Raw Deal (Beauty for Ashes: Book One)

by Dayo Benson

  It was lunchtime Monday morning, and I could see that Monica was again sitting with Michelle and Sandy. I needed to talk to her. I just didn’t understand Jace at all, and she needed to tell me what game he was playing, because he’d totally ignored me in first period economics.

  I didn’t get it. Why was he so nice to me to the extent that I thought he was flirting, and then next minute he wouldn’t even talk to me? Was flirting just the way people communicated here?

  “Here’s our supermodel,” Monica announced as I approached. I glared at her as I sat down. I still considered her friendship with Michelle and Sandy treason.

  “Your dress on Saturday was hot,” Sandy said with a toss of her red head. Her beautiful fiery hair went flying over her shoulder. “And I can’t believe what Monica’s telling us. Are you really a model?”

  I looked at Monica. “You’re not supposed to be telling everyone. How many people have you told?”

  “Only Michelle and Sandy. They won’t tell anyone.”

  “Can we come to your fashion show on Wednesday too?” Sandy asked.

  “Sure. That reminds me, I brought your ticket Monica.” I removed my mom’s ticket from my purse. Monica snatched it out of my hand.

  “How can we get tickets?” Sandy asked.

  “You can probably get them at the door.”

  Up till now, Michelle had just eyed me from across the table. Now she tapped her nails against her can of diet soda. “About this open call on Thursday, do we have to book places, or do we just show up?”

  “Just show up. Take some pictures, and a list of your statistics, and hope for the best.”

  After school, the three of them came to my place to have their photos taken. Michelle was surprisingly conscious of being photographed in a swimsuit. Monica whispered to me that it was because her mom would probably freak about it if she found out.

  They left my place around six, and I settled down in front of the TV with a cup of noodles. After I finished eating it I realized that I was still hungry. My stomach was like a black hole these days. Any food I ate just seemed to disappear into nothing.

  Around eight I started wondering where my mom was. She was usually home by six on Mondays. I gave her another half an hour, then decided to call her. She was at my grandmother’s. “You could have told me,” I huffed out loud after I hung up.

  I got up and changed into my pajamas. I took a Fiona Carlson novel from my shelf and rolled into bed. Her plots were usually pretty fast-paced and stimulating. I lost myself in her ingenious web of conspiracy and unrequited love until my mom got home.

  She breezed into my room a few hours later, all bright and cheery, like it wasn’t eleven o’clock and like she hadn’t abandoned her only child for a whole evening! “Lexi, sweetheart, have you had anything to eat?”

  I didn’t look up from my book. “I had a cup of noodles.”

  “I bought pizza,” she sang.

  “I’m not hungry.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yes.”

  “Are you okay?”

  “Yes.”

  The doorbell chimed, and my mom crossed my room to look out of the window.

  “Who is it?” I asked.

  “I can’t see. There’s a car I don’t recognize.”

  I joined her at the window and peered out. I didn’t recognize the car either. I grabbed my flip-flops and ran down the stairs to check who it was.

  “Come back, Lexi,” my mom called after me in alarm. “It could be a mass murderer for all we know.”

  I opened the door. It was Monica and Tanya. “Hey, girls.”

  “Hi, Lexi,” Tanya replied.

  My mom came down the stairs. “Who is it?”

  “Monica and Tanya.”

  My mom looked like she was about to say ‘at this time of the night!’ but she didn’t. “Everything okay, girls?”

  Monica didn’t say anything. She kept her head down. Tanya was holding her hand. “Hi, Mrs. Dixon. I’m Tanya. Can we come in?”

  “Oh, sorry.” I stepped aside to let them in. Monica was crying. “Are you okay?” I asked. She brushed past me and went upstairs. I heard a door slam and guessed it was my bedroom door. “Did Liam ditch her or something?” I asked Tanya.

  “No.” Tanya lifted her wet braids from her neck and tied them up on top of her head with a band. She didn’t look anything like Jace, but their family definitely had the good looks gene. “I’m sorry to disturb you so late. She made me bring her here. I hope you don’t mind. I think she’s going to have to stay the night. Her mom is in the hospital.”

  “Why?” my mom asked.

  Tanya hesitated. She looked like she didn’t want to say much. “It’s a long story.”

  “Is she okay?” my mom pressed.

  “Not really. She’s got some injuries.”

  My mom placed a gentle hand on Tanya’s shoulder. “Was she in an accident?”

  Tanya’s eyes brimmed. “No, it was Monica’s dad.”

  My mom went to get her a tissue, and I just stood there awkwardly, not knowing what to say.

  “Who’s with her in hospital?” my mom asked when she returned.

  “My mom.” Tanya took the tissue my mom offered her and dabbed at her eyes. “I guess I should get home. Monica’s supposed to stay with me, but she said she wanted to come here. I hope that’s okay?”

  “Of course, the poor thing. You go and help yourself to a hot drink,” my mom ordered. “I won’t have you driving home while you’re upset. The kitchen is through that door. I’ll check on Monica.”

  “Okay.”

  “Some men are crazy,” my mom muttered under her breath as she went up the stairs. “They’re just stark, raving mad and crazy.”

  Tanya and I went to the kitchen. Monica had never told me anything about her family. She’d never even invited me over to her place, so I didn’t know her family at all. What kind of a psycho was her dad?

  “Do you think Monica would like a drink too?” I asked Tanya.

  “Maybe.”

  “Okay, she could probably do with something sweet and hot. I’ll make her a hot chocolate with marshmallows and cream. Do you think I should get her something to eat too?” I knew it helped me if I ate when I felt down, but Monica wasn’t much of an eater. Personally, I liked to eat. A lot.

  “I doubt she wants to eat.”

  Tanya sat at the table. I filled the kettle and pushed the button. I searched for something to say to Tanya while the kettle boiled. “Were you at the Christmas dance?”

  “No.”

  “Why not?”

  Tanya smiled. “There is a reason for Christmas. It has a meaning.”

  I made myself look interested. “Oh, Jesus was born, right?” Aunt Milly liked to remind us about the ‘true meaning’ of Christmas all the time; the ‘reason for the season’ and all that.

  “Yes,” Tanya said. She looked like she didn’t want to talk about it.

  “Isn’t that all the more reason why you should have been at the dance? To celebrate?”

  Tanya shrugged.

  Sheesh, this was like pulling teeth! If Aunt Milly’s attitude was anything to go by, Christian people were usually desperate to talk about their Christianity. What was wrong with this girl?

  I studied her. Her sense of style was significantly better than Aunt Milly’s. She looked pretty normal, but she probably had pathetically bigoted views.

  The kettle finished boiling. I poured hot water into two mugs. “Do you know my aunt? She goes to the same church as you.”

  “Yeah, she told me to look out for you when you started school.”

  “Did you look out for me?”

  “Yeah, but Monica latched on to you, so I figured you were okay for friends.”

  I made two mugs of hot chocolate, and Tanya took one. “This looks good, Lexi. Thanks.”

  “I know. I should probably open a Lexibucks one day.”

  “You do that, girl. I will be your number one customer.”

/>   We went upstairs to my room. Monica was curled up on my bed facing the wall. My mom was sitting by her stroking her back. “Did you make one for Monica?”

  “Yes, this one’s hers,” I said.

  My mom rose to her feet. “I’ll be in my room. Let me know if you guys need me.”

  She left the room, and I took her place on the bed beside Monica. “Are you okay, Monica?” I asked. I set the mug of hot chocolate on my bedside table. She didn’t answer.

  Tanya laid a hand on Monica’s shoulder. “Do you need me to get you any clothes from home for school tomorrow?”

  “No, I can borrow from Lexi.” Monica’s voice was thin.

  Tanya picked a marshmallow out of her drink. “Girl, how many closets have you got in here?” she paused while she counted. “Seven!”

  I just smiled.

  “Would you like me to pray with you?” Tanya asked Monica.

  “No.”

  “It might help.”

  “It’s too late for help. My dad is crazy, and my mom is already lying in hospital. There’s not much that can be done about it now. If God wanted to help, I guess He would have by now.”

  “Monica, people can’t blame God for the wrong actions of other people.”

  Monica groaned. “Please, Tanya, now is not the time. I just want to forget everything and sleep.”

  Tanya let it go. “Lexi’s made you a hot chocolate. It’s better than Starbucks.”

  “It better be. Starbucks is overrated. I prefer The Mocha Boudoir.” She sat up. Her eyes were red and watery. I handed her the mug, and she took it in both hands. “I keep telling her to leave him. I keep telling her!”

  Monica’s hands were shaking. I felt so sorry for her. Why hadn’t her dad died instead of mine? He was obviously no good.

  Chapter 12

  The next morning Monica begged my mom for a letter to excuse her from school. My mom refused, saying that Monica needed school to take her mind off things. That’s what my mom was like. She was a hard woman sometimes. Nevertheless I drove Monica home and ended up missing my first period.

  I went to the bathroom when I got to school and ran into Michelle. She ignored my smile when I walked in. I wondered why I had smiled anyway. I took my hairbrush out of my purse, and Michelle ran into one of the stalls and started making funny noises. “Are you okay?” I asked.

  She hadn’t locked the door so I popped my head in, she was being sick. I tried not to think about bulimia and anorexia. She could just have food poisoning or a stomach bug. I went back to the mirror and tied my hair up. Maybe she was pregnant.

  “Are you okay?” I asked again when Michelle came out of the stall.

  “Why would you care?” she snapped. She rinsed her mouth out at the sink.

  I took my mascara and lipgloss out of my purse. I hadn’t put any makeup on that morning. I usually didn’t wear much, but my hair was wild today. I felt I needed to compensate somehow.

  “I think I must have the most pathetic life ever,” Michelle grumbled, spitting out tap water.

  I was going to ignore her, but she was obviously feeling unwell. “No, you don’t,” I said, although I didn’t really know whether she did or not.

  “I do, and I feel so depressed today.”

  I brushed on some mascara. Did I look like her agony aunt? As for being depressed, she should be. She made all the other girls in the school miserable. She went back to the stall she’d been retching in and locked the door.

  The bathroom door opened and Sandy skipped in. “Have you seen Michelle?”

  I pointed at the locked stall.

  She knocked on the door. “Come out, Michelle.” There was no answer. Sandy took a nickel out of her purse and started fiddling with the lock. She managed to unlock the door. “Michelle, don’t worry. I’ll help you out. You’ll be fine.”

  Sandy pulled Michelle out of the stall. I watched them in the mirror. Michelle was crying. She took a crumpled piece of paper out of her purse and handed it to Sandy.

  Sandy unfolded the paper while glaring at Michelle sternly. “You’ve been drinking. You’re going to get into trouble, you know?” She looked at the paper briefly then folded it back up. “It doesn’t matter, Michelle.” She placed it back in Michelle’s purse. “It’s not the end of the world just because you failed one paper. Who cares about geography anyway? It’s easy once you get the right books.”

  “It’s not one paper, Sandy,” Michelle choked. “I know I’ll fail English Literature too, and I don’t even want to think about economics.”

  “Well, couldn’t you get Matt to tutor you? Isn’t he supposed to be good at geography? And Jace can help you with economics. I’ll help with English Literature.” Sandy pulled her into a hug. “It’s okay, Michelle. Between me, Matt, and Jace, we should be able to work something out.”

  “I hate Matt,” Michelle spat, anger flashing in her eyes.

  “Why?”

  She pulled away from Sandy and drew in a ragged breath. “I’ve already tried the whole ‘I need a tutor’ thing to get him to hang out with me, but instead of making out like I thought we would, we actually studied. And I felt so stupid coz he was trying to explain things to me, and I just wasn’t getting it.”

  Sandy laughed. “You know he’s religious. Anyway, I have to go now, but I’ll stop by your house tonight, okay? And we’ll work something out. You’ll be fine.”

  “Okay.”

  Sandy left, and I prepared to leave myself. I dusted my cheeks with rose blush, and then put the compact back into my purse.

  Michelle sank to the floor. I watched her in the mirror. Her shoulders shook with silent but pretty violent sobs. She wiped at her eyes smearing her mascara all over the place. Now I was freaked out. What was up with her? Didn’t she know that someone could walk in? Didn’t she remember that I was there? Like, hello! I felt like crying sometimes too, but I always held it in until I got home.

  I really just wanted to leave, but I knew I’d feel mean if I left her there on her own. I passed her a tissue. She snatched it from me and blew her red nose. “I hate myself. I look in the mirror, and I feel sick just looking at myself,” she wailed.

  “But you’re really pretty, Michelle.”

  She looked at me scornfully. “Oh, yeah, I’m really going to write that in my college application.” She wadded up her tissue and tossed it at the garbage. It missed and bounced against the wall. “I wish I could just pop some pills and put an end to all this,” she said in a low rasp that scared me. “But I’m too much of a wimp to do it.”

  Okay, now she had me worried. “Michelle, how can you say that?”

  She burst into tears again. I knelt on the floor beside her and pulled her into an awkward hug. She smelled of alcohol.

  She pulled away and grabbed her purse. “I’m going home.”

  “I don’t think you can drive in this state.”

  Michelle smiled sweetly, but it didn’t reach her cold, blue eyes. “You want to give me a ride, or do you only offer those services to Jace?”

  Okay, she was suffering from drunken depression, but I still wanted to give her a piece of my mind for that.

  I called her a taxi and waited with her outside until it arrived. I spent the rest of the morning and the whole of lunchtime in the library. It could have been a very productive three hours had I been in the mood to study. I ended up on the Internet checking out shoes and purses. I had literature after lunch. After that I decided to go home.

  Sandy was rooting in her locker when I got to our locker-lined corridor. “Michelle went home,” I informed her.

  Sandy looked concerned. “I’ll stop by her place tonight when I leave the library. I’m getting worried about her.”

  “You go to the library?”

  “Yeah, I’m not just a pretty face,” she joked.

  I threw my books into my locker and shut it. “I’ve had enough of that library, and I’m not doing any work tonight. I don’t think I have the presence of mind to do anything.”
r />   “I feel like that too, but sometimes, you’ve just got to get on with it. I don’t go to the school library. My cousin goes to UCLA, so I go to the campus library with her. It’s great, and we can study for hours without even realizing. Plus, if we need a break, there’s a refreshment area and lots of hot college guys to look at.” She winked.

  “Sounds pretty cool.”

  “It is. Gotta run, Lexi. Got art now. Mr. Archer ain’t a patient person.”

  “Later.”

  I felt guilty as I made my way outside. I just hoped I didn’t get caught. The last thing my mom needed was a call from the school about me breaking the rules. I went out through the front exit near the school office. If anyone stopped me, I’d just say I was going to get a book from my car.

  Jace was standing by the front gates. The swine! He turned when he heard my two-inch heels clicking on the bricked sidewalk. I looked in a totally different direction as I headed for the back parking lot.

  “Lexi,” he called. “I’ve got your notes.”

  I stopped, and he ran over, looking in his bag for the notes. I expected them to be all crumpled up, but when he produced them, they were intact.

  I stuffed them into my purse. “Thanks.”

  “Why are you leaving?”

  “I don’t have any more classes.”

  “You’re still supposed to stay.”

  “Well, why are you leaving early?” I countered.

  “Because I want to.”

  “Well, I’m leaving because I want to, too.”

  “Are you going home?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Would it be cheeky of me to ask for a ride?”

  I narrowed my eyes. “Couldn’t you get a chauffeur to take you everywhere you need to go? It’s not like you can’t afford it.”

  “I’m not enough of a snob to do that. And I don’t want to be the entertainment news headlines.”

  “I am not taking you home just to get lost coming back again.” I sounded like I meant it, but I knew I couldn’t turn him down.

  “I’m not going home. I’m going to Bridge Community Church.”

  That was Aunt Milly’s church. I pretended to consider it. “Okay, it’s on my way. Cancel your cab.”

  “I haven’t called one yet. I was just debating whether or not to walk, since it’s not that far.”