“Hailey isn’t up for discussion. And I get it, conversation over. But Luke, there is nothing worse than lying to yourself, and we both know that you’re lying when you say that you are not the person to love Morgan.”
Before I can say anything, there’s a knock at the door. I turn back to the window leaving Scott to be the one to open it, I can’t deal with anyone else right now. As I look out the window there’s a part of me that hopes Morgan changed her mind and came back, but I know deep down that she won’t, I can’t and don’t blame her. She deserves happiness.
“What the fuck are you doing here?” Scott's angry tone penetrates my deep thought, and I quickly turn to see who he’s talking to and fuck me, Alex is here.
“Nice to see you too Scott, still living here I see.” Her catty tone sets me on edge even more than I have been, I don’t move, I stand at the window watching.
“Well yeah, not that it’s any of your business, but I own half this apartment. So again, what the fuck are you doing here?” Again his tone is full of anger, and I’m shocked that he hasn’t slammed the door in her face yet. That’s what I would have done, she doesn’t deserve any of our time and Scott just standing there is giving her the attention she wants.
“Well, I’m not here to see you. I’m here for Luke!” Her tone is dismissive, and it pisses me off, she’s got a sly smile on her face as if she’s implying that she’s here for a reason. I can’t believe that I slept with this woman let alone thought I was in love with her.
I look at her properly and wonder what the hell happened to the woman I knew five years ago? She used to be curvy in all the right places, she was a happy and healthy size 14, and she looked phenomenal, not one person could look at her and say she didn’t look sexy. She owned her figure, which only made her more attractive.
Alex had dark brown hair that she wore to her shoulders. She wouldn’t leave the house without making an effort. I don’t mean makeup, she didn’t need it, but she was dressed to the nines, and her hair was always styled.
Basically, she gave a fuck about what she looked like, she used to say, that if her hair and style is on point, even if she was having a crappy day, she could smile and fake that everything was perfect, because she looked the part. She was right, the way you dress can affect the way you are perceived.
This Alex, I don’t know who she is; she has lost weight and looks unhealthy, all her curves are gone, she must be at least a size 6 if not smaller. She let her hair grow out, and it’s now down below her breasts, she has had it dyed blonde, but her roots are showing, she looks like she gave up on herself. But the main thing that has changed is her attitude, whereas before she was a quiet yet confident young woman, she’s now vile and repulsive.
“Ha, I doubt Luke wants to see you. Thought I told you not to come back to New York? Did you forget?” Scott is a different person; I have never known him to speak this way to anyone, let alone a woman. I understand, though. Alex, she had plans to kidnap and hurt our sister Sophia; no-one hurts our family and gets away with it.
“I didn’t forget. You don’t own me, and you can’t tell me where I can and can’t go Scott. What I did to not just you, but to your family. It was wrong, and I hurt two people I cared about. I know that you will never believe me, but I really did care about you. I shouldn’t have done what I did and I’m truly sorry.” She doesn’t sound very sorry, she seems as though she was sorry she got caught.
Her face looks even less sorry than the tone of her voice. It just seems to me as if she’s after something. If that’s the case, she’s mastered manipulation.
“Please, you don’t care about anyone but yourself. Listen, Alex, nothing you say will ever make me believe that you never meant to cause harm to my family and I will never forgive you for what you did. I can safely say that my father and no doubt Sophia will say the exact same thing. As for Luke, well that is up to him, but you are not welcome in my home, so goodbye.” The lack of emotion as he says goodbye, makes Alex flinch and I can’t help but smile.
Scott walks away leaving Alex standing at the door as he walks towards his room, he throws a look at me that says everything. He trusts me to do what’s right, and I know that Alex is never in any plans I have.
I take a deep breath and walk towards the woman I once loved, or so I thought, however, looking back I know now that it wasn’t love, probably lust or infatuation. When I look at her, I feel nothing except hate and pity.
“There is no reason for you to be here Alex. I don’t even know why you think there is?” I tell her as soon as I reach the front door, no use in beating around the bush. I don’t want her to think I want her here because then I’d never be able to get rid of her.
I watch as the smile she had as I started to walk towards her falls, but she quickly recovers and replaces it with a fake one.
God, I seriously hate her.
“So, what’s the real reason you’re here Alex? Because that was complete bullshit you gave Scott.”
“Actually, when I told Scott that I was here for you, I wasn’t lying.” She’s batting her eyelashes at me.
Is she for real? God that is pathetic.
“You didn’t let me talk when I called you the other day. Look I really need to talk to you.”
“Maybe because you have nothing that I need to hear.”
I’m really sick of this now. I wish I could just go be with Morgan, she has a way of making me forget about all the stress and shit I have going on in my life.
“Yeah, I actually do. I really loved you, Luke. I still do. You are my biggest regret. I should never have done what I did. After everything happened, it made me realize that you are what I wanted. You were what mattered.” She actually sounds sincere. I don’t buy it, though.
“I’m here because I want you back.”
I can’t help it, I start laughing, and I know that I’ve hurt her, the look of pain filters through her eyes, she can’t hide it, just as I can’t help but laugh.
“I don’t want you back. Have you looked at yourself lately Alex? You’re a mess, and what you did to Scott and me, that’s debatable whether you meant to hurt us. What you planned on doing to my sister? That, now that is unforgivable and pure malice. So, there is no way on God’s green earth that I would ever get back together with you.”
I’m in shock that she has the nerve to even think I’d want to get back with her.
“I know I have a lot to make up for, I’m going to prove to you that I have changed.”
I can’t believe she even thinks that will help.
“I’ve had enough. It’s time for you to leave. Listen to me. Nothing, and I do mean nothing you can do will make me change my mind. There is no you and me, and there never will be.”
“I’ll go. But know this Luke, I will stop at nothing to get you back. We belong together, and I’m going to make sure that you see that.” With that, she turns away and walks off. I closed the door behind her and wonder what the fuck just happened.
Is she really that delusional to think that I would go back to her?
“Holy shit bro, that girl is crazy! She didn’t listen to you, I don’t think that’s the last you’ve seen of her.” Scott tells me as he walks into the sitting room.
“You’re telling me something I already know. I don’t know what to do to make her see I’m serious.”
“We could send Skye after her?”
Skye is our sister Sophia’s friend and colleague. She was in the same unit in the Army as Soph, they were held hostage while deployed and Soph was tortured while her comrades were tied up and looked on.
Since leaving the Army, the unit has started up a security and intelligence business. Ever since then, Skye is really protective of her.
I can’t help but smile at his suggestion.
“We know Skye will do whatever she can to protect Soph, but I don’t want anyone else involved in this. That’s all she wants, attention. I’m not going to give it to her. She’s been out of our lives the better part of
five years, and I haven’t missed her once.” I realize now with pure clarity that Alex was nothing more than a lust-filled relationship.
“Good, she doesn’t deserve any more of our time. It’s time we finally put that part of our lives to rest. She isn’t worth the negative thoughts you have about love and relationships.”
I smile at him. “Are you a mind reader now? I just thought that it wasn’t love I had with her.”
He nods in understanding. “So, does this mean that you do realize what you had with Morgan was? Are you going to go to her place and make her see that you are a fool?” He has a sly grin on his face, I hate that grin. He always has it whenever he thinks he has me figured out.
“No, I’m not. Look I do care about Morgan, she deserves better than maybes.” I see the understanding in his eyes.
That’s the thing about Scott, he understands me more than anyone else. We may not have the same blood flowing through our veins, but our bond is stronger than most blood relations. He’s my brother no matter what, always has been since Mom and Dad brought him home.
“Okay, I’ll leave it for now. Just think about this, though. What’s going to happen if you realize that she’s what you want, but she’s already moved on?” He doesn’t say anything else, he doesn’t need to. I walk into my bedroom knowing I have some things to think about.
The question is
Do I love Morgan?
Could I love her?
And if so how do I get her back?
Chapter Six
Six Weeks Later
Morgan
“He has some nerve. Who the hell does he think he is? I swear I could just kill him.” Sabine tells me for the tenth time in less than thirty minutes.
“Sim, what have I told you about saying things like that?” I say yet again, for the tenth time. We’re going around in circles, and it’s driving me crazy. I don’t want to deal with this right now. It’s been one hell of a day.
“Yes, I know, but seriously, no word from that jackass in six weeks. Six freaking weeks, then he calls you out of the blue wanting a favor. That favor involves his sister’s best friend, and he didn’t even warn you. Now he wants to talk, sorry it doesn’t work like that! The freaking jerk off!”
Sabine’s so worked up, she’s pacing and panting. If this weren't serious, I’d be recording this and putting it online. She’d go viral in seconds.
“I know, but his friend needed my help, and I’m glad he called. Seriously Sim, I became a cop to protect people, and Winter needs protecting. I can’t go into it, but trust me to do my job okay.” I love that she is so protective and I wouldn’t change her for the world, but sometimes she goes overboard. I really just want to go to bed and forget this day ever happened.
Luke’s sister’s best friend was raped a few years ago, and the asshole who attacked her has been keeping tabs on her and calling her with threats. She moved to freaking Maui to get away from him, and he called her, so she came back to New York to confront her fears. She’s one hell of a strong lady. She came to report him, I hope to God we find him and keep her safe, she’s been through enough.
“Okay fine, but don’t think that I haven’t noticed you keep ignoring the fact that he wants to talk. Please tell me you didn’t actually agree to it?” Her eyes are pleading with me, so I don’t look in her eyes as I tell her the truth. I don’t want to see the disappointment.
“He’s coming by here later on.” She sucks in a deep breath, and her hands fly to her hips.
“You didn’t. Oh, Moy, how could you?” She’s so shocked yet outraged.
“Because I still love him.” My confession is quiet, almost a whisper. I hate myself for still loving him, and I hate myself that I was so quick to agree to talk.
“Oh, Moy! Of course, you do.” I’m in her arms within seconds, she’s very motherly towards me. She always makes me feel better.
“Just because you love the jerk, doesn’t mean you can let him get away with not speaking to you in six weeks!” She pulls away, and yet again her fierce side comes out, she doesn’t want him to have the opportunity to hurt me again.
“I won’t, but I need to know what he wants to talk about. I’ve missed him so much. Sounds kind of pathetic saying it, we didn’t really have a relationship, it was just sex. Ugh, I’m so stupid, who falls in love with someone they just sleep with?” I hate second guessing myself, and I hate feeling whiney and needy. That is just not me.
“Maybe I should cancel. Leave things the way they are? I’m different Sim, and I don’t like it. It’s like I’m vulnerable and I don’t want to be.”
“Oh honey, being in love is one of the best feelings in the world, especially when you are loved back. Saying that, it also makes you vulnerable but that isn’t a bad thing, it means you’re human. You aren’t going to cancel, you owe it to yourself to see what he has to say, and you know deep down that if you left things as they are, you will always regret it. So, you put on your big girl panties and let him have his say, then you can get back to trying to move on. Missing him isn’t pathetic; you two saw each other every day. I’d say missing him is natural. So how did he look? I bet he still looks good!” The smile on her face says it all. She won’t leave me alone until I tell her.
I laugh, I love how she changes her mood so quickly. She’s so protective one minute and playful the next.
“He’s still hot, he hasn’t changed. He did look upset, but I wasn’t surprised with what was happening with Winter.”
“I still don’t get it, who is this Winter woman to him exactly? I mean you said she’s his sister’s best friend, but I get the impression from you that it’s more than that.” She’s like a physic, she knows everything, and even if she didn’t, she’d get to know everything.
“From what I gathered, she’s like his sister. Luke, Scott, and Sophia are all adopted. I found out was the Dallas’ are super close, and they have an unbreakable bond. The family is everything to them, so my take is Winter became part of the family while they were growing up.”
I actually admire their family, I know that blood isn’t always the best for you. My father didn’t want me around growing up, so having Sabine helped me survive and thrive to be the person I am today.
“Ah I get it, that’s good.” I see the relief in her eyes, and I realize that she thought Luke and Winter we’re intimate at some point.
“So, when is he coming over?”
I sigh, “I don’t know, today was rough on everyone, Luke lost a friend.” I was helpless, and it’s eating away at me, watching the grief that they all are going through guts me, I feel guilty, that I should have been there and been able to have stopped it.” The tears that I had kept locked up are now free-flowing.
“I couldn’t save him. I was already too late.” My legs give way, and for the second time in less than two months, I fall to the floor crying. Again, Sabine is there to catch me. We sit with her holding me for what feels like hours but probably only a few minutes.
Finally, the tears stop and I look at my best friend, and not for the first time in my life, I wonder how I was so lucky to have her in my life.
“Morgan honey, you can’t save everyone, and it’s not your fault. Just like your mom wasn’t your fault. Come on Moy, Luke might be here soon. Let’s get you off this floor.” She helps me up. I wipe the lingering tears away.
“You okay?” She says it with so much worry and love that I have to hold back the tears that spring to my eyes.
“What I mean is, are you going to be okay?”
“Yes, I’m going to be okay. I always am. Sometimes a good cry can help. Let it all out, you know cathartic and all.”
It’s true. Sometimes all you need is a good cry, and you’ll feel so much better. However, that isn’t the case this time. I’ll always feel guilty. I know that I’ll see the grief-stricken faces of Luke’s family and friends in my dreams. Those dreams never leave; in fact, I just seem to collect more and more faces along the way.
“What would I do
without you Sim.”
“You’ll never have to find out! You know that I’m here whenever you need me, whether it’s a shoulder to cry on or to sing bad versions of boy band hits with you!”
She has a huge smile on her face when she says that, she’s not lying either, whereas most people’s taste in music has evolved and they have an eclectic taste listening to all genres and decades - ours mainly stayed firmly with the boy bands of the late 90’s early 00’s.
“Just as I know that you are here if I ever need you, especially singing our favorite karaoke song.” And like that, she bursts into song, and I can’t help but follow her, N’Sync – Bye Bye Bye is the ultimate song. It’s one of those songs that no matter where you are as soon as you hear it, you’re singing and dancing along to it.
And just like that, I’m transported to my happy place. That’s all it takes, my best friend and some good old-fashioned N’Sync! We’re so busy singing and dancing that I didn’t notice the front door open.
“Damn, haven’t heard that in years, probably the best version I’ve ever heard mind you. What is it with women and boy bands anyway?” Both Sabine and I jump and spin around to find a smirking Luke standing against the counter in my kitchen watching us with a smile.
“Ever heard of knocking?” Sabine’s happiness is short-lived. She’s staring daggers at Luke, and she’s in her usual protective stance, standing just in front of me. She’s ready for a battle.
“Sorry, it’s a habit. I don’t knock when I come here.” Once Luke says it, I watch as a grimace comes over his face.
“Habit? You haven’t been here in six weeks.” Sabine is in full force right now. If I don’t get her out of my house soon, she’ll never leave, and she’ll continuously argue with him. That girl can argue with anyone. I don’t doubt she’d argue with herself.
“That’s enough. Sim, I love you from the bottom of my heart, but stop okay?”
Deadly Past Page 6