I was nearly in tears, and my heart was pounding hard and fast.
I thanked God when I heard the knock on the door. I glanced towards the door and saw a figure of a man standing on the other side of the plexiglas.
At first, Greg looked like he was going to ignore it, but as I continued to kick my legs and there was another round of knocks, Greg finally let me go.
He hurried towards the door as I jumped off of the table. When Greg opened the door, regretfully, one of Malik’s other friends and co-worker, Reggie, was standing on the other side. He also knew of me and Malik’s relationship, so he looked back and forth between me and Greg curiously. It was more than obvious that he noticed my troubled look, untamed appearance, and Greg’s heavy breathing. I couldn’t hide my frustration and anxiety as I attempted to fix my clothes and hair.
Reggie continued to look on curiously as he told Greg, “Oh my bad, Fam. I was just coming to get you for lunch. I thought we was ridin’ out.”
“It’s cool,” Greg told him. “We can ride as soon as I take her back to her cell.”
I was so pissed as I walked in front of the both of them. I could have told the authorities, but that would have been pointless. There was a chain of command to file such a complaint that was a mile long, and half of the motherfuckers in that chain of command didn’t give two shits about a guard trying to take some pussy; the other half were the ones taking the pussy themselves.
Nine
Friday, May 13, 2011
VICTORIA
Lately, I had been spending a lot of time at Tricey’s house.
I was sure that she was finding it fishy that I was suddenly so social. Though we have been friends for years, I rarely had the motivation to hang out. I was never the type of person that was interested in doing the “girlie” things. For the most part, I just always wanted to be left alone.
Yet, lately I had such a free feeling coming over me. I often felt like I was flying without wings. Despite the fact that Tricey’s closet was my one and only supplier, I enjoyed spending time with my friend.
Crystal and Lynn always wanted to preach to me; tell me what I was doing wrong and what feelings I was ignoring. Since Tricey grew up with me and knew my secrets, she also knew to leave well enough alone, so I enjoyed the authenticity of her company.
“So what are you wearing tonight?” I stood leaning against the kitchen counter as I watched Sasha, a makeup artist who was also a drag queen, make up Tricey’s face. She was getting good and glammed up for Blood’s party tonight.
And that she better. Tricey told me that every baller in Chicago was going to be at that party, which meant that every money chaser with a pussy was going to be there as well. Therefore, Tricey needed to look her best to outshine the many women that were going to be trying to get her man’s attention.
I also attempted to pull out all stops with my wardrobe so that I could snag me one, two, or, if God was on my side, three of those ballers.
“I don’t know,” Tricey answered with a sigh. “I have a bad ass dress in my closet that I have been dying to have a reason to wear, but I don’t have the right shoes. Blood went shopping to get him something to wear, so I’m hoping he got my hint and got me some shoes too.”
I smiled as she spoke, but jealousy was boiling in the pit of my stomach. It was friendly jealously, though. I mean, I loved the fact that Tricey had someone in her life like Blood, but I would have appreciated it if I could experience the same luxuries at some point in my life.
However, as I stood envying her, she looked miserable.
“What’s your problem?”
Tricey looked at me out of the corner of her eyes as Sasha applied concealer. With a slight sigh, she lied, answering, “Nothing.”
“Have you heard anything from Amiel?”
“He calls me every day.”
“To say what?”
“Trying to find out when he can see Ariana again. He wants her to spend the night with him. He even asked if he could come over to see her.”
“Come over?! Is he crazy?! Doesn’t he know that you have a man?”
“No,” she answered immediately.
“You didn’t tell him?”
“He didn’t ask.”
That shit was fishy. I knew Tricey inside and out. I knew when she was happy, when she was sad, and when she was confused. I knew when she was certain and when she was doubtful. At that moment, I was seeing so many emotions in her. I could tell that on the inside, she was going thru an emotional rollercoaster.
“Do you want him to know that you have a man?”
“It’s not his business,” she spat.
I laughed at her anger. “That shit is so phony, Tricey.”
“What?!”
“You’re just trying to be mean to Amiel because you feel like you have to be.”
“I should be!”
“But you don’t want to be.”
Tricey rolled her eyes as she said, “Anyway, what are you wearing tonight?”
Tonight was supposed to be fun and exciting, so I allowed Tricey to change the subject for now.
“I brought a few options over with me so that I can try them on for you. I need your opinion. I didn’t know what the hell to pick after you put so much damn pressure on me.”
Tricey had given me an earful about how many men were going to be at this party and that I should, therefore, go over and beyond at dressing the part. For the last two years, I hadn’t done much partying. I was really heavily into church at first, and though I don’t go as much anymore, I still hadn’t done that much partying since Lynn was too saved and Crystal was too married to party. Tricey and I hung out every now and then, but hardly at clubs.
“Cool,” Tricey replied with a satisfied nod. “I want you to look sick’ning. I need you to luck up on a boy tonight, or two.” Then she smiled very devilishly.
I rolled my eyes as I replied, “Boys don’t like me.”
The makeup artist giggled as she continued to apply Tricey’s eyeliner. However, Tricey just sighed and shook her head as little as possible to keep from interrupting the makeup artist. Tricey knew my life, so she knew that I really and truly felt like men didn’t like me. She also knew that because of my past and present, there was nothing she could say to me to prove otherwise.
I excused myself before the embarrassment set in. I figured that this was as good a time as any to sneak into Blood’s stash. On the way over here, I told myself that I wouldn’t take any. It had gotten to the point that I was enjoying being high too much, and I was starting to depend on the high to function comfortably. But as the pressure of my reality was brought to the surface just a few moments ago, I quickly wanted to go back to my happy place.
Ariana was fast asleep on her mother’s bed, all dressed, ready to go, and waiting for Tricey’s mother to pick her up. Ariana was spending the weekend with her, giving Blood and Tricey the entire weekend to enjoy this party and Blood’s birthday.
I quickly dove into the closet and in the corner, dug into the shoe box, retrieved my happiness, and headed to the bathroom.
As I locked the door, sat on the toilet, and dipped my fingernail into the powder, it scared me how relieved I felt just knowing that I was about to be high. I dipped my nail into the powder and the touch of it against my skin soothed me. As I inhaled it into my system, I instantly felt calm and relieved.
Just as I was sitting back and allowing the fake ecstasy to come over me, I heard many voices come into the condo. I recognized Blood’s voice, so I quickly hid the stolen two ounces inside of my purse, checked myself in the mirror, wiped my nose, and ducked out as quickly as I had ducked in.
As soon as I walked back into the main area of the condo, eyes were on me. Besides Iyana and Devin, there stood a man that I assumed was an associate of Blood’s that I never saw before. He smiled at me and I damn near felt a lonely butterfly in my stomach. He coupled his sexy grin with enduring eyes that pierced my pussy. I was surprised at my instant attraction
to him. His face wasn’t that pretty, but it was something about his demeanor – cocky, mysterious, and confident – that made him sexually attractive and made me curious.
Tricey’s shrieks interrupted my eye fucking session. I entered the kitchen to find her jumping up and down as she held a pair of shoes.
“You got them for me!!! THANK YOU, BABY!! Look, Vic!”
Blood leaned against the counter looking all too satisfied that he surprised Tricey. “They go good with that dress,” he told her.
“They sure do!” Tricey handed me one of the shoes as she continued to jump up and down.
Without even looking at the shoe, I recognized the Christian Louboutin box and dustbag. My skin crawled with envy as I recognized the shoes. They were the Christian Louboutin $2,295 Daffodile Brodee pumps that Tricey and I had been drooling over for months. It was a multicolor satin shoe with hand finished embroidery. With a 6.3 inch heel, Tricey’s booty was going to stand out like a thoroughbred race horse.
As Tricey continued to squeal in delight, Devin and Iyana entered the kitchen in curiosity as well.
The shoes were hot, but this anonymous guy was hotter. He continued to sit inside the living room at the table eye fucking me, totally ignoring Tricey’s show that she was putting on and totally focusing on me. I surprised myself as I didn’t shy away from his glance, encouraging his flirtation with my own. Usually I suffer such post traumatic stress from my past heartbreaks that I ignore men’s gestures completely, but being high gave me courage to be assertive and flirtatious.
My insecurities usually made me feel like men looked at me in wonder, but coke made me realize that they were looking at me in awe.
A couple of hours later, I was in a “cupid” colored French Connection Knit Dress from Akira.
It hugged my curves spectacularly with its alternating tiers of rib knit bandage detailing and plunging v-neck. It made my ass look good and my “girls” sit up and out, which was why, though it was a hundred and seventy-eight dollars, I bought it anyway. Coupled with a pair of platform stiletto champagne pumps and long flowing hair, you couldn’t tell me nothing as I stood next to Tricey in VIP at Room 25 in downtown Chicago.
Though I hadn’t had my face beat by one of Chicago’s best makeup artist, and though I didn’t have on damn near three thousand dollar shoes, I felt just the same. It was as if I was comfortably marinating in my own skin as Tricey and I danced like nobody else was standing around us.
However, there were tons of people in the VIP area. Blood rented out the entire club, but of course, the bitches were itching to be in VIP where the money was, and the men were following them.
Money was flowing through that motherfucka like the Nile River. From hustlers to businessman, athletes, and even a few local rappers, everybody who was anybody seemed to be at Blood’s birthday party. Lyric made it in about an hour ago with her boyfriend, James, alongside her. She looked pretty in a simple red tube-top dress, black pumps, and black Chanel clutch. Her hair was beautiful and over twenty inches long. I knew that it had to be Indian or Malaysian, some shit from overseas, because Tricey told me how Lyric was who turned her own to expensive hair.
Of course, Lyric ignored me, chatted it up with Tricey for a few, and then she and James found a table on the other side of VIP.
As random club bangers by 2 Chainz, Wale, Lil’ Wayne, and Drake were blasting through the speakers, I felt like I was in a music video. Much like the music videos, women were damn near naked and clapping their asses, trying to get the attention of the men that stood around dressed and draped in the finest. Yet, unlike the music videos, most of these men really had money.
Blood’s friend and I continued to eye fuck each other from across the room. Tricey told me that his name was Derrick and that he buys weight from Blood on a regular. Therefore, he and Blood were simply associates who kicked it at times since they did so much business together. I honestly didn’t care about his specifics, because I wanted him no matter who he was or what he was about. At the moment, his confidence was so tempting to me and was what attracted me to him. He stood on the other side of the room watching me dance alongside Tricey, smiling at me, and daring me to look away from him. I never shied away from his smile. I encouraged his sexual glances by dancing seductively in his direction. I promoted his sexual stares by giving him my own.
The bottles were flowing generously. Not only did Blood buy at least forty bottles of various top shelf liquors, but it seemed like every guy who was a personal friend or associate of Blood’s also bought two and three bottles at a time themselves. Being Blood’s girlfriend kept Tricey taken care of all night. As we danced, she held a bottle of Don Julio that we each drank from as we laughed, danced, and mingled. Yet, I was missing the euphoria and joy that coke gave me. I was coming down off of a high, so I could feel my ecstasy slipping away and my anxiety slipping in.
Liquor made me tipsy and delusional, but coke gave me life.
So, I excused myself to the ladies room.
Luckily, there was a restroom in VIP, so I didn’t have to fight through the crowd of 200-plus to get to the ladies room. There wasn’t a line either, so I slipped into a stall and retrieved my instant party from my wallet. Once again, I used my long acrylic nails to scoop the powder from the bag and to my nose. I inhaled slowly and leaned back against the toilet, awaiting my mind to take flight. I was so content as I waited. Thoughts ran through my mind of how different I felt since I started using. I was so opposite of what I use to be. When I was high, I felt accomplished and optimistic for no damn reason. I was finally experiencing glory without pain.
I no longer wanted to be a victim of my past. I no longer wanted to be sad about the things that I could not change. I no longer wanted to allow my past to effect my present. I was enjoying finally being the survivor that I had yearned to be for years; even if the survival was only present as long as I was high.
Within minutes, my mind started to take off. A calm and serene feeling came over me and my soul relaxed inside of my skin. Just as my mind was starting its own private party, my cell phone rang and the Dj started playing my favorite party song, “No Hands”. Therefore, I quickly exited the stall and headed towards the door as I checked my cell.
It was Vince, surprisingly. Besides seeing one another in the halls at work and totally acting like we didn’t even know each other, I hadn’t heard from Vince since our little talk gone a hot mess outside of the school. I didn’t even wonder or want to know why he was calling. Without a second thought, I ignored the call and dropped the cell into my clutch as I exited the bathroom.
As I hurriedly walked towards the dance floor, I was so into appreciating the absence of pain in my heart that I didn’t even see Derrick standing in front of me. I didn’t notice him until I bumped into his huge chest as I walked aimlessly.
“Oh, I’m so sorry!” As I apologized, I smiled flirtatiously and even licked my lips.
This man, this man, this man; there was just something about him that made me ready. He was dark skinned with a solid athletic build. He put me in the mind of a NBA player; except he was only maybe six feet. He had shoulder length dreads; the top pulled back as the rest hung down. What I noticed the most was his full lips and beautiful lashes. I probably should have paid more attention to the two-hundred dollar jeans, shirt, shoes, and jewelry that ranged in the thousands, but my pussy didn’t care about all of that.
There was just so much sexuality coming from his eyes.
I felt sexual chemistry between us that was chilling.
“Don’t be sorry,” he told me as he continued to stay in close proximity of me. It was like we bumped into each other, and, instead of excusing ourselves, stayed in touch.
We sexually and flirtatiously looked into one another’s eyes. He was one of those men that looked at you like he knew he was going to get the pussy. He might not have known on what date or time, but he looked at me as if he already had my body in the palm of his hands.
As I stood looking s
eductively into this man’s eyes and licking my lips, he reached up, ran the tip of his finger across my nose, and licked his finger.
I was taken back a bit, wondering what the hell he was even doing, but liking his aggression just the same.
Then he smiled at me devilishly. I looked at him curiously as he smiled and told me, “Oh, you like to party, huh?”
I shrank in utter embarrassment as I realized that he had actually gotten coke off of my nose.
Instantly, I was ashamed and crawled into a ball. I stepped away from him and he quickly grabbed my arms and brought me back into him.
“It’s cool,” he insisted. But I wasn’t buying that. I was so ashamed. I wanted to run and hide. I even wanted to cry, and I believe he saw that in my eyes.
“It’s cool, sweetheart. I ain’t judgin’ you. You ain’t the only one that do it. I mean, I don’t …” Then he chuckled. “… But a lot of people do.”
I still wasn’t moved, so I attempted to excuse myself. “Let me go find Tricey. I’m sure she’s looking for me.”
“Well, I’m looking for you too. So who do you want? Me or Tricey?”
My twat twitched every time this man talked to me. I just couldn’t resist. As I stood there contemplating why my body reacted to him in this way, he took me by the hand and led me back towards the dance floor. Once there, we danced next to Blood and Tricey and Lyric and James, who had abandoned their table, was feeling their liquor, and dancing like it. Derrick pressed up against me as if he’d known me for years. There was no respect for my space, nor did I request any. As I smiled and invited this stranger into my personal quarters, Tricey looked at me in surprise. When I would attempt to meet her gaze, he would grab my face and force my attention back on him. Giving me his undivided sexual attention and demanding the same from me.
Good Girls Ain't No Fun Boxed Set (The SIX romance and urban fiction volumes of the LOVE, SEX, LIES series) Page 62