Love after Marriage

by Chandra, Bhagya

  Deepak could not sleep after he talked to everybody in India. Roshni had influenced Sashank to get married, and this was a great evidence for him, and now all the praise he heard from Sashank and Akash…he was very disturbed. All the memories came back to him: his conversations with her, her willingness to fulfill the promise, her request for his cooperation, and her decision to separate. He could not sleep all night; he kept tossing and turning.

  Roshni was unable to talk to him when her babuji passed away, but he never called her back.

  Vivek and Vaishali had more to share about Roshni. It had been two weeks since Vivek and Vaishali returned from India, and he never cared to get in touch with them either. He’d proved to himself and to Vivek and Vaishali that Roshni was not his priority.

  He lay on the bed with all these disturbing thoughts. He decided to talk to Vivek and Vaishali the next day and find out more details regarding their conversation with Roshni.

  He had to work later on Saturday, but this was a priority for him now. He realized he’d been careless; he certainly knew enough of Roshni’s personality to respect her for her virtue, and he’d developed some feelings towards her, but now with all of his family praising her, it certainly triggered a lot of thinking on his part. He wanted to know more about her.

  This was a great positive change; however, would Roshni ever forgive him?

  ~ ~ ~

  Deepak woke up late Saturday morning, but the thought of calling Vivek and Vaishali consumed him altogether. He wanted to talk to Roshni too! That morning he called Vivek, and Vivek was upset. Any justification from Deepak did not fly. Finally Deepak agreed to visit them that day.

  Deepak called Roshni, but she was not home. Kaki picked up the phone, and she expressed her feelings of how Roshni managed in his absence and took over the entire responsibility of the house. After a few minutes of this conversation, they hung up.

  The more Deepak heard of these conversations, the more they made him guilty and sad. He could not stop thinking of Roshni.

  Deepak arrived at Vivek and Vaishali’s condominium. He certainly looked very tired and worried. Vivek enquired if everything was all right. Deepak could not wait to communicate the news of Sashank bhaiya’s wedding to both Vivek and Vaishali. Vivek had known Deepak’s family for a long time, so he could not wait to hear all the details. Deepak narrated the conversations he’d had with Sashank bhaiya, Roshni, Akash and Kaki. Deepak wished he could attend the wedding.

  All the conversations had the same underlying theme: Roshni was instrumental in this.

  After a few minutes, Deepak apologized to them. “You and Vaishali wanted to talk to me about your conversation with Roshni; my apologies, I could not get back to you both sooner.”

  Vivek reprimanded Deepak for not showing any interest in this matter. Vivek paused, and Vaishali picked up the conversation.

  “Roshni objected to Vivek addressing her as ‘bhabhi’, and she feels extremely guilty. She believes her father passed away because of her,” Vaishali added.

  Vaishali continued to narrate how her babuji suspected she was unhappy, and he’d interrogated her. Roshni finally had to succumb to his interrogation and revealed a few facts, and her babuji could not bear this shock.

  Vivek paced across the room. He looked at Deepak. “What do you think, Deepak? This woman is so strong and has so much goodness and decency. She was able to convince her father not to talk to Sashank bhaiya because Sashank bhaiya and Akash bhaiya confided in her. She did not want to ruin this credibility. She wanted to fulfill the promise she had given to her babuji, and of course, now he had passed away.

  “Nobody but us knows of all that happened between you both. You did not even have the courtesy to talk to her, at least to console her as a human being, after her babuji’s death. What a shame!” Vivek expressed his anger. “She has still not gotten over this grief. She is so shattered and feels so lonely. Look at the mental trauma she is going through,” he added.

  This conversation added fuel to the fire for Deepak. He was ashamed of himself, of how insensitive he was to not call and talk to her when she needed his support the most. How could he behave this way? On the other hand, she was so mature and responsible in fulfilling the promise. He had already seen the fruits of her action with Sashank bhaiya.

  “This is unpardonable, Vivek. Certainly, I failed at this,” he agreed.

  Vivek was not able to forget or forgive his friend for such insane behavior. He looked at him seriously. “Do you know what else she said?”

  After all this stress, a cup of chai with fresh ginger and spice was refreshing for Deepak and Vivek. The steam from the chai spread the aroma of fresh ginger as they relished the beverage. Vivek sat next to Deepak on the sofa. “We asked her if she was open to changing her decision.”

  Deepak was very curious. Although he did a few stupid things, certainly the thought of separation never occurred to him. It was Roshni who’d made such a quick decision to end their relationship, and Deepak eagerly waited to hear from Vivek.

  Vivek continued to speak. “She has a very legitimate concern. She entered this relationship with hope and responsibility, but you did not. She believes you have preconceived notions, and because of this, no matter how much she adjusts or compromises, she will never be able to satisfy you or please you. She fears that you would expect her to compromise, but you would never make an attempt to make this relationship successful.

  “Added to this is you living in the US, Deepak. Adjusting to this environment and culture itself is a challenge, and if she does not receive full cooperation from her husband, which is you, she would be lost completely. So with all these thoughts, she decided to end this relationship.”

  Deepak listened to all this very patiently without interrupting Vivek.

  “Do you understand why she made the decision to separate? See how balanced is her thinking. Just look at how much thought process went into her making this decision. Her decision to separate, at least we think, was not a hasty decision.” He looked at Vaishali, and she nodded her head in agreement.

  “Did she at any time in this conversation talk about reconsidering this decision?” asked Deepak curiously.

  “I’m not sure, Deepak, her only response was, ‘Time will tell,’ and we took it as a spark of some hope.”

  “That is exactly what she said to me when I talked to her before I left.”

  Vaishali explained her perspective to Deepak. “Deepak, I am a woman and went through an arranged marriage. Both Vivek and I had some adjustments to make initially, but look at us now. We are happy. I believe we will continue to have disagreements and minor arguments, but now, we know we love each other, we care for each other, and we will support each other. Each of us has that security and faith, and we developed it over time. I had to go through major adjustments to this culture. If not for all the support that Vivek showed, I would have been lost. More importantly, I believed in him to support me.” She paused and continued, “I don’t think Roshni trusts you at this time.”

  “So do you see, Deepak, I think you have lost her, man, very unfortunate!” said Vivek, being disappointed.

  Silence prevailed.

  Vivek and Vaishali glanced at each other. Did this have any impact on Deepak? Would he take the initiative to patch things up with Roshni, or would his strong ego prevent him? The ball was in his court.

  Deepak ran his fingers through his hair and leaned back on the sofa. The last thing he wanted to hear was this statement. What should he do now? How could he assure her and regain her confidence? He had become aware of his feelings for her and certainly was not ready to give up.

  But he was not able to envision his path to proceed.

  “I admit I made some serious mistakes dealing with Roshni; however, I developed feelings for her, but unfortunately after I came here, work and projects became my priority, which again was a bad move on my part. I sure made some grave mistakes here,” Deepak confessed.

  “Deepak, your marital life is
a mess, and how could you ignore all this and focus so much on work? You really screwed up your priorities!” Vivek shook his head. “If you lose work, you can find another job later, but your wife, especially a girl like Roshni…how could you take all this for granted?” Vivek was fuming at Deepak, and Deepak needed to hear it. After all, they were such good friends!

  He thought for a few seconds. “I accept all the blame. Roshni had nothing to do with any of this, but unfortunately she is paying for it. I really want to address this. How can I?” Deepak looked at both of them, expressing his genuine interest and that he needed help.

  “What do you mean address? Do you want to initiate the paperwork for divorce?” Vivek asked, being stern. His expression indicated to Deepak that he’d played this game enough and now it was time to be serious.

  “No,” Deepak replied very emphatically.

  “So what do you want to do now?”

  “I don’t know. I am so nervous to take any step for fear of losing Roshni. I don’t want to lose her.” He repeated, “I don’t want to lose her. I am beginning to believe she is the right life partner for me, and I want her.” He was moved, and his eyes were watery as he spoke.

  Vivek and Vaishali noticed this, and they knew he was very candid when he said he wanted her back in his life.

  Vivek made sure Deepak was serious when he made that statement. “Deepak, are you a hundred percent sure you want her in your life?”

  “Yes, positive! I have no doubts in my mind. I have already caused a lot of pain to Roshni, and now I want to fix this. But how can I?”

  “Deepak, as we said before, the ball is in your court, and it looks like you want her back. If this is true, Vivek and I can help you…and then we have to wait for Roshni’s response. Just keep in mind this will not be an easy job. She is a wounded lioness at this time.” She looked at Deepak. “And it will be a great challenge for you to change her mind with your determination and credibility.”

  Vaishali glanced at Vivek, and he agreed. This statement brought a huge relief to Deepak. He was aware this certainly was a challenge.

  It was past lunchtime, and Vaishali warmed up the food. Deepak joined them for lunch. It was late in the afternoon, and Deepak had to go to work, for some of his team had planned on meeting him. After all the discussion, he was not able to focus; his brain was flooded with thoughts. He decided to call off his meeting. He thanked Vivek and Vaishali for all their support and promised them that he would make sincere attempts to reconcile with Roshni and bring her back into his life.

  As Deepak prepared to leave, Vivek said, “Deepak, a couple of things you need to do now.”

  Deepak looked at him.

  “Call Roshni immediately, and show genuine interest in talking to her. She may not want to talk to you but insist. By the way, do you have her mobile number? How about her e-mail address?” Vivek was now on the task to help Deepak.

  Deepak did not have her cell number but remembered the e-mail address she had given to Sanjay in Jammu.

  “If you call home, she may still give excuses not to talk to you. Get her mobile number and call her; she would have no option but to answer and talk to you,” Vivek suggested.

  As he left, he looked at Vivek and Vaishali. “Thank you both. I really need guidance and support at this time. I know I can count on you both. I will catch up with you after I talk to Roshni.”

  “Very good, your wife and your life are a priority at this time. Keep this in mind,” said Vivek.

  “Yes, I will.”

  And he left a little relieved. He needed this rude awakening. He needed to put his priorities straight. He was concerned as to how he would resolve the situation with Roshni, but he had a steadfast goal to win her and live with her all his life. He came home and paced up and down the family room, thinking of various ideas. He was relaxed after meeting with Vivek and Vaishali, and with excitement combined with restlessness, his mind raced at a very high speed.

  He went into flashback mode…one underlying theme in all the conversations was the respect and praise for Roshni.

  Deepak questioned himself. How could I not see this? Why was I so inhuman? What was I thinking? Why did I have to distress her? I was so immature. Why? Why?

  He eagerly waited to call Roshni, and the clock seemed to crawl. It was 6 p.m. He could not call India this early, so he decided to go grocery shopping to keep his mind off these thoughts. It was 7:30 p.m. in California. He unpacked groceries and then called home. Roshni was not available. Sashank, Akash and Roshni had gone out for a walk. This was news to Deepak; when did this start? He asked Kaki and learnt that they had been doing this for a few weeks now. He smiled at this new development.

  Deepak was impatient and sat next to the phone, watching the clock tick away. Finally he called India again. He had a brief conversation with Akash and asked for Roshni.

  She picked up the phone. “Hello.”

  “Hello, Roshni, how are you?”

  “I’m fine. Is everything all right, Deepak?”

  “Why do you ask that question?”

  “Because you called yesterday and you are calling again today, I just wondered!”

  A moment of silence followed.

  “Yes, because I could not talk to you yesterday,” he replied.

  Roshni mentioned they were busy getting everything ready for the wedding.

  “So how are the preparations going? I wish I was there too.”

  “You have already met Kusum didi one time. When you come here in December, she will be here.”

  Deepak and Roshni had never had a casual conversation like this before.

  “Yeah, December seems too far off. I will try to come sooner, maybe a short trip.”

  “Why?” Roshni responded instantly. She bit her tongue. She’d reacted hastily. “I mean, why? Coming in December will give you a longer time to visit and moreover–”

  Deepak interrupted her, “I know, but I have heard so much of all the wonderful changes you brought into the family; I can’t wait to visit you all.”

  A moment of silence followed.

  “Roshni, what happened?”

  “Nothing, shall I hang up?”

  “Why, are you busy?”

  “Sashank bhaiya and I planned to finish the remaining shopping for the wedding.”

  Deepak wanted to talk to her longer and tried to extend the conversation, but she was apprehensive. Regardless, he continued, “Roshni, how is your work?”

  “It’s all right.”

  “Were you able to find your friend Sanjay a job in your firm?”

  Roshni was astonished that Deepak remembered this conversation. “Yes, Sanjay has been working at our firm since the end of February, and he is in my group.”

  “Oh, congratulations, so you were successful.”

  “He had all the credentials, so Gupta had no problem hiring him.”

  “Who is Gupta?”

  “The director of the firm, a very nice man, my boss.”

  They talked for a few minutes, and Roshni was restless to disconnect him. She was in no mood to extend the conversation beyond what was necessary. “Deepak, I have to go now. Is there anything important you wanted to talk to me about?” she asked him abruptly.

  “Why? Can I not just chat with you?”

  “NO…I mean, we had agreed to not communicate unless necessary so…”

  “Roshni…” He paused and struggled for words to communicate to her that he wanted to have conversations with her.

  “Deepak, it’s all right. I understand. You were excited about Sashank bhaiya’s wedding and you called. Can you call back next Friday evening our time for a few minutes? Sashank bhaiya and Kusum didi, I mean bhabhi for you, will be married by then, and both can talk to you.” She paused and then added, “You mentioned that you were busy at work, but I think you can spare a few minutes for your brother, right?”

  Deepak listened to her…she was his priority at this time; he didn’t care about work. Yes, he would like to talk
to Sashank bhaiya and Kusum bhabhi for a few minutes, but it was her he wanted to converse with.

  “Yes, certainly, but I will call intermittently. Roshni, I apologize for not keeping in touch with you regularly.”

  “Deepak, you don’t have to apologize. This was our agreement. Okay, Deepak, I have to hang up now. Sashank bhaiya will be waiting for me.”

  “Okay, I’ll call back later.”

  Deepak was relieved he was able to talk to her for a few minutes, but Roshni was confused. Why did he want to talk to me; he has never talked to me for this long? She thought about it for a few minutes but shrugged her shoulders and let it go.

  Chapter 13

  Sashank and Kusum Get Married

  Everybody at home worked as a team to get ready for the wedding. Kaki, Lakshmi and Rahim chacha all pitched in their efforts to help Akash and Roshni. Since this was a registered wedding, the only premarriage ceremony that was completed was the ‘kula devi’ pooja. Sashank took blessings from Durga Devi. Rangoli patterns adorned the front yard. The house was decorated with various flowers and lights.

  The hall and caterer for the reception was confirmed, and everyone agreed on a menu for the reception: vegetable pulav, raita, two vegetable curries, naan, a couple of appetizers and a few desserts. The hall was decorated with flowers and twinkling lights.

  All arrangements were completed, and it was April 14th, Friday, the big day for Sashank and Kusum. Kusum stayed at Sashank’s house the previous night, and the next day everybody left for the registrar’s office at the appointed time. Kusum wore a heavy brocade green silk saree, and Sashank wore a kurta pyjama. Roshni was dressed in a zari-embroidered salwar kameez. Since the wedding was at the registrar’s office, they could not dress more traditionally. Sashank and Kusum went through the registered wedding with very close friends present as witnesses. They exchanged rings, and Sashank put the mangalsutra around Kusum’s neck at an auspicious time. All papers were signed, and Sashank and Kusum were husband and wife.

  Roshni whispered to Sashank to hug Kusum. Sashank was shy at first, but he pulled Kusum towards him and they hugged, satisfaction evident in their eyes. It was a big event for both of them.