Good Girls Ain't No Fun Boxed Set (The SIX romance and urban fiction volumes of the LOVE, SEX, LIES series)

by Jessica Watkins

  As Cory continued to cry, I tried to be a friend without scolding him. “It’s okay, baby. We all fall hard for the liars and manipulators. You have to pick yourself up and dust yourself off. Forget him. You can find a new man.”

  “But I want him. I love him.”

  “But he’s playing games with you. Cory, this man is going to drive you crazy if you don’t leave him.”

  In response, I could only hear Cory’s tears.

  I laid in the darkness with my heart going out to Cory. He sounded pathetic, like an idiot who couldn’t see the proof in the pudding. He sounded like he was in love.

  Fifteen

  Sunday, September 23, 2012

  Victoria

  Sunday afternoon Taij and I had brunch.

  He had been trying to take me out for drinks ever since I got back from Puerto Vallarta. He said that, after that trip, he was sure that I needed it. However, our schedules kept conflicting, so he decided to have brunch with me and DeSire at this little restaurant up north instead.

  DeSire sat between us in the most adorable pink ruffle dress. She had two pig tails that were decorated with pink ribbon. She looked so cute and exactly like her father, who sat beside her helping her eat so that she wouldn’t get pancakes all over her clothes.

  DeSire and I had just come from church. In addition to the fact that Lynn, my friend and coworker, had been begging me to come, I needed to be there.

  I was still in a weird mood. Being with Taij was only making my mood worse. I was on an emotional rollercoaster. When I was high, I was good! But as the high came down, I realized what a void there was in my social life since Greg stopped talking to me.

  After he ignored one too many of my text messages, I stopped attempting to reach out to him. He never reached out to me. I understood his plight and couldn’t fault him, but I missed him so much. Being at brunch with Taij only made that void more evident. I had a comfort level with Taij that I only experienced with Vince and was beginning to feel with Greg. Though it was my decision to end my relationship with Vince, I missed what we had so much and felt that longing immensely whenever I allowed myself to.

  I still saw Vince from time to time at Kraton High during football season. I heard through the grapevine that he was engaged to his baby’s mother. I was happy for him. I knew that, despite what most men want, Vince craved a woman to come home to. I also knew that I wasn’t in the right mind to give him that. Yet, there was a large insensitive and selfish part of me that wanted to be the bad guy that stuck it out with him to make him wait until I was.

  “Anymore run-ins with Lyric?”

  I shook my head as I sipped my Mimosa. “I never see her until Tricey has an event that she wants us both to attend. She never even comes to the boutique if she knows that I’m there.”

  Taij shook his head and frowned like he was so disgusted. “That’s crazy. I don’t get what the big deal is.”

  “Well, I kinda slept with, started dating, and had a baby with my best friend’s ex-baby daddy.”

  “But Tricey was fourteen at the time. You and I were years later.”

  “I told you that, to Tricey, you alls relationship was a lot deeper than you thought of it. That girl was in love with you for years after you left. Eventually, she understood that you and her was teenage puppy love compared to the family that you and I made, but Lyric never got that. She feels like I committed the ultimate betrayal.”

  Taij rolled his eyes as he said, “She needs to get over it.”

  “At this point, it doesn’t matter. I use to care. I use to want to be her friend again and be the crew that me, her, and Tricey use to be, but she has been so ultimately messy and disrespectful that I don’t even like her as a person anymore.”

  STAR

  At first, I thought I scared DeShawn away. After that Tuesday, I didn’t hear from him again. I thought that I had gone too far standing up to him. Yet, on Thursday, my phone rang yet again and, surprisingly, we had spent every day together since.

  Though he was making attempts to hold conversations and be more open with me, tension was still between us.

  I figured that until we faced the elephant in the room and talked about what happened, there will always be tension between us.

  No matter how much he hung out with me, he still took me to hotels; never to his place. We were always secluded. He never took me around people that he knew.

  Of course I understood his caution and couldn’t blame him.

  Yet, I made him keep his money. Despite the fact that his intentions were still unknown, I didn’t like feeling like a paid whore when I was with him. I wanted him to see me in the raw and know that, unlike the last phase in our relationship, I had no interest in his money.

  As I lay on his chest in the king sized bed while he flipped the channels, I noticed that it was almost seven o’clock. I had a show that night. Since I no longer had to hide from DeShawn, and since he was taking up so much of my time that I was taking very few clients, I decided to do a show with Keesha that was another guaranteed money maker.

  DeShawn looked at me curiously as I sat up. “Where you goin’?”

  “To hop in the shower. Me and Keesha have a show tonight.”

  With confusion in his face, he asked me, “You’re still dancing?”

  I answered, “I haven’t been. But I am tonight.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I need to make money. You do remember that I work for change at a grocery store, right? And you take up so much of my time that I haven’t had a private show in days.”

  “What I give you isn’t enough?”

  “It is. You aren’t work to me, though. I told you that I don’t want your money anymore, DeShawn.”

  I looked him in the eyes as I spoke. I wanted him to see my sincerity and truth.

  He continued to look like he wanted to argue with me, but I looked at him like I dared him to argue with me about leaving. Again, I was putting him in the position to either act like a man who cared for me or act like the man he was fronting to be, like he was just there to fuck.

  Eventually, his eyes wandered back to the television, but I could see that something was on his mind.

  “Lay back down,” he told me, with no emotion and without even making eye contact with me. “Don’t go to that show. No more stripping and no more escorting. It’s not necessary.”

  Tricey

  Presently, my head was resting back on Damion’s couch while his hands made good sweet love to my French manicured feet.

  For the first time in the last week, my mind was at ease and I could feel some sense of bliss.

  I know that I said that I was done with Damion. But after I found out the real story about Devin, Derrick, and Iyana, I figured why deny myself when Blood obviously took it upon himself to choose to be loyal to me when he wanted to.

  I still didn’t know what I was going to do about this baby situation. That argument with Blood seemed to only intensify his desire for me to have it and my determination to figure out how to get rid of it.

  I still had no interest in telling Damion. I didn’t feel like it was necessary.

  To make it all temporarily go away, I lay there enjoying Damion’s hands on my feet as the breeze blew in from the opened balcony door. Slow jamz played in the background as he stared intensely at the Bears game. I longed to relive days like this in my relationship. I couldn’t remember the last time a man rubbed my feet. I would have given anything to have a simple relationship filled with moments like this; sports, beer, and quality time- rather than drugs, murder, and keep-a-nigga babies.

  I didn’t even know that there were still men out there with everything you could ask for; caring, attractive, and wealthy.

  I was beginning to feel so torn. When I was initially just upset about Mauri, Blood had thrown something in the mix that I could not ignore. I had always told Blood that I never wanted to be involved in anything that would land me in jail. When my sister got put in prison, I was taught that the
same thing happening to me, because of my association with Blood, was very possible.

  I wanted to be with my man. I wanted my family to stay intact, but he was making it so hard for me to forgive and forget. Mauri was one thing, but murdering cops is another. Since Tuesday, Blood seemed to be floating through life with no worries. He had not a care in the world, while I was waiting for the Feds to come knocking on the door to arrest him at any second.

  Apparently, he had it all sewn up, but what he didn’t have sewn up was this relationship that was ripping apart at the seams. I was uncomfortable, and I didn’t like that uneasy feeling one bit. When I was at home, there were mounds of anxiety putting constant pressure on my heart. Yet, when I was with Damion, I was shown new things that I didn’t know were available to me anymore. I thought I could never find another man that I was attracted to, that could take care of me and my daughter, and that loved me unconditionally.

  Damion was showing me that, though I didn’t know if the grass was greener on the other side, hell, at least there was some grass over there.

  Sixteen

  Thursday, September 27, 2012

  Victoria

  “Me, Taij, and DeSire went to brunch the other day. I really liked being out with him. Not him, per say. But being out with someone along with my daughter and having some sense of a family unit.”

  With bulging eyes and a smile, Dr. Peterson looked at me with approval. She sat near me in the soft leather chair and looked as casual as I did; jeans and a t-shirt. It was cool to see her so laid back. I felt like I was talking to one of my girlfriends.

  I smiled bashfully. “What?”

  “You mean you actually liked the feeling of being in a relationship?”

  “Not a relationship, but family. There is a big difference. You can be in a relationship, boyfriend and girlfriend, but there is a difference when there is history and kinship.”

  “How so?”

  “There is a deeper level of loyalty. It’s like your mother, father, or siblings. They can piss you off, disappoint you, or whatever, but you will always love and respect them because they are family.”

  “And you want the kind of relationship that makes you feel like you will always be loved and respected.”

  “Right.”

  “But you have to give someone the chance to build that kind of relationship with you.”

  I sighed as I sipped from my large Dunkin Donuts coffee. “True.”

  “So what about Taij?”

  “What about him?”

  “Do you want to be a family with him?”

  Confidently, I replied, “I use to. It took me years to get over him. I was really bitter.”

  “And now?”

  “Those feelings are gone. I’m not bitter anymore. Thank God.”

  “Those feelings are gone but you still harbor these ill feelings against committed relationships, partly because of what he did to you.”

  “I don’t want him though.”

  “But how will you move on if you don’t let go of these ill feelings that you are harboring? Have you ever told Taij how he made you feel?”

  I thought about it long and hard. I thought about the day that I learned that he had given me an STD, and about how I felt a few days later when I found out that he was fucking my friend. I remembered changing the locks and shutting him out. I remembered being so pissed at him that I didn’t speak to him for months. Then I remembered how, when I finally started back speaking to him, I was so angry that we got into an argument every time he tried to communicate with me. When he moved back to Chicago, I remembered longing for him and wishing that we were together. Then I remembered when he got engaged so suddenly.

  “No. Never,” I replied.

  “So you never gave him a chance to fix it?”

  “At the time, when it happened, I didn’t want him to fix it. I didn’t want to be with him.”

  “I think you should have that conversation with him. Let him fix it.”

  “Why? It’s too late. I don’t want him, so for what?”

  “For you, Vic.”

  LYRIC

  The round of knocks on my office door startled me.

  I had been confined in my office all day trying to meet a deadline. I had been so busy that I hadn’t even been able to eat. I was starving as I longed for five o’clock to hurry up and show up, though I was sure that I would have to put in a few hours of overtime.

  That made me sad because Marcel wanted to take me to dinner that night. About an hour ago, he called, sweeping me off of my feet, whispering sweet nothings into my ear. This man was so in tune with me that he could hear the distress in my voice even though I attempted to mask it in order to enjoy the few moments of bliss in my day that hearing his voice gave me.

  He had a fit when I told him that I had been cooped up in that office all day with no break.

  “Come in.”

  I didn’t even bother to look up to see who was coming in. I knew that it was probably my boss or a faculty member to ensure that I was busting my ass to submit this grant on time.

  However, a familiar smell came over me; tickling my nose and arousing me. I looked up from the computer to see my baby, my Daddy, my King.

  “Hey baby!” I was purring like a kitten. I was so damn happy to see Marcel. It scared me how much I loved him, but I embraced the love and the fear.

  I stood and quickly moved to hold him, but before I could get to him, he had gotten to me. He kissed me so lovingly and held me in the most protective embrace.

  “What are you doing here? I thought you had a meeting.”

  “You’re hungry,” he answered as he sat a familiar bag on my desk.

  It was Pintacanas. My favorite restaurant located up north.

  “When did you have time to go to Pintacanas? I thought you were at home.”

  “I was.”

  My heart melted. To some women, it’s probably not a big deal for a man to travel across town despite his busy schedule to get her her favorite food. But I appreciated the significance of the little things.

  Most men wouldn’t even think that deep to do such a thing.

  That’s why I loved Marcel so much. Beyond financially, he took care of me.

  “What is this?”

  I had reached into the bag as he sat across from my desk. Though he had gone to my favorite place, he hadn’t gotten the usual steak tacos that I love.

  “Shrimp and spinach enchiladas. They’re good.”

  I was too hungry to care but embraced the chance at yet another new experience with Marcel. He was always doing that to me. Daddy liked to teach me something new; whether it was taking me to a new place, feeding me new foods, or trying a new activity.

  Marcel watched me so closely as I ate. He smiled with such satisfaction as it looked like I actually enjoyed this new taste that he’d provided for me.

  He was always so happy to know that he had given me something that I enjoyed that I never had before.

  Even sexually, he was just as much as the adventurist teacher; teaching me new positions, bringing my climax to heights that it had never reached before.

  Whether sexually or otherwise, he loved deflowering his little girl.

  Marcel left after about fifteen minutes, so my head was back amongst a shitload of paper work when my cell phone started to ring.

  It was Cory. Since I had been worried about him because of this whole Kadeem situation, I answered, despite the fact that I needed to be working on this grant so that I could get out of here and to my man, who was waiting on me with a hard dick.

  “Hey, babe.”

  “Hey, honey.”

  Cory sounded a hell of a lot better than he did the other night when he called, so that was good.

  “What’s the T? Are you feeling better?”

  With a sigh, he answered, “Not really, but I will be.”

  “Are you still spying on him?”

  “Yep!”

  “Oh my God.”

  “Oh shut
up!”

  “I don’t understand how you can stomach reading these text messages.”

  “I can’t, girl,” he confessed. “I hate watching my man talk to somebody else with the same emotion and love that he talks to me.”

  “Damn,” I said with a sigh.

  “Ain’t that the truth? I have narrowed down what and who he is doing by reading these messages. Besides me and his wife, he goes out with this one guy every now and then. Sounds like they are into each other but they haven’t had sex with. I don’t think the guy knows that Kadeem is married. Then there is some motherfucker named Brian. Sounds like they have some kind of booty call relationship.”

  “All of this while he goes home to his wife every night.”

  “Yep.”

  “That is a hot ass mess. What are you going to do, Cory? Are you going to keep messing with him while he is obviously living multiple lives?”

  With a very heavy sigh, he answered, “I want to, but every time I think about leaving, I literally get sick. I love him, girl. You seen how fine he is! Who could walk away from that?!”

  We both giggled lustfully as he continued. “Girl, I can’t be upset about him being married. I knew that he was married when we started dating. Yes, it hurts that he keeps lying to me about his feelings for her, but men will be men. They just lie for no damn reason. However, I will get rid of these little extra motherfuckas he got on the side. I will be the only man in his life. Point blank and the period.”

  I wanted to tell Cory that he sounded batshit crazy. I wanted to tell him that he was desperate and willing to play second string when he was worth so much more than that. Then I realized that, hell, Cory was only saying what most women think, but are too shame to say out loud.