~ ~ ~
The next day was Durga Ashtami, the eighth day of the ten-day Dashera festival dedicated to Goddess Durga, who killed the demon Mahishasura. The day is a celebration of the death of the demon. Hindus all over India and around the world celebrate this day by performing the pooja to Durga Devi and offering food.
As per the rituals, Roshni woke up early, took a shower, washed her hair, and walked out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around her hair. She was quiet so she wouldn’t wake up Deepak; however, her aroma reached him, and he woke up. Roshni looked like an angel, stunningly beautiful in red silk sari with zari and sequins, and as she walked, limping slowly to the mirror, Deepak could not take his eyes off her. He watched her from the corner of his eyes and felt a shiver in his spine. Gosh, if only I could go hug her, hug her tightly, and get immersed in her.
Roshni had long, dark hair. She dried her hair and, after brushing it, brought it all together with a hair clip. She got dressed and walked out, with Deepak staring at her unblinkingly. He got up and wanted to help her with the preparations for the pooja. It had been several years since he left India, and he looked forward to celebrating Dashera and Diwali with his dear wife, Roshni.
After his morning chores, he came to the kitchen area. Roshni had already lit the lamp in the altar, and the grey smoke of the incense filled the air, spreading the jasmine aroma around. Roshni moved slowly to the kitchen to make chai and cook. Her limping was a handicap, but she slowly managed with one arm and leg.
Deepak could not resist being near her. He was about to hold and pull her towards him when Roshni said, “Deepak, can you please go have your shower and come back?”
Deepak nodded. “Can I have chai first, dear?”
“Yes, certainly, you will have to wait for a few minutes.”
He nodded and waited patiently at the table, staring at his lovely wife, completely mesmerized by her beauty. Both had chai, and he left to have a shower. Meanwhile, Roshni got ready to cook. Deepak helped her chop vegetables, and she maneuvered slowly and made a big meal: rice dishes, dal, vegetable curries, and kheer to offer to the Goddess. She sent Deepak to a caterer to pick up the chapathis she’d ordered the previous evening.
After all the cooking was done, Roshni invited Deepak to help her with the pooja and offering the food and arati to Durga Devi.
Deepak very gladly performed all the rituals, guided by her. First they chanted hymns in Durga’s praise, followed by the food offering and then arati (offering of camphor to the goddess). Deepak was elated celebrating this festival with Roshni. As the tradition goes, after arati, the wife touches husband’s feet to take his blessings while he fills the vermillion in her partition (maang). Roshni, without a second thought, instantly bent down with some difficulty and touched Deepak’s feet. Deepak was dumbfounded, for he never expected this of her. He smiled and held her by shoulders and lifted her up gently.
In that moment, Roshni realized what she had done. “Pardon me, Deepak. I should have thought about it,” she said instantly.
Deepak moved to her. “Why do you apologize? Isn’t this the tradition?”
Deepak enjoyed this ritual, and Roshni saw it. He had no problem; then why was she unhappy? Deepak came closer to her and filled the red vermillion in her partition, emphasizing to her that she was his wife and would always be.
Unable to resist, he bent down and gently kissed her cheek. “Roshni, you look so beautiful in this sari.”
Roshni was shy, color blooming on her cheeks. She was lost for words to respond to him. She smiled and walked away to the kitchen and got ready for lunch. Deepak gave her the prasad, and he took some and helped her bring the food to the table, all the while staring into her eyes. They exchanged glances occasionally.
Deepak was absolutely speechless at all the preparations Roshni had made and praised her for the variety. He was restless and opened the lids, and the wonderful aroma of the spices spread around. He had to sniff and felt exhilarated. By chance, Roshni had made all his favorite dishes. The kheer was the icing on the cake; this was his favorite dessert, and it showed.
As they were about to end the meal, he complimented her. “Roshni, such a wonderful job cooking, you are really a good cook.” He continued, “Thank god, I don’t have to starve all my life.” He smiled and winked at her.
Roshni was amused at this comment but was quiet.
“When did you learn to cook such wonderful food?”
Roshni stared at him, and their eyes locked for a few minutes.
“I can see myself gaining so much weight with all this wonderful cooking you would do, Roshni.” He paused abruptly, not to sadden her, he continued, “Roshni, I am so enjoying this food and all these rituals with you. It is so beautiful to celebrate all these festivals with family.”
He meant it; she was his wife, his family! He thanked her and served himself more kheer and enjoyed every bit of it thoroughly. She was not aware that this was his favorite dish.
They explored each other and understood each other…a wonderful growing experience for them both.
After lunch Deepak asked Roshni to rest while he cleaned up the kitchen. Roshni held her foot frequently and massaged it. She probably was in a lot of pain with all the standing she did in the morning. Slowly limping again, she walked to her room and changed into a comfortable salwar kameez. After changing, she came to the family room and rested on the sofa, massaging her foot again. She was exhausted. She rested her head on the sofa’s back rest, with her right hand over her forehead.
Deepak noticed this and sat by her side on the sofa. He slowly pulled her foot onto his lap and, without saying a word, started to massage her foot as she lay there with her right arm over her eyes.
Startled, she sat up. “Deepak, what are you doing?” She began to pull her leg from his lap.
Deepak held her foot in the same position. “I know you have a throbbing pain, Roshni. Let me massage it; you’ll feel better.”
“No.” She pulled her foot away and forced herself to stand up, and in doing so, she lost her balance. “Aaaaaoooo,” she yelled. She feared a major injury if she fell again!
She was terrified and shut her eyes tight. When she opened them, Deepak was holding her, and she clung to his shirt. His swift movement prevented her from crashing to the floor. They remained in each other’s arms for a few minutes, feeling the warmth and safety in their embrace.
A few minutes later, Roshni pulled her head away from his chest and looked at him, and he stared down at her. Love and care were very much visible in Deepak’s eyes, and deep passion for him in Roshni’s eyes.
“Thank you, Deepak,” she said and tried to free herself from him while he held her.
“No worries, Roshni, are you okay?” he asked.
Roshni gestured and pulled away from him, and he supported her until she gained some balance and control.
“Please don’t do all this, Deepak,” she requested.
“What did I do? I was just massaging your foot because I know you were in pain,” he said very innocently.
“I’m not used to all this pampering, Deepak. Please don’t spoil me,” she said.
Deepak pulled her towards him and very lovingly said, “Roshni, isn’t this what a husband-wife relationship is about? To be there for each other when they need each other, so why do you feel I am pampering you?”
“Because I’m not used to this type of treatment. Only Babuji would pamper me, but…b-being pampered by others, I’m not used to this, please.”
She wanted to move away from him, but he brought her closer to him by placing his arm around her shoulder.
“Roshni, you need help and support at this time, and I am providing that help; moreover, it is my duty as your husband to take care of you too! So there is no question of pampering or spoiling you.”
Roshni closed her eyes for a moment and sighed deeply. “Deepak, please try to understand. I am very grateful to you for taking care of me, but all that you’ve been doing since y
ou came here is too much. Please don’t do all this. I will not be able to repay you.”
Deepak was agonized to hear this. “What nonsense are you saying? Do you think I’m doing all this expecting something from you? You must be crazy, Roshni,” he said in an angry tone.
What Roshni had said caused him more distress than she expected. She saw the tremendous love and affection he had for her. “Deepak, I know you’re not expecting anything. I know you came here for me, but please try to understand. After all that I went through since our marriage, it’s not easy for me to forget everything. Those memories come back to me very often and disturb me. I…I am so troubled sometimes; I feel like running away from them. I just don’t want to go back there, and…please…”
She started crying, covering her face with her hands.
Deepak was very touched by this. Finally she at least said something to him, and he was relieved. There was more hope for this relationship than he had thought; he just needed to continue what he was doing and one day she would accept him.
He came close to her and pulled her to him. “Roshni, I know the pain you’re going through. I can read your expressions. Old memories are haunting you, and somewhere they are blocking you from expressing yourself. Take your time but be assured that I am here for you anytime. You may not consider me your husband yet, but at least you can treat me as a good friend and open up when you need to. You have taught me more lessons than I could imagine, all good lessons to make me a better human, and I am very grateful for that.” He paused. “Let me continue to do what I am doing. All I want to do is to be there for you and take care of you,” he said, and he meant it.
Roshni glanced at his face and, without a word, slowly walked away to their room. Deepak got back to the sofa to work while Roshni tried to relax but was unable to – her past haunted her. She’d seen enough of Deepak in this trip that her impressions of him changed. Enough evidence was available that he loved her immensely and he was here to spend time with her. He was very regretful for what he’d said, and he’d asked for forgiveness several times, and…unaware to her, she also started loving him, but her ego was strong, and she was not ready to accept her love for him.
As a matter of fact, the day she was shown his picture by Babuji, she submitted herself to him mentally, and since then her feelings for him had not changed, although he’d humiliate and saddened her. Only now did those feelings strengthen after seeing his ‘real’ self.
She was very disturbed by these thoughts, and she could not rest. Finally she decided to get up and get to work with Deepak.
She walked into the kitchen, and Deepak saw her.
“Roshni, what are you doing up again?”
“I will make chai for us.”
“No, you’re not doing anything in the kitchen. Come and sit here. I’ll make chai.” He went into the kitchen and forcefully dragged her to the dining table. “You should be resting. Why did you get up?”
Roshni looked at him intently. “I could not sleep. I might as well do some work; otherwise, you know…”
Deepak finished, “… an idle man’s brain is the devil’s workshop?” and shook his head.
Roshni agreed.
“Let’s have chai and then continue with where we stopped yesterday. I’ll start showing you more of the software and its capabilities, okay?”
Roshni nodded. They had chai with biscuits, and then they started to work together on the project.
~ ~ ~
It was Tuesday, Dashera day, the tenth day of the festival, also referred to as Vijaya Dasami. This day marks the end of the celebration, the victory of good over evil. The festival also celebrates the death of the ten-headed demon king, Ravana, by Lord Rama, Vishnu incarnate, who descended in human form to kill Ravana.
Roshni and Deepak woke up early, and Roshni again cooked a big meal. This time Deepak helped her so she would not stress her foot and arm. With her guidance, Deepak again performed all the rituals and offerings to the Gods. Great satisfaction was evident in their eyes. They had lunch, and Deepak thoroughly enjoyed every dish Roshni made.
After lunch, they called Sashank bhaiya, Kusum didi and Akash bhaiya and wished them well for Dashera. They talked about what each of them did and what dishes were cooked for Ashtami and Dashera. It was a festive mood, and everyone was happy.
“Sashank bhaiya, did you call Satish bhaiya for Dashera?” Roshni asked Sashank.
Sashank replied that he had not called Satish, and it had been a few weeks since they’d spoken. Roshni took him to task and asked him to talk to Satish and Nirmala.
Roshni and Deepak called Satish bhaiya and Nirmala bhabhi and conveyed their Dashera wishes to them. Satish was so elated to hear from his little brother and his wife; his joy knew no bounds. She urged Satish and Nirmala to call Sashank bhaiya, and Satish agreed instantly.
That evening Roshni and Deepak received calls from Sashank and Satish that they’d talked to each other, and it was a nice telephone visit. Both thanked Roshni and Deepak, and Deepak thanked Roshni for initiating this conversation to bridge the gap between his older brothers.
“Deepak, we need to get them to meet in person,” Roshni said.
“Yes, but this isn’t possible if we’re here. We’ll work on it when we get back to Mumbai,” he said and smiled at her.
“It would make me so happy to see the entire Verma family together.” She smiled; the happiness was evident on her face.
Deepak came to her and hugged her. “Roshni, you are a blessing to this family. You certainly brought in a lot of realizations amongst all family members.” He whispered in her ear, “Thank you.”
She rested her head on his chest – a great feeling of satisfaction for her.
Sheetal called with wishes for Dashera. She also conveyed that her stay in Poona was very relaxing. She was happy to hear from Deepak that this ‘alone’ time was working in their favor.
Vivek and Vaishali also called. They chatted for a few minutes, and Deepak was so elated. He spoke of the rituals he’d performed under Roshni’s guidance and the various foods she cooked. He was in very high spirits.
Roshni overheard him and smiled to herself. It was evident Deepak enjoyed these rituals with her, but she could not deny – she’d had a great time celebrating Dashera with Deepak.
Thus they celebrated the rest of Dashera festival with each other’s company, performing all the rituals as a family. Deepak was excited and happy to be celebrating this major festival in India with Roshni, and so was Roshni. Of course, the moments she’d spent with Babuji came to her, but with Deepak around, she still enjoyed herself.
Chapter 30
Deepak and Roshni celebrate Diwali
Two weeks passed. Roshni learnt a lot from Deepak, and during this time, they really bonded well with each other. Working as a team worked out to their benefit; they talked, laughed, teased and worked together. Definitely there was compatibility between them. Roshni’s condition also improved. She could take more steps with little support of the crutches, and her arm cooperated more. They went out together for shopping, walking and dinners. This ‘alone’ time was absolutely necessary for both of them to explore each other, their likes, dislikes, strengths and weaknesses.
Roshni knew more details about Deepak. He had been ready to quit his job for her and to forego the house rent; he did not care about the financial losses because his primary goal was to come to India to spend time with Roshni, and he’d included her on his insurance. She was able to observe him very closely during this trip, and his feelings for her were undisputed. He loved her, and there was no other woman in his life. She became more tolerant of him and opened up to him on a few occasions on other topics; however, when it came to their marriage, she hesitated to confront him.
Deepak, on the other hand, was very thankful he’d made this trip. He was able to understand Roshni better, and his regard and respect for her increased tremendously. She couldn’t tolerate any injustice to anybody, she forgave others, but when it came
to Deepak, she still had some reservations. She held herself at a distance from him. Overall, there was significant improvement in their relationship, and he was very positive that she would forgive him, and he continued to work towards that goal.
There were regular updates between Mumbai, Poona and the USA. Akash, Sheetal, Vivek and Vaishali were pleased with the progress, but they were aware that Roshni was holding back from him. A couple of weeks passed after Dashera, and it was Diwali – the Festival of Lights.
Sashank called Deepak. “Deepak, how are you?”
“Hello, bhaiya, I’m doing well.”
“How is Roshni? You mentioned last time that she was making efforts to walk without crutches now.”
“Yes, bhaiya, a lot of improvement in her condition; she is getting better.”
“Deepak, Diwali is in a week. Why don’t you both come here? It will be good to see you both. Especially, like Kusum and I, it is the first Diwali for you both after your marriage. It would be good to celebrate Diwali together.”
Deepak heard Kusum bhabhi in the background. Deepak liked the idea. He was tempted to go but did not agree to anything yet. He told Sashank bhaiya that he would talk to Roshni and let him know.
It had become a practice for Roshni and Deepak to update each other on all the conversations they had, and most times, they turned on the speaker so they were both involved. Roshni liked this open communication, and it helped her build her trust towards him.
After talking to Sashank, Deepak asked Roshni, “Roshni, what do you say? Sashank bhaiya invited us for Diwali. Do you think you can handle this journey?”
“Not sure…I’m still unable to walk long distances, so…why don’t you go to Mumbai and be with them. This is a great opportunity for you to celebrate Diwali with family after a long time,” Roshni responded. She was cautious; she never said ‘your family’ this time.
“Family…are you not my family? How can I leave you here alone and go?”
Frankly, Deepak did not want to go to Mumbai. He enjoyed this time with Roshni – just them with no interruptions – and this bonding time was absolutely necessary for both of them, and they were aware of it.
Love after Marriage Page 35