“We just went out once,” she said, shrugging. “No big deal.”
“You deserve someone who’s going to respect you, Cat. It doesn’t sound like this chump does.” I didn’t bother pointing out that they were worlds apart. He was clearly blue collar, while Catia had blue blood coursing through her veins. Not that I was surprised. Growing up, she’d dated all the cute guys, from lifeguards to waiters and bartenders in the local restaurants. I’d assumed she was doing it to make her parents crazy, but the fact that she was still doing it proved to me she really didn’t care about appearances. I had to admit I respected her even more for that.
“Please,” she said, rolling her eyes. “I’m not going to marry him. We’re just having a little fun, and if he steps out of line, you know I’ll have no problem putting him in his place.”
“Does that mean you haven’t slept with him?” She could tell me to mind my own business, but we used to be close enough to talk about anything, and I hoped that was still the case.
“No way.” She laughed. “I do have my standards.”
“Glad to hear it.” As long as we were on the subject of her love life, I couldn’t let it go without putting in a good word for my friend. “I’ve known Chase a long time. He’s a hell of a guy.”
She groaned, dropping her head. “Not you too. I get enough of that from Kara and Darius.”
“Could be if the people who love you and know Chase are telling you that he’d be good for you, maybe you should listen.”
“He’s divorced.”
“So?”
“So that probably means he’s the kind of man who’s looking for that kind of life. You know what I mean. The little wife at home, making dinner, stocking the fridge, cleaning up after him, looking after his kids. That’s not me. Never will be.”
I knew Cat was a free spirit, but I’d always believed a bigger part of her valued family and stability. “Maybe you could find a compromise with someone like Chase?”
“What kind of compromise?” she asked, looking amused.
“You could hire a nanny, a housekeeper, so that you could keep working. Being married and having a family doesn’t mean you have to sacrifice your identity, Cat.”
“You think that way because you’re an intelligent, modern man. But I swear Chase is as traditional as my father, and he’s not even Greek!” She laughed. “Do you know that he married his high school sweetheart and she never worked outside the home when they were together? She still doesn’t.”
I thought that made Chase a stand-up guy, being willing to support his wife and kids because that was the promise he’d made to them, but Cat obviously didn’t see it the same way. “I guess it’s a choice, right?”
“It absolutely is. And don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with it. For some women, it works. That’s the life that makes them happy, and I say more power to them, but that’s not what works for me.”
“And you think Chase is looking for someone like his ex-wife?” I thought she had it all wrong. There was a reason things hadn’t worked out between Chase and his ex, and I suspected he may have been looking for someone entirely different this time around. Someone more like Cat, maybe.
“I don’t know what the hell he’s looking for, and it doesn’t even matter.” She raked a hand through her long dark hair, pushing it back off her face. “I’ll be here for a few more months, then I’m moving back to Chicago.”
“Are you sure that’s what you want?”
“What do you mean?” she asked, frowning. “Chicago is my home.”
“Yeah, but the Hamptons have always been your home away from home. I don’t know about you, but that’s where my heart is. We all have so many great memories there. Haven’t you ever thought about making that your permanent home?”
“No.”
I hadn’t expected her to be so adamant. “Why not? What’s waiting for you back in Chicago?”
“My friends, my parents, my house, my car, my—”
“You have friends and family here,” I interjected. “You could buy a house and have your stuff shipped here.”
“What are you talking about?” she asked, rubbing her forehead. “Where is all this coming from?”
“I want us to start a business together in the Hamptons.”
“What?”
I smiled at her shocked reaction. “You heard me. Think about it before you say no. You’ve had a great run with your father’s company, gained a lot of valuable experience, but now that the building phase is over, you have to plan your next step.”
“I’m sure I could find something in the home office,” she said, running her finger around the edge of her cup.
“I’m sure you could too, but would you love it as much as what you’re doing now?”
“Probably not.”
“So you’ve found something you love to do. Why would you want to give that up?”
She sighed. “Okay, I’m listening, Matthews. Let’s hear your pitch.”
“I want to open an office in the Hamptons with you, Darius, and Kara.” I grinned. “Think about it. We’d be incredible together.”
She seemed to ponder that for a minute. “Are we talking residential projects? You wouldn’t need a project manager for that if you had a good G.C., would you?”
I laughed. “Honey, when we set up shop there, the locals will be banging down our door. Trust me, we’ll need a project manager to keep all those balls in the air. Darius will be visiting the sites to make sure we’re on track, but you’ll be the one setting up and managing the trades.”
I’d obviously piqued her interest. “I’m not going to lie, I’ve always thought it would be fun to work in residential construction, building people’s dream homes.” She gestured to me, smiling. “And obviously working with the master is an opportunity few would turn down.”
She was trying to get a rise out of me, but we both knew her statement had a ring of truth to it. I’d worked my ass off to build a world-class team and reputation, and I wasn’t ashamed to take credit for it. “Does that mean you’ll consider it?”
“How does Kara feel about this?”
“I haven’t talked to her about it yet,” I admitted. “I wanted to talk to you and your brother first.”
“Talk to her about it. I will too. If she thinks it’s a good idea, I just may be in.”
Chapter Sixteen
Kara
I needed to get away: from work, my well-meaning siblings, and most importantly, my overprotective boyfriend. Dustin knew something was wrong. He’d said he could hear it in my voice when we talked on the phone. He begged me to tell him what it was, whether I was having second thoughts about our relationship, but I tried to play it off, pretending I was tired and stressed because of work.
I’d finally convinced him that I needed a few days away by myself, a spa weekend so I’d recharge my batteries and come home a new woman. He wasn’t thrilled by the prospect since weekends were supposed to be our time, but I didn’t give him a choice. I told him I had to go, that I needed this time.
But I didn’t go to the spa. I went home to Chicago. I needed to see my parents, to tell my mother about my diagnosis and let them know I was seeing Dustin again. I needed their advice, their input and opinion about what I should do. I might even try to see Sarah while I was in town. If anyone would understand how I was feeling, she would.
I hadn’t told Catia I was going home for the weekend because I knew she’d offer to come with me and I really needed to do this alone. My parents were expecting me, but I’d told them I’d stop by for brunch on Saturday. I would have Friday night all to myself, in my own home, in my own bed, surrounded by the things I loved. This was my real life, not the temporary life I’d built in New York.
While I’d spent the better part of the last several years traveling for work, this had always been my home base, the place I’d return to when I needed to feel grounded. I’d taken the time to decorate my apartment exactly the way I wanted, a
ccessorizing it with meaningful pieces from my trips instead of expensive pieces that were all for show. It wasn’t huge or fancy, but it was home, and I loved it.
I sighed when my phone rang and Dustin’s number flashed across my screen. I’d promised to call him when my flight landed, but I’d been so distracted I forgot. I thought about letting it go to voicemail, but he deserved better than that.
“Hey, babe,” I said, answering the call. “Sorry I didn’t call. I just got in.”
“I don’t mean to bug you. I know you said you needed a break. I just…”
I hated hearing the uncertainty in his voice. I knew he thought I’d been withdrawn because I was questioning my feelings for him. Nothing could have been further from the truth. If anything, my diagnosis had only made me more acutely aware of how much I loved him and wanted to build a life with him. I just didn’t know how he would feel when he learned that life may not include children.
“I’m goin’ crazy here, Kara. I know you said your needing to get away has nothing to do with us, but my gut’s telling me that’s not true.”
“I love you. Please don’t doubt that.” My love and assurance that I didn’t want to let anything come between us, not this time, was the only thing I had to offer him. I had to tell him the truth, but I wanted to wait until I’d seen my doctor again. I had a lot of questions, mostly centered around fertility. She couldn’t give me guarantees, but I couldn’t go to Dustin without all the facts. It wasn’t fair to him.
“I’m trying hard not to, but I’m not gonna lie. You’re not making it easy, girl. I’ve been down this road with you before. Last time, right before the wedding, you got like this, all quiet and introspective. You tried to tell me nothing was wrong, that you just had a lot on your mind, and I bought it. I can’t afford to make that mistake again.”
He had every right to question me, but I couldn’t give him any answers, not yet. “I know it’s a lot, asking you to trust me after all we’ve been through, but that’s what I’m asking you to do. Give me just a little more time to work some things out, then I promise I’ll tell you everything.”
“Then you admit there’s something going on that you’re not telling me?” He cursed softly when I didn’t respond. “Damn it, you can’t do this to me again. I won’t let you.”
“What’s that supposed to mean? You’re giving me an ultimatum? I tell you everything now, or you walk? Is that how our future’s going to be, you making demands and me caving unless I want to lose you?”
“That’s not fair, and you know it. How the hell would you feel if I were keeping something from you?”
He was right. I’d hate it. “I don’t know what to tell you.”
“Try the truth for a change.”
“Hey, I—” He didn’t give me a chance to defend myself before he hung up. Great, just what I needed to start my “relaxing” weekend away from it all.
***
“I’m so happy to see you,” my mother said, pulling me into her arms. She frowned, looking me up and down. “You’ve lost weight. It’s because you’ve been eating out too much.” She shook her finger in my face. “I expect that from your sister, but I taught you how to cook. You have no excuse.”
“I know, Ma.” I followed her through the huge house they’d built when we were ten, and I felt infinitely better than I had just a few hours ago. I hadn’t slept much after my argument with Dustin, and I just wanted some comfort, someone to tell me that no matter what happened, everything would be fine. My mother was good at that. “Where’s Dad?”
“He’s out in the garden. The tomatoes are almost ready. I thought we’d do a nice cucumber and tomato salad for lunch.”
“Sounds good.”
She held my hand while guiding me to a chair at the large walnut table tucked into the dining alcove of the kitchen. “Something’s wrong. I can always tell when something’s wrong. I could hear it in your voice when you called. A mother knows when—”
“Ma,” I said, trying to silence her, “there is something wrong, but I don’t want you to get freaked out.” I gestured toward the chair next to me. “It’s a minor medical problem.”
Of course it wasn’t so minor to me, but I didn’t want her to panic. When it came to her children, my mother had a tendency to blow things out of proportion. She claimed she was a worrier. We just thought she was a bit neurotic.
“Tell me,” she said, sitting next to me as she gripped my hand. “Tell me everything. Don’t keep anything from me because you think I can’t handle it. Should I call your father in? Maybe he should be here for this.”
“No.” I took a deep breath, trying to remain calm in the face of her hysteria. I should have known better than to think my mother could keep a cool head when she heard I was dealing with a medical issue. She always assumed the worst, claiming it was her parents’ fault. They’d lived hard lives and were born pessimists. “Remember I told you about my friend Sarah and her husband? They’re having trouble conceiving a baby because she has a medical condition called endom—”
“Why are you bringing this up now?” my mother asked, looking panic-stricken. “It’s not because you…” She shook her head, pushing her chair back. “No. You’re not going to tell me you can’t have children. It can’t be. There has to be some mistake. We’ll get a second opinion. We’ll find another doctor, one who knows what they’re talking about.”
My mother’s first reaction was always denial. I knew when she calmed down and accepted what I was telling her, she would have a few words of wisdom that would help me decide what to do about my relationship with Dustin.
“There is no mistake. I have endometriosis.” I took a deep breath, squeezing her hand. “I don’t want you to overreact. This isn’t the end of the world.” Though it had felt like it when I received the diagnosis. “It’s not a severe case. They can treat the pain with medication and—”
“Oh my baby,” my mother said, touching my cheek as tears welled in her eyes. “You’re in pain, and you never said anything? Why didn’t you tell me?”
“It’s wasn’t a big deal. I didn’t want to worry you.” I shook my head, trying to get the conversation back on track. My mother was easily distracted, and I wanted us to get through this before my father came in and derailed us again. “I have a follow-up appointment with my doctor next week to discuss it some more. I just wanted you to know.”
“There’s more?” She always could read me like a book.
“There is.” I freed one of my hands and swiped it over my face as I tried to gain some clarity. I was tired and confused, and I didn’t know how to tell her that I was on the verge of messing things up with the love of my life for a second time.
“Is this about Dustin?”
My eyes flicked to hers. “How did you know?”
“His mother called me last week about a charity we have in common. She’s hosting an event for it in the Hamptons later this year and wanted to know if your father and I would be able to attend. I asked her if Dustin and his fiancée had set a wedding date.”
“So she told you?” I didn’t know why I was surprised. Dustin’s mother had never been able to keep a secret. She and my mother had that in common, among other things.
“I want to know why you didn’t tell me,” she said, slapping my hand. “Shame on you, keeping secrets from me.”
I considered telling her there was plenty she didn’t know about my life, but I bit my tongue instead. I’d let her go on believing her children kept her abreast of everything happening in their lives, even if it wasn’t true. I smiled indulgently. “I intended to tell you. That’s part of the reason I’m here.”
“Does Dustin know?” she said, waving. “You know, about your problem?”
My parents were traditional and believed childbearing was critical to a woman fulfilling her purpose. I didn’t agree. I knew many women who’d made the decision to remain single and childless and were happy, but I wasn’t there to challenge my parents’ beliefs.
�
��No, he doesn’t. That’s another reason I’m here, to get your take on things. First of all, what do you think about me and Dustin being back together?”
She looked a little flustered as she got up and moved about the large kitchen. “I didn’t even offer you something to drink. What would you like? Tea? Coffee? Water? Juice? I have—”
“I don’t want anything. I asked you a question. About me and Dustin.”
She leaned against the island, facing me. “Honestly? I’m scared for you. When you broke up with him the first time, it almost destroyed you. Him too, from what I understand. You two are…” She wrung her hands as though she was searching for the right word and coming up short. “Impulsive, Kara.”
I considered whether she could be right. I hadn’t entered into this lightly, but I could see how she would have drawn that conclusion since the last she’d heard, Dustin was engaged to another woman. “I love him, Ma.”
“I know you do.” Her smile was soft, almost sad. “I suspect you always have. You’ve never really gotten over him, have you?”
“No.” I crossed my arms, trying to suppress the tremble moving through me. Whenever I thought about losing him, I felt it physically, like a rush of iciness moving through me and making me shiver. “I want to be with him, but I don’t know if it’s fair to him, you know, given my condition.”
She pursed her lips, obviously trying to contain her emotions. “What do the doctors say about your odds of bearing children?”
“They can’t give me any guarantees, only options if it’s not possible for me to conceive naturally.”
“So all is not lost,” she said, brightening. “You can still have children—perhaps not the traditional way, but that doesn’t matter. All that matters is that you get to experience the joy of having a family with the man you love.”
I smiled, swallowing as my emotions gathered in my throat. “You’re right. That’s all that matters.”
Kara (Starkis Family #4) Page 15