His Rebel Heart

by Amber Leigh Williams

  * * *

  ADRIAN BIT HER thumbnail as she drove to The Farm on Saturday. She’d made enough excuses. It was time to face the music.

  And what better time than now when she and James were at odds and she was cursing herself for putting herself in a vulnerable position with him? What better way to pack on some more self-loathing than to spend the day with her mother?

  She didn’t know if she believed Cole’s allegations that James had known about the drug trafficking. Nonetheless, she hadn’t spoken to either of the men since the near-brawl. Cole had tried apologizing to her several times over the last week. She’d done her best to brush him off. James had brought dinner around several times, too, and she’d given him the same treatment.

  She didn’t know what to do with either of them. Frankly, she didn’t want to think about any of it. Either way, she’d gotten herself into this mess—similar to the mess she’d had eight years ago. It was difficult to believe that she shouldn’t expect the same results—heartbreak and humiliation.

  Kyle bounded ahead of her from the car. Adrian followed him around the farmhouse, eager to avoid her mother as long as possible by steering clear of the indoors. The Carlton family house was a converted barn built from simple clapboard. Set in an old oak grove, it felt tucked away from the world. Sheltered. Almost idyllic. Add in the barn and sprawling horse pasture out back, it looked like something out of a storybook. Van and Edith had lived there all their married lives.

  The security and idealism of Adrian’s upbringing was something she had taken for granted. Mostly because her rebellious streak had come from her need for independence and a desire to carve her own way in the world.

  As Kyle sprinted toward the barn built by Van years ago, where they housed the horses and the crop duster, Adrian stopped for a moment to breathe in the earthy scents of horses and all things green. There were wildflowers and berries growing in the thicket beyond the house and lawn. Birds were nesting in the trees around her. The scents of spring twined thickly in the air. The sun peeking through the trees was warm and a cool breeze kissed her skin.

  “It’s about time you showed up.”

  Adrian looked around. So much for a moment’s peace. Edith Carlton crossed her arms as she approached Adrian. In her nondescript black sweater, riding boots and jeans, she looked every bit the well-to-do farmer’s wife. If not for her cold, shrewd eyes, the lines bracketing her mouth and the disappointed expression—which Adrian believed to be a permanent fixture since the day she was born—Edith might have looked like something out of a catalog.

  Adrian took a deep breath. “Mom. How are you?”

  “I’ve been better,” Edith said. “Considering how much gossip I’ve been fielding about you and that James Bracken.”

  Adrian cleared her throat. “You don’t have to worry about James. There’s no place for him in my life.”

  “As if there ever was a place for a man like that in your life,” Edith said with a roll of her eyes. “That’s the mistake you made before.”

  “I wouldn’t call Kyle a mistake. Would you?”

  Edith’s eyes flared. “Don’t put words in my mouth. These are your peccadillos we’re talking about, not mine.”

  There was that word. Peccadillos. The bane of Adrian’s existence. “I didn’t come here to fight. Where’s Dad?”

  “In the barn,” Edith said. She sniffed in her husband’s direction. “Fiddling with that plane again. As if he’ll ever get it working. I try to tell him it’s useless, but the man never learns.”

  “I’ll go say hi,” Adrian said and without any other words, she half sprinted toward the building. Telling herself to brush aside the argument and all the negative feelings and tension that it had brought, Adrian concentrated on Kyle’s piping voice and Van’s deep, answering chuckle as she got closer to the barn.

  Then she heard another laugh, another voice, and stopped cold. After several moments, frowning deeply, she marched through the open archway leading into the stables. She didn’t stop to pat the horses as she usually did. Bypassing the stalls and the small tack room, she walked to the back section of the barn that opened into the hayloft. There, just inside the large barn doors, was Van Carlton’s pride and joy—the aging, yellow crop duster he’d inherited from his own father. And bent over the engine with him were Kyle, standing on a step stool for a better vantage point...and James. Both men’s hands were smeared with engine grease and they looked happy as clams.

  “You gotta be kidding me,” she groaned.

  James’s eyes lifted from the engine at exactly that moment, as if he had heard the quiet words. The corner of his mouth lifted in a smile. “Well, if it isn’t li’l mama.”

  Kyle glanced up from the engine, all smiles. “Mom, look! James is here. Isn’t that great?”

  “Great,” she muttered, taking a few steps forward. Van peered at her from beneath the brim of his battered Dale Earnhardt cap. “Dad,” she said tightly.

  Van lifted a shoulder. “He showed up this morning. Nearly sent your mama into apoplexy. You can’t blame me for letting him stay.”

  Adrian could have admired the sense in that...if James Bracken hadn’t been the tool her father was using to put a hitch in his wife’s step. She met James’s affable stare and threw him all the negative vibes she’d been trying to let go. “Can I see you for a moment? Outside.”

  “Sure,” James said, innocently enough. “Excuse me, Van.”

  Van lifted another shoulder to show James his absence didn’t bother him.

  Adrian didn’t say anything until she and James were far enough from the barn that neither Kyle nor Van would overhear. Then she whirled on him. “Okay, let’s skip the part where I ask why you showed up today of all days. You’ve got a lot of nerve coming here to get under my skin.”

  James reached into his back pocket and pulled out a white cleaning cloth to wipe his hands. “Kyle mentioned your father has been trying to get his plane running. I thought I’d lend the guy a hand.”

  “You know his opinion means far more to me than anyone else’s,” Adrian accused. “So you’re cozying up to him. Admit it.”

  James considered, then lifted a wry brow. “Well, I think we all know I don’t have a chance in hell with your mother.” When Adrian only groaned again, he laughed it off. “Look, your old man called me last week to ask if I could come by and lend him a hand. He would’ve come to the garage, but the plane isn’t exactly something he can tow. I didn’t know you’d be here today until I showed up.”

  When he shrugged, she frowned. “So this has nothing to do with what’s between us?”

  He smirked. “Well, maybe a little.” He chanced a step toward her, lowering his head. “And I like the sound of that.”

  “What?” she asked.

  “What’s between us,” James repeated. His smile gentled and his eyes sobered. “At least you admit there is something.”

  “There was,” she pointed out. “Before you lied to me.”

  “I didn’t lie.”

  “You weren’t exactly truthful, though, were you?” she asked. “About the drugs.”

  “Listen—”

  “I don’t want you to stay for dinner.”

  He pulled a face. “Sorry. I’m here at your father’s invitation. If he wants me to stay, I will. Even if it’s just to bug the heck out of your mother.”

  “Jesus!” Adrian raked her hands through her hair and lifted her eyes skyward. “Is there a man around here who has any decency at all?”

  James’s smile tipped up at the corners as he took a look around. Hands on his hips, he looked right at home. “It’s strange being back here. Where it all began. I passed the greenhouses on the way in. Made me more than a little nostalgic.”

  Adrian refused to think about the greenhouses and what had happened there.

 
He must have seen the tension vibrating through her. Taking a step toward her, he lowered his voice. “Look...if it makes you feel better, I’ll swear another oath not to touch you.”

  She scoffed. “It’s not that. Well, not just that,” she added, eyeing the close breadth of his torso. Reaching up, she pushed him back so she had room to breathe at least. “My mother’s already on my case about you. How am I supposed to convince her there’s nothing between us if you’re here?”

  He frowned. “Well, for one, there is something between us.” When she arched a warning brow, he ignored it and continued. “Two, if you decide it isn’t any of Edith’s business, it shouldn’t be. Anyway, she should take you at your word.”

  “She won’t,” Adrian muttered.

  James’s brows hitched doubtfully before his expression cleared altogether. “Out of curiosity...how would you feel if I took Kyle camping next weekend?”

  “Camping?” she asked, thrown off by the sudden shift in topic.

  “Yeah. My Dad used to take me out to Fort McRee on the Free Bird every spring break. Kyle mentioned his is coming up. I’d like to take him, if you’re willing.”

  “That’s all the way to the Florida border,” Adrian thought aloud. “You can’t reach it by car, can you?”

  “Not really,” he admitted. “We’d sail there.”

  “Not on the Free Bird, I hope,” she said doubtfully. “It’s ancient.”

  “Mom sold the old daysailer after I skipped town years ago,” he explained, pulling a regrettable face. “I’ve got a new boat. A catamaran.”

  She thought about it. “A catamaran. Sounds expensive.”

  “Well, I didn’t exactly buy her,” James admitted.

  She cursed out loud. “You stole it?”

  James laughed. It rumbled deep in his chest. “No, I won her. A year ago at the poker tables.”

  Adrian breathed a sigh of relief. “Oh, thank God.”

  “She’s a real beaut,” James told her. “Roomy, too, and safe enough for a daylight cruise to Fort McRee.”

  Adrian shook her head. “I don’t know. I’m still mad at you.”

  James searched her eyes, the wide grin on his face slowly fading as he saw the truth of her wary words. His gaze dipped over her mouth and back to her eyes in a longing sweep. Lowering his voice, he asked, “What’ve I got to do to cure that?”

  Weary, she began to lift her shoulders.

  “Hey, Mom!”

  They both pivoted as Kyle sprinted toward them. “Granddaddy said I could take Monty out for a ride. You haven’t seen me ride bareback yet.”

  “I’ll saddle up Stargazer and go with you,” Adrian replied. “Just give me a minute, okay?”

  As he ran back toward the barn, James narrowed his eyes. “Are you sure it’s safe for him to be riding bareback?”

  “Dad’s been working with him.” Adrian nodded. “If he says Kyle’s ready, I hold my breath and do my best to trust him.”

  James lifted his hand to her hair and, although she eyed him sternly, he brushed his fingertips through her coif. “Don’t worry about your mother.”

  Something echoed from years ago when he’d kissed her nail-scored palms after a particularly scalding run-in with Edith. The same words spoken the same, soft way. Her heart tugged her toward him and her hands tingled in remembrance.

  Balling them into fists, she followed Kyle to the stables. A good, long ride on horseback would do her some good.

  * * *

  “SOCKET WRENCH?”

  Without a word, Van handed James the tool. They’d been encamped in the barn with the vintage crop duster for much of the morning and afternoon. James didn’t mind. It was grueling, dirty work, as the engine hadn’t been cleaned in some time. Both his shirt and Van’s were grease stained and their fingertips had gone black. It was the engine, though, that intrigued James. He wasn’t familiar with it. It was easy convincing Van to let him dismantle it somewhat so that he could learn more about it.

  Adrian’s father’s presence wasn’t unwelcome. Van was a man of few words. For hours, they didn’t speak beyond the work and the history of the plane. It wasn’t until the light had shifted through the trees outside and an early-evening breeze wafted, light and cool, through the open barn doors that the past reared its ugly head between them.

  Van raised a hand to his weathered, black ball cap, taking it off to wipe his sweaty brow with a dirty handkerchief. James’s hands fumbled as he glanced up and his gaze seized on the jagged scar across the man’s brow. It was faded and had gone white with time, but without the hat it was as prominent as Van’s bushy gray brows.

  As Van lowered the handkerchief, he caught James’s stare. Unable to look away, James’s eyes pinged uncertainly between those wise eyes and the terrible reminder of the attack that had brought James’s time with the Carltons to an abrupt end.

  After a moment, Van asked, “You got something you want to say, son?”

  Son. The word was like a barb. James forced himself to swallow around the knot in his throat. Van had called him son during his community service sentence. At first, he’d had to fight not to tell the man to quit calling him that. As the summer wore on, however, James had stopped minding. The relationship between him and Van might have been rough going at first, but a bond had grown. For James, it had been bittersweet since he’d rejected every other father figure who’d tried to impose himself on James’s life. Van had been different. He never imposed. As the end of summer neared, James continued to work hard. He’d worked to earn Van’s approval and to perhaps quiet the dark suspicion in Edith’s eyes.

  It had all been for nothing, thanks to Van’s unknown assailant. And James’s fast escape from Fairhope that had left Van’s daughter alone when she needed James most.

  Hands braced on the edge of the engine compartment, James looked away and cleared his throat. “I’m sorry,” he said. The words seemed small in the face of everything that had happened.

  Van covered his thinning hair with the ball cap once more and lifted a shoulder, turning his attention back to the engine. “If I remember rightly, my daughter vouched for your innocence.”

  The vote of confidence did nothing to assuage James’s guilt. “I’ve been responsible for a lot of bad things. I hurt Adrian. By extension, I hurt you and Edith. I need to make amends. I want to.”

  Van frowned in concentration as he screwed a bolt into place. “You get this plane runnin’ again and maybe make Adrian smile once in a while, you’d be making fair progress as far as I’m concerned.”

  Van wasn’t the type of man to hold grudges. Nevertheless, James was grateful for the chance at forgiveness. “Yes, sir.”

  It took another forty-five minutes, but after a sputter and a rusty moan, the prop turned for the first time in ten years and the engine roared to life. James, standing back to watch the propeller spin, beamed. Glancing at Van in the cockpit, he saw the old man’s wide grin and the deep thread of satisfaction weaving its way across his face, washing away the age wrought there by time. James felt the weight of guilt ease more than a little. Even more so when they left the barn through the wide doors and Van clapped a hand over James’s shoulder. “Good work, son. What d’ya say we grab a couple of cold beers?”

  “That’d be great, sir,” James said, “but I no longer drink.”

  Van eyed him, looking up from his five feet eight inches. Still, the approval James saw there made him feel at once three inches taller and like a small boy all over again. “Ah, well,” Van said. “How ’bout a cold glass of lemonade instead?”

  James splayed his dirty hands in front of him. “You sure Edith won’t chase us out with a broom?”

  Van chuckled. The sound was so rare, James was almost certain he’d never heard it before. “All the better, son. All the better.” He lifted his hand as they walked the fe
nce line along the pasture. “Lookin’ good, boy.”

  James’s head turned and he stopped to watch Kyle trot over bareback on a tall, dark Tennessee Walker with a braided mane. Adrian was close behind him on her old bay mare, Stargazer. The pair made a picture, both looking as at home on horseback as he’d felt bent over an engine for the bulk of the day.

  “Can I try jumping it, Granddaddy?” Kyle asked with a mischievous smile as he eyed the fence.

  “No,” both Van and James said at the same time. Van leaned on the top of the fence. “Grow a little in the saddle and I’ll let you try some short jumps on Ajax.”

  “Okay,” Kyle said with a small frown. “Hey, James, how’m I doing?”

  James opened his mouth to tell him how steady he looked on the horse when a twig snapped loudly under Stargazer’s front hoof. The Tennessee Walker started and sidestepped just enough to throw Kyle off balance. Adrian shrieked as Kyle began to pitch over the side of the horse. James vaulted the fence and managed to fold himself under Kyle’s falling form just in the nick of time.

  “Kyle!” Adrian cried, rounding the walking horse as Van clambered over the rail to tug on the reins so the horse’s hind legs weren’t in danger of trampling the pair on the ground. Adrian dropped to the ground and ran her hands over his head as Kyle sat up. “Are you okay?”

  “I’m fine,” the boy said, a bit wide-eyed. “James caught me.”

  “Thank God,” Adrian breathed as she pulled him into her arms. Over his shoulder, she met James’s gaze as he sat up. The look she gave him was equal parts parental terror and immense gratitude.

  James gave her a nod and, as he came up to his knees, braced his hands on the pair to catch his breath. His heart was still hammering. He’d caught Kyle, but it would be a while before the image of him falling into open air faded. That knot was back in his throat. He ran a hand over Kyle’s hair, in part to reassure himself that he was safe, whole.

  “What happened?” Edith barked as she ran up.

  “Nothing,” Van told her. “Everything’s fine here.”