by D. C. Rowley
“Why so sad?” Harley asks me while preparing my latte.
“That obvious?” I ask.
“The stars in the sky on a summer night would be more obscure.” He mocks, trying to enlighten me a little, which I think would be impossible at least for the next couple of days.
I just threw my entire future away by doing what I did, and even though I’m having doubts whether it was the right decision to make, I still believe that what I did was justifiable. It really was too much to take. The hurt, the abjection, the denigration. Not to mention the objectification. He treated me as if I was just an object to please his ego, and after getting what he wanted from me, it was as if I didn’t exist anymore. Nobody deserves to go through this experience.
“What can I do to cheer you up?” he offers. Aww, he’s so nice. I wish Cason would’ve been just a little like him. Things would’ve been different now.
I wouldn’t be here trying to keep my life from crumbling.
“Just the offer does it.” I try to force a smile for him. He deserves it.
“Here,” he comes with two paper cups, one of which is his way to cheer me up. There’s a sprinkled smiley face ingrained on the foam.
“Thanks,” I tell him. “You’re so nice.”
“It’s so easy when you make it co convenient for me to be.”
I greet Harley and head out, praying that things will not go as horrifying as I’ve designated. It’s summer, but the air outside is crispy. I let my disorderliness melt away and try to enjoy the moment. My expectations are so low so that at this point, I’ve decided not to rack myself up.
It seems as if everybody’s happy but me. Like all their lives are well sorted, while mine is a wreck.
That’s the side effect of desperation. Because at this point I’m feeling pretty desperate. I never thought I’d go from warm and fuzzy to a total disaster.
And yet here I am. I’m trying to convince myself I’m a confident, intelligent woman while I’m headed toward her office.
That woman is a monster. But as for now, I think that the only thing that would help is if I convince myself that she isn’t a first class sadist bitch of the best kind.
I step into the office silently, holding my tablet on both hands and waiting expectantly.
“Keira, I’ve been meaning to talk to you.” She doesn’t even deign to look into my eyes. She keeps being involved into work.
“Yeah, I sort of expected that.”
“Well, you should. You wrecked just about everything that I was trying to build. I’d be surprised if you weren’t aware of the disaster you caused.”
“Mrs. Kensington, I’m sorry, I tried my best, but—”
“Well, obviously not your best. You should’ve tried harder. It just goes to show that I was right about everything. You are not ready to take such kind of responsibilities, Keira. So unfortunate.”
“But it’s not me. Cason, er, Mr. Cardenas was turning this into a personal thing.”
“Well, it is personal, Keira. Sometimes everything about business is personal. And you had to do whatever it took. But basically you didn’t have it in you. You’re such a disappointment.”
“I’m so sorry ma’am. I really am. But it was not up to me. Things took a little bit of a detour. And it all got messed up.”
“You should’ve proved your efficiency by going along with it. Fixing it. But all you care about is yourself. I just got an email from his company. Obviously, Mr. Cardenas does not wish to proceed with our agreement. It was terminated in spur of moment. He said he was really disappointed. And that you were one of the most messed up walking failures he’s ever seen.”
It sort of hurts me hearing his words from her mouth. Wow. This really is surprising. At some point I thought that his cruelty didn’t transpass his office. But I was wrong. He’s being cruel even when he’s conspicuous by his absence. And at some point I just don’t get it.
What did this man want from me? Because last time I checked, it wasn’t me who told him to get me hired. He asked for me specifically. And I don’t even know how he was even able to track me down just by my name. And all he did, ever since I stepped foot into his office, was being rude and treating me like trash. And if all that wasn’t enough, he wants to see me destroyed. And I don’t even know; what did I ever do to him?
“I’m so sorry that I’ve left him with this impression.”
“Well, stop being sorry, Keira, for once in your life. It was up to you what kind of image you wanted to leave him with. And you left him with the worst of kinds. So, congratulations.”
“I was hoping that as a woman you’d understand.” Like, what is wrong with this woman? I couldn’t be this man’s personal assistant, employee, interior designer and his fuckbuddy.
“You think, in my entire career, I’ve never been asked for nasty favors from nasty men, who think that doing nasty things is the only way to negotiate? But you know what I say to that, Keira? Whatever it takes for success. You can’t really get on the top if you don’t unlace yourself from principles and if you overthink things.”
“Then, I’m sorry. But I wouldn’t even bother asking to get on the top, if that’s what it takes.”
“That is obvious.” She mocks me. “That’s why I’ve come to a decision. I can’t really have you here anymore, Keira.”
“What? You cannot do this to me. What did I ever do wrong, I mean, beside this?”
“Truth be told, Keira, I like you.”
Wow, then she’s got a very weird way to show it.
“But my hands are tight. This is a harsh business. And if I still take you, people are going to get suspicious of me and my business skills.”
I cannot believe it. This bitch is so ungrateful. I’ve done everything for her. Brought her coffee every morning, consoled her every time she needed a shoulder to cry on, never argueed with her rude ways. And what do I get for it?
Ingratitude.
“I’d suggest you started packing right away, Keira. Your substitute is gonna be here any minute.”
“But—” I know it’s futile, but I’m trying to touch any strings of heartfulness on her (if she had any!) by reminding her how handy I could come in. But she doesn’t listen. As always.
“I wish you a lot of luck, Keira. You’re gonna need that,” she mumbles, “after what Mr. Cardenas did.”
“What did he do?” I’m shocked. And this was about the moment that I thought I’ve seen all there is to it. Clearly I have not.
“You’re gonna find out. Now get out of here.” She howls as the craziest lunatic that she is.
I don’t think there’s much left for me to do here, other than gathering my stuff and kissing this place goodbye.
“I’m so sorry, sweetie,” my mother’s mellow voice touches the strings of my heart, as I feel helpless. “After all your dedication and hard work. You didn’t deserve it.”
“Thanks, mom. What is going on there, by the way?”
“Oh, nothing special. Just the usual suburban life. So what are you going to do?”
“I don’t know. Right now, I have to work on my course assignment and then I’ll start figuring what I need to do with my life.”
“Oh, baby. You’ll do fine. You always do. Things will get better.”
“I wish.” I mumble wistfully.
“They will. You have a talent and passion that is undeniable. Any kind of company would be delighted to have you.”
I sort of needed that. After everything I’ve been told lately. I needed the validation. I needed to hear I was worthy. I mean, it’s not like I don’t know it. I love design to bits and not to brag or anything, but I’m really good at it. But getting fired form a job you’ve been working on for so long, and having a sexy boss tell you that you’re not good enough for his needs—well, it sort of ruins the validation.
But I’m gonna get some time off. I’m gonna gather my energies, start believing in myself again, and then I’ll see what life has prepared for me.
�
��Anyway, mom, gotta hang up now. I’ll catch up with you as soon as I can. Good bye.”
“Bye, sweetie.”
As I put my phone to the table, I seat on a chair near the counter to my kitchen and look at my laptop. Oh, the blank page. It’s just so confusing and dreadful for anyone who has to write something. Knowing you can create something out of nothing is just so horrifying and magical at the same time.
And I’m just so confused, sate nearby the laptop, trying to work on something that would impress my professor. I need to do this. I have to do this. I’m just an assignment away from being a licensed designer. And that’s what I’ve been wanting for my entire life.
So I prepare a large mug of coffee, knowing that I have a very long, sleepless night ahead of me, where I’ll be swapped with work. At least, like that, I don’t have to think about everything that’s happened to me lately.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
{Cason}
I’ve been keeping myself busy with work and rough sex over the last few weeks. And I think I’m doing just fine. Sure, there have been casualties when I’ve found myself thinking of Keira, or occasional nights where my cock desperately needed her, but, hey, Rome wasn’t built in a day, right? So, I’d like to congratulate myself on the little progressions that I’ve made.
I’m scrolling through my phone, looking at business deals while I’m screwing some girl who was hitting on me at the bar. I just wanted to fuck somebody, so I was like, why not? And here I am having the most random sex of my life. I’m just not that interested. My cock isn’t twitching vigorously like it should when it comes to pussy. I just wish this girl was somebody else.
But anyway. After I fuck her, I don’t have to see her again, so this might work.
“You having fun over there?” She squeezes one of her breasts and smiles.
God, I just want to tell her to put a bag on her head. Don’t get me wrong, she’s not ugly, or anything. It’s just that after I put my dick on the sweetest pussy of the world, no other pussy seems to do it for me.
I am desperate. God. I am trying to deny this to myself. But I’m missing her. I’m missing her twat. I’m missing how she screamed my name when I was fingering her. I’m missing the feeling when my cock was into her.
“You know what, let’s just get it over with.” I tell her.
“What do you mean?” she scowls with miscomprehension.
“I’m not in the mood. And I’m busy.”
“But, sweetie, I think we had something here. Would it help if I whack you, or let you put your dick between my breasts?”
I look at her boobs. They’re not so big for me to get the full satisfaction from a breast-fuck, so I think I’m gonna pass on that. She leans forward and takes my condom off, while grabbing the shaft, and starts rubbing.
“I told you I’m not interested.” I draw back and she looks confused.
“Dude, what’s wrong with you?” she howls. “You were the one who brought me here, in the first place. Are you even into girls.” She asks and now I’m officially pissed off.
“The fuck? Yeah I am into girls, just not into you.”
“You’re such a jerk.” She tells me, frustrated and wanders through the room gathering her clothes.
I’m just starting to regret taking her home, by the way. She was just annoying from the beginning. I need to talk this over with someone right now. Because I don’t understand what’s gotten into me.
“Dude, are you fucking serious?” Dustin seems pissed off, as if he was the one to get rejected. “You can’t take a girl home and treat her like that.”
“She was just pissing me off.” I mumble disinterestedly.
“Still, you don’t have to be such a brat. And by the way, I can’t think of one time when you have rejected a girl like that. I mean, I could draw a pussy in a letter and you’d shove your dick in it. Is this about some other girl?”
I don’t want to tell him about Keira. He’d just nettle me, anyway. So I leave this little detail out.
“Man, I’ve got the craziest idea.” He seems so excited as if he discovered a new planet on our system.
“Yeah?” I doubt anything he’s say would actually help me with my issues. Or rather, issue. Singular.
“What if I invite some crazy hot chicks over? Maybe the reason one girl doesn’t do it for you anymore, is because you need more chicks at once?”
I would be down for such an offer, but I really am not in the mood. “You know what, I’m just gonna go take a nap. I’m swamped with work tomorrow, so I need to recover.”
“Man, who are you and what did you do to you friend? The Cason I know would never pooh-pooh on such offer. I’m starting to get worried. I mean, should I?” he raises an eyebrow. And I really regret having him come over. He just made me more depressed.
What is going on with me? How can one chick make me feel like this? So helpless and lonely? And to say that I only screwed her once. But it’s been days now while she’s away and I’m still thinking about her.
When Dustin leaves, I grab my phone and scroll through my contacts. I look at her name for a moment that seemed like an infinity and think whether I should call her.
I mean, what would I tell her anyway? Keira, I’m sorry I was such a jerk and ruined your life. Now would you come work for me so that I don’t have to feel so helpless? I probably would treat you like trash again, but hey, I’m obsessed so, why not?
Yeah, no! This is just stupid.
And I realize that my addiction with her is stupid. And when she finds out what I did, she’s probably gonna hate me forever.
I was such a jerk. I treated her so poorly just because I was obsessed with her. Now what kind of person does that?
I do, obviously.
I had some huge presentation today. Of course, I had my P.A. work on it, all I did was gather my charm and good looks and give the motherfuckers what that wanted, but for some reason, they are not satisfied. Okay, let me put it this way; they are royally pissed.
“This was by far the worst presentation you’ve made, Cason.” Mr. Brown, one of the most significant benefactors of this project, tells me. “It’s as if your mind is not on the game as it used to be.”
“I’m sorry, sir. I had my people work on it. The same people who dispose of every single project that’s been approved prior. So I don’t really think this is all on me.”
“It’s not about the work, Cason. I’ve seen the board approving projects way worse than this one. Let me tell you something. In business, it’s not about being genius and coming up with magnificent things. It’s about how you sell off your ideas, no matter how shitty they are, to the public. And like I said. You mind is not on the game this time. I’m gonna suggest you to recover whatever issues you’ve got going on there, because with a behavior like this, I think we’re gonna lose every single investor we’ve ever had.”
He leaves me alone into an empty room and I stay silent for a second. Next thing I know I’m hitting the desk with my hand until it bleeds. I put my hands over my head, and I feel like I want to cry and cream at once.
Of course, I don’t do any of that. But needless to say, I want to punish the person who is doing all these things to me. The person who is ruining me. Keira.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
{Keira}
Wow. I cannot believe it. Just when I thought my life couldn’t get any worse, the strangest thing happened. I’m standing outside my professor’s office door and I’m not able to process what he just said to me.
I worked damn hard on that stupid assignment and he’s decided to fail me. How else am I going to be a successful licensed interior designer if I ruined the last chance I was given at making my dreams come true?
This is just so unbelievable. My stupid professor told me my work wasn’t up to the standard that he’s used to. My hands are shaking and I feel like my life has crumbled down. I never believed I would see myself in this position. And here I am.
But then, a thought hits me. My life was
just decent before he chimed in and ruined everything. I was doing fine handling things my own way. Why did I have to go to that nightspot? Why did I have to screw him?
God, I wish I never knew him. If he hadn’t showed up to the picture, I wouldn’t be jobless right now. This is just his fault.
There’s been a couple of minutes, before I realize I’m standing foolishly in front of that stupid door, so I probably need to move on.
I head downstairs and wander through the crowd. I don’t know how I’ll be able to pick up the pieces. How I’ll be able to get my life back on track. Because at this point, I feel like this is unrecoverable.
My phone rings, interrupting me from my grief. I look at the screen and frown. I don’t recognize the number ringing me.
“Hello?” I try to not sound as desperate as I am.
“Um, hello, is this Ms. Akerson?”
“Um, yes, it’s me.” I realize that this must be from one of the many job applications I’ve made over the last few days. Many of them rejected me through email. This one has decided to give me the news over a phone call. I hope it’s a good one.
“I’m calling from Crossover Designs regarding an application you’ve submitted on Friday.”
“Mm-hmm.” My heart is raising. Please, let this be a good one!
“Though your presentation was impressive, I’m afraid to tell you that you’re not one of the selectees.”
I should just get immune to this now. It’s happening so frequently, I think I’m not gonna get startled anymore by anything.
“May I ask why?” I mean, she told me she liked what I submitted. It’s only fair for me to know what made them step back.
“It’s because of some forwarded referral Ms. Akerson. It basically made our personnel not convinced of your punctuality. I probably shouldn’t tell you this, but it was sent from your former employer. And it was not good.”