I lowered my head and I shut my eyes, no longer wanting to see the darkness. My duty was to guard the orb and prevent another from using its power, from abusing it and seeking a way to destroy the gods. But I failed, and Baladon had been able to kidnap one god after another, until he had the majority of them in his grasp. The familiar guilt welled within me, and I frowned at the lump suddenly in my throat, making it hard to speak, or swallow.
That’s it, feel their pain. You heard their cries, felt each time one of them was completely drained of their life, their power… you remember their deaths, and you will until the end of time, until Baladon finally comes for you… finishes you off…
“Mori?”
“Sorry, it’s just… the night he came, we weren’t prepared. He and his monsters, spiders as large as bears and a basilisk that shot through the stone columns like an arrow seeking out its prey. They killed my guards. Ones who had been with me since the beginning of my time as the gatekeeper,” I whispered, my heart aching as their deaths hit me again. “Close friends I could not save.”
“I’m sure they don’t blame you for their deaths.”
“They should.” The words came out bitter, and a rush of hatred toward Baladon threatened to consume me. My starlight flared brightly before I reeled it back in and took a deep breath to calm myself. I expected Forrest to back away, but instead, he moved closer. “That maze was created to stop anyone from getting too close, but Baladon, he had no hesitation in finding his way through. He slaughtered my guards, and when he finally entered the temple…”
“You don’t have to speak of it if you don’t want to, not yet,” he assured me. “But holding it all inside will only do you harm in the end. Trust me.”
I wanted to say I did, but bit back the words. He had a good heart, this dragon, and he cared for his people. He risked his life to rescue me and the other gods, and he was out here now trying to comfort me. Why? I tried to tell Agaris I deserved no sympathy from anyone for my part in this tale, but she too had sought to bring me relief from my pain instead of letting me wallow in it. This was what I deserved, to be alone, to suffer.
The suffering’s only starting… you’ll turn… you’ll turn on this dragon you care for so deeply… it will be your hand that destroys him…
My hands gripped the stone railing so hard, it began to crumble beneath my grip. I felt Forrest’s eyes on me and stopped myself from destroying it completely. I expected him to call me out for harboring the darkness within me, but he said nothing. That was almost worse. What was he thinking? Did he trust me? Or did he sense how close to the edge I was?
“I’d been chained to that wall for years,” I told him, and his jaw clenched in anger as a low rumble echoed from his chest. “Before that, he kept me locked in a cage in my own temple, unable to escape to warn the others.”
I blinked and was suddenly back in that cage as he found ways to cause me pain. He hadn’t been able to use the orb. No one could, except the creator, and that was me. But even a star can only take so much pain before it’s easier to simply give in. I’d told him how to use it, gave him that power, gave him the weapon he needed to get to the gods and tear them down.
Tears slipped down my cheeks suddenly, but I didn’t wipe them away. Forrest’s hand cupped my cheek softly, his thumb catching each one.
“I don’t cry,” I murmured a bit surprised, leaning into that gentle touch. “Not usually.”
“Usually I’m sure you don’t ever leave your realm,” he whispered. “Emotions like this are normal these days. The anger, the fear, the sadness.”
I sniffed hard and tried to smile but failed. “If I had held strong, none of this would have happened,” I confessed, wanting him to see how horrible of a monster I was.
“Yes, it would have.”
“How do you know that?” I asked, studying his vivid blue eyes, so full of life and compassion, and bitterness for the war he found himself in.
“Because Baladon is evil and sooner or later, evil will always find its way in.”
“The gods should have banished me for what I’ve done.” I pulled away from his touch, no longer feeling worthy of his kindness. “That orb, he still has it. He will continue to use it and destroy the realms of the gods until there’s nowhere they can run. Then he will kill them all… he’ll kill me.”
Or capture me and use what power I had left for some other dark purpose.
“I won’t let that happen,” he swore fiercely.
As much as his words touched me, I couldn’t let Forrest put himself on the line for me. He saved my life once already, and we were two strangers. And I… I was on the verge of becoming a threat to them, more than an ally. I could not stay around him for long. That was what I told myself, but the longer he stared at me, the more I failed to ignore the strange sense of knowing this dragon as if we’d met a very long time ago. As if we’d known each other for centuries instead of only several days. I was drawn to him, and my instincts told me he was important to me, but how could that be so? The gods, I prayed silently they would call me back to them soon, and I would have to leave him behind. Leave all of this behind. The era of the gods was coming to an end, and that included me.
But no, that wasn’t the truth, at least not the whole of it.
After the sins I committed, I did not deserve happiness.
No, no, you do not, and no one can save you. Not even this pathetic excuse for a king…
“Is this your first time amongst the races?” he asked, clearly trying to change the subject.
“It is, though I have watched over you all from the night sky. I have seen the wars that have already ravaged this land, but what Baladon brings, this will be the last. A war to end all wars,” I breathed. “So much death and destruction. It’s all he wants, and if we cannot stop him, he will win.”
I should have been proclaiming we just needed to hold onto hope and have faith, but how could I do that when my own fear squashed what little hope I had that we could stop Baladon. That any good would come of so much hate and evil. Forrest opened his mouth to speak again, but my mind was a tangled web of thoughts and my emotions raw from the past few days. We’d lost many of our numbers, and it was only going to get worse. Already had, if the gods held by Baladon were going to start turning on their own.
I pressed my hand to Forrest’s forehead in one smooth move, and he stilled. A serene look came over him, and he yawned.
“Sleep, King Forrest,” I told him softly. “Sleep.”
His eyes fluttered, and he backed away from me, turned, and walked back inside the castle, finding his way to his bed.
I envied him, wishing I could close my eyes for a few hours to sleep. Forget about what happened. But after being trapped with Baladon for so long, I doubted my dreams would contain anything, but nightmares. I stared skyward again, my godly vision allowing me to push beyond the heavy darkness to the shining stars winking down at me. The moon was full and would’ve shone brightly over the land. Would we get to see it again?
I shut my eyes, listening intently to see if I sensed anything from my family.
Nothing. Utter silence. What if more turned?
Thorne… or Agaris? She said it herself she sensed the tendrils still clutching at her. If they turned, then we hadn’t saved them from their fate.
We only made it worse and helped Baladon move forward with his plans.
When I sensed the moon sink below the horizon, I found my way to the main hall to wait for the rest of the castle to awaken. One by one, shifters ventured in. Breakfast was being cooked in the kitchens through another set of doors. Coffee and tea were prepared, and all who entered smiled politely at me. I returned the gesture, anxiously waiting to see one face in particular. Thinking of him for the remainder of the night kept the voice at bay, for the most part. And though I hadn’t slept, I felt slightly better.
Cheerful laughter had me turning to discover Sabella arm in arm with Tristan. He leaned in and kissed her sweetly as they found their way
to the table and sat down across from me.
“Mori, good morning,” Sabella said brightly. “Did you rest well?”
“As well as one who does not sleep can.”
“You don’t sleep?” Tristan asked, thanking the shifter who set a plate laden with cooked meat before him. “Not at all?”
“No, no I don’t, but I’m recovering, thank you.”
“No news from the gods after what happened?” Tristan asked.
I shook my head.
“Damn.”
“They may not be able to if they’re on the run between realms,” I informed them, forcing hope into my words, though I didn’t feel any. “I’m sure they’ll be fine.”
Neither looked ready to believe it, and I mentally yelled at myself to be more convincing next time. I was meant to be a symbol of faith and light, a burning beacon to guide the way. I felt nothing of the sort, nothing, but an empty shell filled with bitterness and rage. And a stirring need for revenge.
Sabella poured coffee into two mugs, sliding one to Tristan. He kissed the back of her hand, and she leaned into him. I watched them as he cut his steak and began to devour it, offering her bites now and then. They teased each other and laughed more. It was fascinating to be so close to two people who admired each other. No, loved each other so fiercely and openly.
I pictured two different people across from me as I continued to be drawn in by their actions. Forrest and myself instead of them. The strangest sensation of want and loneliness struck me hard, and I flinched when Sabella’s gaze met mine, breaking the strange illusion.
She frowned, and I looked away, realizing staring was probably considered rude to mortals.
“Mori? Are you sure you’re alright?” Sabella asked, worried.
“Yes, quite. I’m sorry if I was being rude. I’m not used to being around anyone, not anymore.”
My words sucked the happiness from the moment, and I wished I hadn’t said anything.
“How long were you with Baladon?” Tristan finished his meal and pushed the plate aside to hug his mug of coffee in his hands.
“Decades,” I muttered harshly. “But before that, I was usually alone, except for my guards.”
“And your home was the stone maze?”
“It was,” I replied to Sabella. “It was once a garden amongst the stones. A maze, but beautiful, and filled with life until he stole it from me. He stole everything from me.”
They both stared at me with concern, but neither said anything. More voices sounded behind me, and Kate and Craig appeared next, speaking quietly to each other as they took seats beside Tristan and Sabella. More shifters arrived, a witch, a sorcerer, a few dragons, and so many more, but there was no sign of Forrest. Not that I needed him to be here because of what occurred last night. But he was the king of dragons, and it was important all the leaders heard what I had to say.
Drake and Ashan would be arriving in a few days, and the others would have to share what they decided to do. I had no say in their final decision, and part of me whispered that I wouldn’t be here anyway. Though why that was the case, I wasn’t certain. Unless the gods called to me, I was trapped in the realms.
Craig eyed the doorway behind me, whispering to Kate who shrugged in turn. “Has anyone seen Forrest this morning?”
“No, not yet, but I heard from Boris he was wandering the castle last night. Couldn’t sleep.”
Sabella and Kate glanced at each other, but whatever they expressed in that silent moment was lost on me.
“I spoke with him,” I said casually, and all sets of eyes turned to me. “We talked for a time, but I sensed his need for rest and may have aided him in that. It could still be wearing off. My powers are a bit on the unsteady side from so long in captivity.”
“Craig, go check on him,” Kate said, nudging him.
He kissed the top of her head before he left the table to go find Forrest. I hadn’t meant to make him sleep so late, but if he was, his mind and his body needed the break more than he seemed to realize.
Talk resumed around the table, and I contented myself with studying the tapestries hanging along the walls, depicting many scenes from this race’s history. A history I remembered. Glorious days when the packs were strong, and the land was not being overrun by creatures from the abyss. Sabella and Kate had scooted closer together again. Tristan appeared to be trying to eavesdrop, but Sabella waved him off, and he grunted in annoyance.
A second later, his whole demeanor changed. He stiffened and turned to Sabella in time to catch her sagging body in her chair. He said something close to her ear and her eyes glazed over as her head fell back.
“Sabella?” he whispered. “What do you see, Red?”
Her lips parted, and a hush fell over the hall as words spilled from her mouth. “Silence, all will be silence. They are coming, coming from the depths of the abyss. Four who bring our doom, four who cannot be killed. Silence…” She choked, and Tristan’s hands tightened around her securely as she shook her head and shuddered. “Damn.”
“Take a deep breath,” he instructed, and she did as he said, and he was breathing with her. “Did you see anything?”
She nodded and after taking a few sips of her coffee, relayed her vision. “Four figures cloaked and hooded. But they weren’t walking. They were hovering? Floating? I don’t know, but they made this horrible sound.”
“Worse than the bone whip on stone?”
“Worse, much worse.” She leaned against him, taking his strength and a sharp jolt of jealousy stabbed me in the chest. “And here I thought we’d have a few days off.” Tristan laughed warmly with her as they held each other close.
“You knew she was getting a vision,” I blurted, louder than I meant to.
Tristan bowed his head. “I did.”
“How?”
He shrugged one shoulder as he stared lovingly down at her. “I guess when you finally accept the love between yourself and the person you’re meant to be with, anything is possible. I’m just glad you remember who you are.” He directed the last to Sabella.
“That won’t be a problem anymore, trust me.”
“That is a very strong connection,” I pointed out. “You two are very lucky to have found one another.”
Sabella opened her mouth, but her eyes darted behind me, and the moment I heard Forrest’s voice, I caught myself smiling. Then I felt Sabella watching me and cleared my throat, forcing my face blank again.
“Sorry I’m late,” Forrest said and took the chair beside me. “What did I miss?”
“Nothing yet. Breakfast?” Kate slid him a plate.
He dug into it, mumbling thanks in between bites.
Kate watched him. “You sleep okay? Heard you were up and about at all hours.”
He paused mid-chew and growled, smoke trickling out of his nose. I chuckled quietly, and he turned that bright blue gaze to me for just a second before he finished eating and drained a steaming cup of coffee, not answering Kate’s question, but his glare at her was loud enough. They stared each other down, Kate’s brow arching as Craig rolled his eyes and told them to stop acting like children.
“Why don’t we move to a quieter setting?” Tristan suggested and led the way from the hall.
Forrest stood when I did, and we bumped into each other. “Sorry,” he said as he caught my arm, steadying me. “I’m a bit clumsy in the morning.”
“Understandable, when you stay up all night speaking to a star. And when that star helps ease you into a very deep slumber.” I expected him to hold it against me, using my magic on him.
Instead, his lips twitched in a smile, but then he motioned for me to go ahead of him. He waited for Craig and Tristan, leaving me to walk alone for a few moments before Sabella and Kate were beside me.
“You know,” Kate said with a grin, “Forrest is quite the exceptional dragon.”
“Yes, I know,” I agreed quietly. “He risked much to save me and the others.”
“Mostly you,” Sabella chimed i
n.
“What do you mean by that? He came to save the gods?”
“Eh,” she said, “yes and no. He dreamt of you, and when he learned who you were, he went in looking for you.”
“Why would he do that?” What was she trying to tell me? I knew of Forrest’s dreams, but he had gone to rescue all the gods. Why would he only want to save me? “I’m just the gatekeeper. I’m no one to him.”
“You sure about that?” she pushed.
“Because we’re pretty sure that’s not true,” Kate added.
But then we were in a smaller room, and they walked away from me, talking quietly together again as they took their seats at a round table. My feet stilled, running over their words again and again. Forrest had saved more than just me that day. I remembered the look on his face when he had found me, though. The anger in his eyes would’ve been enough to burn skin. He’d carried me in his arms, held me close, protected me until we were safe.
You’ll only hurt him in the end, and you know it… don’t get too close… it can never happen…
“Mori?”
I jumped at the sound of Forrest’s voice right behind me, tearing me from the whispering voice in my head.
“Sorry, didn’t mean to startle you.”
“You didn’t, I mean I just… it’s been a long few days, and I’m not exactly myself,” I rambled.
I never rambled. I never had emotions like these. First, the raw anger that burned with a fury inside me and now this… this clawing need? And jealousy. I was never jealous! I needed to leave this realm before I was consumed by the rampant rush of feelings I didn’t know what to do with. But there was no way out for me, not that I could see just yet. I quickly took a seat at the table and was disappointed when Forrest chose to stand, across the room, as if trying to put distance between us.
Good, that was good. Distance was what we needed. Perhaps it would help with my sudden confusion. The witch and sorcerer joined us and introduced themselves to me as Lucy and Greyson before they too took their seats.
“First, if you please, can you tell us more about this orb?” Lucy asked. “We saw the carvings at the temple and within the maze, but had a hard time discerning their true meaning.”
Stars (Dragon Reign Book 8) Page 6