Raw Deal (Beauty for Ashes: Book One)

by Dayo Benson

  I sent Dan a message and told him about what Carl had said about running his plate number.

  He replied saying that I shouldn’t worry about Carl’s threat, because it was in his dad’s name. Carl wouldn’t be able to get any information about it for security purposes.

  ***

  I sat at the table with Carl and his family, quietly enduring the torture of having to smile and appear as though all was well. I gave Carl a saccharine sweet smile when he called me sweetheart and asked me to pass the salad bowl.

  His mom looked delighted. “I thought it might be a mistake, you guys getting married so young. But I can see that you really love each other, it’s not just puppy love.”

  Carl gave me a dazzling smile, and I gritted my teeth. “I really love Lexi, Mom. She’s great.”

  It was a great effort for me not to roll my eyes. My phone started to ring, and I excused myself from the table. I knew it was pretty rude, but I had to get away. Besides, I didn’t recognize the number. It might be Sheena. “Hello?”

  “Lexi, how you doin’?” It was Dan.

  I went outside to the patio. “Dan, I can’t talk now, I’m having lunch with Carl and his parents.”

  “Oh, well, I’ll call you later.”

  “Don’t, please. Carl will freak out. I’ll call you when I get a chance.”

  “Okay.”

  I hung up and stored Dan’s number as Jan. Just so that next time I’d know it was him and not pick up.

  “Who was that?” Carl asked when I got back to the table.

  “Just my mom.”

  “Oh, can I have her number,” Carl’s mom asked. “I’d like to invite her over if she wouldn’t mind. It’s shameful that you two are married and she and I still don’t really know each other.”

  “Sure, I’ll give it to you later,” I agreed. I smiled at Carl’s dad from whom Carl got his eyes and height. I wondered if Carl got his violent temper from him too.

  Chapter 57

  On Monday morning, I went to college early and sat at the front of the lecture hall. I had to catch Sam Foster on his way in so that I could get Shawna’s number. I still felt that unexplainable urge to speak to her.

  I hoped Sam would be on time so that I could get the number and then move to the back of the hall before Professor Jackson came in.

  Unfortunately for me, Professor Jackson arrived first. He sauntered into the room in a black classic Armani suit, and a hush fell over the class. He set his briefcase on the table and looked at his watch. “I wonder why only half of you are here. Where’s everyone else?” He looked around. “Well, I did announce on Friday that my revision classes will start at exactly nine o clock, and that any late comers will be denied entrance. So let’s begin.”

  He paused when he saw me. I dropped my gaze immediately before he saw me looking and thought I was still interested in him, when really I was only checking out his clothes.

  Just then, Sam Foster burst into the class. Professor Jackson looked at him and then at his watch. “It’s nine on the dot. You can come in.”

  “Thanks, Mark,” Sam said. I waved to him, and he came to sit next to me.

  Professor Jackson pointed at a big burly bald-headed guy. “You stand at the door for me and turn away everyone who tries to get in. Don’t worry about taking any notes, I’ll give you a set when we finish.”

  The guy nodded and went to stand by the door to act as bouncer.

  “I need to see you when we finish,” I whispered to Sam.

  “Okay.”

  Professor Jackson looked over at us. “May I have your attention please?”

  I took out my pen, and stole a piece of paper from Sam. I’d forgotten to bring mine. I tried to focus and take notes during the class, but my mind kept drifting off to other things. At one point, Sam nudged me, and I snapped back to attention.

  “Are you okay?”

  I smiled at him. “Sure, I’ve just got stuff on my mind.”

  Professor Jackson looked at us. “Lexi, you can talk to your boyfriend afterwards. For now, pay attention.”

  “I’m not her boyfriend,” Sam corrected, and there was a hum of suppressed laughter all over the room.

  Professor Jackson continued. At the end of the class, I was waiting for Sam while he packed his things when Professor Jackson approached us. “I’d like to see you later in my office.”

  “Who, me?” Sam asked.

  “No, just Lexi.”

  I frowned. What did Professor Mark Jackson think he was playing at?

  “Hurry up,” I urged Sam when Professor Jackson returned to his desk to attend to some students who were waiting to see him. “I have to get out of here.”

  “What’s up?”

  “Quit asking me that.”

  “Well, you seem like you’re on edge. Shoot me for being concerned.” He swung his book bag over his shoulder. “Okay, let’s go.”

  “Concerned? You don’t even know me.” I deliberately didn’t look at Professor Jackson as we walked past him on our way out of the lecture hall.

  “Do I have to know you to care about you?” Sam asked holding the door for me.

  “I don’t see how you can care about someone you don’t know. I sure don’t really care about anyone but myself and my mom.”

  “What about the starving kids you see on TV? Don’t you care about them?”

  “That’s different.”

  “Not really. I see you as a starving child that needs help.”

  I snorted. “Well, I’m not a child, and I’m not starving.”

  “Not physically, but your soul is starving.”

  “Whatever.” I followed Sam down the corridor to the private study room. “What are we coming here for?” I asked.

  “I’m meeting Shawna here. Anyway you said you wanted to see me?”

  “Yeah, I wanted to get Shawna’s number, but since she’s coming I guess I should wait and get it from her directly.”

  We sat down at a table, and I looked around at the other people that were in the study area. “So is this where the geeks gather?”

  “I guess, but not during lunchtime because the non-geeks flock in and make it like another cafeteria.” Sam started unpacking his books. “So where’ve you been? I haven’t seen you since you came to my apartment.”

  “I’ve been studying at home.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I haven’t felt like going to classes.”

  “Why?”

  “I’ve got stuff going on that I can’t tell you,” I said with a deliberately fake smile. We both looked toward the door as it opened and Shawna entered the study area. Sam waved her over.

  “Lexi!” She trilled taking the seat next to me. “How’s you?”

  “I’m good.”

  “She wants your number,” Sam said.

  Shawna raised her eyebrows questioningly, and I felt silly. Why did I want her number? Why did I want to talk to her? What did I want to talk to her about?

  “Sure.” Shawna dug into her purse and found her cell phone. “Give me your number too.”

  We exchanged numbers then Shawna waved at someone across the room. It was Dan Black.

  He came over. “Hey, ya’ll.”

  “Do you guys know each other?” I asked.

  “Yeah, Shawna is in some of my classes,” Dan said. “How bad was that revision class just then?” he asked Shawna. “I should have just stayed home and studied on my own. I would have got more done.”

  “Yeah, she was pretty bad. She nearly confused me,” Shawna agreed. “So you know Lexi?”

  “Yes, she’s gorgeous, isn’t she?” Dan said.

  “Very,” Shawna agreed with a laugh. “How do you know each other?”

  “We used to be roommates.”

  “We lived on the same floor,” I clarified.

  “I nearly split her and Carl up for good,” Dan said. “I should have tried harder. Maybe we’d still be together.”

  “Did you used to date?” Shawna asked.
<
br />   “Yeah, we had a hot relationship for a while.”

  “Dan, please.”

  Shawna looked from me to Dan and smiled but made no comment. She exchanged a look with Sam.

  “Lexi, remember Professor Jackson wanted to see you,” Sam reminded me.

  “I’m not going.”

  “Why not? He might want to give you some handouts since you’ve missed so much.”

  “You gave me all the handouts, and believe me, it’s nothing to do with class handouts.”

  “Don’t tell me he’s been trying it with you too,” Shawna said, shaking her head. “He was on one of my girlfriend’s back the whole of last semester. That man needs to be reported.”

  “Has he been harassing you?” Dan asked, a dangerous edge to his voice.

  “No,” I denied.

  “Tell me, Lexi.”

  I frowned at him. “I can handle my business, Dan.” I pushed away from the table and stood up. “I’m outta here. Shawna, I’ll text you later.”

  “Okay.”

  I waggled my fingers at Sam and then left the private study. Carl was still in when I got home.

  “Why didn’t you wake me up?” he demanded, hurriedly buttoning up his shirt. “I can’t believe I slept this late!”

  “I left early.”

  “Oh, by the way, we’re invited to Matt and Michelle’s wedding in July.” Carl pointed to a peach envelope on the dresser. “It came this morning.”

  I picked it up and read it. “It’s only addressed to you.”

  “Well, they don’t know we’re married, do they?”

  When Carl left, I called my mom to see if Matt and Michelle had sent my invitation to my home address. She said a peach envelope had arrived for me that morning. I asked her to open it and read it to me. It was an invitation to the wedding.

  I hung up and lay on the bed. Jace would be at the wedding. I didn’t know why, but the thought of seeing him again made something within me shift ever so slightly. I decided not to analyze it. But since he was going to be there, I was going to make sure I looked super hot, just to show him what he’d let slip through his fingers.

  Chapter 58

  I stepped out of the shower and was surprised to hear that someone was knocking on the front door. I walked through to the den and saw that it was past six. I pulled my towel tighter around me and went to open the door.

  “Oh, hi, Shawna,” I said taken aback. “How did you know where I live?”

  Shawna smiled apologetically. “I’m so sorry, Lexi. Dan dropped me off, and I asked at the security desk downstairs for your apartment number. I hope you don’t mind.”

  I didn’t know whether I minded or not. I was just surprised to see her on my doorstep uninvited.

  “Can I come in, or is this a bad time?” Shawna asked when I remained silent.

  “No, come in.”

  “Is Carl in?” Shawna asked stepping into the little hallway.

  “No.” I shut the door and led the way to the den. “I can’t believe security told you my apartment number without calling to ask me, which is the usual protocol.”

  “Oh. Well, I guess I’m to blame, because I was all smiling and tossing my hair.”

  I laughed. “Works every time. Have a seat. I’ll just go put some clothes on.”

  I went to the bedroom and put on a pair of shorts and a tank top. I dried my hair as quickly as I could then slapped on some makeup. My bruises had faded a lot, so I didn’t need as much.

  “Where’s Sam?” I asked when I rejoined Shawna in the den.

  “He’s still at the library. He’ll probably do another all-nighter.”

  “Wow, some people are really good at this studying thing. As for me, I can barely concentrate for ten minutes at a time.” I switched on the TV.

  “So how are you?” Shawna asked.

  “Fine.”

  “Forgive me for saying this,” Shawna said hesitantly, and I raised an eyebrow. “But I sense that you’re going through a difficult time?”

  “Everyone goes through difficult times.” I’d been wanting to talk to Shawna, but now that she was actually sitting in my living room wanting to listen, I found that I didn’t want to tell her anything anymore. My issues were personal, and I didn’t need anyone getting all holier than thou on me just because they were fixed up now and I was still a mess.

  “So tell me. I’m all ears. And I promise to do all within my power to help you out,” Shawna said encouragingly.

  “There’s not really much to say.”

  We both fell silent. Shawna looked around the room, her eyes settling momentarily on the clock. “Um, what happened to your face?”

  I frowned.

  “It was a bit bruised when you opened the door before.”

  “I fell.”

  Shawna looked unconvinced. “Really? Must’ve been pretty bad.”

  Now I felt annoyed. Couldn’t she just mind her business?

  “Are you okay, Lexi?”

  “Yes.” I got up and went to the kitchen, wishing she would just leave.

  “I’m sorry. I guess I should just go,” Shawna said, following me into the kitchen a few minutes later.

  My eyes glazed over with tears, and I covered my face.

  Shawna came and put her arms around me. “It’s okay, Lexi. Don’t cry.”

  I sobbed into her hair, wishing I could just pull myself together and stop it, but for some reason, I couldn’t.

  “Was it Carl?” Shawna asked. “Just say yes or no, and I won’t ask anything else about it.”

  I nodded, and she gripped me tighter. “Don’t cry, Lexi. I’m sure you’ve already cried about it a million times. It’s time to be strong and figure out what to do about it.”

  I pulled away and choked back my tears. Shawna passed me a kitchen towel, and I used it to wipe my face. “I think I’m just going to get a divorce. I just wish we’d never got married.”

  “What time will he be home?” Shawna asked.

  “I don’t know. He comes home whenever he feels like.”

  “Will he mind me being here if he gets home before I leave?”

  “No.”

  “So, is it a frequent thing?”

  “I thought you weren’t going to ask.”

  “I know, sorry.”

  I poured myself a glass of water and downed it.

  “I hope he doesn’t just do it out of being drunk or anything. I know there’s never any good reason for something like this, but I hope there was some kind of reason, not just blind madness?”

  “Shawna, don’t ask. You really don’t want to know.”

  “I do. I’m concerned, Lexi.”

  “Well, don’t be.”

  “Too late, I already am.” Shawna took my hands and squeezed them. “But if you don’t want to tell me that’s fine.”

  “I don’t even know where to start.”

  “Start from the very beginning.”

  I grunted. “Let’s go back to the den.”

  I told Shawna about how Carl and I had dated in high school and broken up until we met again at college. I told her about Dan and Hawaii and getting pregnant and not knowing whose it was. I told her about my abortion and the string of lies I’d told Carl, and about how he’d found out about it.

  She was quiet when I finished. “So I guess I can’t really blame him for anything, I brought it all upon myself with my lies.”

  “Oh, Lexi.”

  “I want a divorce.”

  Shawna was quiet. I wondered what she was thinking.

  “By the way, before I forget,” she said eventually. “I hope everything is okay with Professor Jackson?”

  “Why?”

  “Just the way you sounded this morning. I know what he’s like because one of my friends got caught in his web last semester.”

  “Oh,” I shrugged. “Well, it was just stupidity. I’m not caught in his web or anything. I don’t even know why I did it. I actually don’t cheat on Carl, but last week, I think I just snapped
.”

  “He needs to be reported.”

  “Well, I’m as much to blame as he is. I didn’t have to go his condo; he didn’t force me.”

  “He’s still out of order,” Shawna said. “Dan was going mad about it. After you left, he wanted to go to his office.”

  Shawna grinned when I didn’t respond. “You still like Dan.”

  “Yeah,” I admitted. I told her about what he’d said to me on Saturday evening when he brought me home. “If I’d known how he felt, I wouldn’t have married Carl.”

  “You have to stay away from him,” Shawna said warningly. “Let Professor Jackson be the only incident on your cheating record. Don’t add to it.”

  “Carl cheats on me,” I protested.

  “Two wrongs don’t make a right.”

  “Well, who says it’s not right?”

  “God.”

  “I don’t believe in God.”

  “Doesn’t matter, you still have the conscience He gave you, and you know deep down that cheating is not right.”

  “I thought about God a lot last week,” I confessed. “But I don’t know if I really want to be a Christian. Basically, I’m at a point where I’m open to anything that will sort out my miserable life, but I want to be sure that I won’t be wasting my time, that God will definitely help me. If He’s there.”

  “He is there, and sure He’ll help you. I was a lot more messed up than you.”

  My eyes filled up. I didn’t know if there was a God or not, and here I was hoping He would help me. What if He was just a myth?

  “Lexi, I struggled with believing that God exists too. I struggled with the fact that there are so many religions, so how do you know which one is right? In fact, I started trying to study all the religions so that I could choose whichever one seemed like the truth.”

  Now there was a thought. “Oh, right, so you can just choose? Cool, because I might go for something a bit more exotic.”

  “No.” Shawna smiled. “Jesus is the only way. You can only come to God if your sins are dealt with. Jesus decided that instead of you taking the consequence of your sin in hell, He would stand in your place and take the consequences for you.”