Alexia knew, though, when tomorrow came, she’d have to face the fire within her. She’d have to embrace her heritage. Because she could feel it – that power crawling under her skin – like an itch that would feel amazing when scratched. No more avoiding. It was as if the power had been waiting to be fed, and like a sentient being, the power was no longer being patient. Her fire wanted out.
Alexia couldn’t wallow forever in her worries about her powers. First off, she had a month left of classes, and second, Mama Martinez and her shared a birthday. No way would her parents let the weekend before their shared March 22 birthday pass without a big ass celebration. Every year, since she’d moved in at fourteen, they’d had a huge party for the both of them. Some kids wouldn’t like that, but Mama and Alexia wouldn’t have had it any other way. Birthdays were about family and celebration and one more year of being alive and together, and why should they have separate parties for that? Not to mention, Papa Martinez wouldn’t have been too happy with Alexia if she’d tried to bail because of her own drama – not that they knew about her current drama. In fact, normally Alexia was drama free, so there were just no excuses.
Antonio Martinez was laid back, Type-B, but he had strict ideas about hard work and family, and God forbid you do anything that went against either. These ideals could have been because of his stellar military background. He’d been an officer in the Air Force for twenty years before retiring and starting his restoration business in Montville. Or it could have been because he loved Mama Martinez and Alexia more than anything. Who knew? But he was a good man. The best man Alexia had ever known.
Devon had left just over a week earlier, and Alexia had only had a few incidents since. She’d glowed a couple more times, but no animals had burst forth...yet. She was waiting. She didn’t want to say she was waiting for Devon, but fuck – yes – she was waiting for him. She needed him to show her how this worked, how she avoided becoming her worst nightmare. Not to mention, he was supposed to have been back a few days ago. He’d kept putting it off, though, claiming he was researching. God knew their situation and the murders had been strange, but there had been no more murders since, and they were all on edge. Every night was a new experiment in stress. But life went on.
There was no Devon. And Alexia was getting antsy. She didn’t want to examine the real reason she was so eager to have him back – that a part of her almost craved his company. Because their conversations on the phone had a new tone – a tone that gave her hope. A tone she was also terrified of. Alexia had never had much luck with the opposite sex, and although he’d apologized for that first night, their relationship had started out kind of rocky.
Devon was becoming a go-to for Alexia, though. Since he’d left, they’d had nightly check-ins on the Skröm – what Cam, Mindy and Alexia had taken to calling their Clan Lessons. They’d learned quite a bit about the Skröm and about Clan history, and yet nothing new in terms of theories about what was going on in Montville. But since that first night, Devon and Alexia had been putting aside time to chat about her history specifically. At first she’d thought it was to gain Intel. Yes, she was that suspicious. But then, he’d told her more about him. About his mentor, James. About college. About what it was like working at what she referred to as Hogwarts Lodge. About his business of making furniture and wood pieces and about how his creative side was a strength for him, a place for him to maintain his calm. He’d encouraged Alexia to find something similar, something to hone in on and to focus and to find her calm. Little did he know she’d started to realize he was becoming her calm place, and she definitely didn’t know how to feel about that.
Alexia brushed aside thoughts of Devon and moved up the path to her parent’s house. It wasn’t a large house – a one-story cape. Her family’s home had a bright yellow tone to it that never seemed to fade and white shutters that gave the house a soft look and a welcoming feel.
Before she could ring the bell, the door swung open and Mama and Papa Martinez came at her from both sides, nearly toppling her to the ground. Alexia should have expected it. She hadn’t seen them in two weeks. What could she say? Time flew when you were working through your graduate classes, steadily falling into a scary-as-fuck attraction to a Man Bear, and dealing with your demonic issues.
“Alexia!” Papa Martinez yelled as his strong masculine and pine tree scent engulfed her senses. She breathed him in, and she gave herself over to the feel of their love. Tears welled up, and a single tear fell down her cheek, and she let herself hold on to her parents for all she was worth. Children forget, as they get older, that the comfort of a parent is often not only needed but essential to their survival. Alexia felt that to her marrow. She’d needed this. Mama must have felt the tears because she started to pull away.
“Sweetheart?” Mama asked as she took her hand to Alexia’s cheek and wiped away the not-so-silent tears. Papa Martinez followed suit in cupping Alexia’s other cheek. Alexia took a deep breath and pulled them both back in. She couldn’t talk about it, and to be honest, she was getting sick of crying and screaming and whining about everything. But she needed them, and in this case, only a parents’ hug would do. She needed them like she needed her next breath, and she hadn’t even realized it until the moment Papa had said her name and they had both pulled her into their arms. Mally had been the first mother Alexia had ever known, but she’d found a family in the Martinez home.
She pulled away after a few moments, and while Papa cleared his throat and walked through the front door, Mama gave her one more, quick hug and ushered her into the kitchen. Alexia sat down at one end of the butcher block while Papa moved into the living room to set up for their birthday party.
“Want to talk about it?” Mama asked as she pulled some tuna salad out of the fridge and made Alexia a sandwich. Alexia shook her head and smiled at Mama. No. No, she didn’t want to talk about it. Mama knew, of course, about Professor Anderson. She’d have heard from neighbors and other people in town.
Mama also knew Caty Rios. They had book club together. But talking theories or rehashing her mentor’s murder was not on Alexia’s list of priorities. It wasn’t fun. It wasn’t a mystery she had to solve. It was a mystery she was fully engulfed in, and Alexia most certainly didn’t want to be. She wanted to grieve and move on, but as Papa said: “We don’t always get what we want, and be suspicious when you do get what you want because it may not be something you need.” Ironically, he loved bringing up that particular saying even more so when Alexia started dating someone new, but she applied the lesson liberally.
“No, Mama. I’m good. I just – I just can’t talk about it now.” Alexia gave Mama a smile she was sure looked sad, but that couldn’t be helped.
“Well, you come to me when you need to, baby,” she said, patting Alexia’s hand as she placed a sandwich in front of Alexia. Mama had made it on sourdough, Alexia’s favorite, and it brightened a dark part inside of her just knowing that Mama always had sourdough around – just for her – even though Mama and Papa hated it. Alexia crooked her finger at Mama and Mama bent toward her.
“I love you, Mama,” she whispered and Alexia gave her a peck on the cheek. Mama pulled her back in before she could move away and gave her a loud smacking kiss right on the lips.
“You bet your ass you do, favorite daughter of mine,” she said laughing and moving away.
“Favorite daughter? Hah,” Alexia said. “Only daughter is more like it. I’ll be taking care of you guys when you get old. Be nice, and I’ll make sure I have an in-law space in my Tiny House village.” She guffawed at their long-standing joke as she moved to the pot on the stove and poured them both some steeped herbal tea. It felt good to laugh and to relax in her mama’s kitchen.
“So…” Mama said, putting the tea in front of Alexia before grabbing a seat across the butcher block, and sipping her own tea as well. She had a look about her. A secret look that made Alexia nervous. It was the look mothers got when they knew something you didn’t, and it never ended well.
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“So?” Alexia parroted suspiciously, finishing up her sandwich. God, she could devour Mama’s sandwiches. No one’s sandwiches ever tasted like Mama’s.
“So, Papa and I—”
“Not Papa and I!” Papa yelled from the living room where he was setting up chairs and tables. “Mama. All Mama!”
“Okay, fine Antonio,” she yelled back.
Alexia laughed. “Just spill it, Mama.”
“I,” Mama emphasized, “heard about a certain guy being back in town.” She gave Alexia a look as though she should know what Mama was talking about.
“Okay…” Alexia said, puzzled.
“And I invited him to the party today.”
Who was Mama talking about? What man? Devon? She wouldn’t have known about Devon.
“It’s been a while,” Mama added, almost hopeful, “but I thought maybe with him back…”
Who hadn’t she seen in a while that Mama would know—
“Fuck me!” Alexia said, the truth finally dawning on her. “Nicky?” There’d be no one else Mama would be hemming and hawing over.
“That’s what I said,” Papa yelled, from the other room at the same time Mama said, “Language.” She spent too much time with Caty.
“Jesus,” Alexia snapped, horrified. “You invited Nicky? To our birthday party? Nicky? Mama, what the hell were you thinking?” Alexia tried not to yell, but she couldn’t help it. She tamped down her anger, tried to put it in check. She didn’t know what a little anger would do to her now, and she didn’t want to find out. God forbid she start turning into a human glow torch in front of her parents.
“Now, Alexia,” she said, grabbing Alexia’s hands. Alexia didn’t pull away. Mama was going into “Mom-mode” and thinking crazy thoughts about grandchildren and Alexia being alone with her books for the rest of her life or other such nonsense. Her thoughts were probably true, but Alexia didn’t give a fuck about that. She was happy alone. Kind of. Sort of. Probably. Okay, fuck! She had been okay alone. Her Midnight/Devon issue had made her a little less okay with her forever aloneness. But Nicky? No. Absolutely not.
“Abso-fucking-lutely not! Don’t even think about justifying this, Mama.”
“Oh, stop your tantrums, Alexia. You always did have the best tantrums.” Mama had only known Alexia since the age of fourteen, but she wasn’t entirely wrong. Alexia could be totally dramatic when she felt the need for it. And granted, Mama didn’t know the whole of Alexia’s history with Nicky, so she couldn’t blame her either.
“Now, listen,” Mama said. “He’s home now. Not just on leave. He’s home for good. Became a civilian last year and built up a security firm that does jobs all around New York, Massachusetts and Connecticut—”
“Yeah, Mama. He’s probably a mercenary,” Alexia said sullenly, like a petulant child. Mama was right. Total tantrum.
“Mercenary…pfttt,” she huffed. “He’s grown. You’re grown. It’s been eight years, sweetie. Whatever happened between you two after your senior year, you loved that boy more than anyone, and well… Your Papa and I—”
“Mama!” Papa yelled again from the other room. Damn, he might be in his sixties, but that man had fucking amazing hearing.
“I,” she emphasized again, but glared in the general direction of Papa before skewering Alexia with a look. “Well, I think you need to give him another chance. For you and for him.”
Alexia thought about Mama’s words for a second. Despite her history with Nicky, and the fact that she’d never truly accepted his rejection, she knew she wouldn’t give him another chance. There was no way. She’d moved on, and her current feelings centered more toward a certain Man Bear. No, she wouldn’t ever go down that road again, but she could forgive him and maybe she needed that closure to have any sort of relationship in the future. Closure was important. And, well, the fucking grown up thing to do.
“Mama, I don’t know if I can…” Alexia trailed off. No, she could. She would. She had to forgive him – not for his sake, but for her own. She was strong. Devon had awoken something in her, quite literally if she wanted to bring the Skröm thing into the conversation, but also something emotional. She didn’t want to be alone. But she also didn’t want just anyone. She wanted a partner. She wanted Midnight. She wanted a Man Bear named Devon with chocolate skin, a kind smile, and deep, grey-green eyes – and fuck, she needed to stop thinking about him every other second. She’d never felt so attracted to someone before, and she didn’t know why she wasn’t fighting it, like the compulsion to think of the him and the need to talk to him were natural.
“Okay,” she said, the decision made. “Okay, I’ll try to get along. I’ll be civil.” And then she gave Mama a serious look. “But no way in hell am I doing anything beyond that. You don’t know what happened between us, Mama, but you’d be proud of me if you really knew.” Alexia hopped off her chair and gave Mama a peck on the cheek before placing the half empty teacup and the sandwich plate in the dishwasher.
Mama gave her a meaningful smile when Alexia walked back toward her. “I know I don’t know all the details, but you trying…you giving someone a second chance…” she began, softly. “That’s all I ask for, favorite daughter of mine—”
“Only daughter,” Alexia said again, laughing lightly.
“The best daughter I could have asked for,” Mama said, smiling and pulling Alexia in for a hug.
Ironically, despite her poor matchmaking skills, she was the best mother Alexia could have asked for, too. Mama held Alexia tightly before letting go, and they spent the rest of the early afternoon, before their birthday party, helping Papa get everything ready.
Alexia could feel the tattoo of her heart against her breastbone as she thought about seeing Nicky again, but he wouldn’t be able to win her heart even if he wanted to try. An image of a black bear with human eyes formed in her mind, and before her nervousness could get the better of her, she felt a steadying calm suffuse her being. There was only one man who could make her feel that way now, and although he wasn’t the love of her childhood, her first love, there was a part of her that wanted him to be her last.
“You going to hide forever, Lex?” Mindy asked.
Yes. Yes, Alexia was going to hide forever.
“He’s cute,” Mindy added, matter of fact.
“I’m not hiding,” Alexia protested.
Of course, they both knew that was a lie. She was hiding. At her own birthday party.
Nicky stood at the other end of the room talking with Danny and Cam. Apparently, Cam and Nicky had known each other the summer he’d lived here before attending West Point. Nicky had been about to join the military, and Danny, Cam’s best friend, brother, and now partner, had just joined after college. But Alexia had been so wrapped up in her own little love story, she’d ignored everything but Nicky during that short summer they’d been together…
Nicky Arviso was beautiful. Everything about him, from his dark, olive-toned Native American skin to his deep, brown eyes. He was tall at over six feet, kind, and so smart. Plus, he wanted her. Every girl her age had wanted him, but he’d chosen Alexia. It was the summer after her senior year, and they’d been dating for almost two months. She’d been thinking about how worried she was with him leaving for West Point after his summer job on the lake was done. But they loved each other, and she knew their love would survive anything.
He stopped on the sidewalk, leaned down slowly, and took her chin in his hand. He looked into her eyes, and he wasn’t afraid. He didn’t treat her differently because of her eyes. When she looked up at him, there was such a strong feeling of love and of safety that she knew she would never fall in love again. Nicky was her one and only.
“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered, and his lips descended slowly toward her own. They’d done this before. So many times, they’d done this. But this time, it felt different. This time felt more magical. More permanent. His hands, which had been holding hers steadily, now moved around to clasp onto her shirt in the back with o
ne hand and grabbed onto her butt with the other. God, she loved when he touched her, any way and any time he touched her.
Alexia became warmer with each touch, bolder, and her own hands moved from his chest. One moved to his lower belly, just above the place she’d been most curious to touch. She grabbed the top of his jeans and held onto that top button, half in fear and half in unchecked desire. The other hand moved to his ear and pulled on the lobe as they kissed each other thoroughly. He loved it when she played with his ears.
“My place,” he whispered. Alexia nodded. His place was not only closer, but he was the only one in his small studio above the laundry mat. They couldn’t go to her place. Mama and Papa Martinez would be there, and there were things she wanted – no, needed – to do that she couldn’t do in a home with her parents a couple doors away.
He held her hand the entire way, but now, standing in the doorway to his apartment, she was nervous. He pulled her inside and locked the door behind him before taking one long stride to end up right in front of her. His eyes met Alexia’s, and like that, her anxiety evaporated. He didn’t ease into the kiss this time. His lips crushed against her own. He almost lost his footing and tripped, but he righted himself as they made it safely to the bed. He leaned over the double bed, letting Alexia fall against the rough, utilitarian blanket.
“You sure?” he asked, breaking away from the kiss. He looked like he was in pain, and she understood. They needed each other.
“Hell, yes,” she said, kneeling on the bed. She started to pull her shirt off, but he stilled her hands, grabbing at the bottom of her pink Madonna t-shirt and slowly unwrapping her. She was curvier than most girls her height, but she didn’t feel self-conscious as Nicky pulled the shirt over her head, revealing her two piece underneath. She spent her summer days at the lake when she wasn’t bussing tables at Trappe’s Bar.
The top of her suit came undone easily when he pulled the string in the back, and suddenly she was completely naked from the torso up. The first touch of his large hands on her breasts was the most glorious thing she’d ever felt. She was so ready for him; it was almost embarrassing. She knew what she needed, where this would end, but she didn’t need to rush. His hands on her were worth so much in that moment.
The Devil's Pride (Wild Beasts Series) Page 12