“We work together,” he said, reaching up and cupping the right side of her face. “You and I. That’s a complication.”
“I’m very good at problem solving,” she murmured, thinking this couldn’t possibly be happening. Her muscular, charming, big-handed contractor was not really staring into her eyes with what even her inexperienced self recognized as interest, was he?
“I was going to ask you out to dinner,” he said. “But I think I’d like to do this instead.”
Then he lowered his head and pressed his mouth to hers.
Andi’s last first kiss had been over a decade ago. What she remembered most about it was that she’d felt awkward and unsure. This time what she experienced most was a burning sense of need that came from being kissed by a man who obviously knew what he was doing.
His lips pressed against hers with a combination of hunger and tenderness. She felt both wanted and oddly safe. While sexual tension increased, her nervousness faded and she let herself relax into him.
Wade put his free hand on her waist and drew her against him. She went willingly, automatically wrapping her arms around his neck. He moved from her mouth to kiss her nose, then each cheek before touching his lips to hers again. Without meaning to, she parted her lips and he swept his tongue inside.
Desire exploded. There was no other word to describe the rush of hunger that burned through her veins. Her breasts swelled in a matter of seconds, aching for his touch, and between her legs she felt a heavy, almost cramping need.
He raised his head and stared at her.
Dilated pupils, she thought happily. He wasn’t faking his interest.
“Unexpected,” he murmured, then lightly kissed her again.
“Definitely.”
“Repeatable.”
“Very.”
Somewhere in the front of the house, something crashed to the floor. Wade straightened and stepped back.
“I need to check on that.”
“Right.”
They stared at each other for a second, and then he walked away.
Andi took advantage of the cabinets and leaned against one while her breathing slowly returned to normal. Her whole body tingled and she knew she was grinning like a fool. Not that she cared. As far as she was concerned, life on Blackberry Island had just gotten very, very interesting.
* * *
“Spying on our neighbors?” Zeke asked.
Boston stepped away from the window and laughed. “I think Wade is interested in Andi, and I happen to know she’s interested in him. It’s fun to watch.”
Her husband groaned. “Don’t get involved. It’s always trouble.”
“I can’t help it. Besides, I may need you to talk to your brother. He’s cautious because Andi’s a doctor. What’s up with that?”
They walked into the kitchen. Zeke crossed to the refrigerator and pulled out two beers. He removed the tops from both and handed her a bottle. She settled on one of the stools and he leaned against the counter.
“I’d be worried if I were him, too,” he said.
“Why? What does it matter?”
“She’s smart.” He shrugged. “She went to college and med school. He didn’t. It’s different.”
“So? That gives them something to talk about.”
“She probably makes as much as him, maybe more. Some guys have trouble with that.”
“Then they’re idiots. I did better than you some years. Were you bothered?”
“No, but that’s different.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know. It was. You’re an artist. You can’t help being talented.”
“But Andi chose to be a doctor?”
“Maybe. I don’t know. It’s just different. I’m not saying it wouldn’t work, but it’s something Wade’s going to have to think through. We’re raised to believe we provide for our family. What if you’re not needed? Then what’s the point?”
She stared at him. “Wanting to be married doesn’t have to be about financial support. What about love and commitment? Can’t that be enough?”
“Because most guys are so good at talking about their feelings? It’s easier to provide a paycheck.”
“Is this before or after you grab me by my hair and drag me back to your cave?”
He smiled at her. “Do I have to decide?”
Their gazes locked. She felt the slight uptick in tension between them, and her body responded. Longing swept through her.
Before Liam’s death, she would have acted without a second thought. She would have put down her beer, walked around the counter and kissed him. He would have kissed her back and in a matter of seconds they would have started making love. There had been countless late afternoons they’d made love right in this kitchen. As it was, she couldn’t remember the last time they’d been intimate.
She missed the sexual compatibility she and Zeke had always taken for granted. Now that it was lost, she wasn’t sure how to get it back. She didn’t know why he wasn’t able to perform and didn’t know who to ask about the problem. For reasons she couldn’t articulate, they never discussed it with each other, either. Maybe it was because she didn’t allow herself to feel emotions and he drank until his drowned.
Even as she wondered if she should approach him, his gaze slid from hers and the mood in the room shifted to something more neutral.
“I should probably go next door in the next day or so and see how things are going,” he said. “Wade mentioned the cabinets had been delivered and that they were going to start laying floors.”
“That’ll be loud.”
“Lucky for Andi, she works all day.”
Boston ran her fingers up and down the side of the bottle. “Zeke, do you...” She paused, not sure what she was going to say. How to tell him she missed making love with him.
As she struggled to find the words, he waited. His shoulders stiffened, as if he had to brace himself for a blow. Defiance battled in his eyes, and his mouth straightened.
“I’ve been working on something,” she said, admitting defeat and taking the easier path. “I didn’t want to say anything because I wasn’t sure I could do it, but I’ve nearly pulled it all together and, well, why don’t you come see?”
She stood and walked toward her studio. He followed.
The pictures of Liam still dominated the room, but there were large pieces of paper tacked up, as well. Jungle images with a grinning jaguar and happy monkeys. Different kinds of leaves in a rainbow of greens filled several sheets, and there were at least five kinds of butterflies fluttering against a blue sky.
The bright, primary colors radiated energy. She’d avoided any muted tones, so that even on the darkest day, the mural would draw attention and distract young patients from any fears.
Her husband stared in wide-eyed amazement. His shock was so complete that she had to laugh.
“What?”
“You did this.” He looked at her. “You did this, Boston.”
He sounded thrilled and relieved, making her wonder how worried he’d been. She shrugged.
“Andi asked me to paint a mural in her office. Actually I think it might have been my idea, but she agreed. I know it’s not real work, but I’m trying.”
He smiled at her. “It’s great. The kids are going to love it. I like the monkeys.”
“They’re very happy.”
“They’re going to be trouble. You can see it in their eyes.”
She laughed. “I hope so.”
He held out his arm. She stepped into his embrace. Her hands settled on his back and she instinctively raised her head for his kiss. His mouth moved against hers.
She closed her eyes and let herself be swept away. They’d done this a million times before. It was easy. They just had to r
emember how much they loved each other and how good it felt.
She reached for his hand and drew it to her breast. When his fingers brushed against her tight nipple, her breath caught in her throat. She slid her hand down his belly to his groin and rubbed her palm against his penis. But before she could begin the second stroke, he moved away.
The rejection was as stinging as it was complete.
“I’m going to go next door and check on the progress,” he said. “Congratulations on the mural.”
Then he was gone.
Boston stood alone in her studio. Her body still buzzed with sexual arousal, but her heart grew heavy in her chest. The truth she’d been avoiding for so long now seemed unavoidable.
She and Zeke had both chosen not to feel their grief. He coped with drinking and she’d lost herself in her painting. She’d known there were problems but had assumed they would come out the other side together. Because they’d always been together.
But while she’d taken the first painful step on the road to being better, Zeke had not. They were out of sync and for the first time she began to wonder if they would ever find their way back to each other.
Chapter Fifteen
A GOOD KISSING could carry a woman for a while, Andi realized the next morning when her body was still doing the internal happy dance and she found herself wanting to break into spontaneous song. So far she’d limited the latter to her shower that morning, but she knew she would have to monitor herself closely. Most parents preferred their children’s doctor to be serious and attentive. Not lost in daydreams and humming pop tunes.
Still, she was one happy camper. The brief kiss had made her wonder what taking things to the next level would be like. Sex with Matt had been adequate but far from inspiring. Just once in her life, Andi would like to be swept away by passion.
She grinned as she completed a file. Okay, maybe not just once. At least twice for sure.
Nina knocked on the open door, a file in her hand. Her eyebrows were drawn together in a look of concern. “We have a walk-in. Madison Phillips. She’s twelve.”
Andi nodded. “I know her. Rather I’ve met her mom and her sisters. She lives next to me.”
“Right. Deanna has a permission-to-treat form on file, so you can see her without calling, which seems to be an issue with Madison. She wants to talk to you without you contacting her mom first.”
That was never happy news, Andi thought. She logged out of her computer and stood. “Okay. Let’s go find out what the problem is.”
There were generally only a few reasons a girl wanted to talk to her doctor without her parents knowing, and none of them were good. Twelve, Andi thought, hoping the girl wasn’t pregnant. Although it was physically possible, it was never healthy for a child that age to be having sex. A supportive family was a must, and Andi’s few encounters with Deanna didn’t give her a lot of hope for that.
She took the file from Nina.
“Room two,” her nurse said.
“Thanks.”
Andi scanned the file. Madison had been treated for the usual kid stuff. Bronchitis, a sprained wrist. The rest of her visits had been for vaccinations and wellness certificates for trips or activities.
She closed the file and tapped on the door, then walked in.
“Hi, Madison,” she said with a smile. “I’m Andi Gordon.”
Madison looked like a slightly older version of her sisters. The long, pale blond hair and big blue eyes. She was pretty with coltish long legs and thin arms. Her mouth started to curve up in a smile, but didn’t quite make it.
“Hi, Dr. Gordon.”
Andi pulled up a stool and settled on it. She dropped the file onto the counter and prepared to listen. “You can call me Andi.”
“Thanks.” Madison glanced around the room. “Lucy talks about you a lot. So do the twins. They say you’re really nice. Carrie likes you, too.” She looked at Andi, then away. “She’s my best friend.”
“Oh, right. Wade’s daughter. Carrie’s great.” Andi’s stomach twisted into a knot. If Madison was having sex, Carrie might be, as well. Oh, God, that was so not a conversation she wanted to have with Wade.
Madison cleared her throat for a second time. “Thank you for seeing me. I know I didn’t have an appointment.” She paused. “I’m supposed to be at a friend’s house.”
“I’m glad you stopped by.” She kept her posture relaxed, determined to let the girl speak in her own time.
Madison stared at her hands. Finally she raised her head and drew in a breath.
“I got my period. It’s my first time and I didn’t know if I was supposed to tell anyone. Carrie said I should, and I thought of you.”
Andi did her best to keep her expression from giving away the relief that flooded her. A period was easy. A normal part of growing up. Although shouldn’t Madison be having this conversation with her mother?
Andi smile gently. “How are you feeling? Any cramping?”
“A little. I think. I just feel kind of weird, you know?”
“I do, believe me. Okay, I’m going to give you a quick recap on what’s happening with your body right now and what you can expect to continue to happen. You probably won’t get regular periods for a few months. Your body has to settle in to this stage of your development.”
She talked briefly about the changes Madison could expect and how to manage the symptoms.
“You need supplies,” she said. “Do you have those?”
Madison shook her head. “I took a few things from my mom’s bathroom.”
Andi glanced at her watch. “Okay. We’ll go to the drugstore and get you what you need.”
“I don’t want to use tampons,” Madison said quickly. “Not yet.”
“That’s fine. When you’re ready we can talk about them. They’re easy and safe, as long as you follow the directions.” She paused. “You know, this is the sort of thing you might want to talk to your mom about.”
Madison’s expression hardened. “No, thanks,” she said quickly. “I don’t want her to know.”
Andi’s radar went on alert. “Is there anything I should know about how she treats you?”
“She’s horrible. Selfish. She has a lot of rules that are so unfair. Sometimes I think she’s sorry she had us. If we weren’t around, she could have a perfect house and not have to worry we were going to mess up.”
Madison bit her lower lip. “Sometimes my dad gets so sad. I’ve seen him look at her as if he can’t figure out why she’s not happy with him. She’s always telling him what to do and then complaining he’s doing it wrong. I wish he’d leave her and take us with him.”
Madison’s eyes filled with tears. “She’s so mean. Last night the twins asked for ice cream and she just started screaming.”
Andi knew there was a thin line between a parent losing it on occasion and crossing into emotional abuse. As a doctor, she was responsible for the safety of her patients. She also knew the danger of overreacting, reporting something that didn’t exist and ripping a family apart.
She’d spent time with Lucy and the twins. None of them had shown any signs of serious trouble at home. The girls were friendly and open, imaginative and stable.
Madison was smack in the middle of puberty and experiencing her first real hormone rush. That would make anyone emotional. Were Deanna’s actions those of a woman who wasn’t naturally warm or were they something more destructive?
“I’m sorry you’re not comfortable talking about this with your mom,” Andi told her. “As your doctor, I need her to know what’s happening with you.”
Madison crossed her arms in front of her chest. “I don’t want to talk about it with her.”
“I’ll tell her that. I hope she’ll respect your request, but I can’t guarantee it. Madison, do you feel safe at home
?”
Madison was quiet for several seconds. “I know what you’re asking. It’s not like that. She doesn’t hit us. It’s different.”
“Okay. If you ever don’t feel safe, come tell me, okay?”
Madison nodded.
“Then I guess we’re going to the drugstore to buy you supplies.” She stood. “Hmm, I’m thinking after that, we’ll need to go to Starbucks. How does that sound?”
“Good.” Madison rose. “Thank you. Carrie was right. You’re really easy to talk to.”
The preteen flung herself at Andi and hung on tight.
* * *
Andi was not looking forward to having any kind of conversation with Deanna. Her brief encounters with the other woman hadn’t been exactly warm and fuzzy. Plus, the gossip at her staff lunch hadn’t done much to make her anything but nervous.
She tried to convince herself to put off the conversation, but knew that was a bad idea. She wasn’t going to talk to Deanna as a concerned neighbor, but as her daughter’s doctor. This was important and her personal apprehension couldn’t get in the way.
Fortunately her last appointment ended early and she was able to duck out at four. She drove home and went directly to Deanna’s before she could talk herself out of it or get distracted by wishing for another kissing encounter with Wade.
She reached the front porch and pressed the bell. A few seconds later, Deanna opened the door.
“Hi, Deanna,” Andi said. “I wondered if you had a minute.”
Her neighbor stared at her for a second, as if trying to place her.
“I’m Andi Gordon,” Andi said, and pointed to her house. “I live there. I’m the pediatrician.”
“Of course,” Deanna said, stepping back and motioning for her to enter. “Sorry. I’ve been distracted lately. Come in, please.”
Deanna was as well dressed as she had been the last time Andi had seen her. The dark blue twin set was the same color as her eyes. Tailored khakis showed off her slim hips and long legs. She had on makeup, gold hoops and even lipstick. Andi felt disheveled by comparison. Her clothes were wrinkled from a day at work, and she was pretty sure her mascara had migrated to under her eyes, giving her that attractive raccoon look.
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