Reunited: A Novella

by HELEN HARDT

  “Why?”

  “Why did it matter? You were all set to marry Michelle.”

  “I almost didn’t.”

  I jolted. “What do you mean?”

  “I tried for months to find you. And the night before my wedding, I went to your house. I begged your mom to tell me where you were.”

  “Why would you want to find me? You were pseudo-engaged to Michelle throughout all of high school.”

  He pulled his wallet out of his back pocket, opened it, and took out a yellowed piece of paper. He handed it to me.

  “I wasn’t in love with Michelle, Kath. I was in love with you.”

  Twenty years earlier

  “Thank you.”

  Had my ears deceived me? Or had Brett Falcone just thanked me?

  “You’re welcome.” I forced the words out. “Same time next week?”

  “Tomorrow, actually.”

  “Brett, I don’t have time to tutor you tomorrow. It’s Friday. I have…an engagement.”

  “An engagement?” He laughed. “You sound so businesslike.”

  “It is business for me. I have a job, you know. You think it’s cheap to go to Stanford?”

  “I thought you had a scholarship.”

  “I do. For tuition. Not for room and board. Or books. Or incidentals. I need to make money.”

  “Where do you work?”

  “I work for my neighbors. I babysit their two-year-old on Fridays and Saturdays. They almost always go out.”

  “Fridays and Saturdays? You’re kidding, right? Those are the nights to party.”

  “This may have escaped your notice, Brett, but I’m not much of a partier. We nerds never are.”

  He smiled. Then he reached forward and touched my cheek. A tremor raced through me.

  “Who said you were a nerd?”

  “You did. In sixth grade. And seventh. Remember?”

  “Hey. You just accepted my apology for that.”

  “Right. I can forgive, Brett. I’m just not too quick to forget.”

  “Wow, I had no idea I hurt you so bad. I really am sorry, Kath. Truly.”

  He absently rubbed his thumb over my bottom lip. Did he have any idea what he was doing to me? No guy had ever touched me before.

  “You’re eighteen, right?” he said.

  “Yeah. Last month.”

  “Me too.” He smiled. “I guess we’re twins.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Something like that.”

  “You want to get a soda or something? To thank you for your help today, you know.”

  “No, thank you. I have homework to get to.”

  He was still touching my face. “Come on. A soda’ll take fifteen minutes. We don’t even have to leave campus. I’ll get them out of the machine.”

  “No.”

  “Please?”

  “Why do want to get me a soda so badly?”

  “I don’t know.” He shrugged his shoulders. “I’m just not quite ready to go home yet.”

  “Go find one of your jock friends to hang out with. I’m sure they’re in the gym doing whatever you guys do.”

  “What do you think we do in the gym?”

  “I don’t know. Swat each other with wet towels in the locker room?”

  “Hmm. I thought better of you.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “You’re stereotyping me. I never did that to you.”

  “You called me a nerd.”

  “Correction. You called you a nerd. I believe my words were ‘who said you were a nerd?’”

  I cocked my head. Damned if he wasn’t right. Did he really not consider me a nerd?

  “I never thought you were a nerd, Kath. And I never thought you were ugly all those years ago. I know I said some mean things. Like I said, I was a stupid punk. I’ve learned a lot since then. Learned a lot from you, actually.”

  I huffed. “You haven’t given me a glance since then.”

  “That’s where you’re wrong. I’ve noticed you a lot. Especially this year. You’ve grown up, Kath. You’ve grown into a very beautiful woman.”

  An anvil dropped to my gut. Eighteen-year-old guys didn’t talk like that. He was playing me. I knew it. But why?

  “Does Michelle know you go around telling other girls they’re beautiful?”

  “Michelle doesn’t care what I do. She has no say in what I do.”

  “She’s been your girlfriend forever.”

  “Since tenth grade. Not forever.”

  “You’re getting married.”

  “Who said that?”

  “She did. You forget—I’m on the yearbook and newspaper staff. I know what all the seniors wrote for their plans for the future. She wrote, ‘marry Brett and have kids.’”

  I shook my head. Such a lofty goal… What could one expect from the head cheerleader who had cotton candy for brains? Michelle Bates was another one of the beautiful people who never lowered herself to talk to me. Not that it mattered much. Michelle was hardly what I wanted in a friend.

  Neither was Brett Falcone.

  “We might get married,” Brett said. “I don’t know.”

  “You didn’t hand in a goal sheet for the yearbook,” I said. Why I remembered that, who knew?

  “No.” He cleared his throat. “Not yet.”

  “It’s almost April. We go to print in a few weeks. You better get it in.”

  “Yeah. I suppose so. Look, about that soda—”

  “I can’t. But thanks.”

  “Okay. Next time maybe.”

  Right. “Maybe. I’ve got to go. I’ll see you here Monday after school.”

  “Sure you can’t do it tomorrow?”

  “Positive.”

  “Okay, then.” He shrugged. “Monday it is.” He sauntered out of the room and down the hallway.

  I gathered my books—and my nerves—and walked down the hallway to Mr. Phillips’s office. I peeked my head in, told him the first session had gone well, left the building, and walked the three blocks to my home.

  My skin was hot, and then cold. Sweat covered my brow, and my heart thundered.

  Damn. Now was not a good time to be coming down with a virus. I inhaled, threw my backpack on the counter, and reached into the refrigerator for a soda. I downed half of it before I realized I was still remembering Brett’s touch on my lower lip.

  4

  Carefully I unfolded the weathered note.

  “I’ve been carrying that around for twenty years,” Brett said.

  My skin chilled. Sparks settled low in my gut and rushed between my legs as I began to read.

  Dear Kath,

  I wish I knew where you were, how you’re doing. I wish I knew why you left. I thought we had something special. I know it was special to me, at least.

  I got the grade I needed in math, thanks to you. I’m going to college in the fall. Michelle and I are getting married tomorrow. She wants to live in an apartment off campus. We’re not having a big wedding. Just family at the courthouse. Then we’ll find an apartment, and college will start in month.

  There’s only one problem. I don’t want to marry Michelle, Kath. I only want to marry one girl.

  But she’s gone. I have no way to find her. I’ve tried everything. I went to your house tonight. I begged your mom to tell me where you are. She wouldn’t.

  Not a day goes by that I don’t think of you, of our time together. I don’t regret a second of it, and I hope you don’t either. I wish I had told you I love you. I do, you know.

  Maybe one day I won’t miss you so much. I hope so, because it’s too hard.

  I wish you the best of everything.

  Brett

  Tears clouded my vision. “You never said you were in love with me.”

  “I didn’t realize it until you left me.”

  “I didn’t leave you, Brett. We were never officially together.”

  “I was in love with you, Kath. Desperately in love with you.”

  “You were eighteen. What did you know about l
ove?”

  “I knew what I felt for you was different than what I felt for Michelle.”

  “Then why did you marry her?”

  He shook his head. “Everyone expected it. I wish I had a better explanation. I thought you were lost to me forever. It’s always been you, Kath.”

  Wow. What could I say to that? That I still dreamed of his kisses twenty years later? That being held in his arms had been better than being held in any other man’s? That making love for the first time, which should have been the awkward coupling of two virgins, had evoked images and emotion I hadn’t seen or felt since?

  God knew that was all true. But I couldn’t tell him. There was too much baggage. Too much he didn’t know. I folded the note and handed it back to him.

  He pushed my hand away. “Keep it. It’s yours.” He sighed. “You can’t tell me you didn’t feel anything. You can’t tell me our time together meant nothing to you. You’re not like that. You were never like that. You wouldn’t have done what we did if you hadn’t felt something.”

  True enough. I’d loved him. Loved him like I’d never loved anyone before or since, not even Danny. Hell, especially not Danny. I’d settled. I’d given up trying to recapture what I felt with Brett. I’d wanted a child. Desperately wanted a child. Marriage was necessary, and Danny had been a great candidate—intelligent, a doctor, nice-looking. Who could have asked for more?

  I had cared for Danny. It had hurt to break up.

  But I hadn’t felt the soul-wrenching connection, the oneness, that I’d felt with only one person.

  The man sitting across from me now.

  “Aren’t you going to talk to me?”

  I nibbled on my lower lip.

  “This is a dream come true, seeing you again. You dropped off the planet, and I thought I’d finally resigned myself to it being over. But you’ve always been in my mind, Kath. Never far from my heart.”

  “I don’t know what to say to you, Brett.”

  He reached across the table and took my right hand in his left, rubbed my palm with his thumb.

  “Just say you’re happy to see me.” He smiled.

  “Of course I’m happy to see you.” I fidgeted, hoping my hand wasn’t too sweaty in his. “I just never expected to hear you say those words.”

  “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said it like that. It’s the God’s honest truth, but I should have gone slower. I’m sorry.”

  I smiled through trembling lips. “You have nothing to apologize for. You’re very sweet, and I loved hearing all of it.”

  “Good. Glad I didn’t scare you away.”

  “You didn’t.” He couldn’t. “I just never thought I’d see you again.”

  “You came back.”

  “Yeah, but I came back to a different suburb from where we grew up. I had no idea you’d be here.”

  “Fate, I guess.” He squeezed the hand he still held. “Luck.”

  “Maybe. What brought you up here, anyway?”

  “Work. I started my own construction company a few years ago, and last year I partnered up with a guy I’d worked under a while back. He had some ideas, and coming up here seemed to work well. Once Michelle and I separated, I didn’t need to stay in Edgewood, so here I am.”

  “Does Zoe live with you full time?”

  “Yeah, she does. It worked out better that way. Since I own my own business, my schedule is more flexible than Michelle’s. She goes with Michelle on the weekends.”

  “And your older girls?”

  “Candy’s nineteen and in her first year of college. Marie lives with Michelle. She wanted to stay at school with her friends.”

  “Makes sense. Has it been hard on Zoe, being separated from her big sisters?”

  “She’s acclimated. Kids are great like that.”

  “Yeah, they are. But Maya really misses Danny. He lives in Cleveland and drives down to pick her up every weekend, but it’s hard.”

  “Divorce is always hard.”

  “Danny gave me a hard time about moving back here, but I needed to. It’s been so long since I’ve been here. I never came back after I left.”

  “I know. I looked for you for a while. I eventually gave up.”

  I shook my head, still fingering the note in my hands. “I can’t believe you looked for me.”

  “Don’t get me wrong. I was married to Michelle, and I was always faithful. Even if I’d found you, I still would have been faithful. I just needed to know you were okay. I always wondered.”

  I swallowed a lump in my throat. All this time, I had been running, trying to make peace with my past. I hadn’t given a thought to what my leaving might have done to Brett. “God, Brett, I’m so sorry.”

  “For what?”

  “For leaving you hanging.” My eyes misted.

  “Hey.” He squeezed my hand. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”

  “You didn’t. I’m more upset with myself for being so self-centered.”

  “You were never self-centered, Kath. You always thought of others first.”

  “Not when I left, I didn’t. I… There were reasons I had to leave. Reasons I couldn’t tell anyone. I should have thought what it might do to you. I mean… I knew you cared for me. I just had no idea…”

  “That I loved you?”

  “Yeah. I really didn’t. I’m sorry.”

  “I should have told you.”

  “Maybe. Maybe I should have told you, too.”

  “You loved me?”

  “In my way, yes, I did.” I still did.

  “Well, we were from two different worlds. You had a scholarship to Stanford. I was the son of a construction worker. I guess it was never meant to be.”

  I nodded, and my lips trembled. “Maybe not. But maybe, if things had been different…”

  “Things couldn’t have been different, Kath, or we wouldn’t have been who we were.”

  Damn. He was right. How did he get to be so intuitive? Then, he always had been. I’d learned so much about him in the short time we’d shared. So much I hadn’t expected, so much I hadn’t imagined. Brett Falcone was more than a jock, more than the punk kid who liked to make fun of people in middle school. He was intelligent, driven in his own way, highly passionate.

  Oh, to be eighteen again.

  But I wasn’t eighteen. I was thirty-eight. And a mother. A single mother. A single mother who should get my daughter home to bed.

  I checked my watch. “It’s almost eight. I need to get Maya home.”

  “Yeah,” he agreed. “Zoe needs to get to bed too. Kath, it was great seeing you. Talking to you. I wish…”

  “Yeah, me too,” I said.

  “Can we get together? Talk some more?”

  “Maybe over the weekend. Danny picks Maya up at three on Friday.”

  “Great. I’ll drop Zoe at Michelle’s around five and then pick you up for dinner. Sound good?”

  “Dinner would be wonderful. You need my address?”

  “I’ve got it.” He winked. “It’s on the soccer paperwork for Maya.”

  I nodded. “Of course.” I called to Maya. “It’s time to go, sweetie.”

  Maya started to complain but then let out an ear-splitting yawn.

  “I know a little girl who needs to get to bed.”

  “I know another one,” Brett said.

  “It was great seeing you,” I said.

  “You too.” He bent closer and whispered in my ear. “I’ll be counting the minutes until Friday.”

  “Really?” I couldn’t help asking.

  “Oh, yes,” he said. “I’m positive.”

  Positive.

  God, he remembered.

  Lightning flashed between my legs.

  Twenty years earlier

  I’d just put little Terry to bed, and I checked my watch. Seven thirty on a Friday evening and I was babysitting. The story of my life. I hadn’t dated, had never been kissed, had never even danced with a guy.

  But all that would change in a few months when I
went to Stanford. Stanford, where everyone was as smart as I was. Stanford, where no one knew me. No one remembered the awkwardness of my middle school years. To the incoming Stanford class, I’d simply be Kathryn Zurakowsky, the girl with pretty brown hair and eyes, a decent figure, and legs that wouldn’t quit. Yes, I’d grown into a pretty woman.

  Heck, even the Italian Stallion had said I was a fox. I still couldn’t quite wrap my mind around that one.

  My tummy growled. I wandered into the kitchen to see what the Rogans had left for me. Debbie was usually good for some decent eats. I peeked into the fridge and found some Black Forest ham and cheddar cheese. A ham sandwich sounded good. Then I spied the leftover pizza box. Mmm, even better.

  I pulled out the box and found three pieces of cheesy pepperoni pizza. Perfect. I placed two of them in the microwave, pushed start, and then poured myself a glass of iced tea while I waited.

  Ding!

  The doorbell. Who would be coming around on a Friday night? Could be the paper boy.

  I walked to the door and opened it.

  There stood the Italian Stallion himself, complete with math book in hand.

  “What are you doing here?”

  “You said you were babysitting.”

  “Yeah. And I am.”

  “The kid still up?”

  “Not that it’s any of your business, but no, she’s in bed.”

  “Good. We can study.”

  “I am studying. Government. Not math. I’ll see you on Monday after school, Brett.”

  “Come on. Please? I came all the way over here.”

  “I’m not allowed to have people over while I babysit.” Okay, that was a lie. I often had friends visit while Terry was sleeping. Debbie didn’t mind.

  “Nice try, Kath. I talked to your mom. She told me where you were and said it would be okay if I stopped by.”

  Mental note—have a chat with Mom.

  “Nobody calls me Kath, by the way.”

  “Then I’ll be the first. I like it.”

  I kind of liked it too, and that irked me.

  “I have my own studying to do.”

  “It’s Friday night. You can study tomorrow.”

  “Yeah, it’s Friday night, so why are you here? Why aren’t you out partying with your heavy metal zombie friends?”