However, since I knew that that preacher was also a child molester, it didn’t surprise me one bit.
“It’s okay,” I told Dr. Hupert. “You can speak freely.”
The bitch in me wanted Jesse to know what his actions had driven me to. I wanted this doctor to tell this room of people that my blood was tainted so that I can also tell them who had a hand in making my life so fucked up that I needed to powder my nose to make it through the day.
“We need other donors. Victoria’s blood isn’t a match.”
Jesse was shaking his head shamefully before the doctor even completed his sentence. I chuckled on the inside, thinking how ironic it was that his second attempt at a family was also fucked up, because his expression told us all that he already knew that me and Jahleel’s blood wouldn’t match.
But Jesse’s wife kept her character, looking as if it was news to her.
However, before she continued her charade, I figured it was more important that we take care of Jahleel; not focus on how or why Jesse wasn’t Jahleel’s biological father.
“Then his mother can donate,” I said, seemingly simplifying the issue.
“Yes,” the doctor answered. “We should also take blood from Mr. Brown as well.”
When Jesse answered, “Sure”, Lynn and I shot each other curiously stunned looks.
“Wait a minute,” I told the doctor. “If my blood isn’t a match, how can he donate?”
Jesse, taking it upon himself to answer for the doctor, then showed me more compassion than he ever had in his life.
For once, he looked at me as a caring father would, not the evil villain that he used to be. “Vic, I’m sorry, but I’m not your father.”
TRICEY
“Tricey, I’m telling you, if this nigga is cheating on me, all hell is going to break loose!”
I laughed as I listened to Lyric fuss through my car speakers. I was on my way home from a long days work. Ariana was in the back seat talking some gibberish to her baby doll.
“Ain’t no reason for this motherfucka to cheat on me! He got it made. Any pussy he wants, he can get it, if I oblige. He got pussy on the side and pussy alongside mine sometimes, so why?!”
“I’m confused. How is he cheating if you all have an open relationship anyway?”
“We don’t have an open relationship.” Lyric spoke as if I just insulted her. “We are swingers. There is a big difference.”
Lyric and her boyfriend James were indeed swingers. Lyric has always been one for a variety of sex; same sex partners, threesomes, etc. In the same sense, James always preferred to be a single man with his choice of pussy. When Lyric and James met, it was like Frick and Frack finally meeting and falling in love. They were the yin to each other’s yang. Lyric had finally found a man that loved her, knowing every part of her - including the wild sexual side. James had finally found the perfect woman that allowed him to have all that extra pussy while being “committed” to one.
However, James seemed to be the only one swinging in their relationship. The more the relationship continued, the less Lyric was interested in any sex that didn’t have anything to do with James. She still had threesomes with him, which included another woman, but it was usually because of his interest, not hers.
“He still gets to sleep with who he wants to, so how is he cheating?”
“Because he is lying to me! If it’s a woman that we have discussed him being with, cool. But the motherfucka has gotten cocky. He think he got shit sweet because I have been giving him this perfect life. Now the motherfucka thinks he can do what he wanna do. He has gotten disrespectful. He is being secretive and sneaky. My woman’s intuition is on level fifty!”
“So what do you think he’s up to?”
“I think he got a girl on the side that is outside of this lifestyle, which is a no-no. Having a vanilla woman on the side means that she don’t know anything about me, and that is definitely a no-no. Secondly, Raven is getting out of hand. She thinks that she is James’ woman just as much as I am. I think he is with her more than he says he is. And if I find out that that son of a bitch is seeing Raven behind my back, I promise you- I promise you, beau beau- it’s on and poppin’!”
I giggled as Lyric continued to rant and rave.
Raven was like a thorn in Lyric’s side. Raven is a regular that James sees on the side. Basically, as far as I see it, James has two girlfriends and the other one is Raven. Though Raven has full knowledge of Lyric, she has claimed that she is not a swinger but open to the lifestyle. Lyric and I feel that Raven is just comfortable with sharing a man. Lyric never liked Raven. She just put up with Raven because she didn’t want to risk losing James by giving him an ultimatum.
However, Lyric was always on edge when it came to Raven because it’s obvious that James has feelings for Raven, since she is more permanent in James’ life; unlike the other women that come and go. Though Lyric is who James is in love with and lives with, Raven was always plan “b” and had been for a year.
As Lyric spoke of ways to figure out what James was up to, I turned down my block and literally felt my face getting hot when I saw Amiel’s car in my driveway.
“Oh my God.”
Lyric was too busy ranting and raving to even hear my sudden discomfort. Thankfully, Blood’s car was nowhere to be seen, but he could have pulled up at any moment.
“I can’t believe this shit.”
“Can’t believe what?”
“Amiel is in front of my house.”
“Oooooo,” Lyric replied, exemplifying my own shock.
I knew what Amiel wanted. I hadn’t returned any of his calls since having sex with him. Once I found out that Star’s new trial was granted, my eyes were opened to the amazing things that Blood does for me. I had since decided to commit to being the same amazing partner in return.
I planned on calling Amiel back once I figured out how to tell Blood that I wanted Amiel to be an active part of Ariana’s life.
The text messages and voicemails that Amiel was leaving me after we had sex suggested that he thought that that sex was the beginning of “us”. So, I was also trying to figure out how to tell Amiel that, though the sex was off the chain, it was the very last time that it was going to happen because I had a boyfriend.
“Handle that and call me back,” Lyric said before hanging up.
I was livid as I parked my car in front of my building. I was even more upset that I had to park in front of the building, rather than in the garage, because this dude had the nerve to be parked in my driveway!
I damn near left Ariana in the car, jumping out of the car so quickly and arriving at the curb before realizing that she was still in the back seat.
As I retrieved her from the car, I heard Amiel’s footsteps behind me. When I turned around and closed the door, he literally took Ariana out of my arms.
I immediately began yelling in response. “Excuse you! What the fuck are you doing?!”
“Didn’t I tell you to stop playing these games with my daughter?!”
Amiel was so hostile that I actually got scared. He was shouting so loudly that I was sure that people outside and inside of their homes could hear him.
“I’m not playing games with you, Amiel,” I attempted to ensure him. I was speaking in a calm and logical tone. I didn’t want to argue with him. I simply wanted to get him away from this condo as fast as possible.
“Tricey, you full of shit! You’re playing with my head and it ain’t cool. One minute, you letting me see my daughter, and then you’re not. One minute you’re fucking me and sucking my dick, and now you won’t even answer the phone! I can’t even see my daughter without you being there supervising me. This is some bullshit and I’m tired of it.”
Then, this motherfucka just walked away, towards his car, with my daughter!
“Where are you going?!”
“To go spend some time with my daughter,” he told me as if he had all rights to.
“She can’t go with you right now.”
Amiel turned and looked at me with his eyes full of annoyance. “Why not?! What is the problem?! Why is this so hard, Tricey?! I thought we came to an understanding the other night.”
I was speechless, stuttering over my words as I couldn’t think of the right things to say.
“Exactly,” Amiel said with a smack of his lips. “You’re full of shit.” Then, once again, he turned around as if he was just going to pull off with my daughter.
In response, I reached for Ariana and attempted to take her out of his arms. In return, he looked at me like I was crazy. We struggled back and forth, tugging at Ariana like she was doll. She began to cry in response.
Amiel was able to overpower me, so much so that I stumbled over a plant that lined the driveway and fell to the ground.
As I attempted to stand, headlights blinded me. I recognized the color and make of the car. Realizing that it was Blood, my heart sank in disappointment.
This couldn’t have happened at a worse time. I hadn’t talked to Blood much since last night. I was so mad about that coke being in my house that I hadn’t said more than two words to him since.
As I watched Blood get out of the car, it felt like my world was ending. Amiel looked on curiously, wondering who had arrived.
Of course, because the scene looked so suspect, Blood jumped out of the car, piece in hand. I saw and recognized the anger in him. I was scared for myself and scared for Amiel.
However, when he saw Ariana in Amiel’s arms, it was as if Blood recognized their likeness. In response, his anger turned to sorrow. He looked as if I just tore his heart out of his chest. It made me feel worse to see such a rough exterior look so sad because of me.
“Baby…” I called out for Blood, but his eyes told me to just shut the fuck up. When I greeted Blood in that way, Amiel looked at me like I was the scum of the earth and he had finally figured out the source of my games.
I was shocked when Blood wouldn’t even help me off of the ground. I was even more shocked that he was back in his car by the time I stood up.
I knew better than to attempt to chase Blood. I knew his temper. I knew how he reacted when he was mad. The fact that he thought so low of me not to say anything, not to help me when it looked like this man had been aggressive with me, let me know that Blood was beyond upset.
My eyes filled with tears as he drove away.
“Humph,” Amiel said with a smirk. “So this the type of shit you on?”
“Fuck you, Amiel!”
“You did, remember? And apparently you’re fuckin’ everybody else too. That’s not a good example for my daughter.”
“I thought you were leaving?”
“Figures…”
“Amiel, fuck you! Just leave! I am so sick of you fucking up shit in my life! You never had the balls to allow my presence to mess up anything in your household, but you have the audacity to show up at my house and fuck up mine?!”
“Shit, you shoulda told me that you had a man!”
“I don’t have to tell you anything! I don’t owe you shit but what you’re holding!”
I was crying by now. I was so outdone and upset that when Amiel got in his car with my daughter, I didn’t even attempt to stop him.
As he started his car and pulled out of the driveway, I gave up and walked towards my building. Once again, I allowed Amiel to affect my life way more than he deserved to, and that pissed me off even more.
I entered my building and checked my phone, hoping that Blood had called or text messaged me.
He hadn’t.
As I walked to my condo, I started to call him a few times, but decided against it each time because I didn’t know what to say to him. I knew that I hurt him, and that made my tears flow even more.
My tears weren’t because of Amiel. I didn’t give a fuck about what he thought of me. I was crying because I hurt the one man, the only single solitary man, that never hurt me.
Seventeen
Friday, May 27, 2011
VICTORIA
I can’t believe that son of a bitch said that he was sorry.
Sorry? He’s sorry that he isn’t my father, as if being my father was such a joy that finding out that he wasn’t would sadden me?!
I chuckled at Jesse’s audacity as I rode the highways. I was going nowhere in particular. I was just driving.
It was one o’clock in the morning. I just left Lynn’s house. After leaving the hospital, I took a Valium and sat on her back porch thinking. She allowed me to sit there without disturbing me.
Once Jesse made that announcement, I got up and got out of there. I no longer cared about Jahleel’s recovery. I simply wanted to completely wash my hands of that family. And now that Jesse wasn’t my father, I could do that without the feeling of guilt.
Admittedly, I was fighting back anger, rage, and wonder. I wanted to be upset that my mother never told me.
I wanted to be upset that she was so dead and gone that I couldn’t ask her.
I wanted to be upset that Jesse was still an abusive asshole, so I didn’t have the stomach to ask him, therefore I would probably never know who my real father is.
I wanted to wonder and care about who my real father was and if he knew of me.
Yet, instead of being angry, asking questions, or caring, I called Derrick.
He answered quickly. “Hello?”
“Hey you.”
“Don’t ‘hey you’ me,” he replied with a false attitude.
I immediately told him, “I’m sorry. I’ve been busy.”
Suddenly, my tone was that of a sexual nature. I was purring into the phone with persuasion.
“Where have you been?”
I answered, “I’ve been really busy with family stuff.”
“I thought I would have seen you again by now. Don’t you need more? You must feel like shit.”
I flirted in response. “Yes, baby. I sure do need more of you,” knowing full well what he was really asking if I missed.
“Where are you?”
“On my way to you.”
“C’mon.”
I hung up with a devilish grin and started driving at warp speeds.
I know that, instead, I should have been on my way home to Vince, who was waiting on me with loving and open arms. I know that, instead, I should have been figuring out a way to deal with my pain and confusion. Yet, just knowing that I was on my way to my happy place made everything so much better.
I arrived at Derrick’s house in minutes. I hopped out of the car and jogged up the steps of his front porch in seconds.
I knocked rhythmically on the front door. Soon, lights came on and I could hear him unlocking the door.
On sight, he hugged me as if he missed me, and I hugged him as if I missed it. I eagerly searched the living room for the ounces of coke that he usually hooked me up with. There, on the living room table, they sat; waiting for me like Santa came down the chimney early this year just for me.
As I walked into the living room, Derrick followed me, with his hands on my hips and kissing me on the back of my neck along the way. I didn’t even feel him. My mind was so focused on getting high that it was like Derrick wasn’t even there.
I sat so eagerly at the table that I got embarrassed. Though Derrick was looking at me pleasingly, I didn’t want to do this in front of him.
“Can you give me a minute? Go do something.”
Derrick got the hint and, as he walked out of the living room, told me that he would be in his bedroom waiting for me.
As I made multiple lines of cocaine on the table, I knew that I was handling this the wrong way. I knew that I should have been trying to fix this in a more suitable fashion.
But it hurt to even think or wonder.
Even thinking about the possibility of drawing out the stupidity and embarrassment of my past gave me a nauseating feeling that the Valium didn’t take away, but I knew would be gone no sooner than I inhaled.
I didn’t want to be this unfortunate person
. I didn’t want to be this woman that hurt. I no longer wanted to be an abused little girl.
As I took line after line after line, I yearned to be normal; to function in peace and serenity like everyone else. I yearned to live life without a monkey on my back.
As my mind began to sail, I made more lines.
My hands began to clamp as I inhaled each and every last one of them.
I began to feel serene as I made more lines and inhaled them too.
My heart started to race.
My breath became short and I started to feel faint.
Then, everything fell dark. I couldn’t feel anything, nor could I see anything, but I heard everything.
I heard the thud as my body hit the floor.
I could hear the sound of things falling from the table and onto the floor along with me.
I could hear Derrick running into the room and calling my name over and over again.
Every time he said my name, his voice sounded further and further away.
I slowly started to slip out of consciousness just as that monkey jumped off of my back and ran away.
IYANA
I rolled my eyes and shook my head as Derrick walked into the office.
I took it upon myself to let Devin do the fussing. I was already seen as a bitch in the unit as soon I wasn’t smiling or agreeing, so I chose to keep my comments to myself.
“You’re late,” Devin told him.
In response, Derrick smiled mischievously, “I had a long night.”
With the same irritation that I was trying to hide, Devin shook his head.
Derrick acted like he didn’t have a clue as to what was wrong; carrying this smug and arrogant smirk. “What?”
“You really need to stop fucking that girl, man. We’re supposed to be doing a job,” Devin told him.
But as always, Derrick rebutted. “One has nothing to do with the other.”
“We suppose to be getting evidence on them- not fuck their friends.”
“What? You and Iyana get to act like y’all fucking, but I can’t have no fun?” Again, he was smirking sarcastically.
I couldn’t take anymore. I hissed and smacked my lips. “You ain’t shit.”
Good Girls Ain't No Fun Boxed Set (The SIX romance and urban fiction volumes of the LOVE, SEX, LIES series) Page 69