The Queen’s Code

by Alison A Armstrong

  When Kimberlee didn't respond again, she added, “And you have to do this on Sunday? Wouldn't you rather meet Mr. Adorable?”

  Kimberlee started picking at her cuticle and explained her impatience. “I've already set up our lunch and don't want to disappoint her. Besides, my grandmother is the only woman I know who definitely doesn't Frog Farm; I've got to see if she knows something about being a queen that the rest of us don't. She's not getting any younger, and frankly, I don't want to waste another week of my life living in the dark.”

  That stung. What does she think I do that's so blind? My husband's not home enough to be cultivated into anything, frog or prince.

  Feeling hurt and defensive, she wished Kimberlee good luck and used Sarah's whining to quickly get off the phone. As she straightened up the family room, Melissa thought about Frog Farming. Could that actually happen — inadvertently turning a good man into a frog?

  Unbidden, memories of her and Scott's early years brought tears to her eyes. Though both were poverty-stricken college students, they'd been very much in love. Scott was quietly romantic even though he couldn't afford anything as extravagant as flowers or dinner out. She still kept a box full of poems he'd written to her and a collection of 99¢ stuffed animals that he'd occasionally tucked into her purse, hidden in a drawer, or left on her pillow.

  They married two weeks after graduation. Expecting a period of newlywed bliss, Melissa was disappointed by how little time they actually had together. With Scott's eighty-hour workweek as a junior auditor in a big public accounting firm, there weren't many meals they shared. Still, they created romantic moments, like picnics in the backyard at midnight. They'd counted the stars and made love under them.

  It was after John was born, followed by Bradley two years later, that the quality of their relationship changed significantly. She'd often thought they must be extremely fertile to have conceived Sarah while rarely having sex. She'd lost track of how many weeks passed without it. Even working out to keep her petite body trim and firm hadn't made a difference in their sex life. Sadly, now she always thought of it as having sex, never as making love.

  Melissa told herself it was what happened to mature couples. But as she thought about Kimberlee's Frog Farming notion, she wondered if she had anything to do with Scott's lack of romantic initiative. Heck, initiative period, she thought, except where his job is concerned. She couldn't get him to do anything at home; whether it was in the kitchen or in the bedroom didn't seem to matter. She'd tried nudging, nagging, criticizing, pleading, even tears. Nothing got through to him and she was always left hurt and even more angry and hopeless.

  If she told the truth, she regretted how things had become between them. Scott was her children's father and the family breadwinner, but for a while now that was all he was. Beneath her bitter resentment, she grudgingly acknowledged that she missed the man she'd married.

  He had definitely changed. That much was certain.

  I didn't change him, did I? She suddenly doubted and her heart skipped a beat. But if I have changed him … maybe I could change him back!

  Impulsively, Melissa picked up the phone and speed-dialed Kimberlee's number. As the call went to voicemail, she composed herself once again. Knowing she wouldn't fool her friend, she still attempted to sound casual, “Kimmee, let me know what happens with your grandmother. Okay, Sweetie? I'll be home with the kids Monday night. I'm sure Scott'll be working late. Call me or come over. Okay?”

  Though she thought it, she couldn't bring herself to add, “Please ….”

  KIMBERLEE rehearsed the conversation with her grandmother as she drove from Santa Monica to the San Gabriel foothills. It seemed impossible to ask a seventy-seven-year-old woman for her advice about men — and appear cool and confident while doing it. She finally resigned herself to telling her about being a Frog Farmer and seeing how it went from there.

  Pulling up to the familiar white-trimmed blue-gray house, with its stone columns and wide porch, she felt nervous and excited. I hope whatever makes Grandmother different can be learned!

  CLAUDIA could tell by her fidgeting and how Kimberlee picked at her lunch that she wanted to talk about something important. This was uncharted territory for them. Claudia kept her tone soothing and detached, belying the painful ache of her own hopes and fears.

  After eating with Burt in the dining room, the two of them moved their tea and coffee to the carved mahogany table in the garden. Kimberlee didn't seem to notice her favorite flowers were in bloom, that Burt had clumsily excused himself to his workshop, or the elaborately carved chair that had been added to the beautiful outdoor set.

  Claudia waited patiently and was soon rewarded. She kept her expression open while Kimberlee slowly relayed the story of her recent realization. Suppressing a smile, she silently willed the younger woman to continue. With each word, Claudia's heart beat stronger as a long-dreamt-of future opened up before her.

  Concluding her narrative, Kimberlee said cautiously, “The man said that women who turn frogs into princes are queens … and, while I'm certain that I am a Frog Farmer, I'm also pretty certain that you're not.”

  After a pause, Claudia said simply, “Your grandfather has said I am his queen. It is a beautiful compliment. It is also accurate, in that I follow the Queen's Code. And I avoid Frog Farming — a charming term that I've never heard before, but which is absolutely accurate, and a terrible trap.”

  Lowering her voice to conceal the emotion that nearly overwhelmed her, she added, “I am glad you noticed.”

  Kimberlee leaned forward eagerly, her eyes lit up. “What's the Queen's Code? And how do you not Frog Farm?”

  Claudia chose her words with care. “I avoid Frog Farming by understanding and inspiring men. For example, I understand how they think and I am fluent in the language they speak. I also have a different point of view about men that prevents me from being hurt or frustrated by them. All of these things were taught to me by my mother and grandmother.”

  Kimberlee was even more excited. “But how did they know all that?”

  She studied Kimberlee's beloved face for a long moment — the worry lines in her young forehead, the sharp edge of her jaw line, the thinness of her lips. The evidence of disappointment, resentment and hard-driven self-sufficiency contrasted with the new hope in her intense blue eyes.

  “For more than five hundred years,” Claudia said, “the women in our family have studied men. Each generation has validated and added to the entire body of knowledge and passed it on from mother to daughter. Over time, the various elements of the Queen's Code were developed.”

  As Claudia expected, Kimberlee was shocked. “But if that's true, how come Myra never taught me all those things about men?”

  Claudia could not conceal her sadness. “Because your mother does not know. Because your mother did not want to know.”

  “But how could Myra not want to know? Half the planet is male,” Kimberlee responded.

  “As you know, she doesn't have much use for any of them — not your father, her father or her brother,” Claudia said, shaking her head.

  Kimberlee nodded her understanding and Claudia continued, “Your mother was deeply in love with your father. When Stewart was not ready to be responsible for a child, she was distraught and felt abandoned and betrayed. Hurt, unhealed, can turn to rage. And all this happened when women her age were already angry at men.”

  As Kimberlee frowned, Claudia continued. “Men were blamed, as they are today, for almost everything women no longer accepted. Men were considered the enemy. It was unfashionable to want to understand them. Men were wrong. And some women set themselves to proving they did not need men at all. Your mother was, and is, one of them. Given how devastated she was, I understand. But I still wish she would have let me help her heal.”

  Claudia waited, seeing the comprehension as Kimberlee connected this information with the way the young woman's mother had behaved all her life. Although it pained her, she continued, closely watching Kim
berlee's face.

  “No matter what I said, your mother was threatened by the way I think about and relate to men. She did not want to support men in opening up, by listening to them the way they need to be heard. She did not want to give men the energy to provide and the inspiration to act, by using the words that resonate for them. She could not imagine that it is possible for men and women to be powerful at the same time. She always thought it had to be one or the other and that she would lose whenever men succeeded.”

  Claudia concluded sadly, “Myra didn't want to be a queen. She prefers being a king.”

  Kimberlee chewed on this last statement. Claudia could tell that she didn't quite understand it. But her granddaughter was on a mission and didn't have time right now to pursue these subtleties. If all goes well, she reminded herself, there will plenty of time for everything.

  Tilting her head, Kimberlee asked, “How come you didn't teach Myra anyway?”

  She shrugged her shoulders. “It does not work that way. You cannot force this kind of knowledge on anyone. Not even for their own good. At the very least, the student has to be open to a new point of view about men. And committed to a deeper understanding of both men and women. Ideally, they want it badly enough that they would do anything for it.”

  Claudia smiled and felt her face brighten with the deep affection she felt. She added mischievously, “Such as risking the terrible awkwardness of talking about romance with an old woman.”

  She chuckled as Kimberlee's mouth dropped.

  BURT watched his wife and granddaughter from the window of his workshop. He was tickled by the strong resemblance between these two lovely women with the same bright blue eyes, high cheekbones and deep dimples. From long familiarity with Claudia's expressions, he could tell the conversation was going well.

  When she received Kimberlee's strange phone call, Claudia hoped that their only granddaughter was finally coming to inquire about men. She had been aching for years — sometimes with tearful self-restraint, lately with more hopeful patience — to pass on to Kimberlee her family's extraordinary legacy.

  Claudia's exploratory lessons with Karen, the teacher she met in her yoga class, had given Burt his first formal exposure to her esoteric knowledge. As Claudia taught Karen about what she called the “Stages of Development,” the information had been eye-opening, even for him. He completely resonated with her description of how men evolve in a predictable and unavoidable pattern. It illuminated his life and the source of his experience of being loved, appreciated, and truly understood by his wife.

  For more than fifty years, he'd been inspired to do everything he could to give Claudia what she needed, and to make her happy. While his buddies sometimes complained that they couldn't win with their wives, he'd been successful ninety-nine percent of the time. He suspected it was the way Claudia communicated with him. What was important to her was always clear and simple to act upon. He felt privileged to be married to her and was still more deeply in love than he'd thought possible.

  Burt decided now would be a good time to get the supplies he needed for the project being conceived as he watched Claudia and Kimberlee. He rubbed his hands together at the prospect of working with the long-familiar wood and surprising Claudia yet again. On his way, he stopped by their spot in the garden. “Sweetheart, I'm making a trip to the lumberyard. Do you lovely ladies need anything before I go?”

  Claudia smiled up at him, her beautiful eyes shining and the delicate skin around them crinkling in that way he adored. “No, thank you, my love. We have everything we need.” Her eyes were dancing. “Kimberlee has come over to inquire about her inheritance.”

  Burt was delighted for both of them. “Good for you!” he said, with an affectionate squeeze on his granddaughter's shoulder. He walked away, a fresh bounce in his step, whistling I'm Popeye the Sailor Man.

  KIMBERLEE sat speechless, slowly shaking her head. Her grandparents’ behavior shocked and amazed her. She was overwhelmed by the sense that they had been waiting for this moment. For how long?

  She'd stumbled upon a treasure whose value she could only guess. The hope that flared anew when she realized she was a Frog Farmer expanded even further. At the same time she felt fear — the deep-in-the-gut kind of fear a person experiences when they know the next step would change their life forever.

  Clasping her hands more tightly, she took a deep breath and let it out slowly. She studied her grandmother, in awe. After a moment, she asked, “Where do we begin?”

  CLAUDIA attempted to contain her reaction. “The first thing would be to schedule some time with you and Karen.”

  “Karen? Your friend I met at Thanksgiving?”

  Claudia nodded, “Yes, that Karen. I began teaching her many months ago and she is eager to continue.”

  Claudia's heart ached at the hurt that immediately appeared in Kimberlee's eyes. “Would you let me explain?”

  Kimberlee nodded but the old reserve was back. Claudia calmed herself with a deep breath and began slowly, “I have been longing to give you this information since you were a teen. But I was forbidden by my family's Covenant to pass it on to any child I had not personally raised.”

  As Kimberlee started to interrupt, Claudia shook her head. “That is a long story for another time. For now, please understand that it has pained me to watch you suffer, especially through your divorce. As I confronted my advancing years, your grandfather saw how much I was tormented by the thought of dying with all this knowledge inside me. He was the one that suggested I look for a student that was open enough and motivated enough to try an experiment.”

  She sighed and smiled. “Karen appeared, torn up by the conflicts in her marriage and desperately afraid she and Mike were not going to make it. She was highly motivated and surprisingly courageous.”

  Claudia paused and Kimberlee's curiosity got the better of her. She said, “After watching them at Thanksgiving, it's hard to believe they had conflicts. They're so in love. And what do you mean by courageous?”

  “It takes courage to let go of old beliefs,” Claudia replied. “It takes courage to question your own perceptions. Especially when they are validated every day by our culture.”

  Claudia wasn't surprised when Kimberlee didn't pursue that thought. It's a heady topic for anyone.

  “So you'd be teaching Karen and me together?” Kimberlee asked, a little less reserved.

  She nodded. “I taught Karen what she needed to know to turn her marriage around. But I noticed that she was beginning to suffer as I did, from being the only one with a dramatically different understanding of men. I was not willing to continue without a partner for her. And I had someone special in mind ….”

  “So you have been waiting for me!” Kimberlee said, jumping in her chair.

  Claudia's chest filled to bursting. “Yes, my dearest. And I am so happy right now I could cry.”

  KAREN recognized the number on her caller ID and picked up the phone with trepidation. “Hi Claudia, what's up? Are you cancelling Wednesday night?”

  “Not exactly. More of an alteration.”

  Karen smiled at the unexpected energy she heard in the older woman's voice. “Karen, something momentous has happened.”

  Karen's pulse raced, Could it be?

  Every morsel of information Claudia had taught her had made a difference in Karen's life. As an elementary school teacher, it had made her more effective with her male students and staff. With her husband, it had cured the resentment she had felt, and healed the pain from all those years of Mike's long hours and long weeks. Most important of all, Karen finally understood why Mike had been stalling about having children.

  But there were other problems in their relationship that Karen wanted Claudia's help with. Some were old, like her frustration with Mike not helping enough around the house. The newest challenge was fallout from their attempts to get pregnant: Their sex life was a wreck.

  Waiting for another student to show up — to share the burden as Claudia put it — had not be
en easy. Though Claudia listened with extraordinary compassion, when pressed, she always said, “Be patient. In due time, you'll have everything you need.” There was nothing Karen could do but honor her mentor's requirement for continuing her education. She had consoled herself with the fact that Claudia had waited half a century to pass on her esoteric knowledge.

  Trying not to sound desperate, Karen ventured, “Yes?”

  “It has finally happened. What we have been waiting for … and hoping for ….” Claudia choked up.

  Even in her anxiety, she was reminded of the formal way Claudia spoke. She rarely used contractions. It was one of the speech mannerisms Karen had come to love.

  Not wanting to inflame a wound, Karen played it safe. “Who is it? Do I know her?”

  As usual, Claudia sensed the intention behind her words. Another trait that endeared her to Karen, even though it made concealment nearly impossible. “Thank you for being considerate, Karen. But there is no need. Kimberlee is asking for the knowledge. Kimberlee has opened her mind … and her heart.”

  Karen heard the emotion in Claudia's voice and her own heart went out to her teacher. “That's great, Claudia. Beyond great. I'm happy for all of us, but I'm especially happy for you.”

  “Thank you, dear. Thank you for knowing how much this means to me. Kimberlee is waiting in the garden for the answer to ‘Where do we begin?’ Given what there is to accomplish, I do not think once a week is enough time. I am calling to see if we could use both Wednesday nights and Saturday afternoons.”

  Karen couldn't help but smile, in relief and anticipation. “You know Mike's Saturday routine. But even if he wasn't occupied, this means enough to him that he'd make it work. How many weeks should I plan on?”

  She heard the resolve in Claudia's voice as she answered, “It could easily take a decade to give all my knowledge to you. I will teach you as long as you want. Or, as long as I have.”

  Karen gulped. The elderly woman's mortality was a subject Karen avoided. But it had everything to do with Claudia's urgency and generosity. She felt Claudia wait patiently for her to digest the import of those words. She always honored the way that Karen never committed to anything thoughtlessly.