Craving The Boss

by D. C. Rowley

  “What do you do when you have doubts about something?” I’m so desperate I’m willing to take a stranger’s advice regarding my issues. “Do you step back and think it over, or do you go in and take the risk?”

  “Probably the right occurrence might never come. So when I have to do something that I’m having concerns about, I dispose of it, no matter the consequences. After all, it’s better knowing how it was like, rather than wondering your entire life about it.”

  Well, it’s not like I could think of anything better myself. So I let him take care of my luggage, and hop inside the car.

  “I know it’s not my business, but it seems like you’re doing something you’ve never done before.” He arranges the mirror to take a look at me.

  “Well, I’m going to start a new life in New York. And I’ve never lived anywhere outside Seattle before.”

  “New York is nice.” He comforts me. “You’re going to like it there.”

  “Yeah, I don’t know. I’ve been going through a lot of troubles lately to actually make me think that there won’t be any in the future.”

  “Well, you never know.”

  “Yeah,” I mumble and look out the window.

  Everything screams that I’m uncomfortable. And I don’t want to be like that anymore. I put my head against the glass and think of when life was so rudimentary and nice.

  Look at me now. I’m crumbling, trying to gather the pieces.

  If I make a mental inventory, I’d come to the resolution that this all started out when Cason made an appearance into my life.

  Why did I have to get along with his offer to join him to his house? I mean, sure I didn’t screw him that day, but I made him trace me down and had him control me as it pleased him.

  When I make it into the airport and am waiting on the lounge peacefully, I spot someone that I think I know.

  “Dustin?” I look at him, surprised. “What are you doing here?”

  “Well, I’m doing what every human being does in an airport.” He smiles. “I’m traveling. What about you.”

  “I’m going to New York.” I mumble. “For business.”

  “No kidding.” He looks surprised this time. “That’s where I’m headed. Though in my case it’s about pleasure.”

  “Well, of course it is,” I tell him and we join into laughter.

  “So what happened at the party?” he asks after a second of silence. “I didn’t spot you anywhere after I left you.”

  “I’m sorry.” I remember everything that happened, how I wanted to get out and how Cason lured me to stay and fuck him. “I just wasn’t feeling like it and decided to head out.”

  “You’re officially the first person who’s ever felt like that in my party. Should I feel offended?” he asks playfully.

  “Well, I’d suggest you didn’t take this personally.”

  “Okay, then.” He shrugs boyishly, and he’s so cute. The fact that he’s Carson’s friend is not a good motive for me to be around him, but I decide to disregard this fact. After all, I can’t let that man have this effect on me anymore. He ruined my life and everything on it, but now I’m about to start a new one. I’m going to be away from him, so it’s about time that I started to forget about him once and for all.

  There are plenty of people, encumbered into their own agendas and itineraries and for the first time in weeks I don’t feel left out. I don’t feel like I don’t belong here anymore. I’m starting to feel normal again and gather my life piece by piece.

  “So what kind of business are you taking off with?” he asks, and takes a sip at his coffee. I look at mine, which has remained untouched since I saw him. Maybe I should drink it as long as it’s still warm.

  “There’s this design company and they’re making me an interior design executive.”

  “Wow, Keira, congratulations. That’s amazing.” He tells me. “But why New York? Wasn’t Seattle doing it for you anymore?”

  I’m starting to figure whether he has any insidious sight upon all this. But it seems like he doesn’t. Which is weird, considering that he’s Cason’s best mate.

  “It’s just how things turned out for me.” I decide not to let out too much.

  “Well, New York is nice. But Seattle is definitely not going to feel the same without you.”

  “Aww, thanks.” Is he hitting on me or something? Because that would just be weird. “What about you? What kind of pleasures are you seeking in New York?” I decide to switch the conversation. I don’t want to talk about me anymore because it’s making me uncomfortable.

  “Oh, I just brought a new apartment in New York and still have not thrown any party in it. And that’s why I’m here?”

  “No way! You’re here to kick off the new house by throwing a savage party on it. Now that’s some serious travelling motivation you got going on there.”

  “Well, more serious than yours.” We laugh again, and it’s so cute.

  “It was nice to meet you here, anyway.” I tell, genuinely. “I mean, I wasn’t the best guest to your party, but it wasn’t intentional. And I’m glad I get to tell you this here, now.”

  “Well, you can make it up to me.”

  “How so?”

  “By participating to the next party I’m throwing.”

  “Oh, I don’t know. I’m sort of going to use the time to get adjusted to the new reality.”

  “Then that’s exactly what you need. Come on, you are going to start over on a new city. You need to know knew people. And that’s where my party comes over.”

  “You’re sort of making a point there. But I don’t know. I’m gonna go there to work, and I’m not sure how much time I’d have to, you know, celebrate.”

  “Then, what kind of life is that?” His eyes are piercing into mine. “Keira, no matter what you tell yourself, you need this. You need to enjoy life. You deserve it.”

  Oh, Dustin. If only you knew!

  Once we’re on board, I adjust myself to my seat. Dustin is on the other part of the plane, of course. He’s traveling business class, while I’m on the economical one.

  I put my earphones on, and listen to every song there is on my tablet. The powerful voice of Paramore springs through my ears as I’m listening to Still Into You. I love that song. I prepared this entire playlist very carefully, knowing that flights are always so boring, and I would need something to keep me in the mood.

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  {Cason}

  “New York?” I cannot believe where this rage swinging through my voice is coming from. “What the fuck is she doing in New York?”

  My private investigator looks at me inexpressibly and proceeds. “Basically she’s taken over a job position she’s been offered at a design company.”

  Fuck! When I had every single company block her from their lists, I didn’t go that far so as to take New York into consideration. What the fuck did I do? Now she’s miles away from me and I don’t know how to hurt her anymore.

  She’s away and I’m still addicted to her. I’m still thinking of her. I made her hate me and take over on a new state.

  What the fuck did I do? What did I do?

  I ask this to myself and feel miserable. Why did I treat so poorly a person that I care about?

  “How did she get there?” I ask, while Cody waits for further clarification. “I mean, who did she get that job from?”

  “Actually it was the idea of her ex-boyfriend.”

  “There’s an ex-boyfriend?” I feel enraged. “How come you’ve never mentioned him?”

  “You never asked.”

  “Fuck that!” I yell. ‘’Do I have to ask you for everything she’s doing? How the fuck would I know? You’re supposed to keep me updated on anything.”

  “Well, he was not a problem. Only now, he is.”

  “Every ex-boyfriend is a problem.” I tell, and want to kill this boyfriend-guy, whoever he is. “Now, why is he taking her to New York? What does he get from all this?”

  “From what I’ve dis
covered, he’s been trying to get back together with Ms. Akerson. But she’s turned him down every single time. Except for now.”

  It’s my fault! I shouldn’t have let her go. If I hadn’t done that stupid mistake, she’d still be here now, working for me, catering to every single acquisition I’d have.

  God, I’m so stupid. How didn’t I think she’d take off to another state? How crazy am I?

  “Mr. Cardenas, may I ask something?” he looks at me.

  I don’t respond, but look at him in a way that makes him believe he can proceed.

  “If it’s not love, then what is it? I’ve seen hundreds of people coming to me and asking to track their loved ones down. Never in my entire career have I seen a man coming to keep tabs on his employee, who he mentioned was not even his girlfriend. What am I supposed to call that?”

  “How about you just keep your mouth shut, do whatever I pay you to do, and keep your nose from places it does not belong.”

  “I’m a P.I. Keeping my nose where it doesn’t belong is exactly my business, Mr. Cardenas. And with all due respect, I don’t think that you’re tracking this girl out of hobby. You’ve got something for her. You’re just too stiff to admit that to yourself.”

  “You know what? I don’t know where you got this idea that you could talk to me like that. So keep your fucking thoughts to yourself and just do your job. If I need a therapist to tell me what I’m about, I’d pay for that. Right now as far as I know, my money goes for a P.I. So be a fucking P.I. and stop pissing the crap out of me.”

  “I’m sorry if something that I said upset you sir. I just feel that this bizarre vibe that I’ve got from this case would after all have an explanation behind it, and it won’t be just, you know, bizarre. And I just wanted to let you know.”

  “Are we done now?” I feel like if this man keeps staying here any longer, I’m going to throw a punch at him, but I don’t want to do that, because I still have things that are uncertain about Keira, and he’s the one who can find them out.

  “I feel like we are. I’m gonna proceed investigating on further developments and have you updated on whatever thing she takes up with.”

  “Yeah, you do that.” I tell him and focus on work, while he’s heading out.

  This is just crazy. How am I supposed to stay focused like that? All I can think about is Keira. I just can’t put up with the fact that she left me here and took off to New York in spur of moment. It feels as if the city isn’t the same without her.

  Everything seems vague and bovine. And I have some stupid incitement telling me to catch the next flight and go to NYC. But she hates me. I can’t just go there and see her ditching me on the most obnoxious way.

  Fuck, Keira. Why would you do this to me? Everything was better off before you showed up to the picture. I was a successful entrepreneur, who hit every pussy on the city that I liked…and now I am just…addicted. I’m addicted to you Keira. And I fucking hate it.

  I get a text on the phone. It’s my friend, telling me that he’s in New York. Okay, it’s not like I’m impressed. He goes there very often, because of wild parties that he throws. But the next text gets me infuriated. He tells me he’s seen Keira. That they travelled together.

  I get out of my chair and throw my phone away. It touched the glass wall with a shattering sound. Then I realize that what I did was just stupid. Not because of the phone. I can have my people buy me a new one in spur of moment. But because I need to know what he’d text me next.

  I know that he likes her. And hell, he likes every fucking person with a pussy. Somehow I can’t stop thinking that he’d hit on her. I don’t want him anywhere near Keira. I know Dustin.

  He’s worse than I am.

  So his being in New York is a vast concern for me. Should I go there and prevent any latent danger that could happen.

  The next minute, I realize I’m becoming paranoid. What are the chances that they would meet again in a city inhabited by millions of people?

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  {Keira}

  I look at the woman in front of me and cannot believe it. Ominousness has taken its tall and disaster keeps chasing me. No, this can’t be happening!

  “I’m sorry, can you repeat?” she was very clear and smooth-spoken, but the message she just delivered is unbelievable.

  “We cannot give you this position. We realized you’re not adequately qualified for it.”

  “And you realized that just now? After I packed all my life and came here?”

  “I’m so sorry.” She looks at me with inexorable eyes. At some point it’s not her fault. She’s just delivering this message for whomever has assigned it to her. But still, it’s not fair.

  I head out, realizing that they’ve already made up their mind and there’s nothing that I would say or do that can change that.

  I pick up my phone, needing to make a call.

  “Kyle,” I mumble, concerned. “Can you explain to me what just happened?”

  “Keira, I’m sorry. I just learned about it.”

  “No, you can’t just get away with only saying that you’re sorry. You had me come here, Kyle, dreaming of a new life, and what do I get for it?”

  “Babe, it wasn’t my decision. I tried to talk to my father. I don’t know what’s gotten into him. He wouldn’t listen to me. I mean, before that, it was already settled. You were the one entitled to that position.”

  “This is just unbelievable.” My hand goes from my face to someplace undecided in the air. “Why does this keep happening to me?”

  “I’ll try to talk to my dad again. I’m just not sure where his mind’s at, right now.”

  “You know what, just leave it. I don’t know what I was thinking to come here and deal with this joke. Kyle,” I say, “after all the things you’ve done to me, this is by far the worst.”

  “But—”

  I hang up and realize that I’ve took it all out on him. But I feel just like my world is shattered to pieces. And I don’t know what to do anymore.

  I feel like I’ve been played so poorly. And I’m not even able to pick up the pieces. I’m that hurt.

  This penthouse is just crappy, anyway. Just too little too pricey, so incommodious for a normal life. Just like every other house for rent on NYC. This city is a giant mess. So maybe it’s for the better that I won’t spend the rest of my life here and get back to Seattle. I mean, Seattle is my home, and despite its flaws, I will always love it.

  I’m looking at a card that Dustin gave me while on airport. It’s his home address at New York. He insisted I should go to his party, but I told him that I’d be swamped with work.

  Well, here I am, swamped with boredom.

  I didn’t unpack, and it’s good that I didn’t. Because I’m just gonna go back anyway. But while I’m at it, I might enjoy the little pleasures NYC has to offer.

  I try to pick up something suitable for a party and get ready for it. Tonight I just need to take my mind off of thing. Tonight I want to tell them all to fuck off and get encumbered into messy partying.

  I check the address twice before I decide to go in. You could hear the loud music even in the hallways and I don’t know how the neighbors are going to deal with this.

  Well, come to think of it, it’s Dustin we’re talking about. He probably has invited the neighbors over and have them celebrate raucously along with him.

  When I’m inside his apartment, I notice that it’s spacious and not at all like the pitiful penthouse I was assigned to. There are people all around. Caterers with trays filled with drinks and food. And crazy music on the background. He sure knows how to party.

  “Keira, you’re here,” Dustin approaches and gives me a hug with one hand, while the other is occupied with a drink. “I’m glad you made it. This party would not be the same without you.”

  “Oh, come on.” I feel like he’s always this nice and it’s staring not to sound genuine.

  “Please, make yourself comfortable. Have a drink,” he offers and
grabs a glass from the nearest tray. He gives the glass to me and I take it hesitantly.

  “What is it?” I ask. I look at the liquid inside and realize that I need this. I need to get my mind off of things and maybe this would do. I mean, I’d never know if I didn’t try, right?

  “Vodka tonic… I guess.” He shrugs and we laugh together. I sniff it out, and the content does not satisfy me.

  “Just drink it.” He tells me, noticing my indecision.

  I comply and take a sip…hmm, more like an entire swig.

  “Wow, this girl knows how to party,” he yells as loud as he can, noticing my empty glass. Yep, I look it all in one gulp. Thirsty me!

  This time around, he does not leave me alone. “Don’t you have guest to show around?”

  “Well, they can show themselves around. I won’t be able to take my eyes off of you.” He tells me and I gape at him awkwardly. “I mean, to make sure that you won’t take off or something.” He adds to break the awkwardness in between.

  “Oh, I won’t this time. Promise.” I open my palm as I pledge.

  “Well, you look nice. I forgot to mention.” He tells me. And somehow it feels nice to have someone compliment you after a very, very grumpy day.

  After a few seconds, the music is muffled down by what it sounded like a riot. It seemed like someone was making a mess to his apartment, since pieces of shattering glasses and guys’ guffaws filled the room.

  “You should probably take a look over there.” I suggest and he seems to be thinking the same thing. “I’ll be right back.”

  “Yeah, no worries.” I let him go as I drench into my newfound passion. Drinking.

  I grab another vodka tonic or whatever this is from the nearest tray and take it all down in one gulp. Somehow I don’t let the caterer go, as I grab another one and empty the glass in a sec. It feels like his tray is getting empty, since I am holding the last filled glass on my hand.

  “You should probably take care of them,” I tell him, regarding the drinks. He should come up with other filled glasses, since I’m just realizing how nice it is to drench yourself into drinking and forgetting about everything about you.