Memory: Volume 1, Lasting Impressions, A Tale of Pride and Prejudice (Memory: A Tale of Pride and Prejudice)

by Wells, Linda

  “Well, I return home to Pemberley in a few days. You are welcome to visit if you are so inclined before the next term begins. This will be your senior year?” Bingley nodded. “And will you go on your tour?”

  “I suppose that depends on Napoleon.” He smiled and Darcy laughed.

  “Fitzwilliam … oh, forgive me, I did not know that you had company.” Georgiana blushed.

  “Come in, dear.” Darcy and Bingley stood. “Mr. Bingley, this is my sister, Miss Georgiana Darcy.”

  He gave her a dazzling smile and bowed. “This is an enormous pleasure, Miss Darcy.”

  She stared at the dashing man with wide eyes and whispered. “Oh.” Darcy fixed his gaze upon her and she caught his look. “It is a pleasure to meet you, sir.” She cleared her throat. “I … I only wanted to ask my brother a question about our travel. It can wait for later. Please excuse me.” She fled the room and Bingley turned to see Darcy looking after her.

  “She is charming.” He smiled and Darcy relaxed.

  “Thank you.”

  “Well, I have trespassed on your time long enough. If we do not meet again before you depart, I wish you a safe journey home. I will write to you and see if I can work in a trip to Derbyshire before I return to school.”

  “You will be welcome. My uncle and cousins will be visiting for the grouse season in August.” They walked to the door and out to the hallway. A footman handed Bingley his hat and gloves, and he smiled up at the steps. Darcy turned and caught Georgiana peering at them. Bingley shook his head and then Darcy’s hand.

  “She is sweet; do not be hard on her.” He winked and left the house. Darcy turned to see that Georgiana had disappeared. He swallowed the chastisement that was on his lips and instead asked for his hat and walking stick, and set off across the street and into the park.

  “LIZZY SLOW DOWN.” Mrs. Gardiner said quietly. “Whatever you seek will still be here ten minutes from now.”

  “I am sorry Aunt.” Elizabeth slowed and resumed the stroll that the other visitors to the park seemed to be practicing. “I am not seeking anything; I guess that I am just anxious to see everything.”

  “That is a very contradictory statement.”

  Elizabeth laughed. “I suppose it is. Papa would have enjoyed skewering me with it.”

  “Do you look forward to going home?”

  She sighed and studied her gloves as they walked. “Would it be wrong to say no?”

  “If that is your opinion, it would be dishonest to say otherwise.” Mrs. Gardiner smiled and looped her arm with her niece’s. “Tell me what troubles you.”

  “It is not one thing alone. Mama does not like me. Why? She seems particularly anxious to see me married and gone. I cannot for the life of me understand what I ever did wrong?” She looked up to her aunt who was nodding.

  “I had a friend that I knew from childhood. He was born when his father was away from home on business. His father never forgave him for that and treated him harshly all his life until he was old enough to become apprenticed to an attorney. He gladly left home, and his family never saw him again.”

  “How ridiculous! It was not the boy’s fault when he was born!”

  “No it was not, and it is not your fault that you were not born a boy as your mother had determined you would be. And it is not your fault that you are bright and that your father showers what attention he does give upon you instead of his wife and other daughters. None of it is your fault, but the result is that your mother unreasonably resents you.”

  “So I am not pretty, but I must find a husband with my charms and save the family from starvation when father dies because he is …”

  “Yes.” Mrs. Gardiner squeezed her arm. “Although I imagine that your mother would be happy with any of you girls marrying. She is very anxious to push you all out of the door to find husbands and secure her future.”

  “What if our husbands do not care for the way she treats us and do not provide for her.” Elizabeth said with a hint of bitterness in her voice.

  “Lizzy, that is unkind.”

  “Oh please Aunt, do not sound like Jane!” She saw the raised brows and sighed. “I am sorry.”

  “I understand.”

  “She will have nothing good to say of you when I arrive home since I am not engaged.” She smiled.

  Mrs. Gardiner laughed. “Oh, I expect a letter soon describing how I have failed you and at the same time begging me to invite you girls back for a second chance. She does not realize that we ask you here, not only for the pleasure of your company and to educate you a bit more, but also to relieve you of her pushing. You are too young to marry. However, Jane is now at the proper age to begin looking, and we will not discourage any men who might seem interested. I do not expect her to meet any when she comes for my confinement, though. We will be busy.” She winked.

  “Will she be present at the birth?”

  “No, of course not, but she will look after the children and perhaps calm your uncle.” She smiled. “It is not proper for an unmarried woman to see such things.”

  Elizabeth nodded and brought up a delicate subject. “Aunt …will you teach me …about being a wife?” She looked up at her and blushed then looked away. “I have witnessed the animals …but …” She spoke nervously. “I have listened to Mama’s friends …it sounds terrible and they wish to avoid it …”

  “Lizzy, I will gladly be the one to tell you of the duties of a wife, and no it is not terrible or something to fear. Whatever your mother tells you should be taken with the knowledge that she is unhappy with …well, just do not listen with both ears if she speaks of it.” She patted her arm. “When you are engaged dear, we will have a good long talk. Until then, just be assured that it is nothing to worry over and perhaps if you find a good caring man, something you will enjoy with him.”

  “Thank you.” She whispered.

  “Now, your uncle tells me that you smiled at a young man yesterday?” Mrs. Gardiner saw her blush even brighter and bite her lip. “And did he smile back?”

  “Yes.”

  “Do you think that you will see him again before you leave?”

  Elizabeth looked up the path and searched the park. “I dearly hope so.”

  Darcy slowed from his brisk stroll and stood near the Serpentine, staring out over the water. Of course she is not here, it is not as if she lives in Grosvenor Square, is it? He picked up a rock from the ground, studied its shape and with skill learned from childhood, skipped it across the surface, and stared in surprise when after one hop, it sank. He heard feminine laughter and looked up only to be disappointed, but not before the ladies stopped and smiled at him expectantly. He nodded stiffly and looked back to the water, hearing the giggles and discussion of his look as they strolled away. I suppose that I should simply become used to this. There will be no excuse next Season. I may cling to the sight of Lizzy, but she is not the one I will marry someday. That would not be fulfilling my duty. He picked up another stone and attempted to skip it across the water, and again failed. I need to stop thinking of her. I must put her out of my mind. I cannot let the ghost of her memory prevent me from looking honestly at all of the women who are suitable for me and Georgiana.

  Elizabeth and her aunt approached the Serpentine, and stopped to gaze upon the water. She looked up to see the back of a tall man standing by the edge, his dark hair touching the collar of his fine coat. She drew in a sharp breath and stepping forward purposefully, decided that this time, no matter how improper, she was going to speak to him.

  “Lizzy, what are you doing?” Mrs. Gardiner asked.

  Ignoring her, Elizabeth moved quickly and approached the man. “Pardon me …”

  He turned and looked at her face, then took in her clothes from head to toe, his face wrinkling in a look of disdain. Elizabeth gasped and blushed. “Forgive me, sir, I mistook you for someone else!” She turned and fled. Mrs. Gardiner met the man’s eye who was regarding her with equal disgust for the display of impertinence. She curtseyed a
nd followed Elizabeth who had rounded a corner and was sobbing into her handkerchief.

  “I …I thought it was him!” She gasped. “Oh what a fool I am! Wanting to come here and perhaps see him, and instead I behave so badly. I am so sorry for embarrassing you!” She cried and covered her mouth. “He looked at me as if I were lint!”

  “Yes dear, he is rich and clearly we are not.”

  “You are not poor, Aunt.” She drew her shoulders back. “I will go tell him that!”

  “Lizzy you will do no such thing! The incident is over! Keep your opinion to yourself!” Mrs. Gardiner whispered. “He had every right to feel offended.”

  “And I have no right to be here.” She sniffed again. “I belong back at home with the mud and the sheep.”

  Darcy walked back along the banks of the water and came upon Lord Reginald Creary. He nodded at him and saw his expression. “Is something amiss, Creary?”

  “Indeed Darcy, some little guttersnipe just walked up to me and had the impertinence to presume we were acquainted. Well, one look from me and she and her companion scurried away. I looked at her dress; it was not what the Queen would call fashionable. Women of that sort should not be allowed to walk here. They should have been stopped at the gate!” He sniffed and noticed the black armband. “Sorry to hear of your father, good man.”

  Darcy’s brow furrowed as he listened. “Thank you. This woman you described, what was her age?”

  “How should I know, seventeen perhaps?”

  “Dark hair?”

  “Yes, has she tried to talk you up, as well? Not that I am averse to a bit of fluff now and again, it does not belong here in the daylight!” He tilted his head, “but if you would care to meet up with her, she went up around the bend.”

  Darcy glared at him. “I am not interested, but thank you for the concern.” He walked away and up the path. Far off in the distance he could see a small young woman walking with another and his pace picked up. He instinctively knew it was Lizzy, then the words of Creary returned to his mind and he slowed. “If someone like he thinks that she does not belong in our circles, without even knowing her, how could I ever subject her to them by pursuing her? It would be unfair to her … and disappointing to my father.” He stopped and watched the women disappear. His voice caught and he felt his heart clench, but still he murmured. “Goodbye, Lizzy.”

  Chapter 5

  11 August 1808

  Uncle Henry wrote to me and has confirmed our fears, Richard is on his way to Portugal, and may even be there now. This will be a real battle, not the little skirmishes he experienced in Norway. He once said that my taking over Pemberley would be the making of me. I fear that it is nothing to the man my cousin will be when he returns. He must return! Uncle says that Aunt Helen is beside herself with worry, and his guilt for not convincing him to study law instead of joining the army is weighing him down. I pray that Richard survives; I fear that his would not be the only life that would be forfeited.

  Darcy stopped writing and dropped his pen, and ran his hand through his hair. Biting his lip he worked hard to control his emotions, but then a glance at the black armband for his father sent him up and out of his chair. He began pacing the room. “God, please do not make this piece of cloth a permanent part of my attire. Please keep him safe.” He stopped to stare out of his window. There was nowhere to go, nobody to talk to about his fear for his cousin and friend, and deep down he knew that it was more than Richard that was overwhelming him. Since his return to Pemberley, the duties and decisions had rained down on him hard. It was his first harvest alone. Of course Nichols and his staff were keeping watch but it was he who was truly in charge. That was how Pemberley was always run. The master hired the best, but retained command. Darcy looked down at his hands and willed them to stop shaking. “Stop this, now! Take control, you can do this!” He looked to his mother’s miniature and received some comfort, then his eyes drifted to the bookshelf where his journals were kept. Without thinking his steps led him there and before he knew it the page was open and he was reading her name. He swallowed hard, closed his eyes, breathed and relaxed, then put the book away.

  A knock roused him. “Sir? An express has arrived for you.” A footman held out the silver salver and he took the letter, staring at the heavily blotched envelope curiously.

  “Whoever penned this must have had a faulty nib.” He opened it and squinted and stared, turning the paper in several directions until he finally made out the script. A small smile came to his lips. “Obviously penmanship was not a subject chosen for study by Mr. Bingley for his son.” He rang the bell and the footman reappeared. “Please inform Mrs. Reynolds that Mr. Bingley will be arriving this afternoon.”

  “Yes sir.” He bowed and left the room.

  He relaxed further. It would be good to have company, and good to distract Georgiana with some ladies about the house when the party from Matlock arrived. Darcy sat down and began reading his correspondence and spent the next several hours at work, there was no point going out on the estate when he had a guest coming. Late that afternoon he received notice that a carriage had entered the park. He stood and walked through the house, stopping in the library where Georgiana was seated with her governess and practicing her French. “Mr. Bingley will be here soon, dear. Shall you join me in greeting him?” He smiled and raised his brow.

  “Oh, yes I would like that.” Georgiana jumped up and Mrs. Somers gave her a look. She blushed and walked slowly to the door. Darcy nodded with approval to see her behaving as a lady, and she smiled to see his pleasure. “You would have made Mother very proud to see what a fine mistress you are becoming.”

  “I am hardly the mistress, Brother.”

  “Nonsense, you are the only Darcy woman in the house, are you not? Therefore the position is yours.” He tilted his head. “Someday if I ever host a ball, you will be the one at my side greeting our guests.”

  “That will be a very long time!” She cried. “I cannot even attend a ball let alone host it until I am out. Why, to hear Mrs. Somers talk, I should not even be eating meals outside of the nursery!”

  “Well that would make meals very dull for both of us. I appreciate your company.” She held his arm and they walked to the front door, stepping outside to await the carriage.

  “I visited Papa today.”

  Darcy turned and looked at her with surprise. “You did? I wish I had known; I would have joined you. This was your first time, was it not?”

  “Yes, I wanted to go alone and apologize to him for not coming sooner.” She looked up at his sad eyes. “Do you think he minded? I just could not visit before; really it was my first time visiting the cemetery at all. Papa never took me there.”

  “So I think that he would understand.”

  “I visited Mama, too.”

  “Yes.” He said softly.

  “Fitzwilliam, there were four other little graves.”

  “Our siblings. You knew about them, Georgiana. The girls were both stillborn; the two boys were lost to fevers when they were infants.”

  “Did you know them?”

  “No, not that I remember, I was a baby myself when the boys died, only five, and the girls, well I remember Mother’s pregnancies, and the sadness when they seemed to just end, but nothing was ever said to me. She and Father were sad for awhile, then all returned to normal, I suppose. Until she had you.” He smiled and patted her hand. “You were a gift.”

  “But Mama died because of me.”

  “Mother died because she had an infection. That was not your doing.” He attempted a smile for her then looked up at the sun to blink hard. “Now, how can we dispense with these sad thoughts? We have a guest to entertain. Will you play for him?”

  “Oh no, please!”

  “Very well dear, I was just teasing.” She looked at him doubtfully.

  “Truly, I was.”

  “It is difficult to tell sometimes.”

  “Have I become so sombre?” His brow creased with the thought and then
he looked up to see Bingley’s carriage arriving. The door opened and the young man jumped out.

  “Darcy!” He held out his hand and they shook vigorously, then he bowed to Georgiana. “Miss Darcy, such a pleasure to meet you again.”

  She giggled and he grinned, then looked back to Darcy. “I did not know at all what to expect when we emerged from the trees up above, but …this place is magnificent. I have never seen the like!”

  “Thank you Bingley, we are very proud of it. Welcome to Pemberley.” The servants had rushed to gather the luggage, and the group moved inside. Darcy gave Georgiana a look and she curtseyed and excused herself. Bingley watched her go. “She is a sweet girl, I hope that she will join us and not be shuttered away in a school room the entire time I am here.”

  Darcy laughed. “So should I presume by your statement that you miss your sister’s company and wish to replace it with mine?”

  Charles chuckled. “No, no, perhaps it is the comparison between the two …well, you have not met Caroline so I should not colour your opinion with mine. I am afraid that she discovered my destination and was quite put out that the invitation was not extended to her.”

  “Really?” Darcy’s opinion of Miss Bingley dropped a notch. “That is rather presumptuous of her, particularly when we have not been introduced.”

  “Ah, yes, well, just wait until you are.” Charles laughed to see his friend’s brow knit and then nearly gasped when he finally noticed the atmosphere. “Good Lord.” He whispered, looking around at the grand hallway and taking in the artwork, furnishings and splendour. “Um, how long has your family been here?”

  Darcy was inwardly enjoying the expression of awe on Bingley’s face. “We have been on this land for nearly eight hundred years, but the house itself has burned twice and naturally been rebuilt and added to over the generations.”

  “So, just as a curiosity, my father’s savings for an estate would purchase me …”

  “The guest wing.”

  Bingley’s eyes widened with shock. “So little?”

  “I see that my sense of humour is definitely poor.” Darcy shook his head. “You can afford a fair-sized estate with that, perhaps something a third or with luck even half the size of Pemberley, but certainly that can wait until after you finish your schooling.”