His head bent forward as he took a nipple into his mouth and continued playing with her other breast. His hands were nothing in comparison to his mouth, though. She grabbed at his long, black hair – hair that would soon be cut short when he became a military man – and she pulled on its glorious length, tightly holding him to her chest. His chuckle, followed by a growling groan, only spurred Alexia on.
A sudden urgency filled her, and she couldn’t have stopped her hands if she’d wanted to. She moved quickly, pulling off the rest of her clothes until she was fully naked in front of him. His eyes were dark, his face taut, focused, hungry. She wanted that hunger. She wanted to match his need with her own. He pulled off his shirt, and his stomach muscles bunched with his quick movements. He pulled his pants down next, and although she’d caught a glimpse of him before, she could see him full on now, and she ached to feel everything.
Alexia reached out, and her hand touched the hot, silky skin of his penis. It felt different than she’d expected. More smooth. She didn’t spend more than five seconds exploring before Nicky grabbed her hand in a plea to stop.
“Enough,” he ground out. “Sorry, Lex, but I can’t right now. I want to be inside you.” He pulled a condom from the back pocket of his jeans, which had been great thinking on his part because she most definitely wasn’t on birth control.
He came between her legs, and she naturally lifted them, bending at the knees and opening herself more fully to him. She felt him settle against her even as he tried to hold his body slightly away from her own. His erection moved at her opening; she took a breath and relaxed into the moment. She pushed slightly at him with one hand and pulled him closer with her other hand at his back. The pain was awful, and he must have sensed her unease because he stopped and looked down.
“You good, Lex?” he ground out.
“It hurts, but keep going,” she pleaded with him. He groaned and moved more fully inside of her. She could tell he tried to stay still to keep from hurting her, but Alexia was coming back to herself now, and the pain was lessening as he moved in and out. Tingles were starting to build from that small place, and his movements made Alexia writhe on the bed, not in pain, but in ecstasy. What was that?
“You okay, Lex? I’m so sorry,” he said, stopping.
“Don’t, Nicky. Don’t say sorry. That wasn’t a bad feeling – like at all,” she said, puffing out a laugh. “Do it again.”
He smiled down at her as he moved again. It took some maneuvering and another minute to get him back to that amazing spot he’d touched before, but her blood was pounding in her ears and the tingling had continued to build. She needed something. She felt on edge, on the cusp of something huge, but she didn’t know how to break over that edge. His coming back to that spot with force was the momentum she’d needed. Alexia felt herself let go, and the warmth she’d been feeling catapulted across her nerve endings, tensing and a cataclysmic release through her entire body. She heard Nicky grown above her, felt him jerk a few more times as her body pulled him in tighter, more tightly than before, and she knew he’d come as well.
He fell on top of her, and rather than push him off, she held him close. He was taller than her, and when he’d fallen, his neck had been right at her lips. She kissed the salty sweetness from his neck and breathed in his comforting scent as she nuzzled him.
“Jesus, Lex!” he cried. “That was…fuck!” Pretty much. She smiled up at him, and he kissed her before moving to pull out of her. When he pulled out, she felt another sting of pain that caused her to cry out. He rushed into the bathroom after murmuring another apology and came back with a warm washcloth. Who knew he’d have anything clean in his messy place? Alexia smiled at how considerate her guy was.
“You still hurting, Lex?” He looked worried as he returned to the bed.
“Nah, Nicky. It stung when you…when you…” God, they’d just had sex. One of the most intimate things two people could do. How could she not say what had happened?
“When I pulled out of your pussy?” he said, laughing at her discomfort. She smacked at his chest and curled into him.
“Yes, when you pulled out,” she said. “But it just feels achy now. Not bad. Just achy.”
They didn’t talk for a while. They just lay in each other’s arms. Feeling each other’s hearts beat in rhythm before falling asleep blissfully unaware of the pain the world could bring…
It had been a great night. A wonderful night. A magical night. And it had all been a lie.
After he’d left, she’d never heard from him again except for one letter. A letter a month after he’d gotten to West Point in which he’d told her that he couldn’t date anyone at the time, that he was committed to school and to his service, and that he didn’t need a distraction from another pretty face. If he’d thought she’d be flattered by the “pretty face” comment, he’d been amazingly dimwitted. He’d even thanked her for a “good time.” It had taken her years to get over the hurt he’d caused, and now he was sitting across the room talking to her best friend’s soul mate and acting like he hadn’t been the biggest dick in the world. Fucker could suffer without her forgiveness for a little bit longer.
“Well, shit. If I’d known all that, I would have stopped my man from talking to that low life scum bag,” Mindy said.
“Seriously? You’re honing in on my thoughts now?” Alexia said without the passion and anger she thought she should feel. This was Mindy. She was always scaring Alexia with the extent of her gift. Alexia should have known Mindy would pick up on some of her thoughts even though Mindy always claimed she couldn’t read thoughts.
“Not thoughts. Feelings, and lately, small images. I can’t actually read your mind. Sorry. You were sort of broadcasting those feelings. Plus, I’ve noticed since I started seeing Cam, and even these past couple weeks, that my gifts have sort of…”
“Expanded and gotten fucking scary?” Alexia asked in a chipper tone.
“Yeah,” she said, more quietly.
“You don’t think—”
“I’m not going there, Lex. I think we have enough to worry about right now. No one can know. Cam doesn’t know. Only you. Only Caty. Danny knows a little because he’s always at Trappe’s waiting with me on the nights Cam picks me up. Cam’s a paperwork junkie,” she said with a small smile that didn’t reach her eyes. “But otherwise, I keep this thing I’ve got quiet.” Mindy blew out a breath.
Mindy was always the composed and centered one, but she looked frazzled, so Alexia dropped the subject.
“So, you gonna go over?” Mindy asked.
“Nope,” Alexia said, succinctly. “And there’s really no need since he’s coming over here.” She braced herself for Cam and Nicky’s arrival, and it came sooner than she’d have wished.
“Lex, it’s been a while,” Nicky said, coming up to her side.
“Yep,” she said, putting on her resting bitch face and smiling over at Cam who had joined Mindy. “You talk to Devon today?” Alexia asked, looking away from Nicky.
Cam gave her a questioning look. He knew she’d been spending more time than was needed talking with his brother, so he probably suspected something was going on. And his look was nothing less than protective as he took in the tense reunion between Nicky and Alexia. “Not today. We’re set to talk tomorrow. He’s got some stuff going on…” he said before trailing off.
Mindy whispered in his ear.
“We’re going to go say hi to your parents. I haven’t had a chance to talk to Antonio and Lara tonight.” Mindy gave Alexia a challenging, you-better-buck-up-look before asking, “You good?”
“Yep,” Alexia said, squaring her jaw and lifting her chin. Mindy nodded in approval and pulled the thoroughly confused Cam away.
“Lex?” Nicky’s voice was different now. Stronger. More commanding. Of course, he was more commanding. He’d definitely grown into himself. Whereas he’d always been strong, now he was a beast. Even taller than before, darker olive-toned skin, a near buzzcut to his straight bla
ck hair that made him look harsher. He had a scar trailing his upper chin that, instead of making him look harder, actually made him look more human.
Because he looked otherworldly now. Not in the way Devon looked otherworldly when he turned into a bear. No. The man who Alexia had once thought of as her one and only was hard. Cold. Calculating. She could see it in his eyes, and she hated herself for the pity she felt. She didn’t want to pity him. She was proud of him. He’d fought wars, kept people safe, served his country. As much as a part of her hated him, she knew he’d become what he’d needed to in order to survive. How could she not be proud of that? But she also saw nothing of the old Nicky in him, except for that small scar that showed starkly against his chin.
“Nicky, it’s good to see you,” Alexia said, mentally distancing herself from the pain and the discomfort of the moment and giving him her best smile. She pulled him in for a hug. What better way to show she had forgiven him and moved on than to show that she could touch him without succumbing to that touch? He held on longer than he should have, and she had to gently pull herself away from his touch. She still felt it. The sparks. But the ache in her heart that told her he was important, was gone now. The intense pain he’d caused eight years earlier was gone now as well. Mindy had helped heal those wounds over the years – even though she hadn’t known the whole story.
Nicky tried to grab Alexia’s hand, but she pulled back. He wouldn’t get another part of her ever again. He’d had his chance. It was her chance now. She wanted someone who held her when she was sobbing after a bad dream. Someone who wasn’t afraid of her bad parts, who didn’t run away when things got complicated. Someone who shared his days with her. Someone who called her to hear her voice. She wanted someone Nicky wasn’t, someone Nicky could never be. She wanted Devon. And honestly, it was doubly scary that the intensity of what she’d felt for Nicky almost paled in comparison to what she was just starting to feel for Devon. How much stronger would her feelings for Devon be if she got to know him more? How much more could he break her than Nicky had? She pushed those thoughts to the side. Nothing had happened yet. She was borrowing trouble, and she needed to take a step back.
“So, you’re back for good I hear. Where’re you staying? Local?” Alexia asked.
“Yep. I’m staying with my parents in Dunham until I find a place here. So, six hours away if that’s close,” he said chuckling.
“Huh,” she said. “That’s right. I’d forgotten you were from Dunham.” She shook her head as images from the dream she’d had the week before reformed in her mind. Images from a dream with Mally and wolves and—
“Uncle Grover,” she whispered, and the hushed name was pulled from her as though it was essential that the title be shared. Alexia could have heard a pin drop, and when she looked at Nicky, she noticed the shock there.
“You remember,” he said, eyes widening. Alexia couldn’t answer. What did she remember? There was nothing to remember. That dream hadn’t been real. It couldn’t have been real. Uncle Grover? And Nicky?
Then his words actually hit home. What did he know? “What the fuck, Nicky,” Alexia whispered, so that only he could have heard her.
“We’ve got to talk, Lex.” She couldn’t breathe, and before she knew what was happening, Mindy was beside her and Cam was standing between Nicky and Alexia.
“I think you need to leave, Nick,” Cam said from in front of her. Normally, she preferred to handle her own problems, but she wanted protecting in that moment.
“Okay,” Nicky said, his tone cautious. “Okay.” And then he peeked around Cam and his warm, brown gaze pierced Alexia with its intensity. He’d always been good at the direct stare. “But you and me, we’ve gotta talk, Lex. I have a room at the local motel. I’ll be staying there for the next couple weeks while I look for places to live. Come see me.” He pleaded with her, and a little bit of the old Nicky bled through, so Alexia nodded despite her fear. She still couldn’t speak, though.
Cam walked Nicky out and Mindy followed. Alexia needed a moment. Of course, at your birthday party, in your parents’ house, it was hard to get a moment, and as soon as she sat on the couch in the living room, Papa and Mama joined her.
“So…” Mama said, drawing out the word.
“So,” Alexia said back.
“So, your Mama and I fucked up, kid,” Papa said from Alexia’s left. She chuckled. That was the type of man her Papa was. When a plan was in action, he let the team take the credit, but when it went to hell in a handbasket, he’d be the first to admit he was a part of the fuck up.
“Not your fault, Papa,” Alexia said, resting her hand on his knee. “It was bound to happen. He’s moving here, so it was inevitable.” She couldn’t share the other revelation with them, not yet. They wouldn’t understand right now. She didn’t even understand. Every time she got over a blow, another one would hit her from the other side. She’d been lied to by the man she’d once loved, and she was now falling for someone who she felt could break her soul as well as her heart. She was turning into something – she didn’t know what – and she couldn’t control any of the changes she was going through. It was too much. All of it.
While sitting on the couch in the comforting arms of her parents, Alexia realized one very important thing: she was out of Ben & Jerry’s, and the grocery store was closed.
It was a good thing Mama always had a full fridge of Half Baked on demand. Alexia would be commandeering a pint for her brainstorming session (ahem, wallowing) later.
But as wonderful as Ben & Jerry were, they were only a temporary solution. She didn’t know how to make things better, not for herself or her current situation. She didn’t know how to move past her fears and her anger and her insecurities. She was trapped in her own mind, in her own past, in other’s lies, and in the web of Fate. She curled into the arms of her parents for the second time that day, but they couldn’t heal her. Mindy couldn’t heal her. She knew only one person who could heal her now.
And that was her.
Mindy was used to seeing dead bodies. She’d even been known to feel some residual emotions after their death. It was an ability, a talent, a gift, a freak-of-nature skill that few knew about. She hadn’t set out to keep her gifts a secret from Cam. It’d just sort of happened. Danny knew. Caty knew. Hell, a few of the force had seen her at one scene or another the past year picking up on the otherworldly whispers, but Cam…Well, Cam – for all his hunches – was a by-the-book guy, and he didn’t like “magic” stuff, so he ignored her own rather spot-on hunches.
She’d wanted to come clean with him that night a couple weeks back when she’d met Devon, but things had spiraled out of her control, and now her gifts didn’t always feel like her own. Things were changing, for him, for her, for them all, and she’d been too scared to bring up her gifts again. Maybe it was for the best.
The full moon rose high in the otherwise pitch, black sky, and as she looked down into the pit, her head ached from the pounding whispers of the dead bodies calling to her. Cam stood to the side, throwing her the occasional worried glance. She’d need to share what she was feeling – no, what they were feeling – soon, or she’d likely throw an aneurysm. Her gifts weren’t a joke. She’d had seizures when she was younger after not sharing a feeling from the dead – only the one time, but that had been enough of a warning. It didn’t quite work that way with the living, but even then, it was hard not voicing the truth under the lies most people told – and she often found herself physically ill after being too long in a crowd.
“The mother was first, right?” Cam asked Caty, who gave him a sharp look. “Just like the Anderson case?”
The few park rangers who were there had been keeping a close eye on the forest trails and the outlying areas since the first murder, but the murderers weren’t playing around.
For the second time in a two-week period, the police and the coroner's office were standing in and around a dank pit of blood and bodies. Four family members lay in the newly formed shallow pit, a
gain completely drained of their blood. Some of that blood, just as with the first scene, was dripped around the hollowed out ground where the dead lay. Also again, Cam had surmised that the pattern of the drying blood appeared to have been made in increments and that the family members were made to watch. There was still no proof of that, but Mindy trusted Cam’s gut. He was good at what he did.
“Yes, the mother,” Caty conceded, followed by a string of Spanish words Mindy was sure were curses. “And then the father followed by the son and then the daughter.”
“At least in this case, we know there’s not another kid out there being killed in her home. We already checked,” Cam said, working the crick in his neck and running his fingers through his blond hair. Mindy watched the movement with a shudder. The emotions that man puts off, she thought to herself. “The family – the Laheys…” Cam didn’t need to read off his notes or the file. He always knew the names, and Mindy loved him even more for that. “They were camping for the week in the tenting section of this park. It’s the 23rd, and the park ranger said there’s supposed to be some full moon eclipse thing later on tonight and tomorrow morning in the area. A lot of families in the area, but this family of four was chosen.” Cam stopped for a minute and watched Mindy and Caty work, his expression grim and his voice almost desperate as he added, “There’s a clear pattern building, and I’d rather not have this happen to another family, so find me something… Find me anything.”
Cam turned to Mindy and motioned for her to come to the side of the pit. “We’ll find something,” she promised, trying to reassure him.
He nodded but his expression was unchanging. “I’ve gotta head out. Check on Alexia even though she’d kill us both if I told her I was doing it because Devon asked me to. And also, I’ve gotta give Devon a call. See if he’s got anything yet.” Cam pulled his hand through his blond hair again and gave her a worried look. He was in pain, and Mindy couldn’t take that. She put aside the pain of her headache and her own feelings of unease over the information she had to share with Caty. After removing her gloves and bagging those as well, she took his hands and met his eyes.
The Devil's Pride (Wild Beasts Series) Page 13