Summer Sins

by Julia James

  He closed his eyes again on a sigh of defeat. ‘Give me a break, sweetheart. Don’t kick me when I’m already down.’

  Hayley felt totally disarmed by his uncharacteristic vulnerability, all her nurturing tendencies coming to the fore. She came back to his side and stroked his burning forehead again, her touch gentle and soothing. ‘I’m sorry,’ she said in a soft whisper.

  He touched the back of her hand briefly with one of his. ‘Be a good little girl and let me ride this out alone. I’m not used to having anyone fussing over me.’

  ‘You don’t have to be alone,’ she said, but if he heard her he gave no indication of it. She watched his chest rising and falling, his breathing pattern evening out until finally she felt his body relax as he drifted off to sleep.

  Hayley checked on him three times before she went to bed herself, but each time he seemed to be sleeping soundly. She had transferred her things to the room closest to his and, after spending a short time unpacking, she looked longingly at the bed. She had been up early and, with the added stress of pretending she was pretending to be in love, she felt as if every bit of energy had drained out of her completely.

  She was furious with herself for being so weak. How could she have fallen in love with him knowing him as she did? He was the last person who could give her what she wanted in life. He had already ruined one woman’s life, abandoning his own son to pursue a playboy lifestyle free of commitments.

  She got into bed and closed her eyes, willing herself to sleep so she didn’t have to think about the way his mouth had felt on hers …

  She woke some hours later to the sound of Jasper being wretchedly sick in the en suite. She hesitated, torn between wanting to go to him, but realising he wanted to be left alone to maintain some level of dignity.

  She couldn’t remember a time in the past when he’d been so ill. Even the common colds that had knocked her flat occasionally during her childhood and adolescent years had seemed to pass him by with little or no effect. She wondered if he’d taught himself self sufficiency from an early age due to the loss of his mother. He reminded her of a wolf licking his wounds in private, unwilling to show his physical vulnerability in case someone took advantage of it.

  Deciding it was better to check than lie awake worrying about him, she put a wrap on over her nightgown and pressed her ear to the door of his room. ‘Jasper? Are you OK?’

  It was disturbingly quiet.

  She turned the handle and entered the bedroom, her eyes immediately taking in the twisted sheets, which looked damp with sweat.

  The en suite door was slightly ajar and when she pushed it open she found Jasper slumped between the basin and the toilet, his face ashen.

  ‘Oh, you poor thing,’ she said, rushing to him. ‘Have you hurt yourself?’

  ‘I’m all right …’ he groaned, and tried to lift his head but gave up and let it drop to the tiles once more.

  ‘That’s it,’ she said. ‘I’m calling a doctor.’

  ‘While you’re at it you might as well call the undertaker as well,’ he said dryly as he closed his eyes against the light.

  She rinsed out a face cloth and gently bathed his face and, leaving him propped up with towels and some pillows from the bed, went to the phone.

  The medical clinic promised someone would be there within half an hour and she went back to him in time to see him struggling to stand upright.

  She felt her bottom lip begin to quiver and tears pushed past her eyelids even though she blinked and squeezed several times to stop them.

  Jasper dragged his blurry gaze to the source of the moisture that was dripping on his arm. ‘Please tell me those aren’t tears of joy at the thought of me meeting my demise,’ he said with a touch of irony.

  She gulped back a sob. ‘I can’t bear to see you like this. I can’t bear to see anyone like this.’

  ‘I must look a whole lot worse than I feel, which is really saying something because I feel like a headstone with my name on it is hammering me over the head.’

  ‘The doctor is on his way or her way—I don’t know which; the receptionist didn’t say.’ She sniffed and wiped away her tears with the back of her hand.

  Jasper felt a small smile tug at his mouth in spite of how he felt. ‘You’re starting to really scare me with all this wifely concern, baby girl. A guy could get used to it.’

  Her big blue-green eyes met his, her small chin wobbling as she tried to return his smile. ‘We could go on one of those reality TV shows, you know—honeymoons from hell or something,’ she said. ‘I think we’d win.’

  ‘You could be right.’

  The doorbell sounded and she sprang to her feet. ‘That’ll be the doctor.’

  He watched as she raced out, his throat feeling as if he’d swallowed a thorn and it was now on its way down his windpipe to his chest, catching him now and again. He hadn’t realised how much he missed being fussed over until now. He had shut down his emotions after his mother’s death but Hayley’s soothing touch had stirred him in places he hadn’t visited in years.

  He gave himself a mental shake and, dragging himself to his feet, staggered back out to his bed.

  ‘He’s in the bathroom,’ Hayley said, leading Dr Alistair Preece into the bedroom, but when she saw the figure splayed out on the bed she quickly amended, ‘Oh, I mean he’s in here.’

  She stood to one side as the doctor asked Jasper a series of questions, including what he’d eaten in the last forty-eight hours. He also took his blood pressure and some blood to send off for testing, but his diagnosis leaned towards a rather nasty stomach virus that was currently doing the rounds.

  ‘It should pass in a day or so,’ Dr Preece addressed Hayley. ‘I suggest he stays in bed, push the fluids as tolerated, especially those electrolyte replacement drinks you can get from a pharmacy, but if things don’t improve take him to your nearest outpatients’ department for admission for IV rehydration.’

  Hayley saw the doctor out and came back to find Jasper heading back to the en suite. ‘Are you going to be sick again?’

  ‘No,’ he said. ‘I thought I’d have a shower.’

  She made sure he had enough towels and closed the door and went back to strip the bed so she could put on fresh sheets. It took her a few minutes to find them in the linen cupboard further along the hall, but the task was soon completed.

  Jasper came back out of the en suite and saw the freshly made bed. ‘You didn’t have to do that,’ he said, frowning slightly.

  ‘It was no trouble.’ She peeled back the top sheet and turned her back as he dropped his towel. She waited until she was sure he was covered before she turned back round. ‘I’m going to duck out to get some of that fluid-replacement stuff the doctor recommended. That’s probably why your headache is so bad. It’s caused by dehydration. Will you be OK while I’m gone?’

  He nodded even though it sent a tremor worthy of the upper end of the Richter scale through his head. ‘Eric left your car keys on the hall table downstairs,’ he said. ‘But you can take mine if you like.’

  ‘No, I prefer my own. Just close your eyes and I’ll be back as soon as I can.’

  * * *

  Jasper opened his eyes a short time later to see her standing by his bedside with a vile coloured drink in her hands.

  ‘You need to do this slowly,’ she said, propping the glass up to his mouth. ‘Just take a few sips to see if they stay down.’

  He found it hard to concentrate when the shadow of her cleavage was the only thing he could see. He forced his eyes closed and took a sip, his tight throat relaxing as the liquid went down. ‘I wonder if this is an omen or something,’ he said, laying his head back on the soft mound of pillows she had arranged. ‘Maybe Raymond’s put a curse on me for marrying you for all the wrong reasons.’

  ‘He came to see me while you were away.’

  He cranked his eyes open to look at her. ‘Oh, really? What did he do? Try to warn you off?’

  ‘Sort of.’

 
He closed his eyes again. ‘It obviously didn’t work, then.’

  ‘You didn’t really leave me much choice,’ she pointed out. ‘I had to marry you to save my business.’

  ‘I had to marry you to save my inheritance,’ he returned. ‘There was no other way.’

  ‘I never thought my life would be like this,’ she said after a moment’s silence. ‘I somehow thought my wedding day would be … you know … different from this.’

  ‘I guess the groom lying on the bathroom floor isn’t a part of any young girl’s dream of her special day,’ he commented dryly.

  A reluctant wry smile spread across her face. ‘No, it isn’t,’ she said. ‘I had visions of champagne bubbling in tall crystal glasses and rose petals strewn across the bed and soft music playing.’

  ‘So I took a creative detour,’ he said. ‘Try not to hold it against me. I might just make it up to you in the end.’

  ‘Somehow I don’t think so.’

  ‘Because you really wanted Myles?’ he asked, looking at her again.

  Hayley had trouble for a moment even recalling what her ex-fiancé looked like. ‘I wanted to marry a man who loved me,’ she said, looking at her hands rather than into his dark, contemplative gaze. ‘Is that so much for a girl to ask?’

  ‘Your head is full of romantic dreams that rarely come true in real life,’ he said. ‘Most couples fall out of love before the second anniversary.’

  She raised her eyes back to his. ‘But true love does happen occasionally, look at the Hendersons.’

  ‘Perhaps now and again a couple might find a certain chemistry that lasts the distance, but it’s still extremely rare,’ he acceded.

  The silence was so acute Hayley heard the soft sound of the sheets rustling when one of his feet moved in the bed next to her thigh.

  ‘You’re still young, Hayley,’ he said. ‘You’ll find someone else as soon as we divorce, someone much better than Myles, and certainly a whole lot better than me.’

  ‘It’s not easy meeting nice men these days,’ she said. ‘I thought I got it right with Myles but now I’m not so sure. How can I trust my judgement any more?’

  ‘So you’re finally prepared to admit you’re not in love with him?’

  Her eyes came back to his. ‘He was the very first man to tell me he loved me. I guess I got swept up with the notion of belonging to someone.’

  A small frown appeared between his brows. ‘Didn’t my father ever tell you how much he loved you?’

  She shook her head. ‘Not in so many words, but I always knew he did. I guess he just wasn’t comfortable expressing it out loud.’

  Jasper laid his head back on the pillows and closed his eyes. ‘You deserved better than this, Hayley. I still can’t quite figure out why the old guy left things so complicated. I know he was determined to pull me in line, but I don’t see why he had to use you to do it.’

  ‘It’s OK, Jasper,’ she said, touching his hand where it lay on the bed. ‘It’s not for long and then you will have what you want.’

  He opened his eyes to meet hers, his expression hard to decode. ‘But what about what you want?’ he asked, his hand turning over to entrap her fingers.

  Her breath locked in her throat as the warmth of his hand seeped into hers. ‘I guess what I want can wait a little longer,’ she said.

  He gave her fingers a tiny squeeze and closed his eyes once more. ‘This is day one, only thirty more to go.’

  Hayley looked at their loosely linked hands and suppressed an inner sigh. He was already counting the days until he would be free while she was treasuring each moment they were together, storing away the memories of each time he touched her to see her through the long lonely days ahead.

  She longed to feel his mouth on hers again; the shifting moods of his lips and tongue fascinated her. He could kiss with such softness and yet with such hard determination, each stroke and glide of his tongue making her boneless and weak with desire. The press of his body against hers was now printed indelibly on her memory. Even looking at him lying supine on the bed beside her she could almost feel his hard, muscular chest against the softness of her breasts, and her nipples began to tighten with longing beneath the light fabric of her nightgown and wrap. Her eyes travelled lower to where the sheet covered his hips and pelvis, and her stomach hollowed as she recalled how he had felt fully aroused. It didn’t take too much imagination on her part to imagine how exciting and fulfilling making love with him would be. His mouth tasted of sex every time he kissed her, the heat and fire of his touch leaving her in no doubt of his sensual expertise.

  She lifted her free hand to his brow once more, her touch soft as a feather in case she disturbed his slumber. He was still warm but not beaded with perspiration as he had been earlier.

  She traced each of his dark brows with one of her fingertips, then over the mauve satin of each of his eyelids, marvelling at the length of his sooty lashes, which lay like twin fans against his cheeks. She travelled down the length of his nose before hovering near the temptation of his mouth for a moment or two.

  She drew in a tiny breath that caught at her throat as she began to gently outline his upper lip, a tiny shiver passing over her skin as the soft pad of her fingertip encountered the sexy rasp of his evening stubble. Her finger moved to his bottom lip, lingering over its sensual fullness, her mouth tingling as she thought of how it had felt to have those lips burning against hers.

  Almost without realising she was doing it, she leaned forward and pressed a whisper of a kiss against his lips, the tip of her tongue sneaking out to anoint his dryness with her moistness. She heard him groan softly and pulled back from him, her heart suddenly racing. But after a few more minutes sitting watching him she realised he was soundly asleep and her heart rate gradually returned to normal.

  She stifled a yawn and settled down beside him, promising herself she’d wake before he did and go back to her room …

  CHAPTER TEN

  HAYLEY OPENED HER eyes just as dawn broke to see Jasper propped up on one elbow, his dark gaze trained on her.

  ‘How are you feeling?’ she asked, her voice coming out like the sound of a creaky door opening.

  ‘I’m feeling fine,’ he said. ‘How about you?’

  She blinked at him a little vacantly. ‘Me?’

  He brushed some of her wayward curls off her face. ‘Yes, you. I haven’t infected you, have I?’

  She felt her spine loosen as his fingers secured her hair behind her ear. ‘Not so far.’

  His eyes held hers in a silence that began to hum with erotic promise. Hayley was suddenly all too conscious of how close her bare legs were to his—her nightgown had somehow worked its way up around her waist and her wrap was on the floor where she must have discarded it during the night.

  He placed a gentle hand to her forehead. ‘You feel a bit hot,’ he said.

  ‘It’s only because I’ve been sleeping with you … I mean, not exactly sleeping with you, but … well … you know what I mean …’

  He picked up another strand of her hair, but instead of securing it behind her ear he coiled it around his finger, his eyes still locked with hers. ‘I had this really weird dream last night,’ he said.

  ‘Oh?’ She moistened her mouth with the tip of her tongue. ‘W-what was it about?’

  His eyes left hers briefly to look down at her mouth, lingering there for a moment before returning to her blue-green gaze. ‘I dreamt that I made passionate love to you.’

  She tried to affect a flippant tone. ‘Wow, that is weird.’

  ‘But what’s even weirder is finding you in my bed this morning.’ He released her hair as a small frown brought his brows closer. ‘I didn’t do anything to you that you didn’t want me to, did I?’

  Hayley was both surprised and touched by the obvious concern in his tone. She hadn’t thought him capable of a conscience, especially when it came to having his own way. ‘No, of course you didn’t.’

  His frown still hovered on his forehead.
‘Did we make love?’

  Hayley could feel her cheeks firing. ‘No.’

  ‘So nothing happened?’

  ‘Nothing happened, Jasper.’

  Silence.

  Heavy beating silence.

  ‘I had this other dream,’ he said, his gaze going to her mouth once more. ‘Or at least I think it was a dream but I could be wrong. It might very well have happened for real.’

  The brush of his gaze made Hayley’s lips tingle but somehow she managed to croak out, ‘Oh?’

  ‘I dreamt that you kissed me.’

  She shifted her eyes from the laser beam intensity of his. ‘You were probably dreaming of the kiss at the wedding …’

  ‘I don’t think so.’ He brought her chin up and looked deep into her eyes. ‘Why did you kiss me, Hayley?’

  ‘I was tired and not thinking straight. I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.’

  ‘You don’t need to apologise and I want it to happen again. I’ve been thinking about it while I watched you sleeping, imagining what it would feel like to be inside you. My body’s been on fire for the past hour.’

  ‘Jasper, I …’ She stopped to run her tongue over her dry lips again, her stomach feeling as if a giant hole had just opened in it as he leaned closer.

  ‘Tell me you don’t want to make love with me,’ he said, pressing a kiss to the side of her neck. ‘Tell me and I’ll stop right now.’

  How could she even think straight, let alone speak with his tongue rasping along the sensitive skin stretched over her collar-bone? Hayley wondered. How could she deny herself the feel of his weight pinning her to the bed, and the plunge of his hard body into the needy softness of hers?

  He kissed the side of her mouth, his tongue flicking against her bottom lip, once, twice, three times. ‘Do you want me to stop?’ he asked, his voice so deep she felt it rumble against her breasts.

  ‘No …’ she said, and, stifling a groan, brought her mouth to his in a hot, slippery kiss that said more than words ever could. Her hands went to his hair, her fingers burying in its thickness to keep him tethered to her mouth. His tongue set fire to her mouth, each possessive thrust thrilling her as she felt the heat and probe of his erection between her legs as he rolled with her so she was on her back. She felt the abrasion of his leg hair against her silky smoothness and opened her thighs to accommodate him further, her indrawn breath scalding her throat as she felt him brush up against her tender folds, the barely leashed power of his body totally thrilling her.