MB05 - After the Dance is Over

by Joan Jonker

  ‘Nellie, they’ll be so much alike yer’ll think they’re twins. If I can possibly manage it, I’ll get two that come from the same lamb. Now I can’t say fairer than that, can I?’ The butcher pushed his straw hat to the back of his head. ‘In fact, I think that’s deserving of a cream slice.’

  ‘Oh, you can sod off, Tony Reynolds, there’s not enough room at me window for you.’

  There was curiosity in the butcher’s eyes and he was just about to ask what Nellie’s window had to do with a cream slice when Molly took matters into her own hands. ‘I’m in a bit of a hurry today, Tony, so could yer serve us, please?’

  ‘I’ll serve yer, Molly,’ Ellen said, taking a tray of chopped stewing meat out of the window. ‘And I’ll see to Nellie while Tony puts the breasts of lamb away before all the lean ones go.’

  Nellie was having the time of her life. She’d get a good telling off from Molly when they got outside, but it was worth it just to see her going all of a dither. Why her mate didn’t want people to know they were going to watch new neighbours moving in tomorrow Nellie couldn’t make head nor tail of. I mean, what harm was there in it? It passed an hour or so away, and yer got some idea of what yer new neighbours were like.

  ‘Two bob each they are, ladies,’ Tony said. ‘D’yer want to pay me now or in the morning?’

  ‘We’ll pay now and get it over with.’ Molly reached into the basket for her purse. ‘Come on, slow coach, get yer money out for the man. How much is it with the stew, Tony?’

  ‘Three bob each and we’ll call it quits.’

  Molly held out her hand. ‘Cough up, sunshine, and we’ll be on our way.’

  ‘I’ll settle up with yer when we get to the greengrocer’s, save getting me purse out now.’ Nellie gave the butcher a sly wink. ‘How much did yer say I owe?’

  ‘Three bob, Nellie, and cheap at half the price.’

  ‘Did yer hear that, girl, I owe yer three bob. Remind me in case I forget.’

  ‘Yer don’t owe me anything, sunshine, ’cos I’m not paying Tony just ’cos you’re too ruddy lazy to get yer purse out. If I let yer get away with it yer’d pull the same stunt in the greengrocer’s, and I’d end up having to fight for me money. Besides, I’ve only got enough to buy what I want, it’s not pay day until tomorrow.’ Molly looked at Ellen and tutted. ‘For some reason this one thinks I’m made of money. The best of it is, there’s three working in her house so she should be loaded instead of crying poverty all the time.’

  ‘I don’t cry poverty, I’m just careful with me money.’ Nellie pretended to be hurt as she counted what was in her purse and handed over the exact money. ‘Yer’ve really upset me now, girl, I’m cut to the quick.’

  ‘It’s not me what’s upset yer, sunshine, it’s just that yer hate parting with money. But now it’s all been sorted out, can we get on our way before the day’s over?’

  Molly left the shop first and didn’t see the sly wink Nellie gave to the two behind the counter which told them that it was all in fun. And she had more up her sleeve.

  ‘Are we going for the spuds now, girl, or to Hanley’s for our bread?’

  ‘Bread first, in case they run out.’ Molly glanced sideways and thought her friend looked downcast so she held her arm out. ‘Stick yer leg in, sunshine, and cheer up.’

  ‘I’m all right, girl, it’s me corns what are playing up on me.’ This was far from the truth for Nellie was concocting her next trick. ‘While we’re at Hanley’s, I’ll ask Edna to put two cream slices away for us in the morning.’

  ‘That’s a good idea, sunshine, ’cos the cream cakes sell out in no time.’

  ‘I was thinking, girl, that Ruthie could pick them up after she’s been to the butcher’s and I could settle up with yer later.’

  Molly came to a standstill. ‘Why, you crafty monkey! Yer tempt me to your house with the offer of tea and a cream slice, and I end up paying for the blinking thing meself. And yours into the bargain! If yer think I’m falling for that, sunshine, then yer’ve got another think coming.’

  ‘Yeah, ye’re right, girl,’ Nellie said, looking contrite. ‘Especially as ye’re bringing the chair up for me to sit on.’

  ‘Who said I’m bringing the chair up?’

  ‘You did, girl!’

  ‘I never said no such thing! I think you just hear what yer want to hear. It was you what suggested me bringing the chair, I never said I would.’

  ‘Ah, but yer never said yer wouldn’t so I thought yer were in agreement.’

  They joined the queue outside the confectioner’s and smiled at the neighbours who were in front of them. Then Molly carried on, ‘Yer know what thought did, don’t yer, sunshine?’

  Before Nellie could answer, the two women in front spoke as one: ‘He followed a muck cart and thought it was a wedding.’

  ‘Then he must have been as blind as a bat and had no sense of smell.’ Nellie saw an opening and took it. ‘Ay, Bessie, did yer know the new people were moving into Vera Harwick’s house tomorrow?’

  ‘Ooh, are they?’ Bessie folded her arms under a bosom not much smaller than Nellie’s. ‘I wonder what they’ll be like?’

  ‘Me and Molly were saying just the same thing about five minutes ago. Weren’t we, girl? I mean, it’s only natural to be curious. Nosy, even!’

  Molly looked at her best mate and wondered how it was she always turned a conversation round to where she wanted it. Then she saw the chubby face crease and the eyes dance with mischief, and she put back her head and roared with laughter.

  Bessie and her neighbour never did find out what Molly was laughing at because the queue began to move and they all shuffled forward.

  ‘Ah, ay, Mam!’ Ruthie pulled a face. ‘Why can’t you go to the shops? Yer always do on a Saturday, with Auntie Nellie.’

  Molly breathed in through her teeth. It was no good telling her daughter a lie because she’d be playing in the street with Bella and would soon realise her mother wasn’t in. Anyway, it was wrong to tell a child a deliberate lie unless there was a good reason for it. ‘If I tell yer something will yer keep it to yerself? Scouts honour?’

  Ruthie grinned. ‘Is it worth a penny?’

  ‘Oh, go on, then.’ Molly pulled a chair out. ‘Sit down for a minute.’ When her daughter was seated facing her, Molly started at the beginning and left nothing out. Halfway through, Ruthie was laughing so much the tears were rolling down her cheeks.

  ‘Auntie Nellie should be on the stage, she’s so funny. Go on, Mam, tell us the rest.’

  By this time Molly could see how hilarious it was and her own chuckles were loud. She ended with the queue moving up and Nellie’s eyes dancing with mischief. ‘So there yer have it, sunshine. A morning in the company of yer Auntie Nellie.’

  ‘Have yer told me dad?’

  ‘No, I haven’t, but he’ll find out if that furniture van doesn’t turn up before him and Tommy come in from work at one o’clock. I can just imagine what he’ll say: that I’ve got a screw loose. He’d be right, too, I have! Anyway, I’ll have to come back for half-twelve to see to their dinner. I made the stew last night and it only needs warming up.’

  ‘Ye’re going to have to tell him, yer won’t be able to keep it to yerself. Besides I bet he wouldn’t say yer had a screw loose, he’d see the funny side.’

  ‘Aye, well, I’ll see how the land lies first. If the van has been and gone by the time him and Tommy get home, I’ll tell them.’ Molly pushed herself to her feet. ‘You put yer coat on, sunshine, and get down to the shops. I’ve got to carry that ruddy chair up to Nellie’s and I’m taking it the back way so nobody will see me.’

  ‘I’ll be out in the street with Bella, so we’ll be watching the van getting unloaded, too.’ Ruthie had her own streak of devilment. ‘We’ll wave to yer through the window.’

  Molly looked horror-stricken. ‘Don’t you dare, yer’ll give the game away!’

  ‘Only kiddin’, Mam, but I gotcha there.’

  ‘And I’ll get you, you
young madam, if yer don’t hurry up to the shops. Ask Tony to wrap the meat separately, leave one here in the pantry and bring the other to Nellie’s, with the two cream slices.’ A memory flashed through Molly’s head and she grinned. ‘Ay, remember the last time yer went for cakes for me? Yer licked all round the edges and left hardly any cream inside. Well, see that doesn’t happen today.’

  ‘Oh, that’ll never happen again ’cos I’ve got more sense now. Instead of licking the sides, I’d take the top off and pinch the cream from the middle so no one would ever know.’

  ‘You do that and I’ll marmalise yer! Now don’t forget the meat’s been paid for and yer’ve got sixpence in yer pocket for the cakes. There’ll be tuppence change, I want a penny back and you can have the other one. On yer way now before Nellie comes to drag me up.’

  ‘And the chair, Mam, don’t forget the chair.’

  ‘Sunshine, a snowball stands more chance in hell than I do of Nellie ever letting me forget that ruddy chair.’

  Nellie heard her entry door open and rushed to the window to see Molly carefully carrying the chair up the yard. She opened the kitchen door, saying, ‘Trust you to be late! The van’s just arrived and we’re not settled in our seats yet.’

  ‘Have they unloaded it?’ Molly asked, manoeuvring the chair so it didn’t get scratched. ‘If they haven’t, what’s all the fuss about?’

  ‘I don’t want to miss anything, that’s what!’ Nellie had moved the small table from the front window and George’s fireside chair was strategically placed to afford a good view. ‘Put it down there, girl, and we’ll both be able to see everything.’

  ‘I don’t believe I’m doing this,’ Molly said. ‘I must be barmy.’

  But when the removal men began to carry the furniture out, both women were on the edge of their seats. ‘Ay, I like that sideboard, girl, it’s a good one.’ And the moquette-covered couch was also to Nellie’s liking. ‘No springs sticking up there, girl, not like my old thing which leaves marks on me backside.’

  ‘So, the new neighbours seem to be meeting with yer approval,’ Molly said. ‘Which is just as well as yer’ll be seeing plenty of them.’

  ‘Early days yet, girl, early days.’ Nellie’s nose twitched as she moved too close to the net curtains. ‘As my old ma used to say, yer can never judge a book by its cover.’

  Ruthie came in the back way with the cakes and Nellie’s meat and placed them on the table. ‘I’m going, Mam, I don’t want to miss anything.’

  ‘Turn up the gas under the kettle on yer way out, sweetheart,’ Nellie called, not taking her eyes from the window. ‘I’ll make yer mam a drink in a minute.’

  Ruth did as she was asked, then popped her head round the door. ‘Have they got any children, d’yer know?’

  ‘We’ve seen a boy of about fourteen, sunshine, but whether he’s with the removal men or one of the family, we wouldn’t know.’

  ‘Was he nice-looking?’

  ‘He didn’t look bad from where I’m sitting, but we’re not close enough to see if he had pimples or blackheads.’

  ‘I’m going before Bella gets her eyes on him first. Ta-ra, Mam. Ta-ra, Auntie Nellie.’

  Nellie pulled a face. ‘She takes after you, that one. Man mad.’

  Molly gave her a gentle dig. ‘I’m going to make the tea to stop meself from clocking yer one. But if anything exciting happens, give us a shout.’

  Twenty minutes later nothing of interest had happened and Molly was getting fed up and thinking of going home. Most of the furniture had been carried into the house now, and there were only tea chests and boxes left. Then Nellie said, ‘This must be the woman of the house – Mrs Mowbray.’

  Leaning forward for a closer look, Molly saw a woman of about her own age and build, with mousy-coloured hair. She couldn’t see her face because the woman had her back to them, talking to the young lad who was trying to lift a heavy box. Anyone with half an eye could see he wouldn’t be able to carry it, and Molly’s heart was in her mouth when she saw him dragging it to the edge of the van. ‘He’ll never manage that,’ she said, just seconds before an ornament of some description fell to the floor and smashed into smithereens. And it was then that the excitement started.

  ‘You stupid bugger!’ the woman screamed. ‘Just look what yer’ve done now. Put that bleedin’ box down before I break yer bleedin’ neck.’

  ‘I couldn’t help it, Mam,’ the boy wailed, ‘it wasn’t my fault.’

  ‘Whose bleedin’ fault was it then, yer stupid sod?’ The woman’s voice was loud and coarse. ‘Christ, I could kill yer with me bare hands.’

  Nellie jumped to her feet. ‘Can yer hear that, girl? Just listen to the language out of her, it’s enough to make yer blush. She’s definitely no lady.’

  Molly glanced at her friend to see if it was a joke, but no, Nellie’s face was straight. And so she wouldn’t see the laughter bubbling up, Molly hung her head. That had to be the funniest thing her mate had ever said. Because there wasn’t a swear word Nellie didn’t know, she could beat anyone at it. In fact, she’d probably invented most of them. She modified her language when she was with Molly, having been warned early in their friendship that she mustn’t use bad language in front of the children. But on her own, arguing or fighting with someone in the street, she could turn the air blue.

  ‘The whole street can hear her, yer know, girl, and she’s not going to be very popular with a tongue like that.’

  ‘Nellie, yer could outswear her any day. And so could a lot of the neighbours.’

  Looking really put out, Nellie said, ‘I don’t swear that much, girl! Yer’ve never heard me saying some of the words she’s using.’

  ‘Yer don’t in my presence, sunshine, but when I’m not around yer really let rip. The other day I heard yer talking to Mrs Plumbley in the entry and yer language was shocking. Yer could put the new neighbour to shame.’

  Nellie’s smile came slowly until her whole face was creased, eyes disappearing in the folds of flesh. ‘If ye’re going to sneak up on people, girl, then yer only get what yer deserve. Anyway, a good swear does yer good. It stops yer getting into a bad temper and taking it out on people. Telling them to bugger off is better than belting them in the mouth.’

  ‘In that case the new woman feels the same as you. If she hadn’t sworn at her son, she probably would have clocked him one.’

  ‘That’s true.’ Nellie’s head was nodding so quickly her chins didn’t know whether to do a foxtrot or a quickstep. ‘Perhaps the ornament he broke was special, sentimental, like, and she was upset.’

  ‘Could be! So yer see, for you to criticise her is like the pot calling the kettle black.’

  ‘Yeah, I see what yer mean, girl. I’ll tell yer what, to show I’m not bad-minded, shall I go and ask if she’d like me to make a pot of tea for her?’

  ‘That’s a very good idea, sunshine, one of the best yer’ve had today. And while ye’re doing that, I’ll get home and see to the dinner for Jack and Tommy coming home.’

  ‘Yer’ll be coming back, won’t yer, to see how I got on with Mrs Mowbray?’

  Molly shook her head. ‘Don’t forget you and George are coming to ours tonight, and Corker and Ellen. I’m going to make a sandwich cake and a batch of fairy cakes. It’s not going to be a party, just a gathering of friends with Corker going away tomorrow. I might nip up to the corner shop and ask Maisie and Alec if they’d like to slip down for an hour. We haven’t seen much of them since the wedding.’ She nodded to the chair. ‘You can bring that down with yer, I don’t feel like carting it back now but it’ll come in handy for tonight. Oh, and I don’t want yer to say a word about this morning to anyone, not even George. I won’t be telling my two, ’cos it’ll make a good subject for discussion with the gang. And a ruddy good laugh.’

  ‘Yer can rely on me, girl, I know when to keep me trap shut.’ Nellie waited until Molly was opening the back door before calling, ‘Oh, remind me to pay yer for the cakes sometime, in case it slips me mind.
Not that it would slip me mind, of course, but I wouldn’t want yer losing any sleep over it.’

  Molly never said a word about how she’d spent the hours before Jack and Tommy got home from work at one o’clock. As far as they were concerned it had been just like any other Saturday morning. But her youngest daughter, Ruthie, was the fly in the ointment. Her knowing looks and smirks as they sat around the table had Molly on tenterhooks, and she nearly jumped out of her skin when Jack said, ‘I see the new people have moved in, the van was leaving as we walked up the street.’

  After shooting Ruthie a warning glance, Molly asked God to forgive her before answering. ‘I knew they were moving in today, Nellie told me. They got the job over early, didn’t they?’

  ‘Have they got any nice-looking daughters?’ Tommy asked.

  ‘Ay, I’ll tell Rosie on you.’

  ‘Don’t do that, Mam, or she’ll hit me with the frying pan.’ Tommy grinned. ‘She doesn’t mess about, yer know, she uses both hands to get a good swing.’

  ‘We’ll know all about them tonight when Nellie comes down. Knowing her, she’ll probably be able to tell us how many blankets they’ve got on their beds.’ Molly got to her feet and picked up her empty plate. ‘There’s no rush, so take yer time. I want to make some cakes for tonight and I don’t want to leave it until the last minute. You relax and I’ll bring yer a cup of tea through.’

  ‘Have yer got enough in for tonight?’ Jack asked. ‘I mean in the drink line.’

  ‘Trust a man to ask about the drinks and not mention food.’ Molly tutted. ‘And don’t bother telling me that beer is food, either, ’cos I’ve heard all that before. Anyway, starting with the real food, I’ve got a tin of Spam I can open for sandwiches and I’m making some cakes. With a packet of biscuits, that’s going to have to be enough ’cos I don’t want to dip into me savings.’

  Tommy tilted his head. ‘What are yer saving up for, Mam? Better days?’

  She wasn’t about to tell him the truth, that was going to be a surprise when the time came. ‘Christmas, sunshine! It’ll be on us before we know it.’