Running Against Traffic
Page 15
From: LucienWalls@gmail.com
To: pscottdav@gmail.com
How refreshingly human of you. Keep me posted. Great to run into you.
October, 2006
From: JmanP35@yahoo.com
To: pscottdav@gmail.com
I never want to leave you when our evenings end, but we send ourselves home like misbehaved children and then there’s no more tequila and mystifying conversation for who knows how long…You’re so gloriously damaged. I can’t get enough. And then this morning, as I got out of the shower…you were not there. As a result, I was forced to go to work with my hopes shattered. You hopeshatterer.
From: pscottdav@gmail.com
To: JmanP35@yahoo.com
I’m in touch with that shattered hopes feeling, believe me.
From: JmanP35@yahoo.com
To: pscottdav@gmail.com
Do you mean us?
From: pscottdav@gmail.com
To: JmanP35@yahoo.com
No, not everything is about you.
From: JmanP35@yahoo.com
To: pscottdav@gmail.com
I was teasing you, darling. You play your cards close to your chest, but you’ve told me enough about your life that I understand. I feel honored that you have shared as much as you have – even if it was the alcohol that coaxed it out of you.
From: pscottdav@gmail.com
To: JmanP35@yahoo.com
So, you were thinking about me in the shower?
From: JmanP35@yahoo.com
To: pscottdav@gmail.com
Of course.
From: pscottdav@gmail.com
To: JmanP35@yahoo.com
Can we get together next Saturday? David will be out of town for the weekend on business.
From: JmanP35@yahoo.com
To: pscottdav@gmail.com
Can’t, next Saturday is Anna’s first Halloween. I’ll be dressing up as Peter Pan and parading about with TinkerBell.
From: pscottdav@gmail.com
To: JmanP35@yahoo.com
What’s Cara dressing up as? Mother Theresa? Oh, but she wouldn’t need to dress up.
From: JmanP35@yahoo.com
To: pscottdav@gmail.com
Cara is not perfect, Paige.
Don’t you have some glitzy adult party to attend, hosted by that woman who you hate?
From: pscottdav@gmail.com
To: JmanP35@yahoo.com
We were invited, but Simone made it clear that since David couldn’t make it, she would “see us next time.”
From: JmanP35@yahoo.com
To: pscottdav@gmail.com
You should go anyway. I hate to think of you on your own.
From: pscottdav@gmail.com
To: JmanP35@yahoo.com
What do you mean by that? You know I hate Simone’s parties. I’ll be quite fine “on my own”, thank you.
From: JmanP35@yahoo.com
To: pscottdav@gmail.com
Don’t be like that. That’s not you.
From: pscottdav@gmail.com
To: JmanP35@yahoo.com
How would you know?
From: JmanP35@yahoo.com
To: pscottdav@gmail.com
Okay, okay…Have a nice weekend, whatever you decide to do.
From: pscottdav@gmail.com
To: JmanP35@yahoo.com
Thanks. I will. Already made plans.
From: pscottdav@gmail.com
To: LucienWalls@gmail.com
Luce, do you have plans for next Saturday? Let’s get together and catch up.
From: LucienWalls@gmail.com
To: pscottdav@gmail.com
I can’t. I have a dinner party at my friend Polly’s house. Want to come with?
From: pscottdav@gmail.com
To: LucienWalls@gmail.com
No thanks. See you around.
December, 2006
From: JmanP35@yahoo.com
To: pscottdav@gmail.com
Sparkling snow, holiday season, Santas on the corners ringing bells…Missing you, where did you go? I hate the way we left things…Let’s go for a walk around your old neighborhood and stop at Rembrandt’s. I always think of that as our place. We can split a bottle of red and catch up.
From: pscottdav@gmail.com
To: JmanP35@yahoo.com
I’ve been here. Where have you been?
From: JmanP35@yahoo.com
To: pscottdav@gmail.com
I’ve been too tired and dull to hang out with, Paige. Working, then running around after Anna, trying to keep her from destroying the apartment, and now Cara’s pregnant again.
From: pscottdav@gmail.com
To: JmanP35@yahoo.com
Congratulations. Very happy for you all. Good luck with all that.
From: JmanP35@yahoo.com
To: pscottdav@gmail.com
That sounds like a kiss goodbye! Don’t abandon me when I’m drowning. Take me out and cheer me up. Wear something sexy. How are things with you and David?
From: pscottdav@gmail.com
To: JmanP35@yahoo.com
The same as ever.
From: JmanP35@yahoo.com
To: pscottdav@gmail.com
Then you need cheering up, too. How about we meet any evening next week that suits you. Cara’s taking her raging hormones and the baby to her mother’s house all week. We can meet more than one night. We can meet every night.
From: pscottdav@gmail.com
To: JmanP35@yahoo.com
As apathetic as David is about my whereabouts, he would certainly wonder if I went out every night next week. We could go out before he comes home. He usually works until 8:00 or 9:00, these days.
From: JmanP35@yahoo.com
To: pscottdav@gmail.com
I am not sure I can wait until next week. Friday night my firm is hosting an event. Cocktails, hors d’oeuvres, business cards, palm pressing, more cocktails to make it all tolerable. I’ll put your names on the guest list. You have to bring David because Cara will be there.
From: pscottdav@gmail.com
To: JmanP35@yahoo.com
Sounds awfully scandalous.
From: JmanP35@yahoo.com
To: pscottdav@gmail.com
Well yes, that’s the fun of it. Come on, Paige, have I upset your delicate sensibilities?
From: pscottdav@gmail.com
To: JmanP35@yahoo.com
I don’t have delicate sensibilities, Jeremy. My shell is not fragile, so when I am dropped and cracked, it is a secret thrill.
From: JmanP35@yahoo.com
To: pscottdav@gmail.com
Ah…You duplicitous Pisces. I should have known that there would be a certain schizophrenic delight involved in this. This is good – I’m in a particularly scandalous mood. I was not intending to break your glorious shell, but I was planning to do something rough and delicious to it.
From: pscottdav@gmail.com
To: JmanP35@yahoo.com
The presence of our spouses will keep us in line.
From: JmanP35@yahoo.com
To: pscottdav@gmail.com
Speak for yourself.
January, 2007
From: JmanP35@yahoo.com
To: pscottdav@gmail.com
Happy New Year! The holidays are over, and I’m free to leave my house again. I’m sure you were as busy as I was, though. Haven’t seen you since that glorious week after my office party…You spoiled me, meeting me nearly every night for a glass of wine and an hour of wonder, before we had to return to reality. You are my favorite escape, a beautiful, magical dreamland.
From: pscottdav@gmail.com
To: JmanP35@yahoo.com
Yeah, yeah, escape, dreamland…What happened to you after that week? I haven’t heard from you at all.
Cara is very pretty, by the way. In an itsy bitsy pixie kind of way. She calls you J-man. I finally know where your email address came from. It’s stupid, by the way.
From: JmanP35@yahoo.com
To: pscottdav@gmail.com
To be honest, the itsy bits
y pixie has been keeping me close to home, and I haven’t wanted to risk emailing or especially calling. After she met you and David at the office party, she started asking a bunch of questions, about how I knew you, and what did you mean when you mentioned a conversation we had had about something…I had much too much wine at the party, but I think I told her that I actually knew you through David, that David was a potential client and I had taken you both out once…Anyway, she doesn’t know that we have ever spent time on our own, together.
From: pscottdav@gmail.com
To: JmanP35@yahoo.com
Yes, Jeremy, I know. You babbled that to me every time we met, after that night.
From: JmanP35@yahoo.com
To: pscottdav@gmail.com
I know, I’m sorry. I just think that we have to think about being careful. That’s all. Now, back to when we are getting together next…?
From: pscottdav@gmail.com
To: JmanP35@yahoo.com
I’m not sure.
From: JmanP35@yahoo.com
To: pscottdav@gmail.com
Paige, I’m trying to lure you back into scandal and you are shooting me down. Come on, it’s not like you’re busy. You have nothing to do, therefore no excuse. Don’t tell me you’re trying to be good and responsible, please…That kind of attitude will cause you to develop gout or some other horrid old person malady. Ride the wave where it takes you. Come out and play with me!
From: pscottdav@gmail.com
To: JmanP35@yahoo.com
In the same conversation you go from telling me we need to be careful to trying to convince me to ride your wave. You can’t have it both ways.
From: JmanP35@yahoo.com
To: pscottdav@gmail.com
Yes I can. I can have it any way I want. If you’re not careful, I will sink my teeth into you and thrash you about until you are powerless. I will put the come on, come on back into your walk. I will be drama. I will have stories to tell!
From: pscottdav@gmail.com
To: JmanP35@yahoo.com
Are you on coke?
From: JmanP35@yahoo.com
To: pscottdav@gmail.com
I’m on Paige.
March 2007
From: pscottdav@gmail.com
To: JmanP35@yahoo.com
We’re back. David spent the whole time on fishing and snorkeling expeditions. As I get wildly sea sick, am afraid to go in the deep of the ocean, hate fishing, and don’t really want to be trapped on a boat with David and his rollicking crew all day, I wandered the streets of Key West on my own. I have quite a nice tan. I tried to call you, did you get my message? I was bored and alone in one of those outdoor tiki bars surrounded by scantily clad Spring Breakers. It was depressing.
From: JmanP35@yahoo.com
To: pscottdav@gmail.com
Not sure if I got your message, but I’m glad to hear you’re safely back. Did you two celebrate your birthday, at least?
From: pscottdav@gmail.com
To: JmanP35@yahoo.com
You didn’t get my message, or you deleted it so Cara wouldn’t stumble upon it somehow?
No, David kind of forgot about my birthday, even though when he booked the trip he said it was for that very occasion.
From: JmanP35@yahoo.com
To: pscottdav@gmail.com
That’s disgraceful. Well. We’re going to have to fix you up with a proper birthday celebration! What shall we do? What would you like? And, more importantly, when can you get out?
From: pscottdav@gmail.com
To: JmanP35@yahoo.com
I don’t know what I would like, I don’t know what we should do. I have no ideas, no inspiration. I think I need to eat something, something hearty, like a sandwich. I feel hollow. I have lost so much weight, lately. Drifting about on vacation by oneself will do that to you, I suppose.
From: JmanP35@yahoo.com
To: pscottdav@gmail.com
Loneliness will do that to you. I would like to punch David, sometimes.
And, like a true Pisces, you have successfully deployed your cloaking device and hidden your birthday desires behind a veil of secrecy. I think that whoever started the rumor that saying your birthday wishes aloud makes them not come true was some sort of sadist who wanted people to languish in a pool of their own unfulfilled dreams. I mean, if I was hungry, had no food and you had plenty…Would I be more likely to fulfill my needs by expressing that I was hungry or by staying silent and hoping that you would feed me?
From: pscottdav@gmail.com
To: JmanP35@yahoo.com
If you were hungry and had no food, I would know without you having to say a word, and I would share my food.
From: JmanP35@yahoo.com
To: pscottdav@gmail.com
Paige, I’m not talking about food. Tell me what you want for your birthday. Make a wish. It will come true.
From: pscottdav@gmail.com
To: JmanP35@yahoo.com
Don’t do this to me.
From: JmanP35@yahoo.com
To: pscottdav@gmail.com
There is so much I am going to do to you. The question is only when. Email me when you figure out when you can get away.
Enjoy your enigma sandwich.
April 2007
From: pscottdav@gmail.com
To: JmanP35@yahoo.com
I can’t believe I haven’t seen you since my birthday. What have you been up to? Don’t you have time to shoot me an email, at least?
From: JParchPhilly@aol.com
To: pscottdav@gmail.com
I have been having technical challenges with my email. Use this address from now on, the other one is not working. I have tried getting in touch with you, and when I didn’t hear back I figured it out.
From: pscottdav@gmail.com
To: JParchPhilly@aol.com
You could have called. I always have my phone on me, so it’s not like David would find out.
From: JParchPhilly@aol.com
To: pscottdav@gmail.com
How have you been?
From: pscottdav@gmail.com
To: JParchPhilly@aol.com
Just fine, thanks for asking. David has been looking for summer homes. He didn’t ask me to get involved in the hunt, thank God. I’m looking into grad school. Seems useless, but it would be something to do. Perhaps you can help me figure this all out over dinner. There’s a new restaurant opening in Fairmount that I want to try. When can you get out?
From: JParchPhilly@aol.com
To: pscottdav@gmail.com
I'm not sure. Cara has grown so huge she needs my help with every little thing. And Anna continues to be a handful. Work is on an upswing, however. Unfortunately that also means less free time…But as I type these words to you my mind wanders to our birthday celebration last month, and suddenly I am knocked down by desire to see you right away.
From: pscottdav@gmail.com
To: JParchPhilly@aol.com
I know…I hate to confess it, but it was the best birthday I’ve ever had in my life. I have never felt so free. I was so...happy. You made me very, very happy.
From: JParchPhilly@aol.com
To: pscottdav@gmail.com
I’m glad. But what wistful poetry from you, today. Remember the happy moments of your life with a devilish smile on your face, not with a quivering sigh.
Let me see what I can arrange. Cara visits her mother frequently. Next time she goes, I am yours. Entirely.
Yours ever, truly, urgently, devotedly, lustfully,
Me.
August, 2007
From: pscottdav@gmail.com
To: JParchPhilly@aol.com
So, I guess with the arrival of your bouncing baby boy, you really won’t be able to come out any time soon. Please keep emailing me, though. I know you can’t call, but I feel better when you are at least writing. Write pages upon pages of your best pontificating crap, would you? I miss that. Or, would you prefer I fade away like receding sunlight through the trees, until all you see is the deep woods,
and I am nowhere to be found? Because that is what a true Pisces would do, if she feels as if she is being dismissed.
From: JParchPhilly@aol.com
To: pscottdav@gmail.com
Never. Never recede. You would not be receding sunlight, anyway. You would be moonlight fading as the sky lightens to morning. Always moonlight.
I miss you. What can we do about this? All of this. More breeds more. I would love to hear your thoughts on what we are, where we are, how to taste more goodness from the tree of life…How we do that together. I’m sure you will accuse me of romantic slavery and Aquarian silliness and you will enjoy watching me licking the frosting off of your calculated replies that reveal, in the end, nothing.