When I Look to the Sky

by Barbara S. Stewart

  Carlee and Reta met Magda and Adrianna at two that afternoon to learn to make pasta. They were helping prepare the evening meal. Carlee knew she would never attempt making pasta at home, but she was looking forward to the experience. Matthew and Arno were there to watch. Matthew gave Arno some tips, and they both took lots of pictures. The women made pasta e fagioli using more of the borlotti beans, and spaghetti alla Carbonara. Carlee loved the experience.

  The next day, Carlee and Matthew traveled to Gaiole, visiting a winery where they tasted, and chose wine to ship home. They were already sending wine home from the villa, along with some of the olives and olive oil. Carlee couldn’t wait to share some with Andy when he came over.

  Friday, tired and dreading the end of their stay, they stayed in bed until noon. Not wanting to leave the villa, they ventured out to relax by the pool. They spent one last evening enjoying Arno and Reta’s company before turning in. They were departing the next morning.

  “I’ve loved this, Matthew,” Carlee said as Matthew held her that night. “It’s so beautiful here; I wish we could stay just a little longer.”

  “Me too. We have hundreds of beautiful pictures to remember this special trip, and I promise you we will make more trips.”

  They spent their last night making love.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE ~ Back to the Real World

  Matthew had another week before classes resumed at the University. He worked on lesson plans, and what he would share with the students. He had plenty of pictures to explain technique, lighting, aperture, filters, depth of field… and he was looking forward to it.

  He printed the picture of Carlee, wet in the field, framed it and had it on the table by his bedside. He printed one of the calla lily pictures along with several of the landscape pictures and they framed them. Carlee drew a design layout of the prints and they hung them in a grouping on a wall in the living room to remind them of their trip. And he printed one of Carlee with the poppies to submit for a contest he’d been contemplating, but he didn’t tell her.

  He also sent the pictures from the latest camp experience to Dean Rollins. They were good, even better than the two previous years. One evening, he and Carlee were on the sofa watching television when Matthew’s phone rang.

  “Hello Matthew. I hope you don’t mind, Andy gave me your number.”

  “Not at all,” Matthew replied. “Hang on, here’s Carlee.”

  “Actually, it’s you I’d like to chat with,” Dean told him.

  “Oh sure, just assumed,” Matthew replied. Carlee was lying on the sofa with her head on his lap. As he talked, he lovingly stroked her hair.

  “I wanted to personally thank you for the photographs. There are some incredible images. Some of them are very deep, very personal.”

  “I think each time I go and take the photos they become more personal to me, so it’s easy to get those shots,” Matthew explained.

  “They made me think, and thinking took me down several paths. I’d like to share my thoughts,” Dean explained.

  “Sure. Yes, sir.”

  “You know the cabins and meeting areas at the camp are minimal - four walls, tables and chairs, bunks; they contain what we need. I was thinking that some of those pictures to go on the walls would liven up those rooms, especially in the common areas. I believe it would show the kids who’ve never been what to expect. And there are some that I would like to go in our meeting rooms at our offices. Not just here, all over the U.S.”

  “Sure, that would be great!” Matthew said excitedly.

  “One more thing,” he said, “we’re getting ready to roll out a National Campaign and we’d like to use your photos in our printed materials and the television ads. I’d like you to meet with our legal team to assure you get proper credit and compensation.”

  “Wow,” Matthew said. Carlee sat up. Hearing the conversation, she was beaming, but suddenly she felt that wave of nausea come on and sat very still. “We won’t be stateside for a while.”

  “Our attorney will come to you. I’ll have a contract drawn up and sent, for you to review. After you look it over we’ll make the arrangements.”

  “Thank you sir,” Matthew said.

  “We’ll talk soon. Be well, and give Carlee my love.”

  After he hung up, he pulled Carlee to him for a kiss. “How exciting is that?”

  He quickly took his phone again and started to dial. She heard the ring on the other end and assumed it was Geni he was calling, but it was Andy’s voice she heard. Matthew shared his news while Andy told him how proud he was. It made Carlee smile. She knew he was missing his dad.

  “You OK?” he asked after he hung up, suddenly concerned. She had hardly moved after she sat up, and she looked pale.

  “I’m fine,” she laughed.

  “Liar,” he said with a smile. “What’s wrong?”

  “When I sat up I got that swimmy feeling and felt kinda like I was gonna throw-up.”

  “Carlee,” he said looking at her very seriously, “I have to ask. Are you pregnant?”

  “NO! No… I don’t think so!” she replied and then started bawling.

  “Should we get a pregnancy test, just in case?” he asked gently rubbing her back.

  “But what if I am?” she asked.

  “Then we’re gonna have a baby!” he said.

  The next morning, before she was up, he ran out to buy a pregnancy test, asking the pharmacist to give advice on the best choice. When he got home she was in the kitchen preparing breakfast.

  “I bought us a surprise,” he said wrapping her in his arms. He handed her the test kit, and she started crying.

  “I don’t want to do it,” she said, the tears streaming down her face. “I’m afraid. I can’t be pregnant, Matthew!”

  “Well, I think it’s possible, and it won’t do any good if I pee on it,” he said trying to keep it light.

  Reluctantly, she went to the bathroom. First, she sat on the toilet with the lid down to gather her thoughts. She felt sick, but not the nausea she’d been experiencing; this was nerves. Unwrapping the package, she read the instructions and the tears came quicker. Lifting the lid, she prepared herself to do the deed. She put it on the counter where she couldn’t see it and called out, “Matthew, I can’t look at it.”

  He came in and looked at the stick, not sure he was ready to look either. He knew no matter what, they would deal with it, but he was nervous too. He sat on the stool at her vanity, and reached for her hand. “Carlee, whatever it is, it’s good. Are you ready?”

  She rose and went to him and sat on his lap, curling into his arms. “Just do it,” she said.

  He flipped it over. “Negative,” he said and Carlee started crying again.

  “Because you’re sad?” he asked holding her.

  “No. Relieved. I don’t think we’re ready for a baby.”

  “Well, I couldn’t say if I was ready or not, but if this isn’t what it is, what’s causing this nausea?” he asked.

  “It’s nothing,” she said.

  But Matthew wondered. “When do you see the doctor again?”

  “Four more weeks,” she said. “It’s nothing.”

  A week later, Matthew was back at school. Carlee hadn’t had any more of the nausea and they were both relieved. The package from the Cancer Foundation arrived and Matthew met with the Esquire who helped with his book. Two weeks later, Dean Rollins and the attorney from the Cancer Foundation met him and Carlee at the Esquire’s office. They came to agreement on terms, signed the contract, and Matthew had another big project to be proud of.

  Fall was creeping in; leaves were changing, the temperatures cooled, and their life as a couple was happily coming together. Carlee explored her schedule options for the January semester, excited to get back and finish her studies.

  ~ ~ ~

  The Fifty Years of the Menner Center Gala was fast approaching; Geni just wanted it to get it over with. She thought about Andy’s offer, but she hadn’t mentioned it again. Sitting o
n the sofa, enjoying a quiet evening, her phone rang.

  “Hello stranger,” Andy said when she answered. “Haven’t heard from you in a while, thought I’d check in.”

  “Well, hello,” she said. “I was thinking the same thing. I’ve been so busy getting things settled for the Gala. I’ll be glad when it’s over! Someone needs to teach me to say the word ‘no.’ I know I can do it. I’ve spit it out once or twice in the past, but sometimes that other word pops out of my mouth before my brain has a chance to get no formed,” she laughed.

  Andy found that he loved that sound. He heard it in his head even when she wasn’t around, and he liked it.

  “How about a sharing a glass of wine with me this evening?” he asked.

  Geni walked to the kitchen and poured a glass as they talked. “So what’s been going on with you?” she asked him.

  “I’ve been in the studio. Marco and I are working with Nigel on a project, just music for him. It’s coming together nicely, really beautiful; it’s more on the jazzy side, kinda sexy,” he said with a laugh. “I’m doing some background noise for him.”

  “Background noise? Like tambourines and such?” Geni asked.

  “No, humming and whispering sexy-shit,” he laughed in reply.

  Geni suddenly heard it in her head and shook the feeling away.

  “I like it. Zane’s been writing so I’ve been working with him, and I heard from Addy this week, and she’s ready to get to work, as well, so I’ve been busy. But, I really called to run something by you and to get the date for the Gala. It’s the 22nd, right?”

  “Oh, please Andy, don’t bother yourself with that; I told you it’s just a big schmooze fest,” she laughed.

  “What… you think I can’t schmooze?” he laughed.

  “Oh no, it’s just that I don’t want you to feel like you need to do it just because I mentioned that I wasn’t looking forward to it.”

  “It would be nice to share your company, and see the guys,” he quickly added.

  “Well then, come on!”

  “I already have reservations at the Hilton closest to you for the night,” he said, and laughed.

  Geni started to invite him to come to the house, but she wasn’t sure that was a good idea, and she hesitated.

  “What time?” he asked.

  “The doors open at 6:30 for the pre-butt-kissing,” she laughed. “I’ll be there most of the day helping get things in order. Why don’t you just plan on coming to the house around 5:30? I’ll tell Thomas and Brian to come here first and we’ll have a cocktail before we go. The Menner is just around the corner. You said there was something else?”

  “It can wait. We’ll talk about it when I’m there,” he told her, already looking forward to her company.

  “If you’ll stay for a while on Sunday I’ll make some chicken and dumplings and have the guys over,” she said.

  “I believe I’m the one incapable of saying no, now,” he laughed.

  ~ ~ ~

  Andy called Carlee the next morning, “Hey love!”

  “Hey, Papa!” She felt a lump in her throat as she said it. “I miss you somethin’ awful!” They spoke almost daily, but she was suddenly very homesick, very emotional, missing him.

  “Me too, sweetheart, got time for a chat?” he asked.

  “I’ve always got time for you,” she said, and he loved the smile he heard in her voice.

  “I’m going to Geni’s the end of the month to escort her to a ‘butt-kissing’ Gala she’s been working on,” he said and laughed. “Her words, not mine!”

  “That’s nice, I think,” she laughed.

  “We were talking and she said she was dreading it so I offered to go. Thomas and Brian will be going too. I’m kind of looking forward to it,” he said apprehensively.

  “Butt-kissing is always a good time,” she laughed, but she liked that he was stepping out.

  As they talked, the door to the flat opened and Matthew had a look of excitement on his face. “Uh oh,” Carlee laughed. “The hubster is home and I haven’t done a dang thing all day but lay around eating bon-bons!”

  Matthew laughed out loud as she said it. “Papa, I love you, and I miss you so much I can hardly tell you! Say ‘hey’ to Matthew,” she said and Andy blew the kiss that he always ended their phone calls with, into the phone.

  After he hung up, Carlee stretched up on her tip toes and put her arms around his neck. “Hello, tall, dark, handsome man,” she purred. “What has this excited look on your face?”

  “You. You always put an excited look on my face.” He lifted her off the floor and as he did, she started to feel that swimmy feeling. She curled into the warmth of him, her face at his neck; she hugged him a little closer, and wrapped her legs around his waist.

  “I’m just happy to be home. Mmm, this is nice,” Matthew said. Finally, sitting her on the kitchen counter, she felt the nausea slowly go away. They were face-to-face,

  “There’s more, I can tell. You have secret or happy news to share,” she said and waited.

  “I do!” He turned to grab his briefcase, and pulled out the photo of her in the red hat with the poppies in the background.

  “Yes?” she asked anxiously.

  “I submitted this for a contest. I didn’t win anything, but…”

  “Oh, come on, I can’t stand it… What is it?” she begged.

  “Someone shared the picture with Diego Aceveda…”

  “The perfume guy?” she interrupted.

  “Yes,” he said, attempting to keep his excitement in control.

  “And?”

  “And they are getting ready for a worldwide debut of a new fragrance…”

  “Oh, my gosh, will you just tell me!” she yelled.

  “The name of the fragrance is Scarlett Poppies, and they want to use this picture in their release and ads!”

  “How cool is that?” she yelled.

  “You’ll be famous!” he laughed.

  “No, you will!” she laughed.

  “Ok, we will!” he replied. Putting his arms around her waist, he slid her toward him and said, “People will know it’s you.”

  “Only if we tell them,” she laughed.

  “Look at it this way, we could say who it is and maybe people won’t care, maybe they will. Or we could take great care to keep it private and then “the woman in the picture” becomes an enigma, a mystery, and then everyone wants to know who she is.”

  “I see what you mean,” she said after a minute or two thinking it over. “It is a beautiful picture… my hat in magazines all over the world!”

  ~ ~ ~

  Andy made the trip to Jacksonville the day of the gala, checking into the hotel around one that afternoon. He rested a while, and then dressed for the evening, arriving at Geni’s just as Thomas and Angela pulled up. They exchanged hugs and went inside.

  “Hey Mom! We’re here!” Thomas yelled.

  As Geni came around the corner, Andy looked up. She was stunning.

  “Wow, Momma Davis. What a dress!” Angela said hugging her.

  “Wow’s good!” Geni hugged her, and then Thomas. Then she went to Andy. She hugged lightly and quickly, and Thomas noticed her back away and smiled.

  “Geni, you look beautiful,” Andy said.

  “Why, thank you,” she said as Brian and Malia came in the back door. Geni handed Andy a bottle of wine; he opened it and poured a glass for all of them.

  Finally, the three couples made their way to the Menner Center. Andy noticed the whispers as they entered the room. But this time it wasn’t whispers over ‘Andy Stevens.’ This was whisperings of ‘Genevieve Davis is with a man.’

  Geni had her hand through the bend in Andy’s arm as they followed her sons into the event. She noticed the whispers too, and leaned into him to whisper in his ear. “They’d have whispered ‘Poor Geni’ if I had come alone. Now they’re whispering, ‘dang, who’s that good-looking-man Geni is with?’” she laughed.

  Mayor Dancy Delaney made his wa
y toward them. “Genevieve, you look beautiful, as always.”

  “Thank you, Dancy. I don’t know if you’ve met my sons; this is Thomas and his wife Angela, Brian and his wife Malia. And this is my good friend, Andy Stevens,” she said.

  “Ah, the holiday music for the Schumacher Center,” he said as he shook Andy’s hand. “It’s a pleasure to meet all of you. Genevieve, as always, you’ve outdone yourself.”

  “Thank you Mayor, I always have great help. Enjoy the evening.” She turned to Andy and whispered, “Butt-kiss number one… check!” Thomas and Brian heard her, and laughed out loud.

  A string quartet played soft music as hors d’oeuvres were served. The men went to the bar for drinks. The Center had a variety of artwork displayed for the event. “All local artists for this event,” Geni explained as she and Andy mingled. She introduced him often, and returned to her family several times with a ‘butt-kiss count’ that kept them laughing throughout the evening.

  Finally, it appeared that the schmoozing was complete, and the enjoyment could begin. Brian took Malia to the dance floor and then Thomas and Angela joined them.

  “Shall we?” Andy asked Geni.

  “I’d love to,” Geni replied and took his hand to join him.

  Andy held her close as they danced. He saw her smile, and it made him happy. She was wearing a bright peach-colored, one-shouldered gown with a trail of sparkles from the shoulder, curving down and around her waist. It was form-fitting to her knees, where it flared slightly to the floor. Angela was right, ‘what a dress,’ he thought.

  Andy looked down as they danced and saw toes polished just a darker shade of peach than the dress. He looked up and noticed her hair; it was dark, like Matthew’s, and twisted into an up-style in the back. She was accessorized perfectly, and beautiful Andy thought.

  “You look like Jaclyn Smith,” he whispered in her ear.