by Willow Dean
Aus must have called ahead as there are two gurneys and a whole medical team outside waiting on our arrival. Putting the SUV into park, Aus hands the keys off to some random guy and heads around the back to help Micah and Linc transfer a grumbling Rick onto one of the gurneys.
Stepping out of the cab, Jax turns back to pick me up. I swat his hand away. There’s no way I am going to show any more weakness than I have too. Not after they’ve only just agreed to stop their stalker act. Besides, my injuries aren’t even that bad. I don’t think.
Jax doesn’t let my disagreement phase him. Instead, he gives me an amused look as he steps back and crosses his arms over his chest. He watches me with a sarcastic grin plastered across his face as if he’s just waiting for me to step forward and fall so he can rush in and sweep me off my feet and say I told you so.
Snorting, I give him a cut look. It doesn’t faze him. I’ll show him smug.
Sweeping a hand out in front of us, he ushers me on. Stepping down onto my uninjured leg, I half expect it to go from underneath me. It takes me a second, but when I remain standing, a haughty grin alights my lips as I throw a self-satisfied look Jax’s way.
Completely unaffected, he raises an eyebrow at my smugness, waiting for me to go the full way. It’s like we’re locked in the middle of an old age western stand-off. Both of us maintaining eye contact through every move we make.
Not letting his arrogance get a rise out of me, I tentatively put weight on my injured leg. Of course, my confidence is swiftly snatched out from under me as easily as my leg is.
My body screams ‘Nope. Nada. Not doing that’ and fails me spectacularly, causing me to nearly fall flat on my face. Jax fortunately ignored my petulance and stayed close.
Simply reaching out to arrest my fall, he chuckles heartily. I cut him a glare as he opens his mouth to say something. “Don’t. Say. A word.”
Miming zipping his lips with his free hand, he uses his other to haul me upright and helps me over to lay face down on one of the gurneys.
Despite the embarrassment that runs through me at not even being able to walk in myself, I lay my head on my folded hands and enjoy the rest. The big bonus of being laid on my front being that it allows my muscles to start relaxing without tweaking the wounds on my back and calf.
Rick is wheeled straight off for a scan and I’m taken into triage where they cut off the remainder of my shirt and pant legs.
For whatever reason, Doc storms in insisting that he be the one to treat me. Not having the energy to question his motives, I acquiesce, allowing him to get on with whatever it is he does. He doesn’t disappoint.
With no messing about, he’s done in no time. He started by giving me a series of injections. One to numb the pain and another is some tetanus, antimicrobial injection, something or other. I’ve never really been a fan of injections, although I couldn’t tell you why. They just give me the heebie jeebies.
My head was already foggy from the strong pain killers he gave me so I wasn’t really paying that much attention when he tried to explain the rest of the injections either. If I need it, I need it. I trust him. Besides, Jax is here with me and I know he wouldn’t let anything untoward happen.
Cleaning my wounds with efficiency, I barely even felt Doc working. What felt like mere seconds passed before he had cleaned, assessed and dressed my wounds. Providing me with some strong painkillers to take home, he told me that I have minor smoke inhalation and superficial cuts and bruises. Giving me strict orders to rest up for the remainder of the day.
Apparently, none of my injuries are anything major. According to him, I barely even have a scratch on my leg. Although I hadn’t seen myself, it sure as hell felt like it went through to the bone when it first happened. Maybe my sensation of touch was just heightened due to the adrenaline rush at the time. I don’t know. What I do know is that I saw a lot of blood on my pant leg.
Either way, he didn’t even feel the need to bandage or cover what I was sure were the start of blisters on my back or the wound on my calf. Instead, he just slathers some cream over everything and tells me to apply it every eight hours for the next twenty-four hours and sends us on our way.
Despite knowing that the guys will object, I don’t plan on taking any of the painkillers at home. Truth be told, I may want them now because everything hurts like a bitch, but I already feel much better. After just lying there and having my injuries tended to, the pain is now minimal and I prefer to stay away from taking that specific poison. I like having a clear head, thank you very much.
Besides that, I know that if I manage to pull off my half-formed genius plan of revenge, then I’m going to need some resilience in the pain department. I highly doubt that my next exposure to Meat Man is going to be pretty, and if he’s anything like what I suspect, then I’m going to need all the help I can get. Leaving me with no other option but to build up my tolerance for pain. Joyful.
Sitting out in the waiting room with the guys, we all try to suppress our amusement when a grumpy Rick is wheeled through the scan doors by an exasperated looking Lachlan.
I bite my knuckles trying to hold back the laughter, doing rather well until I see Micah trying to do the same. The second our eyes meet, we are a lost cause. Both of us bust out in giggles.
It’s not long before Micah takes a shoe to the face, which only serves to send me further off the deep end. Pointing an accusing finger in my direction, Rick tries to be serious by attempting to make himself look angry, failing miserably. “Stop laughing! It is so not…” He sputters before breaking down into hysterics himself.
The rest of the guys and Lachlan, who aren’t jacked up on pain meds or just plain crazy like Micah, simply shake their heads.
“You look so grumpy Brucey Boy,” I pout, making cooing noises. His mortified look causes me to start chortling again.
Gawd, my stomach hurts so bad!
“Are you comparing me to the Hulk?!” Clutching at my stomach as it spasms from laughing so much, I nearly fall off my chair. Fortunately, Linc steadies me just in time.
The pain meds that Doc gave me are strong as hell. They’re making me so loopy I can barely even sit up straight. The situation gets even worse when hiccups start to erupt from my chest.
Micah and Rick quickly notice my struggles and decide to make it even more difficult for me to get my breath back by making goofy faces and giggling along with me. Our idiocy attracts a lot of attention and soon enough, everyone else in the waiting room is looking at us as if we are crazy.
Eventually, I find the ability to breath again. “All good, Brucey?”
“Just concussion. I’ll live,” Rick pouts. Obvious distaste at his incapacitated state shines brightly in his eyes and his scrunched up nose.
“Good! Let’s go home boys!” I shout in excitement, waving my arms in the air like a kid. Everyone snickers at my ridiculousness. I have a feeling I’m going to regret having these painkillers in the morning. They’re making me act like a five-year-old on a sugar high.
True to the image, I spring up to my feet and promptly drop. Completely forgetting about my injuries. Linc snatches me up with ease and lifts me into his arms bridal style as I start giggling again.
Everyone we walk past watches on as I give them a royal wave from atop my manly stead. You know…like the British hand wave where they look like they can’t tell which direction to wave in. That one.
“Thank you for your service, oh high and mighty, Ice Bear. You have done your kingdom proud,” I declare regally, patting his broad chest and motioning in front of us. “Onwards my handsome steed.”
His chest rumbles with amusement. I snuggle down in his arms, nuzzling my head against his shoulder, all of a sudden becoming very sleepy.
Wait! Hold up-
Jerking in his arms, Linc cusses as he nearly drops me. “What about the party tonight?!” The guys look around each other in question.
“I’ve already cancelled it. We all need rest, especially you two. Bed rest for you bot
h,” Aus commands. I pout at him and he snickers, before asking me a very important question. “You want pancakes and ice cream when we get back?”
My pouting immediately switches to a set of puppy dog eyes. “Pretty please, Aussie!” He freezes at the sight of my pleading eyes and does a complete one-eighty. He looks to the others for help. Not having a clue as to what to do.
“You’re in trouble there boy. Once they use those eyes on you, you are done for.” Wiggling in Linc’s arms, I try to find out where Lachlan is so I can turn them on him. The sneaky bastard knows exactly what’s coming and swiftly looks away down the other end of the corridor. “Nope, not happening. See boys, this is why you want lads. They are much easier to bring up then these little hellions,” Lachlan grumbles good naturedly, gesturing in my general direction.
Snickering to myself, I settle back against Linc and let the smooth rocking motions of his gait soothe me. Exhaustion washes over me as a warmth sweeps through my limbs, making me feel as though I’ve just been lowered into a warm bubble bath.
My muscles start to relax as my eyelids begin to droop shut. Just before my eyes shut completely, I catch a glimpse of a bobbing red blur that passes by our group in the opposite direction. Something draws me to its presence, but I can’t for the life of me figure out what it is.
I’m probably just hallucinating from all the drugs in my system. I feel high as fuck right now. Yet, the niggling at the back of my mind only intensifies.
Even though my grasp on consciousness is tentative at best, I still manage to catch little snippets of the conversation going on around me before I completely slip under. The voices all blurring into one.
“Did the team find anything?” There is a short pause, before a reply comes.
“There was nothing left but smoldering ash by the time they arrived. The fire service and cops both attended. We managed to take over the incident from then on, but there was no evidence of anyone having been there or in the surrounding area. Aside from the unrecoverable remains that is.”
“They must have had a car nearby. If there wasn’t one found…” The voice trails off.
“It means that they had a driver waiting. Are you sure you weren’t tailed?”
“One hundred percent, sir.”
“I’ll order a step up of patrols as a precaution anyway. We can’t be too careful, especially seeing as they clearly want her bad enough to attack her so openly. Question is, how did they know she was going to be there?”
A few other voices chime in as my hearing dissipates further.
“-inform Trick and ensure Paladin is extra vigilant. In the meantime, use the buddy system. We can’t take any chances. Continue to train as you are and make sure you’re ready for the sims. You need to be prepared for them to try and take her again. She needs to be able to protect herself, should the need arise.” A few huffs and sounds of disbelief float around at that comment.
“Yeah, like she can’t already do that. Lachlan, she chucked a guy who was nearly double Rick’s size. Even one of us would have struggled to do that!”
Conversations about my apparent badassery continue as I start to lose my grip on reality. The voices fade into the background as the darkness closes in around me.
I vaguely remember being set down and strapped in as I finally drift off. Not resurfacing again until we’re home.
“Team meeting,” I yell up the stairs. Padding my way over to the pile of blankets I have waiting for me on the sofa in front of the fire, I snuggle down in my favorite white flannel tee and lounge pants. Getting myself comfy as the guys drift in.
The twins take up a seat on either side of me. Micah wears black sweats and an orange vest top, finishing off his look with his trademark bandana wrapped around his neck. This time it’s a black one with orange katakana symbols embroidered into the soft fabric.
As the complete opposite of his crazily hyper twin, Linc casually sports a long-sleeved black top with white basketball shorts and absently strokes at his necklace as he takes a seat.
Jax saunters in not long after the twins in a white tee and green-checkered night sweats and as usual, sits down at my feet. Aus and Rick trailing just behind him, chatting about something to do with the case they’re working on. Both of them are in black sweats and white tee’s that stretch across their deliciously musc-
“S’up, Sayuri?” Micah’s voice startles me, promptly shutting down the thoughts I most definitely should not be having about two men I see as my brothers.
Glancing around, I notice everyone is now seated and thankfully, no-one seems to have noticed my faux-pas. Taking a deep breath, I prepare myself for the less than pleasant reactions that I fear will come from the subject of this meeting. I just hope that what I’m about to say doesn’t cause distension between us all.
“Okay. So…” Coughing to clear my throat, I take a second to study each one of them before continuing. “This may be a difficult discussion, but I think it needs to happen. Before anyone takes anything personally or thinks I’m demanding or expecting something from them…don’t. Hear me out first.”
You can feel the tension in the room skyrocket as they each take in my words. Chancing a glance around, I check to see their initial reactions.
Rick and Jax refuse to meet my gaze. The others dart their eyes around the group in confusion and concern, looking at one another and then finally, back to me.
Please let this come out in a way that doesn’t upset or offend anyone.
“I think it’s obvious by now, that we all have our share of difficult pasts and experiences.” As if someone just dropped a proverbial bomb, everyone shifts about uneasily.
The twins go to move away from me, so I place a gentle hand on each of their thighs. Light enough so they know I’m not trying to trap them, but heavy enough so they know I’m here to offer comfort and support.
Softening my voice, I try to speak as gently as I can. “You guys helped me a lot through my time after my accident and I can’t thank you enough. Each of you helped me in some way, and some more than others, showed me your vulnerable side too. Now it’s my turn to do the same-”
“No. You-”
I cut off Rick’s angry response by raising my hand. “Let me finish,” I say pointedly as he begins to rise from his seat. Reluctantly, he settles back down, perching on the edge as if he’s going to bolt at any second. Crushing the arms of the chair in a death grip, he pins me with a cold stare.
“Know now, that I will not force you -any of you- to discuss anything that you do not wish to discuss. If you do not wish to share your feelings or experiences, that’s fine. That is your choice. However,” I pause, really hoping to show them how seriously I mean my next words. “What happened today, cannot happen again.”
No one moves. Not a word uttered.
“It’s obvious that I...hec, each and every one of us, cannot go into missions without having dealt with our triggers. Today, each one of us was emotionally unstable in some way. If we are not stable enough individually, to act without the influence of our emotions during a mission, then we are going to get one or more of us hurt. Or worse. Killed.”
I let my words settle for a minute. Noting each of the guys is lost in their thoughts, while Rick still hasn’t released his death grip on the chair arm.
“Each one of us has something in our pasts that has caused us to have triggers to certain things. Each one of us has buried emotions that we need to deal with. Hell, if I hadn't been so focused on what my parents had left for me in the safe, I would have realized that I was surrounded well before I actually did. I could have maybe dealt with the problem before you guys even knew there was trouble.”
Turning my gaze to look into the fire, I brace myself for the backlash from what I’m about to say next.
“All I am suggesting, is that each of us needs to work on controlling our emotional impulses or to find a way of dealing with our triggers. Otherwise, we may not live to rectify our mistakes. I know how hard it is to talk about…
to talk about certain things.” Essentially proving my point in more ways than one, I hesitate. Trying to compose myself as my own memories bombard me.
“Even if you aren’t willing to discuss anything with each other, or even someone outside of this group, we at least need to be aware of each other’s triggers so that we can avoid another situation like today.”
Silence reigns. Each one of them has an intense look of focus on their face whilst they mull over my words.
Quite honestly, the discussion so far is going better than I thought. They needed a frank discussion, and I will never force any of them to talk, but they need to know that what happened today wasn’t acceptable. We need to do better than that if we want to return alive from our missions.
We were very lucky today. Very lucky indeed. We cannot let it happen again though. Everyone needs to be on the ball, not zoning out at every little obstacle. Don’t get me wrong, triggers are nothing small and are not something that can be easily dismissed. However, there are ways of overcoming them. They are just painful.
We need to find a way of working with each other and protecting each other's backs, otherwise we aren’t safe as a team. Just compromised.
“Fire.” Tracking the quiet admission, I remove my hand from Linc’s leg -who oddly seems the most relaxed at present- to rest it on Jax’s shoulder. Laying his hand on top of mine he gives a gentle squeeze.
“Being alone.” My hand tightens on Micah’s leg at his admission as I sneak a sideways glance at Linc beside me. His concerned gaze remains focused on Micah as he continues to play with his necklace between his fingers.
Catching me looking, Linc meets my eyes. I give him an understanding nod which he returns. We’ve had this discussion already and he’s still working his way up to opening up to me. But he will when he’s ready.
I know all that I need to know for the time being though. Linc’s scared of not being able to protect those he loves.
I casually glance over at Aus and Rick, who are the only two left who have yet to say anything. Aus’s jaw is clenched shut. The muscles in his jaw twitching furiously as his eyes blaze with fury and pain. His attention is fixed solely on the beautiful ring on his right middle finger.