Kids by Christmas

by Janice Kay Johnson

  “You thought that might happen to you, too?”

  Suddenly sobbing, she flung herself against Suzanne and held on hard. Suzanne cried, held her and murmured, “I am so glad I found you. So glad,” over and over.

  Finally, Sophia drew back, her face wet, her eyes swollen and her nose running. “I got snot all over you. I’m sorry!”

  Suzanne reached for more tissues and laughed. “Oh, sweetie, it’s okay!”

  The ten-year-old blew her nose hard. “Can we still go shopping?”

  “Of course we can!” She smiled despite the fact that her face probably looked awful, too. “And we’re going to have fun, aren’t we?”

  “Yeah. I guess Mom wouldn’t mind.”

  Suzanne squeezed her hand one more time. “I know she wouldn’t.”

  They did have fun. Suzanne was disconcerted to find that, with Sophia’s height and figure, they had to shop in the junior department rather than the children’s, but the clothes were cute if a whole lot sexier than she was comfortable with a ten-year-old wearing. She was relieved to find that Sophia didn’t especially want skintight jeans or T-shirts, and they were able to find some that looked stylish without making her look sixteen. Choosing a dress for her to wear to Gary and Rebecca’s wedding the next Saturday took longer, but at the third store they found one they both liked. They also bought a couple of bras, pajamas and socks, as well as two pairs of jeans, a pile of sweatshirts and shirts and a wedding outfit for Jack.

  “I’m going to have to take him shopping for shoes,” Suzanne said. “Oh, well. He’d be bored to death today, wouldn’t he?”

  Carrying two bags, Sophia nodded. “He’d be whining, ‘Aren’t we be done?’”

  “You bored yet?”

  “No! Do I get shoes, too?”

  Looking down at the tattered sneakers, Suzanne said, “Yes, you do.”

  They bought running shoes, sandals with a wedge heel to go with the dress and a pair of stylish boots to wear under jeans, then called it a day.

  Suzanne drove up their block to the sight of Jack pedaling down the street with Tom trotting along holding him up. Her heart gave a bump in her chest, and she almost laughed at herself. Give her a man who was great with kids any day. As far as she was concerned, Tom could forget the chocolates and flowers if he never disappointed Jack or Sophia.

  Sophia giggled. “He looks funny, doesn’t he?”

  “You mean Tom?” Suzanne said, trying to sound nonchalant. “Actually, I think he looks sweet.”

  “Are you going to marry him?” Sophia asked.

  They both waved at Jack and Tom, then Suzanne turned into the driveway. “What makes you think I’m going to marry him?”

  “I saw you kiss him last night.”

  Suzanne lifted her brows. “How could you have?”

  “I sneaked down the hall. ’Cause you were talking, and then it got really quiet.” She grinned. “And you were smooching.”

  So much for sneaking around.

  “You shouldn’t spy on people, you know.”

  “I like to know things.”

  Suzanne considered and rejected the idea of lecturing about privacy. Instead, she asked, “Would you mind?”

  Momentarily hesitant, Sophia said, “He’d…well, want us, right?”

  Suzanne smiled. “What do you think?”

  “Yeah, because he’s really nice.” Her face worked as she thought. “I guess it would be okay,” she finally decided. “Jack especially likes him.”

  “I noticed. It’s important for a boy to have a role model.”

  “So, are you?”

  “We haven’t gotten to that point,” Suzanne said, a little primly. “So promise me you don’t say anything. But…I hope we do.”

  “Yeah! If you do, do I get to be part of the wedding? With a fancy dress and everything?”

  “I promise, if I ever get married you will definitely be part of the wedding. Both of you,” she said firmly. “Now promise. That includes Jack. You didn’t tell him about the kissing, did you?”

  “Not yet. How come I can’t tell him?”

  “Because I don’t want him disappointed if Tom and I decide we don’t want to get married.”

  “Oh.” Sophia thought. “Okay.”

  Suzanne fixed a stern look on her face. “Cross your heart…”

  She rolled her eyes. “Hope to die. I promise!”

  “Thank you. Now let’s carry your loot in.”

  Jack was pushing the bike up the driveway, Tom right behind him, when they got out.

  “I almost told Tom to let go,” he said excitedly. “’Cept I wasn’t sure.”

  “Today was your first time ever on a bike.” Suzanne hugged him and smiled over his head at Tom. “You haven’t been riding ever since we left, have you?”

  “Nope,” Jack said, tilting his head back to look up at her with sparkling eyes. “I helped paint, too. And we watched football and had pie.”

  “Peach pie,” Tom murmured.

  “I can stay awake tonight. Right?”

  “I don’t see why not.”

  He peered into the trunk of the car. “Boy, you bought a lot of stuff.”

  “Some of which is for you. In fact, I’d like you to try it all on now.”

  His eyes widened, and his voice rose to a whine. “Do I hafta try everything on?”

  “Yes, you do. How else will I know if I bought the right sizes?”

  His shoulders sagged.

  Tom clapped him on the back. “You’re on your own, big guy. The second half of that bowl game is starting.”

  “No fair! I was watching, too. Can I…?”

  Suzanne grinned at him. “Not a chance. Here, you help carry, too.”

  Sophia was already laden and heading for the open garage.

  Suzanne loaded Jack and sent him off, then turned to Tom. “Thank you. We had a great time.”

  He smiled at her. “We did, too.”

  “Sophia saw us ‘smooching’ last night. She sneaked down the hall.”

  He laughed. “Told you. No way you can keep a secret from that girl.”

  “But we didn’t even make it twenty-four hours!”

  “Just think,” he said. “When she’s sixteen and trying to make out with some boy in the driveway, you can return the favor.”

  An involuntary shudder racked her body.

  Tom laughed harder. “This is going to be fun.”

  She punched him in the arm. “Hey, I haven’t had ten years to get used to the idea of having a teenager! Give me a break.”

  “Don’t worry, I’ll pop out of my house as soon as I hear her boyfriend’s junker pull into your driveway and escort her to the front door.”

  He’d pop out of his house? Was that how he saw them six years from now? Still sneaking kisses and probably a whole lot more?

  Hiding her dismay, Suzanne laughed, then agreed on what time he’d come over for their New Year’s Eve party before grabbing the last bags and heading into the garage herself. Tom pulled it closed behind her.

  She took the bags to Jack’s room and insisted he try the new clothes on now.

  “Yes, this very minute,” she repeated, after the third protest.

  On the surface, she approved the clothes he tried on, stuffed one shirt that needed to be returned back in the bag, and told him he looked handsome in the khaki slacks and button-down shirt she’d chosen for the wedding. Inside, she kept reexamining Tom’s teasing remark, trying to decide if she was taking it way too literally. And too seriously.

  He probably hadn’t meant anything by it. Anyway, he could hardly say, Since we’ll be married, I’ll deal with Sophia’s boyfriends.

  On the other hand… Maybe she’d been making some big assumptions. He’d kissed her, and said he wanted her and he wanted her to be happy, but they hadn’t talked about the future at all beyond the whole sneaking-around idea. He had, after all, reached the age of thirty-five without ever getting married. Maybe he was perfectly happy single. Okay, so he’d impli
ed that he was lonely; maybe he just wanted dinner invitations and to have her in his bed for a not-so-quickie on occasion. Maybe the whole idea of permanently taking on a messy woman and noisy children held zilch appeal.

  If that was true, she couldn’t even get mad at him. She was the one who’d made a huge leap from a first kiss to their inevitable wedding. She’d done that partly because he seemed to like the kids so much, but marriage did not necessarily follow.

  By the time Sophia twirled into Jack’s bedroom to show off her dress, Suzanne had convinced herself that she was looking too far ahead, considering that Tom and she had kissed for the first time just yesterday.

  Tom came over at six, and they had a fun evening watching the celebration in Times Square on TV, eating pizza and then cobbler and drinking pop. Jack was sleepy by the time midnight arrived Eastern standard time, and Tom carried him to bed half an hour later, teeth unbrushed.

  Then Tom sheepishly produced an unopened Seattle edition Monopoly game someone had given him a couple of years before, and the three of them played until the fireworks burst from the Space Needle on TV.

  After tucking Sophia in, Suzanne returned to the living room for a private celebration before going to bed in the wee hours.

  She couldn’t remember a better beginning to a new year.

  The next evening at dinner, she said, “Just think, school tomorrow.”

  The previous week she’d looked up the school district on the Internet and studied the boundary lines, so she knew which school they would be going to. She also knew that most of the elementary schools were K-6, thank goodness. Sophia would have another year there before moving on to the middle school.

  Once Suzanne had tucked both kids in and was sitting down to pay bills her phone rang.

  “Any chance you want to sneak around right now?” Tom asked.

  She gave a choked laugh. “How far do I have to sneak?”

  “Your front porch?”

  “It’s cold!”

  “Not too cold for a good-night kiss,” he coaxed.

  “Let me find my slippers and put on a coat.”

  “Deal.”

  Two minutes later, she unlocked and stepped out onto the dark porch to find Tom already waiting.

  A little light fell from the living-room window, but without the porch light on he was mostly a dark hulk.

  “Hey,” he said softly. He must have kept his hands in his pockets because they were warm when he cupped her face. “I missed you.”

  “I missed you, too,” she admitted, a tiny bit dismayed to realize it was true. Despite her resolve to enjoy being a mom on her own the way she’d intended, she’d kept thinking, I’ll have to tell Tom what Sophia said, or her gaze would stray to the place at the table she’d started to think of as his, or the laugh at Jack’s knock-knock joke would seem thin without Tom’s heartier guffaw.

  “I’m here now,” he murmured, and bent to capture her mouth.

  The kiss was sweet and sensual, and Suzanne lost herself in it despite her qualms. He was warm and solid, and awfully skilled with his lips and tongue and hands for a man who claimed to be surprised she’d be attracted to him.

  “You’re a fraud,” she said when she came up for air.

  “Huh?” He nipped her earlobe.

  “All those things you said about having an ugly mug. You wouldn’t be so good at kissing if plenty of women hadn’t thought your face was handsome.”

  Voice a pleased rumble, he said, “So, I’m good at kissing, huh?”

  Breathless, Suzanne tilted her head back to let him explore her neck. “Tut-tut. You’re sounding like Jack, angling to hear every compliment twice.”

  “A man’s got to take it where he can get it.” He trailed kisses up her throat, nuzzled her chin and hovered above her mouth. “So, if it wasn’t a compliment, what was the point?”

  “Women have not been lacking in your past.”

  “There are a lot of single women at Boeing. Not so many single guys my age.”

  “Don’t sound so smug.”

  He chuckled, his chest vibrating under her hands. “I’m kissing you, not my co-workers.”

  “Mm. That’s true.”

  And she enjoyed every minute.

  By the time Suzanne slipped back inside and locked up again, she had no interest in the unpaid bills. Heck, maybe she’d just go to bed and dream.

  She’d turned out lights and was on her way down the hall when Sophia’s sleepy voice came from her room.

  “Smooching again?”

  “Nosy.”

  Sophia’s giggle followed her to bed, where Suzanne lay wondering about Tom’s past relationships. Eventually she relaxed and decided they didn’t matter. Of course at his age he’d had some, maybe serious. But they had plenty of time to talk about things like that.

  MAYBE GOOD-NIGHT KISSES weren’t such a good idea. Tom groaned and rolled over in bed. Damn it, he wanted Suzanne in bed with him.

  But he knew darn well Suzanne wouldn’t invite him into her bed with the kids down the hall, and they weren’t old enough to leave by themselves.

  There was, of course, a legitimate way for him to share her bed, but he was afraid to rush her. Despite the fact that they’d known each other for five years, their relationship was already moving fast.

  So fast, it had been all he could do despite the cold not to start ripping her clothes off on her front porch. So fast that, despite the fact that they’d hardly talked until six weeks ago, he knew most of her worries and the things that had made her sad in her life as well as the ones that made her smile. They’d spent Christmas together, New Year’s together. He’d baked cookies with the kids, had a part in furnishing their rooms, was helping Jack learn to ride his bike. He thought the kids had accepted him already as part of their lives. And Suzanne was the kind of woman who would be thinking about marriage, because she was unlikely to be interested in a casual sexual relationship.

  But that had to scare the crap out of her. The fact that she’d dated so little in the two years since her divorce was telling. Tom had wondered about that, until he’d found out that she’d had literally no experience with men before the crud she’d married. No frame of reference. Nothing to make her want to try again. Clearly, she’d had no interest in husband-hunting.

  He’d ambled into her life through a side door, so to speak. And he’d obviously met her primary criteria, which was being good father material.

  But whether she was anywhere close to ready to think about marriage in anything but a gee, this might head there down the line way, he had no idea. He was hoping to bring her around to his way of thinking a little more quickly than down the line. In the meantime, it looked as if he was going to suffer one hell of a lot of sexual frustration.

  Of course, her brother’s wedding might bring the topic of marriage to mind. He’d received an invitation in the mail Friday. It was taking place this coming Saturday. Presumably Gary or Rebecca had asked Suzanne if she’d like Tom to escort her, and also presumably she’d said yes. That was a good sign, wasn’t it?

  Strange that, of all people, he felt so ready to take the plunge. Maybe even stranger, when he thought about it, that he’d always assumed he would someday. Remembering the chill between his parents should have been enough to put him off the whole institution.

  But in a hazy way, Tom knew things had been better before Jessie had died. When memories flicked into his mind, he immediately classified them as Before or After. Considering he’d been eight when she’d got sick and ten when she’d died, he should have more clear Before memories than he did. He could conjure enough, though, to know that things had once been different. His father had still been a stern taskmaster; Tom remembered scrubbing floors on his hands and knees when he couldn’t have been more than six or seven because he’d made a mess. But they’d had fun as a family, too, and Tom’s mother had been softer. His father would kiss his mother goodbye before he left for work, sometimes lay an arm around her shoulders when they watched TV in the
darkened living room, caress her casually in passing. And Tom did remember how much he’d liked having a sister. Jessie had looked up to him, followed him around, had been willing to play whatever role he’d wanted her to in whatever game he’d chosen.

  So he guessed that was when he’d formed the default opinion that when he grew up, he’d get married and have kids. But maybe it was the After that had tripped him up when he got close. He knew how bad it could get, and he’d wanted to be absolutely sure that he and the woman he married would never end up hating each other because grief—or something else unforeseen—had torn them apart.

  For the first time in his life, with Suzanne, he was sure—if only about his part. He’d always been attracted to her, of course, and was still in awe at the way she returned his kisses. But that was only the beginning. He’d fallen in love with the woman he saw beneath the delicate and beautiful surface; with the Suzanne who was vulnerable, gentle, stronger than she knew, determined and possessing of an extraordinary ability to love.

  Staring up at the dark ceiling, his body more relaxed but no closer to sleep than ever, Tom thought, And there’s the real question.

  Suzanne enjoyed his kisses; she trusted him with the kids; she relied on him, she thought he was a nice man. All of which might incline her toward marriage.

  But had he really touched her heart?

  Maybe, he thought, he shouldn’t push for marriage. To get them through the years to come, any couple had to have something special. Liking, physical attraction, convenience, those were the kinds of things that could sour.

  He was sure, but he needed to be equally sure that she felt the same. And right now…Tom didn’t think she did.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  OUTSIDE THE CLOSED CLASSROOM door, Suzanne hugged Jack and whispered, “I hope Ms. Lopez is the best teacher you’ve ever had,” then gently set him away from her.

  Eyes wide and scared, he looked incredibly cute and brave when he squared his shoulders and marched through the door the vice principal opened.

  She smiled at Suzanne, said, “He’ll love Ms. Lopez, I promise,” and went in after Jack. Once inside, she announced, “Class, I’d like you to meet a new student.”