Imaginary Grace

by Anne Holster

  Now for the dress. I went back to my room, shut the door, and carefully eased into the dress so as not to mess my hair. I managed to zip it up myself, which wasn’t an easy feat, then I slipped my feet into the shoes. When I looked in the mirror again, there was no denying it - I looked better than I’d ever looked in my life. In fact, I looked like a completely different person.

  The dress fit like a glove, hugging every curve, and my arms and shoulders looked extremely toned, thanks to all the extra time I’d spent at the gym over the past few months. In these shoes, my legs looked like they went on for miles, but incredibly enough, the best part was my hair –sleek and straight without a hint of frizz. I tossed it back and forth in front of the mirror, giggling.

  A glance at the nightstand clock told me it was time to go downstairs. I felt a rush of nervousness and reminded myself that I would be with Tanner, just like all those other nights. Except other nights, you weren’t wearing this dress. With another giggle, I opened my bag again and grabbed the light shawl my mother had insisted I bring, then took a final glance at myself in the mirror.

  Chapter 28

  Tanner

  I got back to my parents’ house in what I thought was plenty of time to get ready. My mother, however, seemed to disagree. As soon as I walked in the door she was telling me to hurry up and get dressed.

  “Relax,” I said, “I can be ready in ten minutes. Where’s Grace?”

  “She’s upstairs getting ready,” she said as she eyed the staircase. Then she grabbed my arm and pulled me towards the kitchen, cautiously looking around like she was on some sort of spy mission. “Tanner,” she whispered once she was sure we wouldn’t be overhead, “where did you find this girl? She’s absolutely lovely! We had such a nice day together and she was so polite!”

  “See, Mom,” I said, putting my hands on her shoulders, “I told you she was different. I knew you’d like her.”

  “Like her! That’s an understatement! If you mess this up, son, I’ll personally clobber you.” She playfully messed up my hair, but her expression was serious. “Now go get ready so we can leave. And use the downstairs bathroom. Grace is in the one upstairs. I left your suit hanging in my room.”

  “All right, all right,” I said laughing, “just give me ten minutes.” Then I disappeared into the bathroom.

  I was in and out of the shower in no time, then I slipped into my parents’ room to get dressed. It wasn’t until I began adjusting my tie in the mirror that I realized I was actually looking forward to tonight.

  Mom was right—it would be fun to see all my cousins again. And Mike and Abby, whom I hadn’t seen in a while, would be there too.

  Everything would be fine, as long as I didn’t lose sight as to why I was really here. I had a job to do, and that was to convince everyone (but mostly my parents) that without a doubt I was head-over-heels in love with nice, sweet lil’ Grace – and that was exactly what I was going to do.

  I put the palms of my hands on the dresser, and then I slowly leaned in close to the mirror, and whispered, “Showtime.” With one last smile at my reflection, I turned and headed out the door.

  I slowly sauntered down the hallway that led to the living room, where the three of them were waiting for me. As soon as I saw her, I felt my bottom jaw go slack. Who are you and what have you done with Grace?

  “Um… okay…everybody ready?” I realized I was stumbling over my words. Get a fuckin’ grip, Tanner.

  My parents nodded their heads, even as my mother grabbed her purse and my father went looking for his keys, which he did every time they went somewhere. Grace smiled and swung a wrap around her shoulders. Is this the same person I met back in September, the skinny nodder? When had this metamorphosis occurred and how had I not noticed? Grace had been hiding some rockin’ body under all those baggie hoodies. And that hair, it was so sexy, almost like a porn star’s.

  Don’t stare, idiot.

  My dad walked over with his keys jangling by one finger and placed them in my hand. He wanted me to drive so he could play co-pilot. I obliged, but I kept glancing in the rearview mirror at Grace as she softly spoke to my mom. Dad kept giving me directions and asking questions, but I just answered him with “yeahs” and “mmhmms”.

  I reminded myself that she was still the same boring Grace, just in a hotter package. With that settled, I put my eyes back on the road and kept them there the rest of the way to the church.

  When we got there most of the guests were already inside, so the four of us took a seat about halfway up the aisle. The ceremony started a few minutes later. Every now and again I glanced at Grace from the corner of my eye. For some reason I hadn’t said more than two words to her since we’d left the house. It certainly wasn’t that I was nervous – I don’t get nervous – it was something else, something I couldn’t quite put my finger on.

  When I glanced at her again, I could see that she was uncomfortable. I figured I should probably say something to her, so I leaned over and whispered, “You look really nice.”

  Did I just say that out loud? ‘Cause it sounded really lame.

  She smiled, casting her eyes downward, and said, “Thanks.” At least, I think that’s what she said-- her voice was so low I couldn’t really tell. I didn’t want to chance saying anything else, so I just kept my mouth shut for the rest of the ceremony.

  Finally it was over, and we waited forever in the line to greet the bride and groom. My mom had Grace’s ear for the entire time, so I couldn’t have said anything to her even if I wanted to. As we got closer to greeting Gavin and his new wife, I dropped back next to Grace and put my arm around her waist.

  Why did this suddenly feel awkward?

  “Tanner, my man, glad you could make it,” Gavin said, shaking my hand. Then he turned to his new wife and said, “This is Julia…and who’s this?” he said, smiling as he turned to Grace.

  “This is Grace,” I said as I pulled her close. “Grace, this is my cousin, Gavin.”

  “Nice to meet you, Gavin, Julia. It was a beautiful ceremony.”

  They both thanked us and we moved down the line, exchanging pleasantries with the rest of the bridal party. When we finally made it outside I turned to Grace, but she was gone. My mom had already descended on her like a vulture and was dragging her over to introduce her to my aunts.

  I didn’t know why I was annoyed; after all, things were going exactly as I wanted them to.

  That’s when I spotted my brother Mike and his wife, Abby, and I made a beeline right for them.

  “So, where is she?” Mike asked, as he gave me a hug.

  Abby chimed in, giggling, “Yeah, we’re dying to meet her. Your mom had me on the phone all afternoon filling me in on everything that is Grace.”

  “Mom’s holding her hostage over by Aunt Jean and Aunt Catherine,” I said, laughing humorlessly. “I guess you’ll meet her when we get there.”

  Most of the guests had already left for the reception hall when my mom finally appeared with Grace by her side. “Let’s go, we’re going to be late. Where’s your father? I don’t want to miss the cocktail hour.”

  Just then Dad appeared, and we all headed to the car. This time he insisted on driving; my mom got in beside him, leaving me and Grace to sit in the back.

  As we pulled away I nudged her, then pointed to my mom and shrugged apologetically. Grace just laughed quietly and whispered, “No, it’s okay,” then placed her hand on my knee. My eyes shot to where her hand was and she quickly moved it, apparently mistaking my look for disapproval. Shit. Well, there’s nothing you can do about it now. I’d just have to make up for it later.

  Goddamn, do I need a drink or what?

  It was a short drive to the reception hall, but with my dad driving it took us twice as long to get there. As soon as we got inside my mom latched onto Grace again so I headed straight for the bar and ordered myself a beer and a shot o
f tequila. After downing the shot, I realized I had no idea what Grace liked to drink. I walked over to her and Mom, and the minute my mother turned to speak to someone else, I grabbed Grace’s arm and led her to the bar.

  “Thanks,” she giggled, “Your mom’s great but I really need a drink.” She said she’d have a glass of white wine with a lot of ice. I got the bartender’s attention and ordered Grace’s drink and another beer for myself, then took her over to meet Mike and Abby. My brother waited until Grace was looking away, then gave me the thumbs up.

  After the introductions, Mike said, “Come on. All the cousins are meeting at the bar to do a shot with Gavin!”

  Sounded perfect. I definitely needed to get a good buzz going if I was going to shake this weird feeling. As I went to grab Grace’s hand, she pulled me back and said, “I’ll meet you over there, I’m going to hit the ladies’ room first.”

  Abby offered to go with her and show her where it was.

  “Okay, I’ll see you in a few,” I said, then Mike and I headed to the bar. On the way over he gave me a quick third-degree about Grace, but I kept it as vague as possible. I hated to bullshit my brother, so I changed the subject as quickly as I could without making it look obvious. Luckily, he didn’t seem suspicious.

  I downed two more shots of tequila, then switched to beer since it was a family wedding and I didn’t want to get sloppy drunk. Still, before long I was feeling loose and happy and the weird feeling I had had earlier was gone.

  It was several minutes before Grace returned with Abby, and I couldn’t help thinking my sister-in-law had been giving her the third degree as well. As soon as she was next to me, I smoothly snaked my arm around her waist, and everything felt perfectly normal. “Do you want another drink?”

  “Not yet,” she answered, still sipping her icy wine. She seemed to be comfortable enough considering she didn’t really know anyone, but I stayed next to her, always making sure to draw her in to the conversation.

  I noticed that Abby kept glancing at her and wondered again what they had talked about in the ladies’ room. Whatever it was, I decided I’d have to be extra attentive to Grace whenever Abby was around.

  When the cocktail hour was over, everyone began making their way to the main ballroom. I held back a minute at the bar, quickly finishing what was left of my beer. I set the empty bottle down, and then I didn’t know what came over me, but I just couldn’t seem to stop myself. I slid my hands around Grace’s waist and pulled her close as I bent down to kiss her neck. She smelled so fucking good. “You look really hot,” I whispered next to her ear, and this time it didn’t seem lame.

  She just smiled, lowering her eyes, but didn’t say anything. It was sexy as hell. I slowly pulled away, then gently took her hand and we made our way to our table in silence.

  Chapter 29

  Grace

  They were just serving the salads as we took our seats at the table. Thankfully, I was sitting next to Abby, who had been so nice to me all night and was easy to talk to. I took my seat, still feeling high as a kite after what Tanner had whispered in my ear at the bar. The night could end right now and I’d go home a happy girl.

  Tanner was constantly touching me. If his hand wasn’t lightly rubbing the back of my neck, then it was on my lower back or my thigh. I wouldn’t go so far as to say he was drunk, but he was definitely buzzed. I could smell the tequila on his breath when he whispered in my ear. I decided that I loved being around “buzzed” Tanner. I felt more relaxed, like he wasn’t watching me so closely.

  Everyone else at the table seemed very nice too. They were all cousins of Tanner’s, along with their dates. When the waiter came around, Tanner ordered me another glass of wine, making sure to tell him to put a lot of ice in it. Sigh!

  I was very careful about what I drank because I wanted to keep my wits about me. I didn’t want to make a bad impression by getting falling-down drunk. By this time the reception was in full swing, and I could tell that this was a rowdy bunch that liked to party.

  I finished my second glass of wine and had a perfect little buzz going myself. Not buzzed enough to fall off my shoes, but buzzed enough to be able to make small talk with everyone and not feel self-conscious. I figured I’d have one more glass and milk it until the end of the night.

  While Tanner was chatting with his cousin Jeff, Abby leaned over to me and in a low voice said, “How long did you say you’ve been seeing each other?”

  Of course I didn’t know what to say, so I kept it vague. “Um, not too long…we met in class last semester.”

  “Well, you must have made some impression,” Abby said with a smile. “Tanner doesn’t come to many family functions, I mean other than holidays, and he rarely-- if ever-- brings anyone, so you must be pretty special.”

  Now Abby had my full attention. I was finally going to get some little glimpse into Tanner’s past. Unfortunately, the gossip session was short-lived, because just then Tanner turned back around to face us.

  Abby winked at me and mouthed, “We’ll talk later,” before standing up and making her way to one of the other tables.

  A few minutes later, Gavin stopped by the table; he was gathering the guy cousins—all ten of them-- to do another shot at the bar. While they were gone I decided to make another trip to the ladies’ room.

  The dance floor was jam-packed, so it was going to be a challenge to make my way through. When I was about halfway across the dance floor the DJ started playing conga line music. I sped up to get out of the way, but I wasn’t quick enough and just before I reached the edge of the dance floor someone pulled me into the line.

  This can’t be happening.

  I couldn’t very well run away so I just went with it, hoping it would end soon and that Tanner wouldn’t be privy to the spectacle. Thankfully the bride requested a slow song, but my reprieve was brief because I was quickly scooped into the embrace of one of the groomsmen who had also been dragged into the conga line.

  We had only been dancing a short time when I heard a familiar voice say, “Can I cut in, Matt?” I turned to see Tanner; he had a strange look on his face.

  “Oh, sorry, Tanner, I didn’t know she was with you. “ Then he started to laugh.

  Tanner’s face broke into a grin. “No problem,” he said, and slid his arm around me. He was still smiling as he said, “I come back into the room and you’re up here dancing with Gavin’s brother-in-law. I’m not gonna let you out of my sight the rest of the night.”

  I started to explain what had happened, but then I just let it drop. I was slow-dancing with Tanner, and I wanted to enjoy every minute of it.

  It ended all too quick. Immediately following the song, the DJ announced that dinner was being served. The food was delicious, but I didn’t feel much like eating. I was hoping Tanner would ask me to dance again later – slow dance, that is.

  We ended up dancing to every slow song they played, and it was absolute heaven. Against my better judgment, I ended up having a fourth glass of wine, but I rationalized it by saying that I needed to because of all the dancing I was doing. It made sense at the time.

  When the bride and groom cut the cake, I knew that it was almost over. I didn’t want this night to end. Before long the DJ announced that they were playing the final song of the night and asked that everyone join the bride and groom on the dance floor. Tanner stood up and put his hand out to me so we could have one last dance together before the night was over.

  I couldn’t believe how fast it had gone. It seemed like we had just gotten there, and now we were back in the car, driving home. Even the ride was great, though, because I got to lean close to Tanner the whole way. Tanner’s mom was chattering on about what went on at the wedding, who wasn’t talking to whom, and all the usual family gossip. I was barely paying attention, though, because all I could think about was the heat of Tanner’s body next to me.

  As we got closer to
the house, I started to wonder what would happen after we got there. Would he sneak into the guest room later? Would tonight be the night? I smiled to myself. That fourth glass of wine was definitely putting ideas into my head, and the more I thought about them, the more appealing those ideas became. As soon as we walked into the house Tanner’s parents announced that they were exhausted and were going to bed. They left us alone in the kitchen.

  “So…should we turn in, too?” Tanner asked, smiling as he pulled me close.

  “Sure,” I answered slowly as he loosened his grip, then took my hand and led me upstairs. He offered me the bathroom first, so I went into the guest room and gathered everything I needed. As I brushed my teeth and scrubbed the makeup off my face, dozens of scenarios went through my head as to what would happen when I came out, but when I did finally emerge, the hallway was dark and the door to Tanner’s room was closed.

  I moved closer to his door so that I was standing right beside it. I could hear the TV playing from inside so I assumed he was awake, but why would he shut the door? Then it dawned on me that perhaps he was being respectful of his parents. Yeah, that was probably it, I told myself as I quietly returned to the guest room and climbed into bed. I should have been exhausted, but I just lay there replaying every detail in my mind. It had been a great night. I would almost go so far as to say that it might very well have been the best night of my life.

  Chapter 30

  Tanner