Tales of a New York Waitress

by Samantha Garman

  2. Meh.

  I wasted no time sending an email, Facebook message, wall post, etc. to Annie, demanding that she come over as soon as possible. She arrived forty-five minutes later, holding a bag of wine, as if she already knew all the drama that had gone down. Then again she was dating Aidan’s best friend.

  “Hi, my name is Sibby. I’m clumsy and I make really bad decisions,” I said to Annie, holding out my hand as though we had just met.

  Annie nodded. “Yeah, I know, I’m there for most of them.”

  I slapped my forehead. “I dropped my phone, it shattered, and then my life shattered. How’s that for poetry?”

  “Have you been drinking?”

  “No, as of now, I’m totally dry. Bad stuff happens when I drink.”

  “Tell me what happened after you left the bar.”

  So I did.

  She shook her head and smiled.

  “I know! This is a new level of crazy—even for me.”

  “And you haven’t been in communication with Aidan or the restaurant since all this went down?”

  I shook my head. “My phone is still broken. I don’t get a new one for a few days.”

  “And Aidan didn’t come over here demanding to talk to you?”

  I shook my head again. “Have you seen him?” I asked. Annie hesitated, and I verbally jumped all over her. “What, what is it?”

  “Aidan quit.”

  “What?” I yelled. “He did what?”

  “Caleb told me he quit,” she explained.

  “But, why?”

  “Because he doesn’t want you to quit Antonio’s, and he doesn’t want you to break up with him.”

  “Huh?”

  “This is the grand gesture,” she explained slowly. “I thought you read romance novels?”

  “I do.”

  “I thought you watched rom coms?”

  “Yeah, I do, okay? But it’s not like any of that is real life.”

  “You’ve got to do something.”

  “Like what?” I demanded.

  “Aidan is not Matt.”

  “I know that.”

  “Do you? Aidan quit his job instead of losing you.”

  “What an idiot,” I muttered softly, my insides going all gooey and girly.

  “You lurve him, don’t you?”

  “Pulling out the lurve card, huh?” I asked.

  Lurve was a word Annie and I had heard in college and decided to use when we were drunk and mushy over the college boyfriends we’d given our virginities to. Naively, we thought we’d be with them forever, so we’d coined the term ‘lurve of your life’, which was so much greater than regular love. The boys hadn’t stuck, but the phrase did.

  “Aidan’s done everything you wanted to do. And what have you given him besides cookies and sex?”

  “I gave him a drawer. And a key.”

  “Whoop-dee-fricken-do.”

  “I did just get out of a relationship.”

  “A dead relationship where you were nothing more than a cover for a closeted gay guy. Which is totally his issue, by the way, not yours.”

  “Tell that to my ego.”

  “We’re not talking about your ego, we’re talking about your heart.”

  “Whoa there—you sound like a rom com BFF.”

  “Well, it is my job to talk sense into you. Let’s say Matt wasn’t gay and you guys stayed together. Your relationship would’ve been like eating a dry turkey sandwich for every meal for the rest of your life. Forever.”

  “What does that even mean?” I demanded.

  “It means he had no flavor, and eventually, you would’ve become that way, too.”

  “I can’t do this now.”

  “Oh, we’re doing this,” she stated.

  “You’re drunk,” I accused.

  “Good of you to notice.”

  “When did that happen?”

  “There’s a flask in my purse. It’s empty.”

  “I needed you clear headed!”

  “And I needed to get drunk!”

  “Why?”

  “Because Caleb asked me to move in with him.”

  “What!” I yelled.

  “I know!” she yelled back.

  “This is unbelievable.”

  She nodded. “I said yes.”

  “Should we toast?”

  “What are we toasting?” Annie asked.

  “To hell freezing over. You found a guy you want to live with. I never thought that would happen.”

  “That makes two of us.”

  We talked for hours and then fell asleep in my bed. I woke up spooning her. I gently disengaged from my best friend, dashed off a quick note and left. I headed to Peter Pan bakery, grabbed a couple of breakfast sandwiches and donuts and tried not to think about my breakfast date with Aidan when I’d taken him to the bakery.

  Gah! Stupid boy!

  What was he thinking, quitting? I still didn’t know the damage I’d actually caused by my dramatic, drunken email to the entire staff, but I didn’t expect it to be at all good. Even though Aidan had quit, I doubted I still had a job. The least I could do was call Jess and face the wrath. My adult-o-meter sprang up, telling me it was the right thing to do.

  I got back to the apartment just as Annie was setting up the coffee maker. “Breakfast,” I said, holding up the bakery bag.

  “Good. I feel like crap on rye,” she admitted.

  “Do you think, maybe we should join a gym instead of drinking?”

  She looked at me for a full three seconds before we both said, “Nahhhh.”

  “So you and Caleb—moving in together,” I said, unwrapping my bacon, egg, and cheese on a poppy seed bagel.

  “Yeah, I know. I wonder what my parents will say.”

  “Your dad will ask if he’s a Red Sox fan.”

  Annie grinned. “Which he is, thank God.”

  “And your Mom will be overjoyed, considering she thought you were too emotionally stunted to ever settle down. You’re broken.”

  “Settle down? Whoa, whoa, whoa. Let’s not go that far.”

  “If you start telling me you guys are going to throw dinner parties and stuff, I’m divorcing you,” I stated.

  “That’s fair. And if I decide I ever want to throw a dinner party, please smack me.”

  “On my honor as your best friend.”

  We were halfway done with our egg sandwiches when she asked, “What are you going to do about work—and by work, I mean Aidan.”

  “I have no idea,” I said truthfully. The more I tried to think about it, the more confused I became. “As for work, I’m dreading opening my email. Jess has a habit of yelling in all caps. It’s scary.”

  “Tell you what,” Annie said, wiping her hands. “I’ll go through your emails for you. Screen them.”

  “Really? That would be kind of amazing.” I got up to get my laptop and brought it to her. She opened it and began scrolling. “Any word from Aidan?”

  She shook her head. “Do you want there to be?”

  “I don’t know. I’m too hungover to think straight.”

  “There’s a message from Jess.”

  “Is it bad? Is it mean? Should I cry?”

  “Calm yourself,” Annie said. “She wants to know if you’d come in a few minutes before your next shift.”

  “So she can fire me in person?”

  “You really think she’s going to fire you?”

  “Wouldn’t she?”

  “Doubt it, she probably just wants to make sure you’re not filing a sexual harassment case.”

  “And how would that sound? ‘Nice, hot guy, who wears plaid and takes care of me wants to date and maybe get a puppy’. I need to get out of here,” I said. “I can’t sit around in this apartment and think about the different piles of crap that have become my life.”

  “You need to get a new phone.”

  “I am getting a new phone. It will just take a few days. Besides, if there is any time to untether myself, it’s now. I’m u
nder the radar. I’m staying away from technology.”

  I was running late. Later than late. I’d gotten my new phone from the Verizon store, but hadn’t had a chance to set it up, and then had to book it to the train. There was no way I was going to be early for my shift—I’d be lucky if I was on time.

  Maybe it was better that way, so I didn’t have to have a sit down with Jess. I’d get onto the floor, slap a smile on my face, and figure everything else out later.

  I was ten minutes late for my closing shift and already the bar and hostess areas were flooded with customers. I squeezed through the throng and made my way downstairs. I changed in record time and was back upstairs looking for Jess. She was at the hostess stand and looked like she was already harassed and annoyed.

  She was probably missing Aidan’s helpful presence. I swallowed. “Jess,” I called.

  Jess turned around and breathed a sigh of relief. “Good, you’re here.”

  “Sorry I’m late. Train traffic.”

  She nodded absently. “Listen, you have a guest tonight who is proposing to his girlfriend. They requested the courtyard. His friend is going to film the entire thing. They’re coming in at 7:00 PM.”

  “Prime time, excellent.”

  “Specials are the same. We’ll talk later, okay?”

  I nodded.

  “Don’t worry, it’s going to be fine,” she whispered.

  I let out a breath I hadn’t known I was holding. I walked into the dining room, ready to face my co-workers and customers.

  “You’re alive!” Zeb greeted.

  “Barely.”

  “You went underground.”

  “Completely. Phone broke and I avoided social media.”

  “Is it all still a mess?”

  I nodded.

  There was no more time to talk considering we were about to be knee deep in the rush. An hour later, Mr. Proposal sat in my section. His friend was with him and they set the table with a huge vase of roses. The girl wasn’t going to be very surprised, unless she was an idiot.

  “Can we have a bottle of champagne chilling please? After I propose, will you just open it and bring it over?” he asked me. “My friend will give you the signal.”

  The friend shook my hand and then fiddled with his camera. Mr. Proposal pulled out his phone and said in nervous excitement, “She’s here!”

  A few minutes later, a beautiful, tall, thin woman—obviously one of New York’s prettiest people—sauntered into the courtyard, waving at her boyfriend who was about to become her fiancé. She kissed him on the lips and he held out her chair for her. The friend with the camera was on the other side of the courtyard, filming from the moment the couple sat down. I discreetly hung out in the opposite corner, waiting by the ice bucket for the signal to bring over the champagne.

  “Oh my God, yes!” I heard the girl shriek.

  The friend didn’t need to tell me anything since I’d heard the woman shout out her acceptance. I was reaching for the bottle of champagne when Aidan rushed into the courtyard, barreling towards me.

  “What are you doing here?” I demanded in surprise.

  I struggled with the champagne bottle’s foil wrapper.

  Caleb trailed behind Aidan and said, “I’m sorry, Sib, we were out drinking and he wanted to come here, and I couldn’t stop him.”

  “I miss you,” Aidan blurted out. He was standing so close to me that I could smell the liquor on his breath. Aidan was a tall guy, so for him to be glassy eyed and honest meant he’d had a good amount to drink.

  “Ma’am!” Mr. Proposal called. “May we have our champagne now?”

  “Coming!” I said. The foil was finally off and I was unwinding the cage, careful to keep my thumb over the cork.

  “Sibby,” Aidan bemoaned dramatically.

  “Aidan, I can’t do this right now,” I pleaded. “Caleb, take him to my apartment, okay?”

  “Keys?” Caleb asked.

  “Aidan has a set.”

  “Dude, you’ve been withholding information from me,” Caleb said. “Come on, buddy, you’ll talk to her later.”

  “No!” Aidan said. “Now! I want to talk right now. I love you!”

  “Ah, jeez, dude,” Caleb breathed, shaking his head.

  My secret boyfriend had just told me he loved me, and I wanted to tell him I loved him, but I was a bit busy. And the damn cork wouldn’t come out of the damn bottle!

  “Sibby?”

  “What!” I snapped, looking towards a man as he strolled toward me in the courtyard. “Matt? What the—”

  “Do you work here?” he asked.

  I hadn’t seen him since the night I broke my nose. Matt looked…

  Gayer.

  He was tanner, more muscular, and wearing a lavender shirt. There was a lot of product in his hair. Guess he’d really found himself in the months after we’d split up. Wish I could’ve said the same.

  “Yeah, I work here. Nice shirt, Matt.”

  “I’ve been trying—”

  “Ma’am, the champagne?” I heard in the background.

  I ignored Mr. Proposal and said to Matt, “I know you’ve been trying to get ahold of me.”

  “What the hell are you doing here?” Aidan demanded, looking at Matt.

  “You’re the guy from—” Matt tried to ask.

  “Yes. I’m the new boyfriend.”

  “Excuse me,” Mr. Proposal said. “We’re still waiting on our champagne. We are the ones celebrating our engagement here.”

  I gave him an apologetic look as I took a step closer to them. “Sir, I’m sorry, this cork is—”

  Pop!

  The cork burst out of the bottle. I watched it fly through the air in what seemed like slow motion, and cringed when it hit Matt in the eye. He covered his face and howled in agony while champagne spewed all over the newly engaged couple and me.

  The courtyard was suddenly silent. Even Aidan, drunk as he was, stared at me with his mouth hanging open. Matt’s cries had turned into a whimper. It was like everyone was waiting for me to say something.

  I sighed. “That puts the ‘pain’ in champagne, doesn’t it?”

  Chapter 22

  Tortelloni [tort-eh-loh-nee]:

  1. Half-moon shaped, stuffed pasta.

  2. Just call it a freakin’ ravioli, okay? Jeez.

  The engaged couple got their meal for free, Matt went to the ER in an ambulance, and after Caleb carted Aidan out of Antonio’s, I finally sat down with Jess in the office. I was back in my street clothes, my sticky, wet server uniform by my side in a plastic bag.

  Jess looked tired. I made her tired. My drama made her tired. “You outed Natalie.”

  I winced. I hadn’t talked to Nat and I needed to. But I’d been avoiding it.

  Shocker.

  “I told Aidan that you guys dating wasn’t a problem.”

  “Then why did he quit?” I wondered.

  She paused. “He has his reasons. I’m guessing you haven’t talked to him since all that went down.”

  I shook my head. “Have you?”

  “Aidan and I are friends outside this job. We used to work together years ago at a steak house. Our friendship comes first—and he didn’t even tell me about you guys. That stings. It also shows me how much he cares about you if he’s willing to keep secrets not just from me as his boss but also me as his friend.”

  I was quiet for a moment and said, “I quit. I’d rather quit than have you fire me. I do have some pride. Not a lot, not after tonight, but there it is.”

  “You don’t have to quit, and I’m not firing you. You still have your job.”

  “Thanks, but I think I need a fresh start, ya know?”

  “Are you sure? I know a lot has happened but—”

  “I’m sure. I really appreciate it, but I’m sure,” I said, standing.

  She hugged me and said, “Aidan is one of the good ones.”

  “And there’s the silver lining in all of this, huh?”

  Drained, I climbed
the stairs to my apartment. I wasn’t cut out for crazy, but lately my life had been a revolving door of it.

  Aidan opened my door, reached for me, and pulled me into a hug. I just let him hold me, and it was nice. I was being comforted.

  “You still drunk?” I demanded.

  “No, coming down.”

  “Hard?”

  “I’ll be okay.”

  “Should we wait to talk?”

  “No, I’m sober enough to talk.”

  “You didn’t have to quit,” I said. “I would’ve fessed up before I let you walk out of Antonio’s. What are you going to do?”

  “That email was just a good excuse for a change. I’d been at Antonio’s for two years. I was getting bored. Actually, the only reason I lasted as long as I did is because you ended up working there.”

  “You’re going to get bored with me.”

  “I don’t think that’s possible.”

  “I don’t believe you,” I said. “It won’t always be like this, you know.”

  He frowned. “Like what?”

  “I won’t always be this dramatic or theatrical. My life is bound to calm down.”

  “Okay.”

  “Okay? If my life calms down, then you’ll definitely find me boring.”

  “Sibby,” he said on a sigh. “I don’t know a lot about dating and stuff, but I do know that all the relationships I’ve had have fizzled out right around the three month mark. The sex gets stale and there’s nothing left to talk about, so I bail. But with you, that hasn’t happened. There’s nothing stale about you.”

  “I’m not a loaf of bread,” I shot out. “Besides, we’ve been dating in secret. That makes things more interesting. How do you feel now that you can take me out in public and hold my hand and all that gooey relationship crap?”

  “I’m excited for that gooey relationship crap,” he admitted. “I like trying new things. I want to try new things—with you. Believe me, or don’t. But through all this mess, I wasn’t the one who decided I needed space or tried to hide our relationship. That was all you.”

  I bit my lip and looked away. He was right. I was still recovering from Matt’s burn.

  “I’m not going to do what Matt did to you,” he said as if he could read my thoughts.