Seasons in the Sun

by Strassel, Kristen

  I narrowed my eyebrows, trying to wrap my head around what she was saying. Sure, he joked and teased, but I thought it was a bit extreme to go as far as to say he didn’t care about anything. Or anyone.

  Taryn picked up on my confusion. “Don’t get me wrong, it’s nice. But this isn’t him. Either being here, or you, seem to have some sort of calming effect on him. But when we leave, you need to forget about him. Or else he will break your heart, just like he does to every other girl.”

  My eyes widened, as I tried to process what she was saying. My brain rejected it. “I don’t know what to say.” I said quietly, playing with the melted ice cream in the bottom of the cup.

  “Say you won’t sleep with him.”

  I couldn’t hide my shock. “What?”

  “Say you won’t sleep with him. Listen, he’s my twin brother, my best friend. He tells me everything. I know you guys meet up at night. He swears to me you guys haven’t had sex. I love him, but I just can’t trust him. It just wouldn’t be fair to you. He will get back to LA and go back to being a train wreck, just like he was before.”

  “What are you talking about?” My heart was pounding against my ribs. This was too much.

  “Did Tristan tell you why we’re here this summer?”

  “Yeah, because of your parents fighting and getting divorced.”

  Taryn shook her head with slight frustration. “Okay, so that might be some of it, but it’s not enough to ship us off to some island for the summer. We’re seventeen, not seven. We’re here because Tristan is totally out of control, and we needed to get him away from it.”

  “Away from what?”

  “Does he ever drink when he’s around you?”

  My mind still spun. I could almost taste the sharp surprise of the vodka he’d put in my soda as she said it. “Just once, I think,” I said softly. “At my dad’s show.”

  Taryn nodded almost like she was doing the math in her head as I said it. “I was hoping you said no. He’s been so much better this summer, but I’m not surprised. Drinking’s not the worst of it, either.” She almost seemed apologetic as she heaped on another layer.

  I sighed sadly. Tristan had joked about drinking with me, but to hear he had such a problem was nothing short of mindblowing.

  “Why? How?”

  Taryn thought for a few minutes about her answer. “I don’t know. Somehow, I think he likes the attention, even if it’s all negative. I mean, we can have anything we want,” she sounded almost embarrassed. “Nobody ever tells us we can’t have something, especially if we’re out and about. My dad’s too famous and has too much money. So Tristan has access to everything, and he likes to try it all. The problem is, nothing ever makes him happy. So he wants more. Then he gets to the point where he doesn’t know what he’s doing, and he makes a mess for us to clean up. And stupidly, we always do, so there’s no reason for him to stop.”

  I wanted to cry listening to this. Tristan, although he could be absolutely maddening, was always smiling, always laughing, always joking. “It just doesn’t even sound like you’re talking about the same person.”

  Taryn’s eyes shined with unshed tears. “I know. I wish he could stay here forever, but he’d wind up messing this up too. It’s just what he does, Callie. I love him, but he’s a mess. And I wish there was something to do to stop him before he winds up hurting himself. Or someone else.”

  A tear escaped down Taryn’s cheek and she used one of her napkins to blot it away. “We should head back, don’t you think?”

  I nodded. I followed her back down Main Street and to her car in stunned silence.

  As we drove back home, I finally worked up the courage to ask, “What can I do?”

  She looked at me and gave me a watery smile, shaking her head just slightly. “Just enjoy the rest of the summer. And please just don’t sleep with him.”

  Chapter Ten

  Taryn rocked my world with her revelation. I almost wished she hadn’t said anything. Now I had a hard time acting normal around Tristan. I watched him more closely, looking for signs of trouble. I asked him more questions, waiting for some grand confession that probably wasn’t going to come.

  If he caught on, he didn’t show it. I couldn’t help but wonder if Taryn had told him about our talk.

  I would never ask him.

  “You need to ask Keisha to switch days off with you so you don’t work next Thursday,” Tristan announced between cappuccino customers.

  “Why?”

  “Warped Tour is coming. I want to go. You need to come with me.”

  He might as well have told me that in a foreign language. “What’s the Warped Tour?”

  Tristan laughed. “I’m going to pretend you didn’t just say that. Now you really need to go to experience its awesomeness.”

  Honestly, if he told me he was bringing me to watch grass grow, I’d go. But this sounded like a lot of fun. Too much fun to be happening on Martha’s Vineyard.

  “Where is it?”

  “Some fairgrounds ….” He racked his brain.

  “Barnstable fairgrounds?”

  “Bingo!” He put up his hand to high five me. When I returned it, he closed his fingers over mine, holding us still in the moment as he smiled down at me.

  Nervous that my mother would come around the corner or someone would tell her what was going on, I forced myself to pull away from him and get back to work. “Yeah, that’s never going to happen,” I informed him as I picked my knife back up.

  “Why?”

  “It’s on the Cape. My mother’s never going to let me go.”

  “It’s an earthy crunchy hippie music festival. Totally up her alley. She’ll go for it.”

  I shook my head. “Not with you. She totally freaked out when you brought me surfing that day. And that was just on the other side of town. Not on another island.”

  “Well then, we need to figure out a way to get you off the island.”

  I scoffed. Sneaking out of the house and going down to the beach was one thing. But leaving the island? That was going to require a level of deception I hadn’t mastered.

  “C’mon Callie, you know you want to go.” He leaned on his forearms, daring me to give in. My heart broke looking at that smile. Sure, he was asking for trouble. And he’d get it. But knowing the secret behind those laughing eyes was almost too much to bear.

  “Fine. Help me come up with what to tell her.”

  He stood up straight, triumphant. “It will be worth it, I promise.”

  I couldn’t stop thinking about it all day. I needed to make this happen. No story I came up with was good enough. Everything I came up with was full of holes. So I told her the scariest thing I could think of: the truth.

  After all, there was an extremely slim chance she could go for it. Like Tristan said, it was an earthy crunchy musical festival. Plus, I was still riding the wave of her excitement about me sitting with the Obamas at the fundraiser.

  “Hey, Mom,” I approached her that evening as she sat on the deck, reading.

  “What’s up, Callie?” She picked up on the questioning tone in my voice. Smiling, she put down her book to talk to me. Score. I caught her in a good mood.

  “So, Tristan invited me to go to a concert with him, and …”

  “No.” She said pleasantly, and went back to reading her book.

  “That’s it? No? You didn’t even let me finish!”

  “You didn’t need to. You’re not going.”

  “Why?”

  “I don’t need to tell you why.”

  “Because you think I’m just a kid.”

  “Not that it matters, but because you’re my daughter and you’re fourteen. Tristan might not seem like he’s that much older than you, but he is. You don’t even know why he’s here or the kind of trouble he’s —”

  “What if I do know and I don’t care?”

  That stopped her dead in her tracks. She just stared at me.

  “I know,” I continued softly, as calmly as po
ssible. My whole body shook. “And has he been in trouble all this summer? No. Please, just stop thinking he’s so awful. And just trust me. Please.”

  “Look, Callie, I get it. He’s attractive, he’s charming, but he is just a bad influence on you. I don’t want you around that sort of thing. He’s manipulative —”

  “Did you ever stop to think I might be a good influence on him?” She stared at me, lips tight. My mother did not like being interrupted. Or challenged. My anger made my voice louder. “Yeah me. Little kid Callie. I make good choices, I’m smart, and I shouldn’t have to tell you this because you are my mother and you should know this already. And I. Am. Going.”

  I stormed off in the direction of my room, slamming every door in my path. My mother was yelling at me, to me, I don’t know, just yelling in the kitchen. I’d heard enough.

  Keisha jumped off her bed when I blew into the room, alarmed by my entrance and the chaos I left behind downstairs. I flopped down on my bed, face first, and hugged my pillow. The anger was still trembling through my body.

  “I need you to switch days off with me. You take my Saturday, I need Thursday.” The anger hadn’t quite dissolved from my voice, it sounded like a command.

  “What? Why?” Her shock hadn’t worn off; she sat up to look at me.

  “I have plans.”

  “Okay.” She was obviously intrigued.

  “And I need you to keep quiet about it. All of it. The plans and the switch. Can you do that for me?”

  A smile spread over Keisha’s face. “As long as you tell me every detail when you get back.”

  Chapter Eleven

  Sleep was way too much to ask for that night. I couldn’t calm my brain. All I could think of was the million ways I could get caught. Did I tell my mother what day the concert was? Where? What it was? I didn’t think so. Maybe she didn’t even remember our fight from last week. Nah, that was impossible. My mother didn’t forget things like that. She would know something was up when Keisha showed up in my place this morning.

  Keisha’s alarm startled me when it went off. Maybe I did sleep after all. She planned to tell my mother that she needed to switch the day with me because she had plans with Ray on Saturday. Funny how it was perfectly acceptable for her to go out with her boyfriend.

  Through heavy lids, I watched her get ready for work. “Have fun today,” she whispered, leaning over to give me a kiss as she left. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”

  As the sun fully rose, I got out of bed. Whoever had the day off always had morning animal duty. I fed the chickens and the goat, practically tip toeing to avoid seeing my dad. I had no problem sneaking around my mom’s back, but I couldn’t face my dad when I was up to no good.

  His pickup truck rolled down the driveway at 7:30. One last check in the mirror. I was used to not getting much sleep, but it was starting to catch up with me. My face was puffy and dark smudges underlined my eyes. I hoped my yellow crochet babydoll top and jean shorts were appropriate for this concert. It was my favorite summer outfit, and I felt good wearing it.

  I wrote a note so nobody would panic when they realized I was nowhere to be found. My heart pounded as I placed it on the kitchen table where my mother dropped the mail on her way in. I forced myself out the door to go meet Tristan.

  I found him in the driveway, loading the Jeep for what looked like a week’s vacation. He pushed bags and blankets in against the coolers in the hatchback.

  “Hey,” I said in greeting. “Was I supposed to bring anything?”

  “Good morning.” He stopped what he was doing, put his arms around my waist and kissed me. “Nope, I’ve got it.”

  “I feel bad.”

  “Don’t.” He let go of me and went back to work.

  “Why do we need all of this stuff for a concert?”

  “It’s an all day show. And we have to tailgate before we go in.”

  “What?”

  “Party in the parking lot.” He winked.

  My heart sank a little; thinking first of what Taryn told me and secondly of my soapbox rant to my mother about being such a good influence. But I’d been to plenty of parties in my life, and none of them were scandalous, so maybe this wasn’t going to be either.

  Maybe I just had to trust him.

  “So, what did you tell her?” Tristan asked as we drove to the ferry.

  “The truth.” I watched his face for reaction.

  “What?! You can’t surprise me like that while I’m driving, Callie. She actually went for this?”

  “No, not exactly. I told her, she said no, I freaked out, we fought, and I told her I was going anyway.”

  “And the island isn’t on lockdown?”

  “I never had a chance to tell her any details. Keisha is going to tell her she needed Saturday off and switched with me.”

  “So Keisha’s the one lying.” He grinned, liking that twist.

  “Exactly. But I’m the one who has to sneak around.”

  “Don’t worry about it anymore today. Just have fun.”

  I tried to relax as we approached the ferry dock, but it wasn’t easy. Once I got on that boat, it was final. I was leaving the island with someone I had been forbidden to go out with. I left a note only saying I was “out” and didn’t know when I would be home.

  It was not going to go over well.

  A thousand times I wanted to beg Tristan to turn around because I was too afraid to actually go through with it. But each time my mouth just couldn’t form the words.

  “This is so cool!” Tristan sounded like a little kid as he drove his Jeep into the belly of the boat. I could hardly breathe. “I’ve never driven in to a boat before!”

  “Yeah,” I tried to look past the problem I’d created myself to enjoy the adventure. There was no turning back now. “It is cool.”

  “I’m so glad we’re doing this today, Callie.”

  “Me too.” His smile always made me feel better.

  We left the car and spent the trip on the top deck, watching the ocean as we travelled. Tristan had never been on a ferry before, and I didn’t get to go on it often, either. He loved every second of it. He belonged outside, soaking in the sunshine.

  About an hour later the boat was docking in Woods Hole. We went back to the car to wait for our turn to drive off. Tristan punched the address information into his GPS. We weren’t far from the fairgrounds.

  The gates had been open for less than an hour, but the parking lot already hosted a good sized crowd. If I didn’t know any better, I would have thought this was the main event. Everyone was outside of their cars, with tables, chairs and even grills set up. Loud music played from many of the cars as we drove by. Some people played horseshoes, others catch with a football, and someone had even set up a volleyball net. Beach balls floated lazily through the air. Many people flew flags from their cars or had other landmarks set up.

  Once the attendant guided us to our spot, Tristan jumped out of the car and started to unload the hatch. Not knowing what to do, I got out to help him.

  “Our neighbors seem cool,” he said as he pulled the cooler out. He spread the blanket out on the tailgate. After retrieving two cans from the cooler, he hopped up on the blanket and motioned for me to join him.

  I climbed up next to him. He kissed me as he handed me a can.

  “Isn’t this great?” He said, looking around at the celebration all around us.

  “It’s not what I expected at all.”

  “What did you expect?”

  “I don’t know if I expected anything, to be honest.” I looked down at the can before I opened it. “Oh my God, Tristan! You gave me beer.”

  “It’s a party. People drink beer at parties.” He took the can from my hand, popped it open and gave it back to me before opening his own. I stared down at it, as carbonation fizzed from the opening. I looked back at Tristan, who was already enjoying a sip like it was the most natural thing to do at eleven on a Thursday morning.

  I lifted the drink to my
mouth slowly, knowing that I should stand up to Tristan, to try to stop him. After all, I was a good influence, right? But what was the big deal about this, that Tristan was so gripped by it? I took a sip, surprised by the bitter, dry taste of it.

  “It will grow on you,” Tristan said out of the corner of his mouth as he threw at least half the can back.

  I put my head down, looking at the hole in the can for a minute. “Have you had much time for it to grow on you?”

  He finished the beer faster than anybody should, and looked at me piercingly. “What does that mean?”

  I got really nervous, and took another sip, wincing a little. “Nothing, nothing. I, just, you just seem to know what you’re doing.”

  I felt him smile wide, and looked up. He was staring at me with a glint in his eye. “That’s what they all say.”

  I flushed and looked away. All the things Taryn had said flooded me, and my nerves got the better of me again. I sipped the beer again without being sure why I did it. It let me down a little that Tristan was right; the taste was already easier on me.

  “We didn’t bring anything to do,” I said looking around at everyone else grilling, playing cards or football, being much more social than us. I wanted to distract Tristan from picking up a third beer.

  “You want to do something?” He leaned in closer to me.

  “Why don’t we walk around or something?” My breath caught in my throat. Everything about today had me on edge.

  “All right.” He tipped his head back to finish what was left of the can, and grabbed another to travel with. I still had some of my first beer left. I wasn’t sure what to do with it, so I brought it with me.

  Tristan took my free hand with his and we started down the aisle. He stopped about ten cars down, at a party with girls wearing cowboy hats and bikini tops playing horseshoes and guys cooking meat on a massive grill. Obnoxious music blared from the inside of their truck.

  “Hey man, what are you listening to?” Tristan headed right over to a laughing guy with a mess of long blond hair, and tugged me along. The guy high-fived him like he had known he was coming all along. Everybody liked Tristan; it made me smile.