“I don’t make the rules, adventurer,” the young ass priest whispered before breaking eye contact with me and turning his gaze back upon Sabre. “Is there anything else I can help you with? A deed perhaps?”
“How much are they?” she asked, eyes glazing over to indicate she was looking at a menu.
“The going price is currently one million Rhuvians.” The priest smiled like that wasn’t an obscene amount of money. “Would you like one?”
“Pass,” I said, spinning on my heel and moving to walk out of the place. Only before I could stomp out angrily, Sabre spoke again.
“Thank you for your time, father,” Sabre replied, before moving to follow me.
“You are most welcome. Go with the gods,” and as he spoke a system message flashed across my screen.
System Message: You have received the buff: Blessing of the Gods. All damage to undead and demon type monsters is currently doubled.
“Wow, thanks!” I said, turning to look at the priest, but he’d already turned back to his candles, making me think that he hadn’t heard me.
“It’s not a bad buff,” Sabre said, nodding to me. “I always try to get that and haste before I leave town.”
“I didn’t even know you could get that one,” I said, eyeing the four hour buff timer in the corner beside the haste buff. “It’d have been really helpful, let me tell you.”
“Well, now you know,” she said, smacking me on the back before her look turned serious. “I don’t mean to pry, but I’m starting to think you guys were lucky to have found me. It’s like you have no idea what’s going on in Ruul.” She shook her head as a bitter smile flitted across her lips. “I mean, I’m all for the newbie experience, but you do realize you can literally die here, right?”
“Yeah,” I said, wondering if I should divulge our whole situation to her. Part of me wanted to tell her just to see what she’d say, but at the same time, I didn’t actually know if I could trust her. I mean, sure I’d saved her from being a statue by defeating the Spirit King, but that didn’t make us friends.
She looked at me for a moment, like she expected me to say more, but when I didn’t as we stepped out of the church and into the crisp, clean outside world of the town, she continued. “It’s okay though because I’m here now.”
“That means a lot to me,” I said. The weird thing was I actually meant it even though I still half-expected her to stab me in the back. “I’m just not sure it’s going to matter.”
“Why do you say that?” she asked, taking my hand and leading me back toward the smithy.
“Um… why do you keep taking my hand?” I asked, looking down at our hands.
“Oh, sorry,” she said, pulling her hand away and blushing at me. “It’s something I learned in the academy, and it sort of became ingrained.”
“Eh?” I asked, suddenly sort of sad I’d said anything because I kind of liked the feel of her hand even though it was digital.
“I was taught that when you hold hands with someone, it endears you to them, so they trained us to always do it,” she mumbled while fidgeting with her broach. “I can refrain if it makes you uncomfortable.”
“I don’t mind,” I said, offering her my hand, which she promptly took, and for some reason, that relieved me more than I thought it would.
“Anyway, why don’t you think it’s going to matter?” she asked, taking a step toward me. “I mean, there’s five of us, plus your pet. That’s more than I’ve ever had for this quest.”
“Because…” I said, glancing at the timer in my quest window. “We have less than a day to finish the sword and get the Ring of Strife before the Skeleton King’s army attacks.”
“And you don’t think we have enough time?” she asked, nodding as she spoke. “We do, but it’ll be tough. I’ve never gotten the ring before, but I’ve seen people do the quest to get the Magestone from the damned dwarves before. Not to remake the sword, but just because Magestone is a fairly useful crafting material. It’s a pretty long quest.” She took a deep breath and mulled over her next words before continuing. “Even if we started it now, it takes almost twelve hours to complete it. Then another twelve hours to reforge the sword. There’s a high probability it wouldn’t be finished until midway through the siege, which is fine, assuming you can complete the ring quest before the siege starts.”
“Do you think we can find the ring while the sword is being fixed?” I asked, and while I knew her words were meant to worry me, they actually made me feel a bit better. As long as we got the ring and the sword before the Skeleton King showed his ugly mug, we could win.
“Assuming it takes less than four hours from the time we deliver the Magestone to the blacksmith? Sure.” She nodded. “But how long did it take us to get this far? I dunno about you, but it used to take almost a day to get the fragments.”
“That’s true…” I nodded, suddenly worried because it had taken almost six hours to get the hilt and blade.
“Kahn!” Two’ Manchu called, running up to me with George, and his face looked both annoyed and panicked.
“Um… what’s wrong?” I asked as he skidded to a stop in front of me.
“Crash and Dark Heart are gone!” the barbarian cried, turning to point in the direction of the blacksmith’s shop.
29
“What do you mean they’re gone?” I asked, worry exploding through me as I sprinted toward Two’ Manchu, heart racing. “How can they just be gone?”
“George and I got bored, so we went inside to see how much longer it’d be and neither of them were there. The smithy said they left to talk to the dwarves a while ago.” He shook his head as his eyes settled on Sabre, who suddenly looked uncomfortable.
“About that…” she muttered, swallowing hard as she looked away and ran a hand through her hair, finger-combing it back over her delicate ears.
“I knew it!” the barbarian snapped, shaking one accusing finger at her and taking a large step toward her so he loomed over her. “You told them to go on ahead even after we were supposed to wait for Kahn.”
“Huh?” I asked, confusion twisting my guts as I looked from the barbarian to Sabre and back again. Part of me wanted to defend her, but at the same time I was too shocked by Crash and Dark Heart’s disappearance to not want answers, especially since it seemed like Sabre knew what had happened and had hidden it from me.
“It’s okay,” Sabre replied, reaching out and lightly touching Two’ Manchu’s hand, and something about the gesture made my heart twist a little, though I wasn’t sure why exactly. “Dark Heart, Crash, and I discussed it inside while you guys were outside waiting for Kahn.”
Two ‘Manchu opened his mouth like he was going to argue, but before he could, she rushed on ahead. “But then we spoke with the blacksmith, Joe, and she said that there was no way we’d have enough time to go find the dwarves, have her reforge the blade, and do the quest to get the ring if we did them— the only way we would succeed in getting it all done was if we did the tasks concurrently.”
I fought the urge to scream at her. Was this why she’d been getting me stressed about the timeline? Because she’d already sent Crash and Dark Heart on ahead? Was this a way of making me open to the idea so that when she laid on the fact that they’d already left, I’d just accept it? I wasn’t sure, but Sabre seemed really good at ingratiating herself to people, including my bunny who generally hated most everyone.
Then again, if I really thought about it, how could I really be mad? I mean, I was pissed I hadn’t been involved, but at the same time, it did seem like the only way we’d get everything done in time to stop the Skeleton King was by doing as many quests concurrently as we could.
“But we were supposed to wait for Kahn,” Two’ Manchu growled, gesturing weakly at me as his shoulders slumped. The fight had gone out of him.
“Kahn,” Sabre said, turning to look at me like Two’ Manchu’s closeness didn’t bother her. “The only way we win is by doing the ring quest while Dark Heart and Crash g
et the Magestone.” She took a deep breath and squeezed my hand. “I sent them because we two-manned that quest all the time. Magestone is a pretty good crafting material. It’s long, but not terribly hard, and your friend, the paladin, has gear good enough to overpower the encounter.” She swept her hand out toward the western gates. “I’ve never completed the ring quest before, so that’s why I wanted the three of you,” she nodded to George, Two’ Manchu, and I in turn, “to come with me to try to get it.”
I wasn’t sure how I felt about that. Part of me was happy she’d chosen me to be in her party for the quest, but at the same time, I got the impression she had an ulterior motive. Only, I couldn’t quite figure out what it was.
“But we could have just waited for Kahn,” Two’ Manchu muttered. “And you didn’t say anything earlier.”
“I didn’t want to have a big fight about it. Dark Heart and Crash agreed.” Sabre sighed. “There’s nothing to be done at this point.” She turned back toward the barbarian and poked him in the center of the chest with her index finger. “You can either keep bitching about it or come with me to get the ring.”
“She makes a fair point,” George said, hoping over to her and giving her the bunny stink eye. “There’s nothing we can do now but do as you say, eh? Seems pretty shady if you ask me.”
“I agree with the bunny,” Two’ Manchu said, nodding emphatically. “It is shady. I mean, your reasoning makes sense.” He pushed her hand away and narrowed his eyes at her. “It just makes me think you’re up to something.”
“The only thing I’m up to is trying to figure out how to complete a quest that’s never been done before with a bunch of players who just fell off the goddamned turnip truck,” Sabre snapped, taking a step away from all of us. It was weird because we’d been standing so close together that her sudden distance was noticeable.
“None of this is helping now,” I said, trying to break in and be reasonable even though I sort of agreed with Two’ Manchu. The situation did seem shady. Still, I knew we needed the Ring of Strife, and to get it, we’d have to journey to the Citadel of Evil, which let me just say, didn’t seem like a particularly happening place.
“Thank you!” Sabre cried, angling her body toward the western gates and taking a tentative step toward them. “We should be killing monsters, not arguing like a bunch of little girls.”
“Okay,” I said, ignoring her comment as I turned toward Two’ Manchu. “Let’s go get the ring, okay?” As he nodded angrily at me, I spun to glare at Sabre. “And if you ever pull a stunt like this again, I will come down on you with all the fury my twenty strength can bring to bear. Are we clear?”
“Got it,” she said, rolling her eyes. “In the future, we’ll all wait around and die so you guys can feel like this is a democracy.” She took another few steps toward the gates. “Can we please just go now?”
“Yeah, we can go,” Two’ Manchu said, cracking his knuckles as he moved toward me. “I’ve been testing out a new skill I picked up.” His lips quirked up as he elbowed me in the side. “You’ll like this one.”
“I can’t wait to see it in action,” I replied as I fell into step beside him and followed after Sabre. Something about her was a bit too sly for my liking. I really hoped Crash and Dark Heart were after the Magestone because if they weren’t, we were well and truly fucked.
30
“So, the Citadel of Evil, eh?” George said, staring at the spire that jutted out from the blackened horizon like an enormous veiny pustule. I almost wanted to say it looked like a designer’s massive dick joke, but I’ll refrain because I’m mature and balanced. I will just say this though. There was nothing creepier than a structure that looked like it’d been made out of veiny, writhing flesh jutting from the ground.
“I’ve seen worse,” Two’ Manchu said, scowling at the spire. “Why, I remember this one time when I was reading these books about this guy Mac Brennan where they went to Hell and found an entire bordello made from the glistening bodies of sinners. Man, was that ever creepy.” He shivered and shot me a disgusted look. “I never want to see that.” He gestured at the writhing, veiny flesh. “This is tame by comparison.”
“Great, so it’s tame compared to a book no one has ever read,” George snorted, rolling his eyes. “That’s real helpful.”
“So, uh, how do we get in there?” I asked, ignoring their banter and pointing at the Citadel. We were still standing on the path in the middle of the grassy knoll that led to the Citadel. Before us stood a rickety bridge that was missing several of the planks, and let me just say that those that remained didn’t exactly look promising, what with the cracks and rot and all.
From the look of things, once we crossed the dying bridge, we’d step into a violent, muddy wasteland filled with lumbering monsters that sort of looked like winged brontosauruses. I’d have liked to say I knew what they were, but really, I didn’t, and that scared me a lot.
“It’s easy,” Sabre said, glancing at me from where she stood just this side of the bridge’s first rotten plank. “To get to the Citadel, we cross this gnarled bridge before making our way through the mud patches while avoiding the demon dinosaurs because I don’t know about you, but I don’t fancy getting stepped on. Then we knock on the door and ask nicely to see Asmodai.” She nodded like what she said sounded totally reasonable even though it sounded totally fucking insane to me.
“So, with that being easy, how hard do you think it’d be to say, see Jennifer Lawrence naked?” George asked, rubbing his chin with one bunny paw. “You know, as a point of comparison.”
“Dude, that’s weak,” Two’ Manchu said, eyeing the rabbit disdainfully. “You’re losing your edge.”
“Not as weak as Jennifer Lawrence’s iCloud password, that’s for sure,” George replied, and with that, he hopped onto the bridge. “Now, let’s get a move on, I have a desperate and unrelated need to find a place where I can dig up some pictures from the bowels of the internet.”
I laughed. I couldn’t help it. This was almost as ridiculous as Kid Rock running for Senate, but then again, times were weird. Maybe it’d happen. I mean, he was an American Bad Ass. What other qualifications could he possibly need?
“Are you guys coming, or do I have to do all this myself?” George asked, calling back to us as he hopped along the bridge like it being made mostly of moldy wood and hope wasn’t a huge concern. Then again, he only weighed like six pounds max…
“Yeah, we’re coming,” I replied, wishing I could come up with a great American Bad Ass quip, but I couldn’t really remember the song well enough. Sigh, so many lost opportunities.
“That’s what she said,” George responded, tapping one foot on the bridge.
“I somehow doubt that very much,” Sabre said, moving onto the bridge and approaching the rabbit. “You probably last all of twenty seconds.”
“Want to find out?” George asked, raising an eyebrow at her. “‘Cause once you get a taste of this wild hare, you won’t ever be the same again.”
“Can you seriously believe this is happening?” Two’ Manchu asked, following me onto the bridge as Sabre quipped back something I didn’t hear. “Because, let me just say, I never did.”
“Greetings, adventurers!” boomed a voice from the middle of the bridge before I could respond.
My eyes jerked toward the sound, and my mouth fell open as I stared at the plainest most ordinary looking man I’d ever seen. As his bare feet floated above the bridge, his silver tunic caught the light and threw sparkles across the bridge like a disco ball.
“Is he seriously wearing leather pants?” I asked, glancing at Two’ Manchu, but if the barbarian heard me, he didn’t respond.
“Um… hi,” Two’ Manchu replied a bit star struck, which honestly seemed a bit odd. “Are you Asmodai? Because if you are, I’m fairly certain I know where they got the idea for your costume, just saying.”
“Why, yes! I am Asmodai, but you can call me Lord, for I am the Lord of Lust. The Sire of Sin. The Prin
ce of Porn, but most importantly,” he grinned, flashing a set of razor-sharp teeth, “I am ruler of all you see. Normally, I would ask why you have come here, but,” he inhaled sharply through his nose, “I can smell the touch of undead upon you, and for that, I say thank you.” He ran a hand through his short black hair. “So what can I do for you? A hundred virgins perhaps?” A wry grin spread across his face. “Or would you prefer some more experienced girls?” He raised an eyebrow. “Or are you craving something a bit more… exotic? I do know a succubus with beer-flavored nipples.” He slapped his leg with one hand while licking his lips and glancing wistfully back as his fleshy spire. “She’s a real treat, so please, just let me know your deepest desire, and if it is within my power, I shall grant it.”
“Yeah, great,” I said, trying to dismiss the idea of a chick with beer-flavored nipples because with my luck they’d just taste like Miller Lite. “We’re actually not here for sex.”
“How can you not be here for sex?” Asmodai asked, one eyebrow quirked so far up in confusion, I thought it might leap off his face and take flight. “What other business can you possibly seek?”
“We’re trying to stop the Skeleton King,” Two’ Manchu said, and before he could say more, Asmodai was literally right in front of us. The demon lord reached out and wrapped an arm around Two’ Manchu’s shoulders, and as he did, I realized how damned tall the guy was. Maybe eight or nine feet. It was weird because he made Two’ Manchu seem small, reminding me of those photos that showed Shaquille O’Neal standing next to the Rock. The Rock always seemed tiny by comparison even though he was 6’ 5.”
“I know, pretty,” Asmodai hissed before leaning in close to Two’ Manchu and licking his face. “That’s why I’m trying to help you.”
“What the actual fuck?” Two’ Manchus said, backpedaling so hard he nearly toppled over the bridge’s railing. In fact, the only thing that stopped him was the death grip Asmodai had on the collar of his armor.
Soulstone: The Skeleton King: A LitRPG Novel (World of Ruul Book 2) Page 20