by Willow Dean
Kaye breaks the comfortable silence that had settled over us with a voice thick with regret and sadness.
“Grant and Talia were our closest friends. Like us, they were unable to have children. They wanted to retire from the service to foster around the time I became pregnant. It was never an easy choice for us, but if it brought happiness to the people that we were closest too in life, and protected our unborn child, then it was all worth it.
“Assisting them in faking their deaths, we gave them a whole new life as Grant and Tali. From the second you were born, they were in love with you just as much as we were. They vowed to take you in and love you as their own until they could no more. They promised never to reveal the truth until you were old enough to truly understand.
“Even from a young age, you were such a tenacious and intelligent child.” A wistful smile stretches across her face as she stares off into space. “You were constantly pushing your boundaries and excelling in all of your studies. Although they did their best to keep you away from our way of life, you kept finding your way into trouble, so they decided to each you everything you would need to know to survive in our world. In this profession.”
Pausing for a second, her grip tightens on Trick’s hand as she turns her teary eyes to me. Her face scrunched up in pain.
“They knew full well that you would eventually find your way into our line of work, one way or another. You were never a normal child, Mila. Grant, Tali, your father and I…we’re all so proud of you and everything that you have achieved.” She chokes on her voice as Trick wraps an arm around her.
Wetness rolls down my cheeks as I remember Mum and Dad at my junior prom, peeking from behind the curtains at the back of the room thinking I couldn’t see them. I’d told them I wanted to be a big girl and go on my own. They just couldn’t help themselves.
I see their beaming, pride filled smiles when they came to watch my grand piano performance in the opera house when I was only twelve. I can hear their hoots and hollers when they joined in the standing ovation. They got so many funny looks that evening, but they just didn’t care.
I remember when they were called into school when I was only ten, smiling the entire time I got berated and then finally suspended. All because I corrected my Math teacher in front of the class when she got the answer to the equation wrong.
Oh, how she regretted that when I returned. I was moved into a class with students three years my senior so that I could actually challenge myself. It was even better when she was given the boot.
One of the logs cracks loudly in the fire and startles me. Effectively whipping me out of my memories and straight back into a cold and harsh reality.
So much for not letting them see your tears, you softie!
Wiping the offending particles away with the back of my sleeve, I turn back and ask the burning question. “Who is it that’s after me and why?”
They attempt to make their hesitation seem as though they’re taken off guard by my question, but I know better. They can think they’re fooling me with their silent exchanges and subtle eye movements all they want. The fact of the matter is, they know who’s after me.
Yet, it’s obvious before even a word leaves their mouths that they aren’t going to be candid with that information.
“It’s impossible to tell. We have made one to many enemies over our time within this organization,” Trick recites smoothly as if he practiced those very words a thousand times over. He’s trying to deflect.
It’s not working.
Anger starts to creep its way back in. I shove it back down and shift to the edge of my seat.
Clasping my hands in front of me, I fix them with a cool glare and enlighten them. “Do not think that because of my meagre age that I am incapable of reading basic body language. I’ve had a lot of spare time over the years, and if you kept as close of an eye on me as you said you have, then you would know that I have completed courses in advanced body language, sociology, psychology and various other areas.”
I pause for a minute…for dramatic effect of course. That and to cool down my rising temper.
I refuse to let them get to me. If they want us to be ‘reunited’ as one big happy family, then they’ll have to learn to play nicely.
Honesty is at the very tippity top of my list of must have desirable attributes required to become friends or family and is something that they currently, do not possess.
“I will not sit here whilst you blatantly lie to me. One thing you will want to realize very quickly, is that if you want any part in my life, then you have to learn to be completely honest with me. If you cannot do that, then our relationship will never work. I’ve had far too many people keep secrets from me.”
I shake my head when Trick goes to interject.
“A shower takes more time than it did for whoever it was to kill my entire family. Not only that, but then I find out that they had kept secrets from me and that my heritage was a lie. To then find out that my real parents are alive and want to re-establish a connection with me, only to begin the wheel of dishonesty again. Not happening. I will not willingly open myself up to that torture again.
“I know it’s this elusive Archanine agency that is the prime suspect, and before you get all high and mighty with me again,” I direct my words to Trick who looks like he is about ready to blow his top. “It’s not Lachlan who told me. It was thanks to my oh so wonderful deduction skills that I found out. What I can’t quite grasp, is why they want me. It’s not for leverage, I know that much.” Both of their faces drain of color as sweat beads across their brows.
Interesting. I’ll play their game. For now.
“If no-one knows that I am your child, aside from my team and those with higher clearance such as my now deceased parents, Lachlan and Paladin, then I don’t see why they would be so interested in me. Unless you have a leak in your ranks. But then again, that’s not something you would be willing to discuss with me, now is it?” I ask snidely, all pleasantries having gone out the window a long time ago.
“It’s clear that neither of you are amenable to providing me with candid information, and clearly, you haven’t learnt from your mistakes. I am an adult human being and I have the right to know why I am being hunted and what I can do to protect myself. I’m fed up of being left in the dark and strung along like a goddamn fucking pig to the slaughterhouse. So, I ask you again. Who is it that is after me and why?”
Trick looks positively fuming whilst Kaye looks dejectedly to the floor by her feet. There’s a pregnant silence, permeated only by the sound of the fire crackling in its cage.
Having had enough of their games, I stand and go to walk out the door when Kaye breaks the silence. “We don’t know for definite-”
Trick goes to cut her off, but I’m in his face before he can even get a word out. He clearly doesn’t like being looked down upon as he stands abruptly to face off with me.
Rage makes his face even more strikingly familiar, and unfortunately, highlights some of the more prominent features I possess myself.
His eyebrows raise into his hairline as his forehead creases in response to his fury. The same cheekbones, ones that I’ve always hated because they sit too high, stand proudly on his face. His thin cupid bow lips currently pulled back in a snarl.
I’m sure that anyone walking in on this sight would find amusement in us mimicking one another, but I don’t plan on being the one who backs down today.
Not now. Not ever.
Forcing my words through clenched teeth, I go toe to toe with him, leaving barely an inch between our heaving chests.
“This is my life you are talking about. I have the right to know who is after me and why. I am not some weakass little girl who needs protecting. FYI, you missed those years and you’re never going to get them back. You’d be lucky to get any years with me at all at this rate.”
He snorts mockingly.
“I can protect myself and fight my own battles just fine. I don’t need you thinking y
ou can simply come in and sweep your little princess off her feet and act the hero,” I grit out. “I watched my family die by the hands of the very people you are refusing to give me any information on. I watched the light leave their eyes knowing that it was all my fault. That if I had only been alone at that time, that their lives may have been spared. I’ve been through hell and back over the past couple of months and I will be damned if I let you treat me with little more respect than you do the dirt on your shoe!” I finish resolutely, my chest heaving with ragged breaths. Anger spikes my veins as tears of sadness and frustration cascade down my cheeks.
Another time I may have cared, but right now, I don’t give a crap. They needed to know that I’m not one of their ornate rugs that can just be walked all over. They cannot just expect to waltz back into my life, acting like they know what’s best for me, thinking that they can control me just because I am their biological child.
News flash! I’ve done just fine without them up until now. I am an adult, and from here on in, my life is in my hands. No one else’s. They don’t get a say in how I live my life. No one does.
“You may have had a part in bringing me into this world, however, you are no more than strangers to me at this present moment. You have no rights to control my life or my decisions, yet you have the audacity to try and manipulate me.” Reining in my temper, just a little, I continue at a quieter level.
“I am my own person. A human being and a capable one at that. You need to learn to respect me as an equal or things are going to get ugly. Now tell me, why. Are they. After. Me?” I growl, enunciating each word so there is no misinterpretation.
Trick and I continue our stare down, chests brushing with each stuttered breath, until a phone ringing breaks the silence. Neither of us so much as twitch. Kaye eyes us warily before getting up to answer.
“Okay, we’ll head down now. Deploy teams Heston and Marley to secure the scene and send Froyd’s team to search the area.” Sighing wearily, she places the phone back on the handset gently. “Three girls have disappeared this time. One of the younger cadets saw them get abducted and tried to intervene but they came prepared. Trick, we need to-”
“Go. We can discuss this later. The safety of those girls is far more important. But be warned,” I step in even closer to Trick. “Continue to treat me with kid gloves and withhold information and you will continue to be without a child. If you want any sort of relationship with me, you better learn that respect and trust goes both ways, or not at all.”
Looking to Kaye one last time, I soften my expression as I notice the heartbreak written all over her face.
If it weren’t for Trick’s presence and overbearing, controlling attitude, then I reckon she may have been more open with me.
We will most likely never have a good relationship, and it pains me to see her so anguished, but I will never give up my independence and free choice. Not for anyone.
I do throw her a lifeline though.
“Look, I need time to process. If you are forthcoming with me, then it’ll make this whole process easier. I want a relationship with you.” Gritting my teeth and swallowing my pride, I glance at Trick.
“Both of you. I can’t promise it will be easy, nor will it happen overnight, but I am willing to try and make it work. You have to meet me halfway though. Just-” I hesitate, closing my eyes and taking a deep breath. “-think about it,” I say tenderly to Kaye, trying to soften the blow.
Her shoulders sag in relief as she realizes that despite Trick’s attitude problem, I am still willing to give them an opportunity to salvage our relationship. Gratitude floods her features as a strange sense of pride shines through.
She doesn’t deserve to have gone through what she has done. Trick well…he can go to hell, the insufferable prick.
Without slowing my steps, I turn away from them and open the door, strolling straight through the secretary’s office and out into the corridor beyond. As I step out, I’m greeted with the most wonderful sight.
My family.
Each one of my boys looks up to me as I emerge and I can’t help but chuckle at their over protectiveness. It’s endearing. Even though I was with the heads of the organization, two of the most capable agents in the business, they continued to worry for my safety.
“You guys missed me that much?!”
“It was awful without you, Sayuri!” Micah whines. “Please, never leave us. I don’t think any of us could live without our little princess, could we?!” He jibes, dancing around the group, waiting for answers of agreement.
“Urgh, please don’t ever call me that again,”I grumble, massaging the bridge of my nose.
When all he receives is head shakes, he abandons his ploy and bounds over to me. Gathering me into his arms, he spins us until I’m so dizzy that I can barely see.
After a while, he places me back on my feet and steps away. At the loss of contact, we both go to topple over.
A set of strong arms fold around my stomach, centering me as Linc looks like he’s going to catch Micah. I think. It’s quite hard to tell considering nothing is staying still right now. Micah reaches out to Linc thinking the same, but Linc has other ideas.
Inching back, just out of reach, he kicks Micah’s legs from under him, sending Micah sprawling to the floor. He promptly tries to get up to his knees before falling over again, practically face butting the floor. He grunts in pain, cupping his nose and rolling around on the floor as the rest of the guys laugh at him.
Watching him, I’m very grateful for the strong hold of whoever has me as my body continues to feel as if it’s lurching towards the floor in all different directions. Gripping on for dear life, I wait for the world to stop spinning as I continue to chuckle along with them at Micah’s expense.
I scramble to keep a hold of whoever’s arms are wrapped around me as they go to move away. The room still hasn’t stopped rotating in a multitude of directions and I still feel like I’ve been placed upside down on a merry-go-round.
A squeaking noise leaves my lips as I am hoisted in the air. I don’t even have time to process what’s happening when my world is turned upside down. Or right side up? I have no idea.
When my vision finally starts to straighten out, I realize I’ve been thrown over someone’s shoulder in a fireman’s lift.
“Come on, M, let’s get you some food. You missed lunch.” Rick’s chest rumbles underneath me as he talks.
“Awww, you guys!” My boys sure know the way to a woman’s heart! “Chocolate chip ice cream with sprinkles?” I ask hopefully.
“Sure thing, Lila. As long as I can share?” Aus asks sweetly.
Lifting myself up to whisper loudly in Rick’s ear, I ask him a very important question. “You won’t make me share will you, Tough Guy?” Everyone hears of course, causing the mutts to howl in laughter.
I don’t. I’m being deadly serious. No one, and I mean no one, is sharing my ice cream. It’s mine.
All mine.
39 Rick
Mila handled her first reunion with her actual parents much better than we anticipated.
Thinking she was going to struggle through the meeting and would need support after, as a group, we decided to tag along.
Turns out, we were wrong.
Despite her obvious tear-streaked face, the woman that exited that office was cool, calm and collected, and seemingly unfazed by whatever had gone on behind those closed doors. The second she appeared, exuding confidence with her chin held high, I knew we were finally privileged enough to have gotten a glimpse of the true Mila Jackson.
After getting ice cream, everyone went off to complete their mission prep whilst I returned to Trick’s office to meet with him and Lachlan.
Prior to our new status as a junior field team, Lachlan had us following various anonymous tips that were thought to have led to Archanine. So far, they’ve uncovered nothing. Either Archanine were too skilled at hiding their ops, or we weren’t proficient enough in our searches.
Yet,
I still can’t help but shake the feeling that I’m missing something vital about the whole situation. Something about the fact that both Archanine and Census are harbouring secrets is making me feel uneasy.
As one of only a few teams in Census that knows about Archanine, I find it hard to be at ease with the information we are being fed. Apart from us, Lachlan confirmed that only the uppers or high classed field teams know about Archanine and that any information pertaining to this elusive organization was classified.
The question is...why?
There have always been rumors about the origins of Census. Ones that consisted of it being born from another agency gone dark. An agency called Archanine. But that’s all they were. Rumors.
Saying that name within our organization is akin to saying the name of that geezer in J.K.Rowling’s book. The one where they murmur he who shall not be named.
The uppers uphold the illusion of information regarding Archanine being classified, yet they pay no heed to any of the mutterings that circle the base. To be honest, there’s nothing of substance to converse about. It’s all words spun like spiders silk. Chinese whispers that have had years to develop and transform. None of it is fact. At least nothing confirmed.
For all I know, it could all be fact. The uppers could just be using it as a front to maintain a myth and keep the truth under wraps. Who knows?
Lachlan and Trick have never directly lied to me, however, a lie by omission is a lie nonetheless. It was bad enough that they informed us of Archanine and it’s status when we found Mila half dead.
As part of her protection detail, they needed us to understand who was after her and what that meant. Even then, they were very selective about the information they shared. Stating they are just the most likely culprit, they maintained the line that it is still unconfirmed.
Keeping it to a minimum, we were ordered not to tell Mila. She was not to know under any circumstances. Initially that made sense. Mila had lost her entire family, was halfway to a gruesome death and lacked most of her memories. To add to that, she was not aware of our organization and the NDA that comes along with the nature of the service.