Running Against Traffic
Page 26
They settled on their usual bench, viewing their usual view of the trees and the lake water rippling in the wind. The afternoon felt particularly chilly, and Paige shoved her hands into her pockets. She opened her mouth to suggest they go grab a late lunch, though she wasn’t hungry, but Al cut her off.
“I don’t want you to leave,” he said. He gazed straight ahead at the woods.
Paige felt as if she was sinking into the bench. “And I want you to come with me,” she said in a small voice.
“Why?” He asked, still looking ahead.
Paige nudged him. “Some questions don’t have answers.” There was no sound but the wind rushing through the leaves on the trees in short gusts, sending batches swirling down. Paige felt a small batch of courage swirling inside of her belly. She shifted so that she was facing Al and tugged one of his hands out of his pocket to hold in hers. She ran her fingers over the top of his hand, over warm skin. His extraordinary eyes rose to meet hers. His full lips curled into a half-smile, cutting one dimple.
“Have you really never loved me, not a little bit, ‘that way’?” Paige asked.
Al’s eyes softened to melting. He pushed the hood of his sweatshirt off of his head and squeezed her hands in his. “Yeah, I have.” He smiled. “A little bit.”
“Then why have you always pushed me away?”
“You need to stand on your own, stop using men to prop you up.”
“I wasn’t trying to use you,” Paige insisted. “Well, not after a while.”
“I know.” His gaze ran the length of her body and back up to her face. “But aren’t we all using each other for something?”
Paige sighed, petulantly. “Deirdre suggested that you might be trying to hang on to who you are, where you come from. And maybe I don’t fit into that picture.”
Al nodded. “Maybe.”
“Do you think that’s why Darnell hid his relationship with Deirdre from you for so long?”
Al looked at her sidelong, his lips pressed together. After a beat, he said “I guess I never thought of that. Probably. It’s too bad that I made him feel like that, because I don’t have issues with him and Deirdre. Not now, anyway.”
“You just have issues with you. Being with me.”
“Paige, let’s just let it all be what it is.”
She was suddenly terribly sad. “Then why did you ask me why I wanted you to come with me?”
“Because I want to know if you want me to come with you because of me, or because you’re scared.”
“Oh.”
“Well? Which is it?” He turned his body toward her.
She forced a smile. “Both. Neither. Who knows.”
“Got it.” But he held her gaze.
Paige drew in a deep breath, calling on her strength. “I can’t stay here. I don’t belong here.”
“And I don’t belong there. Besides,” he grabbed her hand and settled back into the bench, facing the trees again. “You need to get out on your own.”
Paige snuggled up to his side and smiled up at him. Al glanced down at her and made a snorting noise, but he didn’t pull away. “Again, you’re leaning on me.”
Paige stood. “I don’t want any more regrets in my life.”
Al squinted up at her. “So don’t regret.”
“Let’s go get a farewell drink at Darnell’s.”
Al stood and moved to face her, standing close. “It’s the middle of the day,” he said, quietly. His eyes moved over her face.
“Has that ever stopped us before?” Paige asked, her breath catching on her heart surging in her chest.
He shook his head slightly. Then he leaned down and kissed her, his arms reaching under hers, pulling her up and into his body. When their lips finally parted, he continued to hold her up against him, her toes grazing the ground, her hair falling over his shoulders and tangled in his arms. His lips met her neck, her cheek, her lips again. “I do love you,” he breathed in her ear. “I do. Come back when you’re ready.” His lips found hers again.
They broke apart and Al took her by the arm and quickly led her back to the house.
Paige closed the door to the Civic and leaned back against it. The weather had shifted overnight, as she and Al had slept soundly in a pile of bare, interwoven limbs, where they had fallen together into her bed. Now the October sun had risen high and shone warm on the top of her head. The sugar maple in the front yard was a blaze of crimson, and it sent leaves fluttering down to fleck the lawn like paint.
Paige breathed in the rich, earthy scent of autumn. She and the house before her regarded each other. Once broken down and sagging on its foundation, the old place was now refurbished, propped up, and bolstered by the love and life of its inhabitants. Paige was glad she was not leaving it to strangers, and that it would not sit empty, with no one to care for.
Al popped out of the front door. “You didn’t forget anything,” he said, jogging down the steps and over to her. “I checked everywhere. Not like you had a lot of stuff. You okay?”
Paige was unsure. She was scared. She was hopeful. She was on her own, but would never be alone again. She was thankful but craving. She was certain she would make a mess of everything, and she was ready to try that on for size. She was everything she had never been.
“I’m fine,” she said. “I’m a hot mess, but I’ll be fine.”
“That’s the spirit,” Al said, and pulled her into his arms for a hug, rocking back and forth slightly.
“Oh would you two just do it, already?” Bryce called, walking up the driveway.
“Too late,” Al said, winking slyly at Paige. “She’s leaving.” He kissed the top of Paige’s head and lightly shoved her away from his body.
Deirdre and Darnell barreled up in the truck and climbed out. “Hey, darlin’,” Deirdre said, “I packed you some supplies for the trip.” She handed Paige a small cardboard box that held a water canteen that read “Wells Lake Running Club”, homemade snacks, and a GPS.
Paige laughed. “So I don’t get lost?” she asked.
Her friend hugged her. “So that you can find your way back.”
Darnell nodded. “You’ll be coming back for the wedding, I guess.” He rubbed his belly. “I plan to be several more pounds down, by then.”
“Excellent,” Paige said. “Keep up with the running and you won’t have a problem.”
Paige turned to Bryce and tugged the curls around his cheeks, cheeks that were full again, pink with health, and possibly a little blush. “You need a haircut,” she said.
Bryce rolled his eyes. “Who is going to harass me day and night now that my mommy is leaving?” he groaned.
“We will,” Al said. “You can be sure of that.”
Paige looked at the four of them, standing in a row. Her eyes rested a moment longer on Al, and then she pulled her gaze away and looked once more up at the wide blue sky. The colors of love shine through in open spaces, and she was feeling the rainbow.
She turned to open her car door.
“Damn, girl,” Al said. “Your ass is looking mighty fine in those jeans.”
Darnell put his hand on his brother’s shoulder. “I guess you finally got your hands on that ass?” he asked, grinning. Al, ever noncommittal, murmured that he should worry about his own business and admitted nothing.
Paige laughed. “I’m going to miss you too.” She swung her fine ass into the car and closed the door. She powered on the GPS and pulled out of the bumpy driveway and down the road in a cloud of dust, not looking back, but knowing that four people were watching her leave, wishing she wasn’t. It was a new day. It was a new life.
Table of Contents
I. To the Lake
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
/> Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
II. The Useless Flirtation
November, 2004
February, 2005
June, 2005
April, 2006
October, 2006
December, 2006
January, 2007
March 2007
August, 2007
March 2008
III. The Witch’s Hourglass
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29