It's All About the Duke--The Rakes of St. James

by Amelia Grey

  “It’s not just about me, Marlena. You wrote about my friends. About Lady Sara and Lady Vera, who has been so kind to you.”

  “I had no idea what lovely people Lady Vera and the Duchess of Griffin were when I started the column. Just as you had no idea young ladies would be harmed when you wrote your letters.”

  Rath’s anger and frustration continued to build, not just toward Marlena but for all that had happened since he’d met her. “But I didn’t do it intentionally. You did. You admitted that when you wrote about the rumor that started at White’s, your sales soared. Didn’t you know that would put Griffin’s sisters in danger from mischief-makers? Lady Vera might still be at risk from someone wanting to in some way harm her to get back at us.”

  “No. No,” she answered just as passionately as he’d spoken. “I mean yes, it crossed my mind, but I didn’t think anyone would harm a duke’s sister. Who would be so bold as to try?”

  “You, Marlena.”

  She flinched as if he’d struck her. He saw that his words wounded her deeply. They were harsh but he was powerless to take them back.

  “I never wanted them in danger,” she argued. “I didn’t think they would be. I was seventeen. I didn’t think a gentleman would ever set mischief upon a lady. That’s what rakes do.”

  Even though he was angry with her, she could still amaze him with her boldness. In a softer voice he answered, “Yes, I guess we do it, too.”

  “I can’t put my bad behavior off to having had too much brandy to drink or wagering with my friends.”

  “I have never tried to excuse what I did, Marlena. Lady Vera and Lady Sara were as innocent as the ladies we sent letters to.”

  “I understand that now and I am deeply sorry. Lady Vera told me she was actually accosted by Lord Henry.”

  “And you were going to dance with him,” Rath ground out. “I probably should have let you.”

  “Justine arranged that dance. And whether or not you believe me I’ve felt remorse since first meeting Lady Vera. No, since first meeting you.” She took in a deep breath that seemed to swallow down a sob. “I had hoped to end the scandal sheet after the first Season, but I kept doing it. For that, I’m sorry.”

  Rath sensed she wasn’t telling him everything. What else could she know? What had she left unsaid?

  Rath tensed again. “Marlena. You know who started the rumor at White’s, don’t you?”

  She swallowed hard.

  “Someone at the publishing company. Who? Tell me who they are.”

  “So you can throttle them?”

  “Hell, yes!” he answered quickly. “You may have been seventeen and naïve, but the men in White’s weren’t. They knew exactly what they were saying and what might happen because of it.” He took hold of her upper arms and looked fiercely into her eyes. “Marlena?”

  “I can’t tell you.”

  His hands tightened. “You mean you won’t tell me.”

  “All right. I won’t.”

  “Why? You gave yourself to me this afternoon. You said you love me. That should have meant something to you. Even now you could be in the family way because of what happened between us.”

  “I’m not so innocent that I don’t know that, but I also know that it is unlikely after one time together.” Her gaze swept up and down his face. “No matter what else we’ve said to each other, I want you to know I gave myself to you because I’m in love with you.”

  “Yes. If what you say is true and you love me, as I believe you do, you’ll tell me who started the rumor so we can put all of this behind us.”

  “No,” she said, pulling away from his grasp. “If you can’t put this in the past as it stands now and forgive who started the rumor, you can’t forgive me.”

  He let go of her. “That’s not true.” The words were almost a whisper and right now he wasn’t sure they were truthful.

  “I’m sorry, Rath. I don’t really know where redemption comes from. Ourselves, others, or a higher place, but this I do know, I won’t betray anyone else. Through Miss Honora Truth’s Weekly Scandal Sheet, I’ve done all the betraying I’m going to do.”

  Marlena turned and walked out of the bedroom.

  Chapter 23

  He could be a rake if he accepts your heart and then breaks it in front of you.

  MISS HONORA TRUTH’S WORDS OF WISDOM AND WARNING ABOUT RAKES, SCOUNDRELS, ROGUES, AND LIBERTINES

  “Whatever is it that you keep working on, Marlena? I’ve hardly seen you put it down since we returned from the duke’s house.”

  Marlena didn’t look up from her embroidery work. When she’d sketched the garden scene she didn’t realize how much detail she’d put into it. How much time it would take to finish it. She didn’t realize how important it would be to her, and how every stitch had to be perfect. Every color had to be vibrant because the flowers were her friends.

  Unlike those that were already springing up in the garden, these flowers would not die. They would always be with her. Always reminding her of the duke and what he meant to her. And maybe one day her heart wouldn’t constrict every time she thought about him.

  She’d tried hard not be sad around Justine. The last thing she needed was her cousin questioning her about her moods. But it was difficult when Justine mentioned his name. The hope she’d had that he could forgive her for not telling him everything was waning. She hadn’t seen him at any of the parties or dinners she’d been to since she’d left him at her home that afternoon. She’d even asked Lady Vera about him, but she hadn’t seen him, either.

  “Are you not going to answer me?” Justine asked.

  She looked up at her cousin. “I’m sorry. I suppose I have been concentrating too severely on this.” She laid it down. “See, I’ve put it aside now. Are you happy?”

  Justine smiled. “Yes. Now, will you look at me?”

  “I am looking at you,” Marlena said. “Your dress is lovely.”

  “Dear girl, I have my cape, gloves, and bonnet in my hands, do I not?”

  Marlena studied her cousin. “Yes. Where are you going?”

  “We, my dear. We. I told you I’d like to take a ride in the park today. The sun is shining, and I doubt it will last long. I want to take advantage of it. I told you to get ready. It’s the Season. Everyone should see us riding about in the park. How do you ever expect to catch the eye of a gentleman if you don’t go where people, and gentlemen like Lord Henry can see you?”

  Marlena smiled. “I’ve told you I have no interest in Lord Henry or anyone else right now. Could you please go by yourself today? I’ve been out of the house every day for what seems like months. Sunshine or no, I don’t want to go.”

  “Did you intend to make that rhyme? Never mind. All right. I’ll take Tut. Unlike you, he enjoys looking out the window at all the people.”

  “You know I’d rather walk if I were going to the park.”

  “Pity. It looks so much better from the coach. And so do I.”

  Marlena went back to her stitching, and Justine and Tut soon left for their ride. All too soon Marlena realized her mind was no longer on the embroidery and she laid it down. She put on her cape, gloves, and straw hat and went into the garden where the air was cool and crisp. It was more peaceful for her than the drawing room. And certainly more so than her bedchamber now that she’d been there, in her bed, with the duke. The memories were far more vivid than she’d thought they would be. She still couldn’t walk in the door without seeing him standing in front of her with just his trousers and boots on. He was a magnificent man.

  And he had been hers for such a short time. His anger was to be expected, which was why she’d never wanted him to know what she’d done. Why she would never tell him about Mr. Bramwell. Rath admitted he would like to throttle him.

  Marlena sat on the bench where she and Rath had first kissed. She supposed everything would remind her of him. The herbs were green, the trees were budding, and green sprouts had popped up everywhere signaling spring’s arrival. In trut
h Marlena supposed she’d always been alone since her parents died. She’d had those who’d nursed her and cared for her before she’d gone to live with her aunt Imogene, uncle Fergus, and the boys who’d taught her so much. She’d had Mr. Olingworth who’d educated her and taught her to be a lady. Veronica and Eugenia had taught her how to be a loyal friend.

  The duke had taught her how to love. What being in love meant.

  Leaving him that day in her room, with hurtful words between them, had been excruciating. It seemed to have left a hole in her chest where her heart should have been.

  It devastated her to think he believed she’d lured him into her bed for revenge. That he blamed her for the scandal sheet, the harm to Lady Vera, and not telling him who started the rumor, she could understand. She deserved his anger for those things. But his thinking she let him make love to her so she could exact more revenge was the most hurtful of all.

  She wasn’t unhappy, nor was she distraught about their coming together for their afternoon of sweet loving and passion. How could she be dismayed by something she’d wanted so desperately from the man she loved with all her heart? She treasured every moment they were together. She would always remember the extraordinary feelings he’d brought to life inside her. How he’d shown her how he could make her feel, and how she made him feel. She would not forget one single touch or kiss of their time together.

  There had been nothing about her identity as Miss Honora Truth in any of the newsprints or other scandal sheets so she had to believe he hadn’t told anyone. Yet. Maybe Rath hadn’t decided what he wanted to do about it. Maybe he was looking for someone else to take over his guardianship of her.

  Marlena’s head hurt from all the thoughts she’d crammed into it. There was, at least, one thing she could remove from the crowded spaces in her mind, though: The morning had brought her the signal there would be no babe from her time with the duke. That had calmed one of her fears.

  Marlena lifted her face to the sky. The sunshine was as warm and comforting as the duke’s embrace; the fresh air reminded her of him, his kisses, his caresses, his—

  “Marlena! Marlena.”

  The side gate burst open and Eugenia rushed through waving a piece of paper. She stopped abruptly when she saw Marlena sitting on the bench. Her eyes widened and she looked around the garden. “Is the duke here?” she asked softly.

  “No.” Marlena smiled. “I’m alone. Come sit with me and tell me what you are so excited about. And look at you. Out here without a cape or gloves. What’s happened?”

  “I have my shawl but didn’t want to take time to get anything else.”

  “You must have been in a really big hurry.”

  Eugenia’s eyes were glistening with happiness. “If I get cold, we can go inside. I couldn’t wait to show you this.” She handed Marlena the sheet of vellum. “You must read it right now. Out loud, please. I want to hear it again.”

  “All right.” She unfolded the sheet and read.

  “My dear…”

  Marlena looked up. It was from Mr. Trout. She and the man never addressed or signed their letters to each other. That way their names were safe should one of their letters ever fall into the wrong hands.

  “Yes, it’s from Mr. Trout,” Eugenia said. “My maid forgot she had it in her sewing basket this morning. He finally answered us. Read on.”

  “It is with much gladness I tell you the publication of your book has gone extremely well. It has sold out and we are in the process of printing more. I will be adding fifty pounds into your account on the date this note is addressed.”

  “Fifty pounds!” Marlena exclaimed and looked up at her friend. “That’s a fortune! I can’t believe it.”

  “I know!” Eugenia squealed with glee. “Keep reading!”

  “You can expect generous additions in the future. Yours truly.”

  Marlena leaned back in the bench, stunned. The breeze fluttered the edges of the paper. “I can’t believe it earned us that much.”

  “It must be true.” Eugenia reached over and hugged Marlena. “Your book has done so well they are printing more. I’m thrilled for you!”

  Marlena patted Eugenia’s hand affectionately. “You now have enough money for the extra things you and Veronica need. And it looks as if there will be even more coming in to see you through the summer, autumn, and some of the winter too.”

  “It’s so wonderful the book has done so well. I feel bad taking all the money. You’ve never taken a pence.”

  “You know how it’s helped you. So don’t mention that again.”

  “I don’t need extra things for the Season now. You gave me quite enough.” Eugenia sighed. “I don’t even want to attend anymore.”

  “Why do you say that? I’ve seen you dancing with several young gentlemen and you seemed to be having a wonderful time.”

  “I do like to dance, but you know my heart already belongs to Mr. Bramwell. I don’t feel right encouraging anyone else.”

  “Yes,” Marlena said sympathizing with her. “I know what you mean.”

  Her friend’s pale eyes blinked against the breeze. “I don’t know why Veronica won’t let him call on me.”

  “You do know, Eugenia. He’s not a gentleman. He’s below your station in life. If you married him you would never be accepted in the ton again, and you know that would break Veronica’s heart.”

  “And what about my heart?” Eugenia said, sounding angry for the first time. “Is it all right for mine to be broken as long as Veronica’s isn’t? Besides, her heart is already broken because of her husband. Must mine be shattered, too?”

  Eugenia’s passion surprised Marlena, yet heartened her. She liked seeing her friend sounding stronger about what she wanted. “That’s not what I meant, but you do make a very good point.”

  “And Mr. Bramwell makes more money than Mr. Portington’s allowance.”

  “Maybe you can revisit this with your sister at the end of the Season. If you find no one you think you can marry, you can tell her you’ve tried. Maybe she will be more accepting then.”

  “I would like for her to care about what I want. She knows Mr. Bramwell would be a much better provider for me than Mr. Portington has been for her.”

  Marlena decided to stay quiet about that.

  Eugenia went on, “You aren’t happy about attending the Season, either, are you?”

  “Not really,” Marlena said honestly. “Like you, I want a man I can’t have.”

  “The duke.”

  Eugenia was never one to be very perceptive, so Marlena asked, “How did you know?”

  Her friend laughed. “You were kissing him.”

  “Oh, yes, I’d forgotten that.”

  Eugenia’s eyes widened in disbelief and she said, “You forgot the Duke of Rathburne kissed you?”

  “Heavens, no,” Marlena said. “Never that. I had forgotten you witnessed part of it.”

  “Only part of it,” Eugenia teased. “There was more.”

  Marlena looked down at her gloved hands. “You were kind not to question me too much about it afterward.”

  “The truth is, I didn’t really want to know. I was envious.”

  “You? You fainted every time you saw the duke.”

  “No, jealous that you had the nerve to let him kiss you, and I hadn’t let Mr. Bramwell kiss me.”

  “Everyone is different, Eugenia. And I am two years older than you. Besides, it would be a very boring world if we all thought alike and did everything alike, don’t you think?”

  “I know. But tell me, is it as amazing as I think it will be?”

  “Kissing?” Marlena asked, though she was quite sure that was what her friend was talking about.

  Eugenia nodded.

  “Yes. It’s more so. You can’t dream about how wonderful it will feel. You must experience it to really know.”

  “I thought so.”

  Marlena folded the letter from Mr. Trout and handed it back to Eugenia. “Since we have such good news from the
publisher today, I can now tell you what I’ve been dreading to share with you.”

  “I know what it is. It’s been coming for a long time. You’re going to stop writing the column, aren’t you?”

  “I have to.”

  “I know you’ve wanted to for a long time. I can’t be anything but grateful you’ve written it so long.”

  “There were times I enjoyed it. And writing the book about rakes was enjoyable, too. I’m truly glad it did so well. I know the money has assisted you with household matters, but it really hasn’t helped Veronica control her bouts of despair or her problems with Mr. Portington.”

  “We had such hope when we started, didn’t we.”

  Marlena nodded and brushed a strand of hair behind her ear. “And there’s one other thing I need to tell you today. The duke knows I’m Miss Truth.”

  “Oh!” Eugenia rose as if to flee.

  “Don’t worry,” Marlena said, pulling on Eugenia’s hand and forcing her back onto the bench. “Sit back down. He doesn’t know anything about your part in it other than you know about it. He thought you might have been the one writing the sheet, but I assured him it was my idea and I started it, which is the truth.”

  “But I helped get it to the publisher each week.”

  “A minor part, and I’m not sure little details like that were important to him. I didn’t betray your sister’s trust in all the things she told that had happened to her concerning Mr. Portington. None of that matters since he has only gotten worse. Not better.”

  “That was kind of you not to tell.”

  “As you know, he does know Mr. Portington spends way too much money on his collection of oddities. At one time I thought there might be hope for him about that, but now I don’t think anything will change.”

  Eugenia nodded.

  Marlena sat back in the bench and sighed. “What he very much wanted to know—which I refused to tell him, of course—is who started the rumor at White’s.” Marlena put her gloved hands over Eugenia’s and looked steadily into her eyes. “He must never know that we asked Mr. Portington to take Mr. Bramwell to White’s, and that he is the one who started the rumor. Should he ever ask you about that, you must remain strong and not tell him.”