by Dena Christy
He walked into the house, and Rickman was there waiting for him.
"Are you sure about this?" Rickman appeared to be even more anxious about tonight than he was.
"It has to be tonight. The Hunter's Moon will not wait for me to find a perfect time to tell her. Do you have everything prepared?"
"Yes. I got the food from the restaurant, and it's heating now. The dining room is laid, and everything is ready. Are you going to want me to serve?"
"No. I can do that. You can make yourself scarce for the evening." Andor turned away from Rickman and made his way up the stairs. The door to his bedroom was closed, and he assumed that Lyssa was in there getting ready. He hurried down the hall to a spare room where he had left the clothes he would wear tonight. He hurried through his shower, and quickly dressed. He wanted to make sure he had enough time to have the food waiting for Lyssa when she arrived in the dining room at seven.
With Rickman’s help he managed to get the food they would be eating in the dining room with five minutes to spare. Rickman took his leave, telling him that he would be in his room if Andor needed him. He barely heard him, as he sat waiting for Lyssa to arrive.
It was the longest five minutes of his life, and in that short span of time he had almost gone in search of Rickman to get him to tell Lyssa that the evening had been cancelled. Never before in his life had be felt this much uncertainty, but nothing in his life had been as important as this night. He sat up straighter when the sounds of Lyssa’s footsteps outside the dining room came to him. He stood up and waited for her to walk in the room.
His blood thrummed in his veins when he saw her framed in the doorway. He’d never seen her looking as beautiful as she did tonight, and all the anxiety and doubt he’d been feeling melted away. This was Lyssa, the woman he loved and wanted to cherish above all else. She was an understanding person, and once he told her the truth about himself, things would be fine.
“Andor, everything looks wonderful. Is this a special occasion?” She took a step into the dining room and looked around, as the candlelight bathed her creamy skin in a warm glow. He strode forward and took her by the arm.
“I hope it will be. I have something that I want to talk to you about.” He led her to the table and pulled out a chair for her. Once he was sure she was comfortably seated, he walked around to his chair opposite her. He poured them both a glass of wine, and he resisted the urge to down his. Perhaps there were still few nerves lurking inside him.
“What do you want to discuss?” She looked at him over the rim of her wine glass as she took a sip. Should he tell her now? Perhaps it would be better to tell her after the meal, when she’d had good food and a few glasses of wine to relax her. It might make her more receptive to the momentous truth he needed to reveal.
“It can wait until after we eat. There will be plenty of time for us to talk once dinner is finished.” Andor lifted the sliver domes off the various dishes that had been prepared. He didn’t know if he was going to be able to eat, but wanted to make a good show of it. He had to be as relaxed as possible, since Lyssa was sensitive enough to sense something was wrong. He didn’t want her to feed off his anxiety when he told her the truth. That would almost guarantee a bad outcome.
“Can you give me a little hint?” Lyssa smiled shyly at him as she put food on her plate. Andor stared at that smile for a long moment, and resisted the urge to get up and walk around the table to pull her in his arms. There would be plenty of time to hold her after he told her the truth, and if he obeyed the urges she was stirring inside him the discussion they needed to have would not happen tonight.
“All I will tell you is that I want to talk about the future.” He put food on his plate in order to distract himself from what he wanted to do with her.
“Does that future include me?” There was a tiny flicker in her eyes, one he suspected was hope.
“All will be revealed after we eat. Please, enjoy your food and do not worry about what we are going to talk about.” He took a bite of his food in order to encourage her to do the same.
He did not have much of an appetite but went through the motions of eating for her sake. She followed suit and she closed her eyes for a moment as she slowly chewed her first bite. The enjoyment on her face was obvious, and Andor ran his finger inside the collar of his shirt. He would never get through the meal without taking her upstairs if he did not suppress what she made him feel.
“The food is delicious. Did you make this?” She smiled over at him as she took a sip from her wine glass. He could lie and say that he had, but then she might want him to cook for her again, and she would learn just what a disaster he was in the kitchen.
“It would not be edible if I had cooked it. It was made by a favorite restaurant of mine. It was the one I wanted to take you to the night—” He broke off. The last thing he wanted to do tonight was remind her of Kevin, but she appeared to pick up on what he’d left unsaid.
“The night that Kevin vandalized my house. Don’t worry about talking about it. It happened and the only thing I feel about that incident now is gratitude to you for being there for me when I needed you. I hope that I can return the favor to you someday, and be there for you when you need me.”
Her words moved him and gave him hope that they would have a future together. They continued their meal and they made small talk about unimportant things. When it was time for coffee and desert Andor decided that he could no longer put off the inevitable. Lyssa had finished last of her wine, and she set her glass aside. He reached across the table and took her hand.
“I was going to wait until we’d had coffee and desert to talk to you, but I do not want to put this off any longer. Why don’t we go into the lounge and talk?” He didn’t want to have this discussion with her with a table in between them. He wanted her sitting close to his side, where he could touch her and reassure her that he was the same man he had always been.
“Okay.” She pushed her chair back and stood. He got out of his quickly and went around the table to lead her to the lounge, which was directly across from the dining room.
They sat together on one of the sofa’s and he was close enough to her that his thigh rested against hers as he took her hand and kissed it.
“I have something that I need to tell you. Something about myself that I have hidden from you. I want to have a future with you, I want you to stay here with me but in order to do that there is something you need to know about me.”
That was as far as he got, because how could he tell her that he was a dragon in a way that would not be like launching a firestorm into the center of the room. No matter how he expressed it, it would be a shock to her system. He only hoped that she would recover quickly and accept him for who and what he was.
“Andor, what is it? I’m sure that whatever it is that you have to tell me, I’ll understand. I want to have a future with you too, and there is nothing that will make me change my mind about that.” She stroked his hand and gave him an encouraging smile.
The fact that she wanted a future with him was encouraging, but it would remain to be seen it that was the case when she learned that he was not an ordinary man. There was no backing out now. The only way to break the news to her was to come out and say it.
“Lyssa, I’m a dragon.”
16
A dragon? Was that code for something? Lyssa looked at Andor for a long moment, unable to comprehend what he was talking about. She must have misheard him, because he couldn't possibly mean what she thought he'd said. He'd never struck her as mentally unstable, so he must not be talking about real dragons.
"I didn't hear you correctly. I swear I just heard you say dragon." She laughed and expected Andor to join in. He didn't. His face remained the same, his expression earnest as he held her hand and waited for her to quiet.
"That is what I said. I am a dragon, Lyssa."
There was a quiet sincerity about him, which told her that he believed what he was saying. Perhaps he meant something other th
an what she thought he meant. She didn't know what it could be, but there had to be a reasonable explanation for all this, one she wasn't getting. It was impossible that he meant he was a literal dragon. Dragons were the stuff of ancient tales and legends. They didn't exist in real life.
"What exactly does this mean?" Was he talking about some sort of organization, that called themselves dragons? Could this be the secret that she'd sensed since she'd come into this house? If it was a secret organization she'd never heard of it. She only hoped that was what he was talking about, since the alternative was unthinkable.
His expression faltered for a split second, and he tightened his hand on hers. His grip was not tight enough to bruise, and he loosened it after a moment, as if he was forcing himself to relax.
"You know what it means."
He offered no more than that, and Lyssa's heart picked up its pace as cold flooded her body. This could not be happening again. She would not believe that he was the same as Kevin. This had to be some sort of misunderstanding, some form of miscommunication that she simply was not getting.
"I think we have our lines of communication crossed somewhere. When I hear you talk of dragons I think of the statues downstairs, but you must mean something else." It took all her willpower not to pull her hand from his and cross her fingers in hope that what she was saying was true. The dinner she'd enjoyed with him sat in a heavy ball as she waited for him to laugh, grin or do something to indicate that this was all a big misunderstanding.
This moment would be something they would look back on and laugh over. They'd reminisce about how she'd foolishly misheard him and jumped to the conclusion that he told her he was a dragon. They would talk about this someday, and it would amuse them both to think that she'd actually thought he told her he was a real live dragon.
"The stone creatures in the basement are not statues, Lyssa. They are slumbering dragons and they are my brothers. I am not telling you this to frighten you, and once you have had some time to absorb what must seem shocking to you, I am sure you will see that everything will be fine. I have strong feelings for you and I want you to be my mate."
Ice washed through her as she yanked her hand out of his grip and got up off the sofa. Either this was a joke that wasn't remotely funny or he believed what he was saying. She prayed it was the former. She could get over a statement made in poor taste eventually, but she could not get over evidence of his insanity.
"Is this some sort of joke? Are you making fun of me? I told you what I went through with Kevin, how he had crazy notion that he was a dragon hunter and I thought you understood that I didn't find the matter funny. I didn't think you would be so cruel as to make fun of me because of it now." She didn’t think he was capable of such cruelty, and if asked yesterday if she thought he could do such a thing, she would have said no. But the other explanation for what he was saying didn't bear thinking about.
Desperation came into his eyes as his face paled, as if he realized just how much he'd miscalculated this moment. He stood and when he made to move toward her, she took a step back and raised her hands.
"Lyssa…” He remained where he was, as he raised his hands in supplication.
"Just tell me that this is some kind of cruel joke. I don't find it funny, but if you confess it, and end it now, I will eventually be able to forgive you." She squeezed her lips together to keep them from trembling. This could not be happening. The beautiful evening that she'd had such high hopes for, one where she thought he would ask her to be with him on a more permanent basis, shattered around her.
This was a joke. That's all it was. A cruel one, one that she could not understand why he was making, but it had to be that. Otherwise Andor had hidden a delusional personality from her, and she'd been too blind to see it. It couldn't be that.
"I am not joking. I would not be so cruel to you to put you through this for some sort of twisted amusement. I fear I have miscalculated and have not sufficiently prepared you for this evening. I thought if you got to know me as a man, to know what manner of man I am, that you would understand what I'm telling you." His hands dropped down to his sides, and an ache settled deep in Lyssa's stomach as her body grew hot.
"How could you think I'd understand any of this? You're not being rational. I didn't think you were the kind of man who would harbor such deep delusions, but what else can I think? Please tell me that you don't believe what you are saying is true, that this is a joke, and we'll try to put it behind us. Chalk it up to an evening of too much wine." She knew that she grasping here, that he'd not drunk nearly enough wine at dinner to be making some sort of drunken statement. At this point she didn't know if she could put his behavior in the past and go on as if tonight had never happened. But she didn't want to face the alternative.
"I know this must come as a shock to you." Why was he talking as if what he was saying was true? Why was he so insistent? "I can prove to you that what I'm saying to you is true. Once you see me in my dragon form, you will know that I speak the truth."
Lyssa let her head fall forward for a moment. This was really happening. He was losing his mind in front of her and she could do nothing to stop it. She didn't believe in indulging in someone else's delusions, but perhaps if she called him on his statement he would see that what he believe about himself simply wasn't true.
"Fine. Turn into a dragon right here, right now and I'll believe you." She crossed her arms over her chest as she hardened her heart. She didn't know why she was letting him continue with this farce, but a part of her didn't want to let him go. She wanted to weep over the loss of a relationship that she'd had such high hopes for.
He looked around the room, as if calculating something in his mind. She braced herself for him to make some excuse as to why he couldn't transform here. It was the only logical thing that could happen.
"I can't take my dragon form here, there isn't sufficient room."
"I've heard enough. I can't do this anymore, Andor." Lyssa raised her hand to stop him saying anything further. Her lower lip trembled and she took a deep breath in through her nose as she pressed her lips together.
"Come with me to the clearing and I can show you what I'm saying is true. Please Lyssa, just come with me and I'll show you I am a dragon." Before she could react, he took a step forward and took her arms in his hands. There was a desperate light in his eyes, one that frightened her. Her heart pounded as she pulled away from him and stepped back.
"Andor you need help." There were tears in her voice as she looked at the beautiful man she'd grown so close to, had grown to love. A tear slipped down her cheek and she swiped it away. "Please, promise me you'll get some help."
He drew himself up to his full height and red suffused his face as he looked at her with disbelief.
"I am not mad. I can prove what I am saying. If you come with me to the clearing I will show you. Lyssa, you must come with me."
He wasn't going to stop. As long as she was standing here, listening to this, he would not stop. She hugged her arms around her middle as she realized what she needed to do. He would not get the help he needed while she stayed here, listening to his fantasies. She would have to leave.
"Andor, I care about you and I truly believe that you need help. If you don't get the help you need I will have no choice but to leave here." It wasn't a clean break, but a part of her cared enough about him to want to support him in getting his life back on track. This had to be a momentary lapse, a blip that he would get over with time and counseling.
"I am not insane." He looked her in the eye when he growled his response and the muscle worked in his jaw.
He was not going to acknowledge that he had a problem and she could not stay here watch his insanity destroy him.
"I am leaving. Please don't call me or contact me in any way.” She looked at him for one last moment as her heart felt like it was ripping out of her chest. How could things have gone so wrong so quickly?
"You do not need to worry. I'm not the same kind of man as Kevin.
You have always been free to leave any time you wish. I will let you gather your things." He turned on his heel and walked from the lounge. She stood there for a moment, not sure what she should do. Was this some sort of trick, to get her to think that she was free to go before he sprung a trap to keep her here?
She shook her head as she darted out of the lounge and made her way across the foyer as fast as her feet would carry her. Andor may be in the grips of some sort of madness, but he'd never hurt her before and she didn't think he'd do so now. She was moving quickly so she wouldn't change her mind about this, so she wouldn't talk herself into staying with him under the delusion that someday he might get help. He would not acknowledge that he had a problem and until he did, there was nothing she could do for him.
She threw her clothing into the bag she'd brought with her. She didn't look at the bed, where she and Andor had slept and made love. It was too painful to think about those times with him. She needed to get out of here and put this whole fiasco behind her.
She didn't bother taking the dress she wore off, but she removed the earrings and set them on the dresser. She just wanted to leave before she lost her nerve. There was no one to stop her as she went back down the stairs and out the front door.
Once in her car, her hand trembled as she put the key in the ignition. Her body felt shaky all over, and as the engine started she wondered if she would have the strength to get home. She had to. She couldn't sit here in this driveway for the rest of her life.
The trip home passed in a blur, and she remembered none of it as she pulled her car into her driveway. The adrenaline that had gotten her this far deserted her, and she grabbed her bag and walked to her home on weary feet. Once inside she locked her front door and her body sagged against it. Her legs slowly dissolved beneath her until she was sitting on the floor. She buried her face in her hands and wept.