by Willow Dean
The beatings. The lashings. The verbal abuse. I endured it all so that Micah could live a happy, pain free life and it was worth it. Every single second of it.
I learnt quickly that anything I said wouldn’t make an ounce of difference anyway. If anything, it just gave my parents the fuel they needed to deliver their punishments.
Answer back and struggle for air. Question decisions and get the belt. Call them out and take a beating.
A voice only equated to pain, heartbreak and despair in our household, so it was easier not to have one. For years I didn’t speak, in the hopes it may help. It never did.
Our life changed for the better once we moved into foster care though. Not many people can say that. Hell, I still remember the soul wrenching dread that pooled in my stomach.
Would we have to endure the same pain? Would we be worse off with someone else? Would we get separated? The uncertainties were overwhelming, yet they became completely inconsequential when we met Margaret and Ted.
As a loving and doting older couple that couldn’t have a family of their own, Margaret and Ted took us in and loved us with everything they had. The time spent we spent with them were the best years of our lives.
Margaret was a caring and patient woman. How she did it I will never know, but she noticed straight away the scars that I carried, both mentally and physically. Yet, she never once pushed me. Never tried to burrow or force her way into my head. Never tried to coerce me into spilling my heart out to her.
She held me when I woke up screaming. She encouraged me to relax when my jaw locked up whenever I tried to voice my needs or desires. She coaxed me out of my shell and taught me how to live again. Working tirelessly with me, day in and day out, to overcome my fears. She was my light.
Just as Mila is now.
Mila’s presence scared me at first. In fact, it downright petrified me. I thought she would come between us all and force me apart from the only stable thing in my life.
How wrong I was?! She only wandered in and solidified the bond I had with the guys, deepening our ties as a family unit as she goes.
It irked me at first to see her comforting my brothers as they dealt with their demons. How could she just casually insert herself into our lives like that? She didn’t know us. She didn’t know what we’d been through. How could she? I mean, she came from a loving family and had a carefree childhood. She knew nothing.
I was jealous. Jealous that she could have such a perfect life and just waltz into ours like it was nothing. Jealous of how she could just walk in and make the guys smile like their pasts weren’t constantly lurking over their shoulders. Jealous of how she could make everything better for everyone, but me.
She could never help me. No one could. Or so I’d thought.
But she noticed my pain that night. She knew. She knew exactly what I was feeling without knowing a single thing from my past. With one look, she latched onto my deepest fears.
Rejection. Loneliness. Failure.
Knowing the exact words I needed to hear, she erased my terror in a heartbeat. The honesty in her eyes as she crouched down before me took my breath away.
Mila eased the pain I’d carried for years with nothing but simple words. Not one ounce of pity or disgust touched her face. She looked at me with nothing but love, understanding and pride. She made me want to bear my soul to her.
It warmed my heart and I finally felt a sliver of peace. Something I’ve not felt since Margaret and Ted left this plane. Taking my heart with them.
Although I wasn’t ready to talk about it just yet, I know that she’ll wait for me. She’ll be there when I am ready. Just like Margaret was.
“Take that as a warning for next time you help Aus prank me, you goober!” She giggles.
Micah hisses as he rolls around rubbing his sore butt. “I guess I deserved that one,” he grumbles, yelping when he hits a sore spot.
Jax claps his hands loudly. “Alright, children! Rick is going to be back soon and if Mila isn’t up to date with everything he’ll flip.” Micah grabs his chair from across the room and we make room for him before crowding around Jax and the monitors.
“We’re investigating a drug trafficking ring which we’ve been trying to pin down for the last four months or so. Each month they move their site to a different area to avoid detection. Always using abandoned or unlisted buildings.”
Moving the mouse and tapping away on the keyboard at near insane speeds, he switches the screens. Pulling up images of the docks and a multitude of shipping containers.
“We’ve managed to track them to the docks to the north of Eastwood, which is currently acting as a primary storage ground and dealing point. They’re also occupying a building in the west quarter of Eastwood that they use as their manufacturing point.”
Another set of pictures fly across the screen before I can depict anything from them.
“Rick and Aus are currently out trying to score. At the meet that they arrange, we will split into two teams and infiltrate the sites simultaneously. Rick, Aus and I will target the storage point and you three will target the manufacturing point.”
A picture of a dilapidated one-story medical center in a run-down neighbourhood fills the screen.
“Micah and Linc, you’ll be running surveillance and recon between now and the designated infiltration time. Currently, we have minimal information about security details. Mila, you and I will be working on gaining access to their mainframe in the hopes of obtaining further information on security details and drug dissemination.”
Halting his roadrunner fingers, Jax focuses on the screen intently as he reels off his next words. “Mila, you will lead and coordinate the hit on the manufacturing point whilst overriding their security systems. I’ll be performing the same role for Aus and Rick at the other site.”
I glance over at Mila to see her reaction. Nothing but determination and concentration shines through as she focuses all of her attention on the lines of code Jax has now brought up on the monitors.
Attacking him with a torrent of questions, she quizzes Jax on the security systems we use and the equipment that she’ll have access to, leaving nothing out. As expected of someone who excelled and achieved at least ninety-seven percent in all cadet testings.
Her grade turn out was unprecedented. She scored higher than the majority of us in nearly every area and was only a couple of marks off achieving Jax’s perfect score in tech. She fits in perfectly with our team. It’ll be interesting to see how she performs on her first real mission.
Jax continues to talk her through the systems and I zone out.
Out of all of us, I got the lowest score in tech. I don’t know what it is, but I’ve always struggled to grasp technology and computing, or data...whatever it is you call it. I detest it. Hands on, practical and traditional measures have always worked best for me.
The only reason I have a phone is so that I can communicate with the team. Other than that, I only know the bare basics of the equipment we get for missions. Enough for me to be able to use them sufficiently enough to keep myself alive.
I tune back into their conversation just as their discussion comes to a close.
“…I can work with those systems. You’ll have to run me through the comms system again though. I’m not too familiar with that yet, but aside from that, I think we’re good to go.”
“We always have a brief prior to the mission anyway. Rick is very particular about everything going to plan,” Micah confirms.
“Control factor, I get it.” I snicker as Mila says that whilst rolling her eyes and crossing her arms over her chest. She looks so innocent, yet fierce at the same time. She’s a walking contradiction. “Run me through those algorithms again, Sparks. I want to have them down before I do some messing about.”
Jax pushes his chair out to the side to make way for Mila to sit in front of the set up. Just watching for a minute, I get lost in Mila’s radiant smile and the intrigue that lights a twinkle in her eye with every new
thing Jax teaches her.
Micah drops a hand on my shoulder, startling me slightly. “Come on brother, let’s get some recon done before the first period starts,” I nod in agreement before getting up to follow him out.
37 Rick
Urgh, he’s really beginning to get on my nerves!
“Stop your pacing or you will blow our cover,” I grit out through clenched teeth.
“Sorry.” Running his hands frantically through his hair, he at least stops his pacing.
Aus hasn’t been able to settle since Lachlan spoke with us both this morning with a warning to keep an extra close eye on Mila and other females around the organization and college.
We all thought the girl we found the other day was a one-off incident. As it turns out, there’s been an increasing number of female disappearances in this area over the past month. Escalating to almost two a day in the past week.
Receiving that news and being away from Mila has Aus’s anxiety soaring, despite knowing the guys are with her. I can’t blame him. My nerves are shot too. She may be able to protect herself, but it doesn’t stop us from worrying.
There are already teams investigating the disappearances, they just haven’t managed to find anything of interest up until now. There’s no correlation between the females and no apparent motive. They all just went about their daily lives and never returned home.
“She’ll be fine. The guys are with her at home and we still have her under watch. Now calm yourself and focus. We can’t lose this deal,” I grunt under my breath, wary of ears around us.
Nodding stiffly, he takes a deep breath and consciously relaxes his shoulders. Tidying his hair and straightening his shirt, he settles into his role.
We wait in silence for our contact to arrive in an alley behind the pizzeria in town. It’s a good half an hour after the agreed time before a pot-bellied man who looks to be in his late forties, approaches us from the mouth of the alley.
His greasy black hair is slicked back and he looks like he’s run his hand through it, one to many times. He wears black slacks and a white shirt that’s pulled tight over his enlarged belly. The buttons strain at the fabric as yellow sweat marks stain his underarms and down his chest and back.
“Gaunton?”
“Fred?” I nod in confirmation. My eyes practically roll themselves out of their sockets at the name that Micah came up with for my alias. He watches far too many kids shows. “Sweet or spice?”
“Both. Price?” Aus shifts his stance to face away from us, keeping an eye on the entrance to the alley.
“Twenty-K.”
“Location?” He clicks his tongue at my quick questioning.
“Friday at noon, loading dock thirteen.”
“No sooner?”
He clucks like a bloody chicken before replying in a gravelly voice. “Shit takes time. Take it or leave it.”
“Fine.”
He doesn’t even acknowledge my acceptance before turning back down the alley and disappearing into the morning bustle.
I release a tense breath and clap Aus on the shoulder. “Come on, let’s get home,” I murmur exhaustedly.
Today is going to be a long day.
We walk into the study just as Linc reaches for the door. Sharing an understanding look, he steps backwards into the study as I sweep my gaze over the rest of my team who have yet to notice our return.
“Team briefing.” All eyes turn to me as everyone gets comfortable. “The meet is set for Friday at noon. Lachlan will cover for us at college. The teams will be me, Aus and Jax at the docks. Mila, Micah and Linc at the manufacturing point. Briefing will take place at zero-six hundred hours so you’ll have plenty of time to prep and set up. Jax, I need you to set up the facilities for two separate comm lines. One for each team and one shared to coordinate between teams, used to coordinate infiltration and in an emergency only.
“Micah, Linc. I want you on recon, morning, noon and night, from today onwards. We need to know their security details inside and out. Aus, you’re in charge of procuring the relevant tech, equipment and weapons. Talk to Jax who will give you a rundown of what you need. Mila, your priority is to familiarize yourself with our security systems and tech. Find Paladin if you need anything tech wise, he’ll give you the rundown.” My mouth tips at the happy smile that lights her face at the mention of her Little Fire Ant.
I swear, I thought we were going to have to scrape her remains up off the floor after she called him that. It was one of the scariest moments of my life so far and that’s saying something.
“Boss, we should also teach Mila our signalling.” I glance at Micah and nod in agreeance.
“Signalling?” Mila asks quizzically.
“It’s our own form of hand signalling. Completely unique to our team and undecipherable,” Linc divulges factually.
“Micah, think you’ll have time to handle that as well?”
“Plenty,” he replies excitedly. “I’ll do anything to spend more time- Oomph.”
“Thank you, Linc.” He dips his head and looks to me in anticipation of what I’m going to say next. No sign of him ever elbowing Micah in the first place.
“Boss, quick question?” Micah raises his hand meekly, despite looking as though he’s on one of those vibrating exercise machines.
“Fire away,” I cross my arms over my chest.
“Are we seeing Diego before the mission?”
Ahh. The buzzing energy he’s exuding begins to make sense now.
“Not for this one. He’s a little tied up with another team at the moment and our mission should be fairly easy in the grand scheme of things. No excessive force required.”
“Darn it,” he mumbles, looking like I just kicked his puppy.
“Next time, I promise. Anything else?” He shakes his head. “Good. If anything changes or if anyone needs anything, inform me immediately. Everyone clear?”
They all gesture their approval in some way or another. Each of them fixed with a look of determination. For once, even Micah has a serious look on his face. He’s always taken assignments seriously, but we’ve never really had a mission beyond recon before. Not on the books anyway.
Really, the closest this team has ever come to combat is being chased away from the perimeter of a high-tech lab that we had infiltrated and bugged. Playing the part of clueless teenage delinquents, we got away easily.
This will be our first official assignment where combat will be necessary. I can’t say I’m not nervous. Nerves are a good thing though and I have faith in our group. If it were just the guys and I, I most likely wouldn’t be so uptight. With Mila here though, it’s a completely different story.
From experience, it’s obvious she can look after herself just as much as any of us can, however, missions aren’t foolproof and mistakes can be made. It only takes one small distraction for someone to get hurt and I think that all of the guys agree with me when I say that can’t be her.
Mila’s a part of our disjointed family, and it doesn’t go down well when one of us gets hurt. Especially not her. She has been through enough already, hence why we are all extra protective of her.
Maybe it’s because she is a woman, or maybe it’s because she allows us to see her vulnerable side, to a certain extent. I don’t know. What I do know, is that any one of us would lay down their life for her. Same as we would for each other.
I only hope it never comes down to that.
“We have just under two hours before lectures start, use that time wisely. Any questions?”
Nobody speaks up, so I take that as my cue to leave. A pile of paperwork that I really do not want to face is calling my name.
As I turn to leave, my phone rings. “Lachlan, what can I do for you?”
“Actually, you can put me onto my daughter so that I can discuss something of importance with her.” Trick, the sneaky bastard.
Can he not take a hint?!
“Actually, I think that’s her decision to make, not yours,” I correct.
<
br /> “She’s put this off for way too long. She will see me today,” he snarls.
Inhaling a deep breath to calm the rage boiling through me, I attempt to be civil.
No one has the right to tell anyone what they should or shouldn’t do and I will be damned if I let Trick get his way with Mila. It’s her choice, whether he likes it or not, and we will stand by her decision regardless.
My voice comes out ice cold as I try, but clearly fail to restrain the anger that wants to strangle the life out of him.
“With all due respect, sir. Your daughter has a name. It’s Mila,” I sneer derisively. So much for keeping that temper in check. “It’s Mila’s choice and her choice only, as to whether she will meet with you. I will not force her to comply with your demands.”
A gentle hand lands on my shoulder. I peer back to see I’ve caught the attention of the entire room. Each one of them appears just as furious as I feel right now.
Mila, who is standing directly behind me, gives me a resigned nod and motions for me to pass the phone over. It’s not hard to hear that asshole ranting and raving down the phone, yet I continue to ignore it. All of my attention is focused purely on her.
Covering the speaker, I speak softly. “Are you sure? Don’t let the dickwad pressure you. This is your choice. Not his.”
She snorts as her lips tug up at the corners. “Don’t worry about me, Tough Guy. It’s fine. It’s about time that I stopped running from them both anyway. My head isn’t in the right place just yet, but he won’t stop harassing me until I see them. I need to speak to them sooner or later. May as well be now.” She shrugs.
“Do you want us to leave?” She shakes her head as I hand her over the phone. Putting the phone to her ear, she moves it away slightly whilst only paying half attention to the litany of curse words and threats that he continues to hurtle down the phone.
After nearly a minute, she returns it to her ear with a glacial look in her eye. “Have you quite finished with your childish rant?”