Off Limits

by Vos, Alexandra

  “Are you both okay?” Phoebe was nervous as she observed our broken faces.

  I was finding it easier to pull myself together than Luke, so I nodded and managed a smile. “It was nothing, just an empty threat. I’m sure there’s nothing to worry about.”

  “Why did he threaten you?” Phoebe turned all her attention to me, glad for some semblance of normality in my actions. Luke was practically a zombie and Phoebe was too intimidated by him to know what to do.

  “Because I hit him.” There was no point in explaining that Luke’s dad thought I was his girlfriend and not her. She’d probably take it the wrong way.

  “Oh, I see.”

  Luke blinked, taking in our conversation from a few moments ago. “Sorry, I should have cleaned your face. I didn’t think, I was too angry.”

  “It’s fine,” I assured him.

  Phoebe held out two key cards. “We’ve checked in and everything. Here are the keys to yours and Luke’s rooms. I’m going to go and find my parents and tell them what’s going on, if that’s okay?”

  “It’s fine,” I assured her, glad to be rid of her presence so we could calm down by ourselves.

  Luke grabbed our suitcases from the book and started walking towards the hotel. “I can get it,” I took my case from his injured hand and we got into the lift together. Luke was in a trance and I was beginning to seriously worry about him. I was just as useless as Phoebe when it came down to it.

  When I entered my room, Luke followed and deposited his case. “I’ll move into my own room later. I want to clean your face first.”

  I nodded, entering my bathroom and picking up the novelty sized shampoos and conditioners. “I always loved staying in hotels. We did it so rarely that it was always a massive treat. I don’t like it here, though, it’s too posh. I always liked the family run B&Bs where the owners make a fuss over the fact you’re there.” I hoped that just talking to Luke would make him feel better.

  “I was the same- am, the same,” He turned on the tap and fetched some toilet paper to wipe the blood away from my face. “Are you okay?” He suddenly asked, not pausing in the dabbing of toilet roll on my face. “I don’t think I ever asked I was feeling too down on myself. You’re the one he threatened, after all.”

  “I’m fine,” I assured him. I had to be fine because Luke was so clearly not okay. “Are you going to be okay?”

  He shrugged, checking every angle to make sure he hadn’t missed anything. “I will be, eventually. I just, I don’t know. Nothing’s ever going to be the same again and I was liking where it was going before all this baby stuff.”

  I didn’t know what else to do but to embrace him in a hug. My knees dug into his legs, but opening them so he could stand between didn’t seem like a good idea. I rested my clean cheek against his chest and hoped this did something to help.

  “I’m scared, Carmen.”

  I hugged him tighter, tears glistening in my eyes. Luke didn’t deserve any of this. It turned out he was one of the best people I’d ever met, despite all the drama we’d been through before German tutelage. “It’ll be okay,” I whispered, not sure if it had even been loud enough to hear.

  After a few minutes the door cracked open and Phoebe stuck her head in, nervousness written all over her face. Luke stepped back instantly and we both wiped our eyes. “I didn’t think I’d ever see the day.”

  I managed a small smile, but Luke’s attempt was more of a grimace. “What time are we planning on eating?”

  “Not for a while, you have time for a shower if you want one.”

  I didn’t feel like doing much more than getting into bed and trying to forget today, but perhaps a shower would wake me up a bit. “Okay.”

  “I’m going to have a shower, too,” Luke told Phoebe. “I need to get my stuff into our room.”

  Phoebe nodded, glad to hear some normal words coming from his mouth. “Okay, cool!” His relief was painfully obvious. “I used the spare key to let myself in here, but I left it on your bedside table.”

  “Cool, thanks.”

  They exited the room and I was left to my own thoughts for the first time.

  Luke’s dad wanted to hurt me. I was in danger, no matter how much I tried to convince Luke it was an empty threat.

  I really didn’t want to become so paranoid that I never let the house again. Sighing and stripping off my clothes, I got into the achingly hot shower and hoped it helped. Expensive hotels at least meant really good showers and I welcomed the rough jets pounding on my back.

  Luke was right, it was all becoming a bit too much and I was scared too. Scared for myself, both physically and mentally.

  Shrugging on some jeans and a hoody, I went through to knock on Phoebe’s room which was the one beside mine. Luke answered and let me in, going and collapsing on his bed. “Phoebe’s gone to talk to her family.”

  I rolled my eyes. As if she thought it was okay to just leave Luke when he was in such a state. “Well, I’m here. You can come and sit in my room if you want, I don’t mind.”

  Phoebe re-entered before he could answer. “We’re just walking down to the front to get fish and chips tonight, if that’s all right?”

  I nodded and Phoebe took in my wet hair and make-up-less face. “I might take a bit of getting ready, though. You guys can set off and I’ll catch up if you want.”

  “No, that’s okay,” Phoebe still hovered around the open doorway. “I’ll just go let them know we’ll be setting off in a bit.”

  I waited a few minutes to check whether she was coming back before gesturing to Luke. “Come on, you can come dry my hair. It’s therapeutic, I promise.”

  Luke hesitated briefly before nodding and plodding after me. Sitting on my bed with cross legs, I took a seat before him and handed him the hair dryer. “Thanks,” I knew he wasn’t just referring to me passing him the dryer.

  “It’s no problem.”

  Luke drying my hair was therapeutic, at least for me. His fingers weaved through my hair gently as the hot air buffeted it and I sat with a lazy smile on my face. After it was dry, I just wanted to lean back against Luke. He could have wrapped his arms around me and we’d just sit in silence, until that became uncomfortable. Then we’d lay down and drift into sleep with entangled limbs.

  Instead, we he finished and I sat with hunched shoulders and lamented having to get up and plug my straighteners.

  “Don’t bother with the straighteners,” Luke read my mind. “I like it wavy.”

  I tilted my head backwards, hair falling into his lap and gaze meeting his. “Are you sure you aren’t making me look like a fool so you can look at me and have something to laugh about all dinner.”

  Luke chuckled, his hand going back to my hair and running his fingers through it. “No. You just look pretty, I promise.”

  I flushed against grinned, getting up and retrieving my make-up bag. “Thank you. But, whatever you say, I definitely require some mascara.”

  My make-up didn’t take long and Luke watched me from the bed with a calmer expression. “Okay, I’m sorted. Let’s get going.”

  Luke made a discontented noise and dragged himself from my bed. “I wish we didn’t have to.”

  “I know. I was hoping they’d accept my offer to get going and we could have just done our own thing, but I guess no one will want to talk to us anyway. We’re just the weird outcasts at this point.”

  “Thank God,” Luke grumbled, pulling on the coat he’d brought through with him and waiting for me to do the same.

  “I kind of love the cold weather,” I admitted as he exited my room and knocked on Phoebe’s. “Being all wrapped up and cosy and stuff. I always loved being inside when I knew it was freezing outside.”

  Luke chuckled. “Sharing a single bed definitely helps with the feeling cosy part.” Our minds were sent back to our first night together and a sad smile graced my face.

  “Yeah, for sure.”

  Phoebe emerged with an expectant smile, judging our appearances and th
en letting it widen. “Let’s go!”

  Luke and I walked in practical silence down to the sea front. Phoebe’s family walked four abreast and talked animatedly about things I didn’t care about, whilst I took in the rustic, old town and wondered why people would ever choose to live at the seaside. There must have been sand everywhere all the time. It would get on my nerves far too much.

  “This place looks good,” Phoebe’s dad gestured to the first fish and chip place we came across.

  “I hope it’s better than the place we’re working at,” Luke grumbled. Our chippy didn’t have the best food, but we got it for free so that was good enough for the both of us.

  “What are you having?” I checked with Luke, pulling out my purse and standing in queue.

  “I’m not really hungry,” he dismissed, seeing Phoebe beckon him towards the benches we’d be sitting on to eat. “Just get yourself something. I might pick a few.”

  It seemed like a waste to have a sausage when we were beside the sea, but I’d never been a big fish eater. I piled on the curry sauce, knowing that Luke was just as much of a fan as me.

  Phoebe, Luke and I crammed onto a bench which overlooked the sand. The tide was coming in, slowly but surely, but it was a long way out right now. I could barely see the black waves tickling the shore. I placed the chips on my lap and gestured to Luke to take as many as he wanted. I had the feeling his appetite would come back quite quickly when he ate the first one.

  I was right. After the first chip, Luke scoffed them down with no remorse, giving me a guilty smile when they were all gone. “I’ll get the next lot and I’ll let you eat some of these, I promise.”

  I chuckled and handed him the empty polystyrene tray to throw away whilst he was going. Phoebe turned to me the second he was out of earshot. “I don’t know what to do, I’ve never seen him like this before.”

  “Just try and keep him talking, even if it’s about random stuff. Distraction is nice.”

  Phoebe tapped her hand against her leg. “I’m just so scared I’m going to make it worse. He gets really angry about these things.”

  “He’d never take his anger out on you, though.” Besides, he was less angry and more despairing right now.

  “Why do you know what to do and I don’t?” Phoebe lamented, burying her face in her hands.

  I was almost at a loss as to what to respond to that. Because we love each other? “I was just there when it happened, I guess.”

  “But he tells you things that he doesn’t tell me. He still never explained the whole situation with his dad. He’s so distant. It just seems like he doesn’t want to be with me at all.”

  I glanced around to make sure Phoebe’s family’s bench was far enough away that they couldn’t overhear. “The baby thing is hard on him.”

  “When did he tell you about it?”

  “He came straight to mine after being at yours,” I admitted. Maybe telling the truth would make her see that this wasn’t all rainbows. Just because she wanted it didn’t mean Luke was over the moon too.

  “What did he say? What was he like?”

  “He was crying.” Luke wouldn’t thank me for this and maybe I was just being a bitch, but Phoebe needed to understand. She needed some things putting in perspective if hers and Luke’s relationship was ever going to work. She needed to know what he was really like and what he really thought.

  Phoebe looked crestfallen. “I knew he was upset, but I didn’t think he was that upset. I just, he seemed like he’d come around to the idea by the time he was leaving mine.”

  “Phoebe he had a whole life planned out. Going to university, getting a job.” He had crippling debts, a baby wasn’t going to help that in the slightest. “This is like a bomb has been dropped. He’ll come around and he’ll love the baby, but it’s going to take more than a few weeks to accept that this is the future.”

  I wasn’t quite sure why Phoebe wasn’t a bit more devastated that her own uni plans had been dashed. She’d been looking at uni since way before we had to start applying. She had a dancing career if she wanted it. She had everything and it was going down the drain for this baby.

  Maybe I just wasn’t maternal enough.

  Phoebe sighed. “He can still go to university. I said I didn’t mind staying at home and stuff while he did that. He’d selected Sheffield as his first choice anyway.”

  “I know. Just give him time. Try talking to him about it when we get back from the trip.”

  Phoebe nodded and rested her head on my shoulder. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

  She’d be fine, I told myself. Her and Luke would work out their differences and she wouldn’t need me anymore.

  Thankfully, Luke returned soon afterwards. Phoebe launched into conversation with him, taking my advice to heart, and there was a smile on his face soon afterwards. I tried not to feel sad and accept that I’d done a good thing.

  Luke being happy was my only priority.

  Chapter Sixteen

  My night didn’t involve a lot of sleep. It was two in the morning and I couldn’t get my eyes to stay shut. Lying flat and staring up at the ceiling, I decided a walk was what I needed. Some fresh sea air and exhaustion would hopefully make me more tired. Maybe it would wash away my endless miserable thoughts.

  Pulling on all my warm layers of clothing, I grabbed my door key and exited the room.

  I practically ran into Luke, who was stood outside my door with his fist raised. He must have heard me rustling about trying to find clothes. He was wrapped up in comfy clothing to and I smiled at him, shutting my door and starting the walk towards the elevator.

  “Couldn’t sleep?” I checked.

  “Nope, been awake for hours. Phoebe made me push the beds together, so I’ve been sweltering in there as well. I just want some cold air.”

  I nodded and pushed the button for the ground floor. Scarborough wasn’t busy anyway at this time of year, but at two in the morning it was deserted. Bleak and empty and I loved it.

  A grin spread across my face we started our way down towards the beach. The tide had come all the way in now, too. Street lights lit up the promenade and Luke and I walked along in a comfortable silence. I could hear the black waves now they were closer and I revelled in the sound of it. I hadn’t been to the seaside since my parents were actually getting on.

  I spotted a large rock in the distance that jutted out into the sea and tugged on Luke’s coat. “Let’s go climb it.”

  He looked a bit unsure, but indulged me anyway. “We’re not doing it if it looks dangerous when we get there,” he warned. We were walking close enough together that our arms brushed against each other every now and then. I resisted the urge to vacate the warmth of my pocket to hold his hand.

  The rock was further than I thought, but our small talk made it go quickly. There was no need to delve into the deep problems right now; chatting about our pasts and our families and things we just enjoyed doing was enjoyable enough.

  The rock was also bigger than I thought. But, it had the perfect footholds to get on top. They were probably man made. I gestured to Luke and he sighed, letting me go first so that he could catch me if I fell. We were close enough to the promenade that the streetlights gave us enough vision.

  On top of the rock, I grinned. My heart raced a bit as I walked to the end and stuck my head out over the top. The waves were a threatening black, mysterious and dark and startlingly beautiful. I’d never been to the beach in the middle the night before, but it was definitely gorgeous.

  Luke took his stance behind me and wrapped secure arms around my waist. “There’s no way I’m letting you fall in the sea,” he muttered, sticking his head out a bit too.

  “I don’t know how people stay at sea for days and days. I think I’d hate a cruise.”

  Luke shrugged. “I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to afford a cruise anyway, so it’s a good job I’m not bothered.”

  Chuckling, I almost lost my footing. Luke shook his head and dragged
me backwards. “Let’s go and sit down. I really don’t want to have the coastguard out here.”

  We picked a seat on the sand, our backs against the concrete of the raised promenade. Luke opened his legs so I could sit between them and we fitted perfectly together, Luke tight arms encasing me so that it was impossible to feel unsafe.

  “I’m going to break-up with Phoebe,” Luke told me, his chin digging into my head when he spoke.

  I tried to twist and look at his face, but Luke kept me where I was. “Why?”

  “Because I’ll be miserable for the rest of my life if I stay.”

  I kept quiet, wanting to jump for joy, but knowing it wasn’t the right reaction to have.