Love after Marriage

by Chandra, Bhagya

  Deepak acknowledged his brother’s comment. He was apprehensive of this arranged marriage formality but was satisfied that this made Sashank bhaiya cheerful.

  ~ ~ ~

  At the breakfast table, Prashant asked, “Roshni, did you think about the alliance? Do you like Deepak?”

  “Babuji, he seems like a nice person…but let’s wait for him to respond first,” she said and left for work.

  Prashant did not pressure her.

  Prashant received a call that evening from Sashank, informing him of Deepak’s approval for this alliance, and wanting to find out Roshni’s opinion. Roshni returned from work at this time and noticed her father in a joyful mood, and she assumed the call was from Sashank bhaiya. Prashant talked with Roshni, and she also gave her agreement to marry Deepak. Prashant was ecstatic and hugged her; he reassured her that everything would be all right.

  In less than half an hour, Prashant called Sashank and informed him that Roshni also approved, and both the elders immediately started preparations for the marriage. Deepak and Roshni overheard them confirm December 14th as the date, as they had planned before. They listened with awe; the extent of planning that was done prior to their meeting was unbelievable!

  Kusum helped Prashant with wedding clothes and jewelry for Roshni, while Prashant made arrangements for the hall, mandap, food, guest list and decorations. Sashank was busy with the guest list and shopping for Deepak. He accepted Kaki’s help in selecting jewelry and saris for Roshni.

  All wedding preparations were done in a short period of time. Everybody was jubilant, with a lot of excitement in the air.

  Chapter 4

  Deepak and Roshni’s Wedding

  Wedding Day, December 14th

  The baraat reached the venue on time, with the band and other paraphernalia. The car that brought Deepak was decorated with flowers. Deepak looked very handsome; he wore a dark, chocolate-colored sherwani – a long coat-like robe of weddings – and white pyjama and the pagari. He looked around and saw friends and guests, old and young alike, dancing to the music. Sashank, Akash and other friends and family were greeted by Prashant and his family. Sashank and Prashant hugged and were very happy about this alliance, and introduced their family and friends to each other. The bride’s party was curious to see the groom, and Deepak held himself with grace and dignity, shoulders squared and feet planted firmly. He nodded graciously, acknowledging the guests.

  Prashant took this opportunity to introduce Kusum to Sashank, Akash and Deepak as his ‘sister’. After greeting the groom and family, Kusum left to attend to Roshni. Sashank enquired about Kusum, as he’d never seen her before. Prashant provided some details about Kusum: she was a social worker and helped him with the orphanage; they had a brother-sister relationship; and Roshni and Kusum were very good friends.

  The whole wedding hall was decorated with various colored flowers, flower patterns and colored lights. Women were all dressed up, with heavy silk and brocade saris and jewelry; men were dressed in pagaris, sherwanis and churidar pyjamas; little girls were dressed in lehenga and cholis; and young boys were dressed in silk-embroidered kurta pyjamas. The loud band played popular Indian film songs; some youngsters were dancing to the music. Guests who had not met in a long time chatted and caught up with their gossip. A whole variety of sweets – laddus, burfis and jalebis – were being served all day. It was a festive atmosphere everywhere. The lunch was an exotic menu with several dishes. The delicious smell of fresh food spread in the air, enticing the guests, and each guest found their favorite dishes among the selection. Of course, chai was being served hot all day long.

  Roshni was dressed as a bride with a traditional outfit – heavy golden zari-embroidered lehenga and choli (long skirt and a blouse), with a veil draped over her face. With all the jewelry decorating her neck and hands, she looked absolutely beautiful in her wedding attire. Her hands and feet were patterned with intricate designs of mehndi (henna).

  Prashant requested to talk to Roshni in private lest he may not find time later. Roshni agreed but wondered if all was well. Prashant nodded his head that everything was all right. He took her to his room and locked the door. He continued by saying that all this should be done by a mother, but since her mother had passed away, it was his responsibility to give her some advice.

  Roshni hugged her father, she would be leaving her babuji’s house soon, and this thought made her sad. The tears blurred her vision, and she waited for her father to speak.

  Prashant wiped his daughter’s tears. “Roshni bete, very soon you will become a wife to Deepak and a daughter-in-law to Sashank. Always keep in mind that life is full of compromises, and you, as a new member in the family, you will have to take the initiative to understand and compromise. You will have to be very caring and loving towards all.” He stroked her hair gently. “Once you do this, your husband and other family members will reciprocate. There should not be any room for arrogance and stubbornness.”

  He hugged her. “And I have no doubts that Sashank, Akash and Deepak will keep you happy, but be mindful of them, take care of them, quickly adapt to their family traditions, and you will always be happy.”

  His emotions were mixed – he felt lighter for having found a suitable groom for his daughter, but deep within, he felt the pain…the pain that his daughter was moving away from him, the thought that she would no longer live with him. Fear and anxiety captured him.

  Roshni listened silently, nodding occasionally, and tried to make sense of all of her father’s advice.

  A few moments later, Prashant continued, “I have a request, Roshni.”

  Roshni was a little puzzled. She looked at her father and waited in silence.

  “Will you promise me something?”

  Of course, Roshni had no clue what her father asked of her. She was confused. Do I promise or not? She gathered some courage. “Babuji, please tell me, what is your request?”

  Prashant looked at his daughter very affectionately. “Roshni bete, I have told you everything about Sashank and his brothers. Their past experiences left a scar on them. Sashank, even today, blames that woman for his father’s death. I don’t think he has forgiven her or his older brother for this.”

  He sighed. “Whatever happened has happened. When it comes to respecting women, he still has his reservations. The same thing is true with Akash; he saw Sashank struggle for him and Deepak when there was no elder to support them. Deepak was too young and may not remember much other than what he has been told by Sashank or Akash.”

  He placed his hand on her shoulder. “I want you to promise me that with your love and affection, and your exemplary behavior, you will try to change these brothers, especially Sashank and Akash. Bring back that love and affection that have been hidden in them for too long; bring back that happiness that they have longed for for so long. Bring some ‘Roshni’ into their lives, beti. They have been unhappy for too long. Change them and bring in hope, a ray of light into their lives. Spread the light of love and happiness. You never know, eventually they may want to get married and settle down.”

  Roshni interrupted her father. “But, Babuji, Sashank bhaiya–”

  “I know you are wondering about marriage at his age, right!” Roshni nodded, and Prashant continued, “It is never too late, bete. Marriage is not just for physical pleasures; there is more to it – some company, somebody who cares for you, who understands you and is there with you in time of happiness and sorrow.” He sighed. “Haan, and so many reasons! And regarding Akash, he is still young and can have a nice marriage and family.”

  He faced her. “So, beti, do you see what I’m asking for? This is not an easy job, but will you promise me that you will try to bring back happiness in that house.”

  Tears welled in her eyes. She moved close to her babuji, held his hand, and spoke with dignity. “Babuji, you have raised me with good family values, gave me a good education, and nurtured me. This is the least I can do for you. I promise I will do everything within my capacity
to bring back happiness and joy to that family.” She shrugged her shoulders, raising her eyebrows. “You never know, one day they probably will decide to get married.”

  She smiled and rested her head on her father’s chest, a place of solace for her.

  Prashant hugged his daughter. “I had expected this of you, my beti. Thank you, you made me very happy today, and my wishes are always with you! Be always happy and spread the light of love and happiness around.”

  He left, asking her to get ready for the wedding muhurat.

  Deepak appeared tensed and uncomfortable. Although Roshni was a nice girl, the thought that he was getting married to a stranger bothered him. He was concerned and apprehensive. What if there was no compatibility with Roshni, and what if his married life would be unhappy! Several questions bothered him. He’d tried his best to persuade Sashank bhaiya that he did not want to get married now, but all his attempts had failed. Sashank bhaiya believed firmly that Roshni was the right girl for Deepak. It was very obvious that Sashank and Deepak had very different views on marriage. Deepak was in deep thought when the priest instructed him to come to the mandap.

  The mandap, the wedding platform that was temporarily erected, was decorated with flowers and tissue-type fabric. A pedestal for the sacred fire was arranged in the center, with two seats for the bride and the groom.

  It was time to bring the bride. Prashant was flooded with emotions. He was very contented that he’d found a nice boy and family for his daughter, but the thought of her getting married – his only daughter who had become everything to him since his wife passed away would be going away to her ‘house’ – pricked his heart. He had tears in his eyes. Prashant led Roshni to the mandap. She wore a light green wedding lehenga and a pink choli, with a light green veil. She looked stunningly beautiful with all the jewelry. All the guests were enthralled by her beauty, her dress and gait. She walked graciously to the mandap with her head bowed down. There was a lot of gossip amongst the guests, especially the women, that this pair made a good couple and how they were made for each other.

  Deepak heard this gossip and became aware that Roshni was in the vicinity, and he turned towards her. He was completely dazzled by Roshni’s beauty and her wedding dress. He could not take his eyes off her. Roshni was shy, and with her head bowed, she could not see Deepak as she approached the mandap. She walked gently to the mandap and was led to sit next to Deepak, and the wedding rituals began. The priest started chanting mantras. Both Deepak and Roshni followed the priest’s instructions to complete the rituals. The seven pheres were done around the sacred fire while the priest chanted. As Deepak and Roshni went around the sacred fire, they promised each other that they would assist and support each other at all times to lead a balanced conjugal life, the seven denoting that they were united for seven lives. Deepak tied the mangalsutra, a symbol of their union as mates for life, around Roshni’s neck, and filled Sindoor (vermillion) in her partition. The ritual of ‘kanya daan’ was completed by Prashant.

  During the ceremony, there were a few occasions when Roshni sensed that Deepak was uncomfortable. She had no clue the struggle Deepak went through in his mind; she assumed this was natural because she herself was a little nervous as she went through the marriage rituals. But her reasons for being uncomfortable were completely different than those of Deepak.

  Deepak’s uneasiness arose out of his dilemma regarding accepting Roshni as his wife, who was a stranger at this time. Roshni was uncomfortable because this person, her husband now, was who she would dedicate herself to completely and lead her life with, in happiness and sorrow, and he would be the father of their children. She was completely willing to surrender to him for all her life. She had no doubt in her mind that her father had found the right husband for her.

  It was at this time the registrar arrived and initiated the formalities to issue them the marriage certificate with all the necessary witnesses. Prashant and Sashank insisted in getting a power of attorney for Deepak from Roshni so he could initiate the paperwork for Roshni’s immigration in the US. This task was completed as well. The registrar and the attorney left soon after.

  Kusum moved around very comfortably as a family member and took care of the guests. She checked on Deepak and Roshni, and made sure everyone else was comfortable. Sashank had met Kusum for the first time but was impressed with the ease with which she took care of the wedding preparations for Prashant.

  All the wedding rituals were completed; Deepak and Roshni acknowledged each other a few times but never spoke to each other during the ceremony. It was bidaai time (for the groom to leave with the bride). Both Sashank and Prashant were glad that all the ceremonies went well. They hugged each other, Sashank assuring Prashant that his daughter would be happy with Deepak. Prashant bid his daughter farewell, and the baraat left with Roshni.

  ~ ~ ~

  Roshni was welcomed into the in-laws’ house as a new daughter-in-law with all the rituals. Sashank gifted her with a pair of bracelets (kangan) that had belonged to his mother as a symbol of welcoming the new daughter-in-law into the family. She was introduced to everybody present, and Roshni touched their feet and took their blessings. Akash congratulated Deepak and Roshni, and he assured Roshni that he was like her older brother. Roshni felt comfortable to hear this statement.

  All this time, Deepak was watching Roshni…sometimes admiring her beauty, sometimes admiring her values, her composure, her humbleness, her approach to elders and others in the family. He certainly respected her for these qualities.

  After all the ceremonies, it was time for Suhaag raat, the maiden night for the union of the groom and the bride, a very important ritual in Hindu marriages. Roshni was escorted to her room by Kaki and Lakshmi aunty. Roshni took an instant liking to Kaki and was very happy to have her around.

  Although Roshni was traditional, there were certain customs and traditions she did not agree with, and this was one such example, where she did not see a reason why the ceremony could not be kept simple. She believed this ritual was very private to husband and wife and should not be publicized. Regardless, she accepted it. Fortunately, the bed and the room were simply decorated. All the heavy wedding attire and jewelry was heavy on her, and she was tempted to change into simple clothes, but unsure of Deepak’s likings, she decided to wait for him.

  Deepak entered the room and bolted the door from inside. He saw Roshni on the bed in her beautiful attire and walked past the bed to the couch.

  Roshni watched him pace looking tense. She herself was very nervous of this ritual, but gathered strength to pull her lehenga together, and she rose from the bed, with her multicolored bangles tinkling as she moved. She came closer to the couch. “Deepak, is everything all right?”

  Deepak looked at Roshni and was silent. He was confused and searched through his mind for an appropriate reply. After a few seconds pause, he looked at Roshni. “Roshni, I want to say something to you, but…I am struggling to say it.”

  Roshni stared at Deepak. “What is it? Are you all right?”

  “Yes, I am… Would it be all right if we postponed this ritual?” he asked her. He paused and continued, “Please excuse me. I feel stressed at the moment.”

  Roshni looked into his eyes very sweetly. “I can understand. It’s okay with me.” She smiled. “Honestly, I’m nervous myself, but why are you so tense?”

  Deepak appreciated her willingness to cooperate – to postpone the ritual; however, he had to spit out what was on his mind. He struggled for the right choice of words. “Pardon me, Roshni…everything, I mean, our marriage happened so quickly, and…and I was not ready for this. I feel I was forced into this decision,” Deepak blurted out.

  A bomb dropped on Roshni. This was a rude awakening to her. With her eyes wide open, she asked, “What?… I mean, what do you mean?”

  Deepak looked at Roshni and tried to explain to her, “I was not ready for an arranged marriage.”

  “But Sashank bhaiya asked you before the wedding, right? And…and y
ou met me… I am confused. Can you give me some more details,” she asked.

  “I always questioned the compatibility in arranged marriages; it concerned me. I…I was not ready to get bonded to a stranger as my life partner.” He continued looking towards her. “I always wanted to find my life partner, get to know that person, and then dedicate an unwavering faith to the relationship.”

  “So you wanted a love marriage,” she responded.

  “I came here to convince Sashank bhaiya of the same, but everything…” He continued after a pause, “And everything happened so quickly, and personally I–” He stopped abruptly, rubbed his forehead, and was lost in thought.

  “Did you discuss this with Sashank bhaiya?” asked Roshni, still in a state of shock and unable to recover from what Deepak had said a few minutes ago.

  “He believes strongly in arranged marriages, and I was not able to change his opinions, and–”

  Roshni interrupted him. “You could have mentioned this to me. I would have stopped this marriage.” She took a deep breath and expelled it slowly. “Ha, how I wish you had said something to me.”

  “Roshni, I meant to say, but…all the decisions had been made. I guess everybody here assumed that this was final,” he said remorsefully.

  Roshni emphasized, “No, not me, I wanted to meet you and talk to you before we agreed to this. Do you remember, I asked you a question regarding your expectations for a wife… Why did you not tell me then?” She murmured, closing her eyes, “It is too late now.”

  Both of them closed their eyes and took deep breaths, expelling air slowly, no words…just sadness.

  It dawned on Deepak that the conversation had had a big impact on Roshni. All he wanted was to discuss this openly with Roshni and ask her for some time to sort things out, and unintentionally, he’d blurted out more than warranted. She was not to be blamed; it was he who could not communicate very clearly either to her or Sashank bhaiya, and he felt terrible. He went through myriad emotions regarding his marriage, his relationship with Roshni, his life, their compatibility and his loyalty to this relationship.