“We’re trying to get the Ring of Strife. We’re told you have it,” I said, reaching forward and grabbing onto Two’ Manchu. It wasn’t really because I was worried about him falling with the demon king’s hand on him, it was more that I didn’t trust the demon farther than I could throw him because, you know, demon.
“That I do,” he said, flashing me the bird. I started to scowl when I realized that a golden ring with a pair of breasts emblazoned upon it was wrapped around his finger. “You want it, you gotta earn it.”
“How do we earn it?” I asked, finally succeeding in pulling the barbarian away, but I was fairly certain it’d only happened because Asmodai let me.
He waved my words away as he stood back and straightened his unbuttoned shirt, flashing a set of perfect abs at me. “It’s quite simple, really. You let me help you.”
“We let you help us?” I said, turning the words over in my mind because I was sure I hadn’t heard him right. I mean, we’d come here to get his help, and yeah, okay, he was a creepy fucking demon, but at the same time, he wasn’t a real demon. He was an NPC created by the game, no more real than Freyr had been.
“Yes, you do,” he said, and then he was behind me rubbing my shoulders, and I’d be remiss if I said it wasn’t the best thirty seconds of my life, even counting that time in High School when I got to go in the closet with Becky Schaefer, which was sort of disturibing, to be honest. “What I want is simple. I want you to take my friend the Kapre to the Town of Silver Gables.”
“And do what with him?” I asked as Asmodai leaned in so close to me, I could feel his breath on my neck.
“I. Don’t. Fucking. Care.” Asmodai stood up and released my shoulders. “Just get him out of here. In exchange, I will let you do a tiny task for me, at which point, I will give you my ring.” He shoved his middle finger in my face. “Deal?”
“Wait, what?” Two’ Manchu asked, pushing in front of us and glaring at the demon. “You mean we have to do a quest to get the quest to get the ring?”
When the demon lord didn’t respond, Sabre huffed out a deep breath. “I guess it’s some kind of chain quest.” She shook her head. “It took over an hour to get here though. I don’t know if we have time to escort the Kapre to town and come back.”
“That’s a good point,” Two’ Manchu said, rubbing his chin as he stared at the demon king, then his eyes lit up. “Say, what if Kahn takes the Kapre back to town while we do the other thing?”
“As long as the Kapre is gone, that’s fine with me.” Asmodai nodded, relief flooding across his face as he held his hand out to me.
System Message: You have been offered the quest: The Kapre’s Journey. Would you like to accept? Yes or no?
“Why do I have to take it back?” I asked, glaring at Two’ Manchu. It wasn’t a whine though. I want to be very clear about that.
“Because you have gimpy stats right now,” Two’ Manchu offered, flexing his arms, which was a bit silly because even my gimped stats were mostly better than his normal ones.
“I actually agree with Two’ Manchu,” Sabre said, tossing an apologetic look my way. “I think the two of us can do the quest, but George will want to stay with you, which means if I or the barbarian go, we’ll be all alone with the Kapre, and that sounds like a recipe for disaster. It’s better if you go because you’ve got your delightful bunny to keep you company.”
I narrowed my eyes at her. I didn’t like the sound of that, and not just because it seemed logical. It was because she’d somehow managed a situation where she, an OP game genius would be alone with the weakest member of our party while on a quest she claimed she’d never finished. It seemed fishy, but at the same time her logic made it hard to argue, which made me hate it even more because my gut and brain weren’t in sync.
“See, logic!” Two’ Manchu cried, raising his fist for a bump which was totally left hanging by Sabre.
“Um… why are you pointing your fist at me?” she asked, confusion spilling across her features. “It’s, um, kinda weird.”
“He’s always kinda weird,” George remarked, hopping over to me. “What do you say, boss?”
“Fine,” I grumbled, taking the demon lord’s hand. “I accept.”
System Message: You have accepted the quest: The Kapre’s Journey.
“Excellent,” Asmodai said, face brightening as he turned on his heel, put both fingers in his mouth, and whistled. The sound shattered my hearing, and as I took a step back while grabbing my ears, smoke burst from the bridge in front of us before solidifying into a massive pair of double doors the color of fresh spilt blood.
They slowly opened, and as they did, a smell like cigars and whiskey hit me like a punch in the teeth.
I swallowed hard, trying not to gag as my eyes started to water from the stench. It was crazy because I could literally taste the rancid cigars in the air.
“Well, look at this motley bunch of adventurers,” the Kapre said as it stepped forth from the doorway and gestured at us with its lit cigar. Smoke wafted up from the burnt end as the massive tree raised it to his huge lips and inhaled, causing the end to flare bright orange. “You seriously want me to go with them?”
“God, you have no idea how much,” the demonic lord of sin said, looking at me so hard, I thought I might burst into flames. “Now, we had a deal, no take backs.”
“But he’s a goddamned tree!” I snapped, pointing at the fifteen foot creature. He sort of reminded me of a majestic maple tree, but you know, instead of being majestic, he wore a sap-covered loincloth and a navy fedora. It was weird as fuck.
“I am not a tree, you meat sack,” the Kapre snapped, touching his trunk with one spindly branch like I’d pained him somehow, only as he did it, he made his leaves rustle like there was a windstorm coming. “I am the Kapre.” He moved forward on his roots, so it almost seemed like he was undulating toward me rather than walking. “And I require food. Come, adventurer, escort me to town.” He held a branch out toward me while exhaling a smoke ring that smacked into my face like a rancid burp.
“I hate you guys,” I snapped, glaring past the tree at my friends who were too busy laughing and looking relieved to care much about my plight.
31
“You know what’s interesting to me?” the Kapre asked as we moved through the shadowy forest toward the Town of Silver Gables. The darkened shapes of creatures rustled the brush all around us, but like when we’d passed through it the first time, they didn’t bother us while we were on the road.
Still, I knew they were there because I could feel how much they wanted to step onto this path and gobble us whole. Their bloodlust washing over me like heavy rain, and as I stepped along beside the immense “walking” tree, I hoped with everything in me they stayed there.
I wasn’t a coward per se. I wasn’t afraid to fight them or anything. I just, well, I was sort of afraid I was. That there’d be too many of them, and not only would I die, but the Kapre would die and George would die, and both of them were counting on me.
It was weird because I’d done escort quests in games before, and they were always frustrating because your “charge” moved at the speed of a geriatric snail while countless monsters kept spawning. That hadn’t happened thus far because like Lord of the Rings, all we’d done was a lot of walking. It was almost worse though because with every snapped twig or swish of the branches in the wind, I kept waiting for the big bad boss of the quest to appear before me.
Only one hadn’t, and it was starting to weigh on me, starting to build up. Why had no one come? Was it because the final hurdle would be too much?
“What’s interesting to you?” I asked, glancing at the giant talking tree as it sucked on its cigar before blowing a puff of rancid smoke into the air.
He gestured at me with his cigar. “How you humans crawl all the damned time for stupid things. But when crawling actually will get you something important, something worth having, you just don’t.” He stuck the cigar in his mouth and turned toward me
expectantly.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” I replied, shaking my head in confusion. “Only babies crawl.”
“I’d say you’re as dumb as you are pretty, but you’re the most repulsive human I’ve seen in a while so that wouldn’t work very well, but you get my point, eh?” the Kapre said, and the smile that spread across George’s face at those words made me want to kick my pet. I refrained, but only because he didn’t pipe up with a quip of his own.
“Got it, dumbass, party of me.” I nodded in annoyance as I glanced toward the horizon. We were nearing the edge of the forest, and once we were out, we’d be home free. The clearing beyond the edge led straight to the western gate, and with it, to town. Maybe the quest was just supposed to be a time sink? I mean, the Skeleton King’s siege had a definitive start time I was acutely aware of thanks to the timer in the quest list scrolling down the periphery of my HUD, so it was possible, right?
“I’m glad you’re on the same page as me.” The Kapre nodded with amusement before throwing one of his many branches around my shoulders like we were old pals. “I just want to know why you guys make such a big deal about your dignity when dignity buys you nothing.”
I stared at the Kapre for a while, and as I did, I wondered about the source of his questions. They seemed a bit too philosophical for my liking which made me wonder if I was talking with a random NPC or with the malevolent AI running the place. I couldn’t be sure, but at the end of the day, how much did it matter? The AI was all encompassing and was more than powerful enough to process everything that’d happened thus far.
“Dignity is important.” I touched my chest where my heart would be if this was a real body and not a digital one. “It’s the most important, really.”
“Even if it costs you your home, your food, your family?” He shook his head. “I do not quite follow. It is not a real thing.”
“It’s real,” I said as understanding started to dawn on me. The Kapre didn’t understand why people fought for things, even when it was easier to fall down and die. It was strange because I couldn’t actually tell him in words.
“Sometimes trying is important,” I said, shaking his head. “Sometimes it’s all you can do.”
“I thought it was ‘do or do not. There is no try?’” the Kapre responded, amusement spreading across his freakish face. “I’ve seen so many give up in this place.” He swept his hand over the horizon. “It makes me wonder why so many of you still come to this land. Still try to fight against the inevitability of the Skeleton King or of the maelstrom for that matter. You cannot win. It is impossible to collect the soul stones.”
“Is it really impossible?” I asked, suddenly scared. If it really was impossible, then not only was my time being wasted, but we’d never beat this game. If we couldn’t beat this game, I’d never get my body back, never get to hang with my dad or tell my mom I loved her again. My heart cracked in my virtual chest as the loss of them hit me hard. I’d never get back home, never finish college, never get to do anything. I’d just be stuck here forever on this fool’s errand.
“Not technically. The soul stones exist, but finding them all…” He shook his head. “You’d be better off letting the maelstrom come, letting it win.” He leaned toward me as he shifted the cigar to the other side of his mouth. “Your entire race would be better.”
Something about the way he spoke made my heart resound, although I wasn’t sure that’s what he’d meant to happen. No, I think he’d meant for it to make me want to give up, to throw in the towel. Only... that’s not what happened because all I heard was that I could win. Sure, the game might be rigged ten ways to Sunday. It might be hard and might break me over its knee and suck out the juices, but I could win, and if I could win, I would win.
“Interesting,” the Kapre said, pulling back as it fingered the cigar in its mouth with its spindly, branch-like fingers. “I just watched you go from confident, to depressed, to hopeful in the blink of an eye.” He waved his cigar at me. “Care to explain what just happened?”
“Sure,” I said, nodding despite myself. “I want to finish this quest and defeat the Skeleton King. The guy pissed me off when he sent his minions to kill me. I kinda want to save the town because I sorta like some of the NPCs there.” I waved away my train of thought. “But mostly, I want to go back home. I want to disconnect from this game and go the fuck home so I can see my parents because, to be honest, I never quite appreciated all they did for me as much as I should have. To do that, I have to win this game.” I glanced over at the Kapre to see him leaning toward me attentively, his large burning red eyes fixed on me. “Then you said it was impossible to win, and for a moment, I believed you. I saw my hopes of returning to my family, to my world, dashed to pieces, and as that happened, I wanted to give up.” I shook my head as a surge of anger flashed through me. “But now I know that’s not the case. Now I know that I can win, and because I can win, I will fight like hell to win and get home.”
“It all makes sense now,” the Kapre said as we exited the forest, only he stopped moving as the sunlight from the blue sky above crashed down on us with blinding intensity that made me wish I could adjust my gamma down until my eyes adjusted. “You want to go home, and because of that, you’re willing to do anything, yes?”
“Yes,” I said, nodding emphatically as the Kapre rubbed his spindly branches together like he was plotting something sinister.
“Now this is where I find out the value of your dignity,” the Kapre said, leaning into me as he pulled his cigar free of his mouth.
“What do you mean?” I asked, confusion filling my face as I tried to take a step back, but before I could, the Kapre wrapped a pair of large branches around my shoulders and pulled me close enough for his rank breath to make my eyes tear up.
“Such a deal I have for you,” the Kapre said, eyes glowing malevolently. “Such a glorious deal, and it will cost you nothing.”
“Nothing ever costs nothing,” I said, trying to pull away as my heart started to hammer in my chest. The Kapre’s burning eyes stared into me, and for a second, I thought he could see every part of me, even the dark dirty little secrets I held locked away in the corner of my heart.
“This does.” He released me then and stretched his branches wide. “Because I want to send you back to your world right this moment, and to go, all you have to do is agree to leave.” He smacked his branches together in a flurry of leaves. “Does that sound like a great deal or what?”
32
My world spun as I stumbled backward away from the talking demonic tree. Had he seriously just offered to send me back home? Was that even possible? I mean, my brain had been cut out of my head and put in a goddamned jar so I could get immersed here. Even if I was sent back, how would that help me?
“So, do we have a deal?” the Kapre asked, a horrifically malevolent smile smeared across his lips. “I send you back, and in exchange, you do nothing. You just leave.” His smile broadened to Jokeresque levels.
I gulped down a breath of not real air and tried to shake myself from the siren’s song of his words. I knew it was crazy because they had to put me back together on the other side, but maybe the Kapre could help with that? I mean, how the fuck was I supposed to know. I could ask…
“Can you really do that?” I squeaked, and the hope in my voice upset me more than it should have because it was ten kinds of pathetic, and I didn’t really think of myself that way. Part of me was worried this was some kind of trick designed to crush my will to play, but what if it wasn’t? I could just go home and never see this place again, never have to risk my life for a bunch of digital rocks no one had managed to collect over the course of almost thirty years.
“I can,” the Kapre said, and as he spoke, his branches slashed through the air to my left, slicing it asunder and revealing a void of endless white. The same room where I’d rolled my stats what felt like forever ago stared back at me. It was the room where I’d first met Ivan and learned my brain was i
n a tank filled with nutrient-rich goo. “Well, you can. All you need to do is step through that doorway, and you’ll wake up back in your world.”
“If I do that, I’ll just wake up as a brain in a box.” I shook my head. “They’ll just send me back.”
“I can fix that for you too. I promise if you leave now, you’ll leave as a whole boy. No ifs ands or buts.” The Kapre flopped down on its “butt” then, kicking its roots out toward me in a way that was very weird to see.
Still, could he be really telling me the truth? Could this be my chance to go home without completing the game? I mean, I could get stuck here for so long the world might have ended before I succeeded, and my grandmother’s ninetieth birthday was coming up in just a few months. What if I missed it? Hell, what if I missed more?
“What’s the catch?” I asked, narrowing my eyes at the tree. “I find it hard to believe this is true.”
“There is no catch,” the demonic tree replied, watching me very carefully, and as he did, I realized what was happening. This was my chance to choose my destiny.
If I took the Kapre up on his offer, I’d go back home. I’d return to my life as a college student. I’d finish my degree, get a shitty job working for a shitty boss. Maybe have a family, maybe not. And then I’d die. While there was nothing wrong with that, I’d always hoped I’d accomplish more. Maybe that was why I played games so much. Maybe it was so I could shuck off my mediocrity and be a real hero, if only for pretend.
And right now, I was the hero. Not only in the game, but for our party. I was after the soulstones so I could stop the Maelstrom, and if I did that, I’d be a hero. Only, if I left and went back to my life, my story here would end, and I’d go back to being just plain old me.
If I stayed, I might die, but at the same time, I might not. I might win. And if I won, it’d be legendary. Hell, even if I didn’t win, I got to be here, playing a game I was actually somewhat good at. I got to be a hero. Hell, I got to save a stupid town from a horde of angry undead. That would never happen again.
Soulstone: The Skeleton King: A LitRPG Novel (World of Ruul Book 2) Page 21