“It can, though not always,” she said, calmly confirming my worst fear. “But there are other options, such as in vitro fertilization or surrogacy.”
My friend and her husband had already tried in vitro three times with no success. After years of disappointment and heartbreak, they were losing hope.
“I know you must have a lot of questions.” She passed me some pamphlets. “I’d like you to read these, visit the websites, collect as much information as you can from these reliable sources.” She scribbled a prescription on her notepad. “Take this as needed, and schedule a follow-up appointment with me in a week or so. Then we can discuss your concerns in more detail.”
“Okay.” My hands trembled as I took the papers. I couldn’t shake the feeling that she’d just handed me news that would change the course of my life.
***
Walking through baby boutiques with my glowing cousin after getting the news I’d just received was torture, but I wasn’t ready to tell anyone about it. I hadn’t even begun to process it myself yet. I knew how excited Tiana and her husband were about the baby she was expecting, and I didn’t want her to feel uncomfortable sharing her enthusiasm with me, so I’d already decided I wouldn’t tell her about my diagnosis until after the baby was born.
“Oh my God,” Tiana squealed, holding up a frilly pink dress with a matching hat. “Isn’t this the most adorable thing you’ve ever seen?”
“It’s pretty cute,” I said, forcing a smile.
“I’m glad she’s due in the early fall. That way I won’t have to bundle her up too much when we bring her home. This would be perfect for bringing her home from the hospital, don’t you think?”
“I do.” I thumbed through a rack of unisex outfits that looked suitable for special occasions. “Is Blake happy you’re having a girl, or was he hoping for a boy?”
“He said it didn’t matter to him either way as long as the baby was healthy.”
I normally would have thought that was just a line expectant parents threw out because that’s what people expected them to say, but in Blake’s case, I believed it was true. He wanted a baby almost as much as my cousins Deacon and Damon. It made me think of Dustin and how disappointed he would be if he could never have a child because of my fertility problems. I couldn’t be that selfish, sentencing him to life without a family just because I may be barren.
“Hey, are you okay?” Tiana asked, grabbing my arm. “You’ve been kind of quiet. Is something on your mind?”
Since I hadn’t told her about the time I’d been spending with Dustin, I knew she would accept that as a reasonable excuse for my wandering mind. “I’ve been seeing someone.”
“Who is it?” she asked, holding the tiny dress against her protruding abdomen. “Do I know him?”
“Uh, yeah, you do. It’s Dustin.”
Her eyes widened as she dug her nails into my forearm. Thankfully they were short. “Not your ex-fiancé, Dustin?”
I didn’t know any other men with that name, and I didn’t think she did either. “Yup.”
“Wait a minute,” she said, shaking her head as confusion drew her arched brows together. “I thought he was engaged.”
“He was, but it didn’t work out.” I didn’t feel like telling her I may have been the reason it didn’t work out. I felt bad enough for causing Jana pain.
“I can’t believe this,” she said, walking slowly to the cash register. “Why didn’t you tell me about this? This is big, really big. How could you keep it to yourself?”
“I wasn’t keeping it to myself,” I said, picking up a tiny pair of pink booties from a rack by the register. God, they were so adorable it hurt just to look at them. “This is the first time we’ve seen each other since Dustin and I started dating again.”
Tiana was occupied paying for her purchases, which gave me a reprieve from answering questions and a chance to wander around the upscale boutique. I picked up a soft white bear and brought it to my lips, imagining a perfect little baby reaching for it with that toothless smile that made me feel all gushy inside. I hadn’t realized how much I wanted a baby until the doctor had told me I may never have one. I knew my case wasn’t considered severe yet, and judging by the pamphlets I’d scanned, it may have still been possible to conceive naturally, but I didn’t like my odds.
I thought of that big beautiful house Dustin was building and the children he hoped to fill it with. It would devastate him to learn that the woman he’d allowed himself to fall in love with all over again couldn’t give them to him. God, what would I do? How could I tell him about this? Would I lose him? Or would he tell me it was fine, that we would get through it, just to placate me while silently wondering what the hell he’d gotten himself into? I couldn’t do that to him. I wouldn’t do that to him.
“Are you ready to go?” Tiana asked, appearing with a white shopping bag stuffed with pink and blue tissue paper. “I thought we could have lunch next door if that’s okay with you? I’ve been craving Italian all day.”
I didn’t think I could eat a bite, but I didn’t want to ruin our plans. “Uh, sure, that sounds good.”
Thankfully, they weren’t very busy and could seat us quickly. We each ordered a sparkling water and salad to start, so we had a few minutes alone before the waiter returned.
“Can I ask you something, Tiana?”
“Anything,” she said, smoothing the napkin in her lap.
“Knowing how much Blake wanted kids, would you have married him if you were infertile?”
She frowned. “Why are you asking me this?”
I had to come up with an answer that would satisfy her without raising her suspicions. “Um, you know my friend Sarah, from college?”
“Sure.”
“She has endometriosis, and she and her husband have been trying to conceive for a few years now. They haven’t been able to, even though they’ve tried in vitro.”
“Oh, that’s too bad,” Tiana said, smiling at the waiter who delivered our drinks. “I’ve always thought it was so sad that couples who really want to have kids and would make great parents can’t while teenagers who don’t know the first thing about caring for a baby get pregnant by mistake. I guess that’s why adoption and surrogacy are such great options for some couples, right?”
“Yeah.” But she still hadn’t answered my question. “So Sarah said that she hated putting her husband through this, that if she’d known she couldn’t get pregnant, she may not have married him.” I wasn’t saying anything that wasn’t true. Sarah had confided in me that she sometimes felt guilty for marrying Paul and making her problems his problems. “I was just thinking about that. You’re married with a baby on the way, but how would you feel in her position?”
“That’s a difficult question to answer,” Tiana said, looking thoughtful. “I love Blake and couldn’t imagine being with anyone else, but he made no secret of the fact he couldn’t wait to have kids. If I’d known before we got married that I had a medical condition that prevented us from having a family, I don’t know if I would have been able to go through with it.”
That only made me feel worse because I happened to share her opinion. “Because you would have known that he would have been making a huge sacrifice to be with you?”
“Yeah.” Tiana shrugged. “But who am I to say, right? It’s different for every couple.”
“I guess.” I reached for my water glass, wondering how I would face Dustin that night without falling apart.
Chapter Fifteen
Dustin
Since Kara had told me she had a lunch date with her cousin, I thought it was safe to show up at their job site to steal a few minutes with Darius and Cat before I headed back to the Hamptons.
The first person I saw when I walked through the door was Chase, who promptly handed me a hard hat. “You know the drill.”
I put it on with a grin before shaking his hand. “I was hoping to grab a quick bite with Darius and Cat. They around?”
“You want to tal
k to them about your plan?” Chase asked, pocketing his cell phone.
“Yeah, I just want to get their take on it.” I looked around the huge restaurant, admiring the design. I’d been to several of their upscale steakhouses over the years, and they all had the same feel, but I suspected this location would be a little more urbane to suit the local clientele.
“It’s gonna be something, isn’t it?” Chase said, walking me into a more enclosed area that I assumed would be the dining room.
“Yeah. They used Walters as the architect on this project, didn’t they?” Our paths had crossed at various trade shows, and he’d told me he’d been working with the family for several years. He’d also told me the daughters were gorgeous, to which I offered a tight smile before excusing myself.
“They did,” Chase said, nodding. “He’s damn good too. I’ve never worked with him before, but he sure as hell made my job easier.”
“I’m kind of surprised to see you here,” I said, nudging him in the rib with my elbow. “Since when does the big boss spend his time on-site?” I knew he was there because of Cat. He had a large crew working on the project, with at least one man who appeared to be a foreman, not to mention Kara and her brother overseeing the project on behalf of their company.
“This is a big job,” he said, clearing his throat as his gaze drifted to Cat, who was standing at the back of the room and talking to a man wearing a tool belt, work boots, and a hard hat. “I just want to make sure we’re on schedule.”
“Right.” When he glared at me, I held up my hands. “Hey, I don’t blame you, man. I’d probably play it the same way if it were Kara.”
“Hey, buddy,” Darius said, slapping my back as he came up behind me. “Good to see you. What brings you by?”
I shook his hand, grateful that he’d approached me before Catia did. I wanted to talk to Darius first. Since Cat and Kara lived together, I knew Kara had filled her sister in on our relationship, but I didn’t know how much Darius knew. I wanted to be the one to tell him, in deference to our friendship.
“I’ve got to get out of here. I need to check on another job.” To Darius, Chase said, “I’ll be back before the end of the day.” He shook my hand again. “Good to see you again, Dustin. Good luck with your plans.”
“Thanks.”
“I didn’t know you two knew each other,” Darius said when Chase left.
“You know how it is,” I said. “We kind of travel in the same circles in this business.”
“He’s a solid guy,” Darius said, crossing his arms as he frowned at his sister. She was still talking to the same man, laughing at something he’d said. “I like him.”
“I do too. But you don’t like him?” I asked, nodding toward Kara’s companion.
“He’s a dirtbag. I overheard him tell his buddies that he banged my sister when they went out clubbing the other night.”
“And you didn’t knock his teeth out?” Darius had always been a hothead, and I couldn’t believe he’d changed that much over the years.
“Believe me, I wanted to, but Catia hauled me away.”
It was none of my business, but I couldn’t believe Cat would condone any man talking about her that way. I was anxious to change the subject since Darius seemed to be rethinking his decision to let the man’s words go. “So listen, I don’t know if you know this, but I’ve been seeing Kara.”
“Wait a minute, what?” Darius removed his hardhat and swiped a hand over his forehead. “Did I just hear you right? You’re dating my sister? You just broke up with your fiancée.”
I understood that Darius was protective of his sisters, but no one could make me feel guilty for going after what I wanted. Kara and I belonged together, and no one would convince me otherwise. Not even her brother. “I know it seems like it happened fast—”
“It did,” Darius said. “Too fast, if you ask me. I don’t want Kara to be your rebound—”
“Don’t be an idiot,” I said, feeling my blood pressure rising. “This is Kara we’re talking about, not some girl I just met. You think I’d be getting involved with her again if I wasn’t serious about her?”
“I don’t know what the hell to think.”
“Maybe this’ll help convince you.” I sighed. I hadn’t intended to bring it up this way, but Darius was backing me into a corner, challenging me to put up or shut up. “I want to open another office here so I can be close to your sister.”
“Seriously?”
I’d known that would get his attention. “Yeah. Actually, I’ll be looking for projects in the Hamptons, so I’ll probably look for office space in West Hampshire or Southampton.”
“Wow. It still seems like this is all happening pretty fast, Dustin. Are you sure about this? This is your career we’re talking about. You didn’t get where you are by making decisions on a whim.”
I appreciated him looking out for me, but I’d never been surer about anything in my life. The more I thought about it, the more convinced I was that Kara and I could build a great life and business together here with the help of her siblings. “I know what I’m doing. What I need to know is what you plan to do. Kara said this will be the last Starkis restaurant for a while, which means you and Cat will have to make other plans, right?”
“Yeah. I’ve been putting that on the back burner though. We’ve had a few delays on this project, so we’re looking at another nine months, at least.”
“Still, it’s not too soon to start considering your options, is it?”
“What have you got in mind?”
At least he sounded interested. That had to be a good sign. “You, me, Kara, and Cat would make a hell of a team. You and Cat have experience on the construction side of the things; Kara and I have experience on the design side of things. We all have the reputations and connections to pull this off.”
“You want us to go into business together?”
“Yeah, what do you think?”
“I’m definitely interested, but what does Kara think? I mean, are you guys there yet? Is she ready to go all in so soon?”
That was a legitimate question. If we worked together, we would put all of our professional reputations on the line, and if the relationship between Kara and me went south, the business could too. “I wanted to talk to you and Cat before I discussed it with Kara, but I really think she’ll like the idea.”
“Talk to Cat about what?” Catia hugged me and kissed me on both cheeks. “What will my sister like?”
“I’ll leave you to fill her in. I’ve got to get back to work, but if the girls are in, so am I, Dustin.” Darius shook my hand. “This is a great opportunity, thanks.”
“My pleasure.”
“What was that all about?” Catia asked.
“Do you have time to grab a coffee with me?” The noise was starting to give me a headache. Besides, I wanted to talk to Cat about a few personal issues as well and didn’t need an audience.
“I could definitely use a caffeine fix,” she said, tossing her pink hardhat aside and fluffing her hair. “Let’s go next door. They make a decent espresso, not too bitter.”
I followed Catia next door, glaring at the men checking her out when she walked into the coffee shop. I still felt protective of her, as though she were my little sister, and given Chase’s feelings for her, I felt I owed it to him to watch out for her.
After we’d placed our orders and snagged the only free table in the crowded café, Cat didn’t waste any time offering her opinion about my relationship with her sister, not that I was surprised. Cat was a strong, opinionated woman who said what she thought, no matter who agreed or disagreed.
“So I guess I have you to thank for putting that perma-smile on my sister’s face, huh?”
I stirred some sugar into my cup, trying unsuccessfully to contain my smile. “What do you mean?”
“It’s been a long time since I’ve seen her this happy,” she said, fixing me with an intense stare. “Which means you’ve made her this happy, so you have th
e potential to make her equally as sad.”
“I know what you’re going to say—”
“No, you don’t. I’ve always loved you like a brother. I haven’t met very many men that I trust as much as you, but I saw what Kara went through the last time you guys broke up. I’m not going to lie, I’m scared for her, for both of you.”
Cat had a right to be concerned, but I was determined to put her mind at ease. “She wasn’t the only one hurting. I barely survived the last time. Don’t think I’d be doing this if I wasn’t sure of the outcome.”
“How can you be so sure?” Cat asked, folding her arms. “You knew the girl. You’re still getting to know the woman.”
She was right, but from what I’d seen, Kara hadn’t changed as much as everyone seemed to think. Her values and morals were the same. Who she was as a person, at the core, hadn’t changed. She was a little more playful, more willing to take risks and step out of her comfort zone, but in my mind, that only made us more perfect for each other.
“I know all I need to know to be certain that she’s the one for me. I’m not going to deny that we both made mistakes last time. I pushed too hard. She was too quick to pull back. I reacted because I was hurt instead of doing what I should have, which was fight like hell to save our relationship. I can promise you I won’t make that mistake again.”
She smiled as she brought her cup to her lips. “Glad to hear it because for what it’s worth, I not only love you for my sister, I genuinely love you, Dustin. I’ve missed having you in our lives. Nothing has been the same without you.”
I reached across the table and grabbed her hand to kiss it as I battled my emotions at her heartfelt words. Catia wasn’t the type to gush about love and feelings, so when she did, I felt the power of her words. “I love you too, girl. You know that.”
She glanced up when the man she’d been talking to at the restaurant walked in, the one Darius had referred to as a dirtbag.
“What’s the deal with you and that guy?” I asked, giving him a dirty look. If I’d heard him say those things about Cat, I didn’t think anyone would have been able to peel me off him.
Kara (Starkis Family #4) Page 14