“Well, seeing her ride Bird to Kingdom Come made me lose the respect that I had for her. If she doesn’t respect her marriage, why should I?”
“You’re right about that. I forgot about that tidbit of a hot mess.”
“Exactly.”
TRICEY
I wanted to jump up when I heard keys in the front door. I was so happy to hear Blood coming, but I was way too sore to make sudden movements.
My back and pelvis were still killing me. I was dying to hear how far I’ve dilated during my doctor’s appointment on Tuesday. It felt like I was due to give birth any minute rather than in a few weeks.
Blood laughed at me as he stood over me. I was lying in the middle of the living room floor.
“This is the most comfortable spot that I could find,” I whined.
“Girl, come get in the bed.”
“The bed makes my back hurt. I want to lay here.”
Again, Blood laughed at me. He then took his shoes off and got down on the floor with me.
“What happened?”
Luckily, the search came up empty. How? I have no idea. The stash spot can be in the engine for all I know.
As soon as I returned the truck to my garage, Smith and Shon were right behind me and were in there for hours while I lay here waiting to hear from Blood.
Blood ignored my nosiness. “Roll over on your side.”
I did as I was told. Then he sat behind me and started to massage my tailbone softly and slowly. It felt so good that I closed my eyes as he spoke to me.
“They just took me in to fuck with me. They just wanted names. Tried to scare me. Wanted to know who my connect was.”
“So they just let you go?”
“They had to. They didn’t have probable cause,” he answered. “But I do need to lay low for a little while.”
“Lower than before?”
“Yes, lower than before.”
I simply sighed and enjoyed the massage. I was in enough pain. I didn’t need the headache of worrying about Blood on top of pregnancy irritation.
“What are you going to do, Tricey?”
“About what?”
“Amiel and the baby.”
“What is there to do?”
“Tell him about his baby.”
“Shouldn’t we be talking about your stint with the law instead of me and my married baby’s daddy?” Then I tried to laugh in order to tear at the tension that Amiel’s name brings into any conversation.
Blood didn’t find anything funny. “You need to stop avoiding the issue.”
“How can I avoid it when it’s in my stomach every day?”
“So you’re not going to tell him?”
Letting go of Amiel was so important to my mental and emotional stability that when I found out that I was pregnant a few days later, it did not change the fact that I couldn’t talk to him anymore. Telling Amiel that I was pregnant would have only made getting over him worse. Plus, this is my first child- my first child. His wife did a good job of ruining any happiness for Amiel, so I was not about to give her the satisfaction of ruining my first experience of having a child with her antics and dramatics.
Amiel and Bridget got enough time out of my life. I refused to give them the next nine months of what was supposed to be joyous and exciting.
However, my mother did raise me right, so Iknow that it’swrong to keep Amiel away from one of his children.
“What do you think I should do?”
Blood answered, “As a man, I would want to know about my child.”
“But you’re a man. That’s the difference between you and Amiel.”
“Don’t deny him his manhood because he chose to be with his family over you. That’s what a man is supposed to do. Sometimes you gotta look out for well-being over how you feel about someone. You think all these couples out here are together because they love each other? Life ain’t all about being in love with someone. Life is about paying bills, taking care of your kids, and keeping a roof over your family’s head. That shit trumps keeping the next chick happy… No offense.”
He sounded just like Amiel and it made my face burn. “That’s a bunch of bullshit.”
“So tell me this; if a man you’ve been with for a year or two tells you to pack up your shit and leave your child and come with him, would you?”
“No.”
“So why did you expect Amiel to do it?”
“It wasn’t about him leaving his children. I wanted him to man up and commit to me over a wife that he claimed he was separated from.”
“That wife controls his relationship with his children and other things in his life. Getting a divorce ain’t as easy as signing a piece of paper. She would have tried to take his home, his cars, and then there is child support. Let’s not forget possible alimony since she didn’t work. A man has to prepare to walk away from something like that. He can’t just do it because the woman he actually loves tells him to.”
Blood then began to massage my legs. He also removed my flip-flops and began to rub my feet. It saddened me that it couldn’t be the father of my child helping me through the pain, but I was appreciative to have someone there for me. Blood was a blessing, despite the iniquities that make him who he is.
“I didn’t hurt your feelings, did I?”
“No. It’s nothing I haven’t heard before,” I told him. “Amiel used to tell me the same thing. ‘It’s cheaper to keep her’. But I also felt so offended at the fact that he thought my worth was sitting beside him and waiting like some loser while he decided if and when he was going to leave his wife.” In order to stop the tears that I felt coming, I paused for a moment before continuing. “Yes, leaving a marriage can be a big burden for a man, but many men do it every day. I’ve seen it happen. It was possible for Amiel to make that move. It’s just that his love for me was not strong enough to persuade him into making it.”
EIGHT
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
TRICEY
Tuesday afternoon Vic came along with me to my doctor’s appointment.
She was sitting beside me sipping a heavenly looking extra caramel frappuccino with an extra shot of espresso from Starbucks. I was told that I shouldn’t drink caffeine products during my pregnancy, so I have regretfully sobered up from that addiction.
Kinda.
I miss everything good right now; sex, coffee, liquor, and more sex. It has been eight months and counting since I have had sex and a drink, so I can’t wait to get drunk and give it up.
“So did you enjoy your baby shower?”
I haven’t talked to Vic much since the baby shower. What was more important was how she felt about seeing Lyric again for the first time. I chose to wait to pry into that, though. I didn’t want to seem too thirsty.
“For the most part,” I answered with a sigh. “I didn’t expect to get so emotional about Amiel.”
“When are you going to tell him about the baby?”
I laughed as I told her, “You sound just like Blood. He asked me the same thing last night.”
“And?”
“And I don’t know. I’ll think about that after I have the baby. For right now, I just want to
have my baby in peace.”
“How do you know it won’t be in peace?”
“Because it wasn’t peaceful when Amiel and I were together, so Lord knows that a baby will make it that much worse.”
“He and Bridget may not even be together anymore. They were on their way to divorce court anyway.”
“Yea right,” I said as I smacked my lips in disagreement.
“How do you know?”
“I don’t know, but I cannot and will not even attempt to think that positively about the situation. I have to live by what I know, and what I know is that the last thing Amiel told me was that his family is more important than my existence in his life. Common sense says that includes my baby.”
There was nothing Vic or Blood could tell me to make me feel like I owed Amiel anyth
ing. If, and that’s a big if, he ever finds out about his child, he should consider it a blessing because all I owe him is leaving him alone and letting him have his family that excludes me.
“You’re right,” Vic stated. “Tell him when you get ready. Enjoy having this baby. It’s an experience you can never replace, so own it.”
It was obvious that she felt like that was a bunch of crap and was only getting on my side to make me feel better.
“So, how did you feel seeing Lyric again?”
It was time for me to put her in the hot seat.
Vic immediately rolled her eyes. “She was so damn mean. I didn’t expect her to love my dirty draws all over again, but, damn, it’s been yeeears! If we can get over it, surely she should.”
“You’re right.”
“She doesn’t have to be my friend, but I totally didn’t expect the disrespect and overreactions to my presence. I felt like I was in a high school beef!”
“I can understand that.”
I try very hard not to get in the middle of Lyric and Vic’s issues. I understand both of their sides; Vic was low down and dirty for fucking my ex-boyfriend, and Lyric needs to get over it if I have.
“TRICEY!”
Blood’s voice boomed through my condo and shook the walls. His voice was so loud that it snatched me out of my sleep abruptly; causing my head to spin and my heart to beat quickly.
I could hear him running through the condo from one room to the next; where his various stashes are hidden.
“TRICEY! TRICEY!”
I stumbled into a pair of jogging pants and waddled into the hallway as fast as I could. The house was still very dark so I had to follow the sounds of Blood slamming doors, amongst other things.
I startled Blood when I appeared in the doorway of the pantry panicking. “What’s wrong?!”
I could see his silhouette knelt down as he dug in a floorboard and held a pistol in his free hand.
He spun around quick when he heard my voice and damn near pointed his gun at me.
I asked, “What the fuck is wrong with you?!”
Something seemed to come over him; without answering, he sat on the floor and put his
face in his hands.
“Oh my God! What happened?!”
It took Blood awhile to say the words. His breathing was short and deep, as if he were trying to catch his breath, as he explained to me that there had been a robbery. After he helped Smith and Shon pack the Yukon at the spot on the West Side, he stayed behind to bag more work while Smith and Shon left to make the run. Soon he heard commotion outside. As he looked out of the window, he saw five hooded men jump out of a van waving pistols and demanding that both Shon and Smith get out of the truck. Shon and Smith refused, so the gunmen forced them out of the truck with gunshots to both the passenger and driver side doors. Shon and Smith exited the van with guns drawn, but hunched over in pain like they had been hit.
As Blood ran out of the apartment building, he could hear multiple gunshots being fired.
Blood exited the building in enough time to see someone jumping into the Yukon and speeding off.
Blood began to shoot at the blacked out van, but it was too late. They were speeding off behind the Yukon.
Smith only suffered wounds to the shoulder and leg. However, Shon suffered fatal wounds to the chest and abdomen.
“We gotta go,” Blood told me as he stood up.
Blood was delirious. He kept saying that we had to leave, but he still stood in the same spot, as if he knew we had to leave, but he didn’t know where we were going to go.
For the first time, I was seeing him in a vulnerable state. He was sweating as tears fell from his eyes.
“Damn. I can’t believe he’s dead,” he cried as he paced inside the pantry. “Shit! Shit! SHIT!!”
“I’ll go get dressed.”
I knew Blood was scared that whoever stuck him up could possibly know about this spot and could be on their way here next. Anything was a possibility considering he couldn’t find out who robbed him until he was able to put his ears to the street.
“I can’t believe this shit!” I heard him say as he entered my bedroom. “Damn, Shon! What the fuck?!”
I was standing in front of my closet snatching outfits off the hangers and stuffing them into a duffle bag in case I wasn’t able to return to my house any time soon.
“Let’s go, babe! You gotta hurry up!”
I simply did as I was told and didn’t ask any questions. I knew that a lot of possibilities and anxieties were running through Blood’s mind. Between the Feds and this, it was a possibility that everything was over for him.
NINE
Thursday, July 23, 2009
LYRIC
I should have been ashamed of myself for the way I grinned when I saw that it was Jelani calling.
I wasn’t surprised to see his call. He has been calling regularly since Sunday morning. Between the two of them, I usually talked with Evette more, but my guilt led me to avoid her calls for the past couple of days.
“Good morning, baby,” Jelani told me before I could say hello.
“Good morning.”
It was nearly six in the morning, the time that I usually get up and start my day. Like clockwork, the on-timer of my television came alive to let me know that it was five minutes to six.
“You’re up early,” I told Jelani.
Jelani works the afternoon shift at a chemical plant in the far west suburbs, so he doesn’t have to wake up this early.
“I wanted to catch you.”
“What’s up?”
“Let’s play hooky today.”
Once again, I was smiling from ear to ear. I have been wondering when I would get Jelani to myself again; if it would ever even happen again. There was something about having sex with him that was intense and intoxicating. There was an intense intimacy between us that I previously omitted from my sex life after Bradley left me.
In addition, I wanted the chance to have him like I wanted him. I couldn’t let go as much as I wanted to when we were outside. I wanted him indoors and to myself so that I could get as buck and wild as I wanted.
“Hmmm,” I said, trying to play hard to get. “What’s in it for me?”
“A day of laying up. We can have a big breakfast, watch movies, have a bigger lunch … Or you can let me eat you for lunch.”
Jelani’s promising words gave me chills of excitement. I hadn’t had such a sensual day off, one full of laziness and lovemaking, since I was engaged to Bradley.
“I don’t know,” I said. “Who said that I had the time to take off?”
“I’ll make it worth it, baby.”
By the time Jelani got to my condo, I had a big breakfast waiting on the dining room table for him. I didn’t really do it for him. I was feeding my need to be submissive to a great man since it has been so long since I had the privilege.
That’s what I missed most about Bradley; the joy I felt catering to someone who took good care of me emotionally, physically, and sexually. He deserved for me to cook, clean, and serve him.
I missed fucking someone who deserved me.
Jelani wasn’t a great man, obviously because of his ability to cheat, nor was he my man. However, for today, just to feed my soul, he was my great man that I would feed, fuck, and suck until my heart was content.
It was funny how Jelani acted like I was already his. It was as if, upon the point of penetration, I agreed to be his possession despite his legal ties to Evette. For me, his presence and penetration replaced a large void that Bradley left, a void so obvious that I accepted Jelani’s direction without protest.
We ate breakfast while every now and then sneaking sexual and appetizing smiles at one another. He seemed undeniably comfortable with me, seemingly satisfied as if, finally, he had me. Once he finished eating, he lifted my bare feet to his lap and began to massage them as I finished my plate.
He continued to massage me as we took our relaxation to the livi
ng room. I turned on the television, but Jelani immediately turned his attention to watch me instead. Since I was aware of his arrival and knew how I wanted this day to go, I bathed with sweet smelling coco mango body scrub and oiled my body with the same fragrance. Then I pulled my hair up into a lazy ponytail and dressed in only a short, skimpy nightgown.
He couldn’t keep his eyes off of me and, admittedly, I couldn’t keep mine off of him. Jelani looked delicious today. Though a sweet smelling man dressed in the freshest labels and brightest jewelry is always appealing, nothing gets my juices flowing like a man in a simple pair of basketball shorts and a white tee. Something about the casualness gives them simplicity that’s inviting. His tattoos gave the moment a rough appeal, but his eyes gave it a sense of love.
“Evette asked me where I was on my way to. I told her that I was going to play basketball,” Jelani explained as if he noticed me noticing him.
“You look good,” I smiled to reassure him.
He seemed content that I was attracted to him no matter what.
Then, it was if he noticed how comfortable he was with me in my surroundings and became nervous. “You think I ain’t shit?”
“How can I think that if I am here with you? I can’t judge you.”
Then he explained himself. “I just like you. There is something about you that fits me.”
“Do you often cheat on Evette?”
Though I would never expect anything out of Jelani and I except sex, I wondered how often he found interest in women other than his wife.
“No,” he immediately answered. “I never have. She’s always been willing to allow me to be involved in her bisexuality, so I’ve never felt like I needed to.”
His statement made me feel uneasy. I wondered why, if hewas telling the truth, I was the first.
“Are you doing it now because you think she’s cheating on you?”
“Hell no. She wouldn’t dare.”
I kept my mouth closed and allowed him to continue. But knowing Evette’s infidelities pushed away the little guilt that was on the surface of this beautiful day and allowed me to relax into him.
Good Girls Ain't No Fun Boxed Set (The SIX romance and urban fiction volumes of the LOVE, SEX, LIES series) Page 28