Loving Lily

by Marie E. Blossom

  "You shouldn't have to handle it. " Lily couldn't live with herself if something happened to Matt, too, just like the rest of her family. Nervous energy competed with her tiredness and she rubbed her arms.

  "Look, if I was in trouble and you could help, would you simply walk away?" he finally asked.

  Damn him. He had a point. She chewed on the inside of her cheek, not answering.

  "Well?"

  "No," she said, reluctantly.

  "Well, neither can I. Especially not now," he said, reaching over and tucking a stray hair behind her ear. Her heart skipped at the sweetness of the gesture.

  "I don't know who's trying to kill me," she finally said, admitting her fear. Her voice shook. "And it's been happening for a long time. " She felt like she was admitting to some kind of weird addiction. She’d never said it aloud in quite that way before.

  "I know," Matt said quietly. "We'll figure it out. " He turned off the road onto a dirt track that snaked through the woods. It was still dark, so Lily couldn't see much.

  "I don't understand why you're helping me," she murmured, twisting her hands together.

  Matt glanced at her, but didn't reply. A minute later he pulled into a clearing and turned off the truck. A two-story log cabin loomed over them, dark and foreboding. Lily stared at it, too tired to get out of the seat. Too tired to wrestle with her irrational fear. Matt wouldn't hurt her, she knew it in her bones, but she felt like her entire life was finally crashing down on her. She'd been running for so long…

  "Lily, look at me," Matt said. He touched her cheek, tracing the tears she hadn’t realized she was shedding. "I know what it feels like to hit the wall. I know. "

  She frowned at him. "You said you have nightmares. "

  He nodded slowly. "I do. Do you know what makes me feel better?"

  She shook her head.

  "Helping you. We've only just met, but already I feel like I've known you forever. When I make you smile, when you let me comfort you, I feel like my life is important again. " His looked at her intently. "Yeah, I used my writing as an outlet before, but that's all it was: a pressure release. Helping you is different. It makes me feel whole again. "

  She pursed her lips. "Sometimes I feel like my entire life is broken. It can be a really nice day, and everything is good and calm and then I see someone pick up a mug or call out to someone and my heart starts pounding. "

  He rubbed her temples soothingly. "A panic attack. "

  "Yeah. I hate it. " She took a deep breath, let it out. "You promise you're sure? I'm not your responsibility. I'm a grown woman. I'll be all right. "

  He smiled, eyes bright even in the dark. "I'm positive. I'm a grown man. I know what I want. " He ran a thumb over her lips. "I want you. And I know you'll be all right, because you'll be right next to me where I can make sure that anyone who tries to hurt you pays for it. "

  Oh my God, did he really just say that? she thought faintly. It was nearly a declaration of love, and they'd just met a little over a week ago. She remembered what her mother used to say though: When it comes to people, Lily, sometimes you just know who's good and who's not. From the moment she'd met Matt, she'd known he was a good man. She'd seen it in his face with his first smile. She experienced it every time he touched her.

  She closed her eyes and leaned into his hands, trusting that he'd support her. He kissed her forehead, then her lips. Lily's heart tripped again, this time as arousal began its slow burn through her senses. "God, Matt, don't stop. "

  He growled. "I won't. " He undid his seatbelt, then hers, and hauled her across the bench seat until she was sprawled in his lap. The steering wheel dug into her spine, but Lily didn't care. She kissed him frantically, no longer tired. She needed more. She wanted to crawl inside him and never come up for air.

  "Lily—" he gasped, sliding his hands up under her tank top. She felt her bra go, then he pulled off her shirt. He latched onto a nipple and sucked hard. She groaned, scrabbling at the shirt he'd borrowed from his brother.

  "Off," she said, yanking it out of his pants. "Take this off. "

  He obeyed, tossing it across the dash. Lily attacked his jeans, unzipping them almost savagely. When his cock sprang out, she slid down to the floor and took him into her mouth before he could stop her.

  "Holy fuck," he muttered, hands clenching in her hair.

  Lily smiled around his erection, loving that she could make him so crazy. She licked around the crown, over and over until his hips jerked. He was so big, she had trouble fitting him inside, so instead she used her hands to jack him slowly as she scrubbed her tongue along the skin. She fondled his balls and he tried to open his legs wider, but his jeans trapped him.

  "Lily, God, you're killing me. Come back up here," he said, dragging her up until she was perched on his lap. "You're overdressed. " He pulled at the rest of her clothes until she wiggled out of them. "You're so fucking wet," he murmured, slipping a finger down to play with her clit.

  Lily squirmed, needing more. "Matt, please. Don't fool around, not now. "

  He chuckled and lifted her up. The moment his cock touched her pussy they both froze.

  "Shit, no condom," he said, still not moving. His hands were like iron bands on her waist.

  Lily bit her lip and relaxed a little, just enough to slip the head of his shaft inside. "I don't care. " Strangely, the thought of getting pregnant with his child didn't bother her at all. She'd never wanted kids, and Jack knew that and never pushed for it, but now, suddenly, she felt a weird ache in the pit of her gut when she thought about never having a family again. If she had a child, though, she wouldn’t be alone anymore.

  "Are you sure?" Matt asked her.

  She swallowed. "Only if you are. " She couldn’t make this decision without his agreement. That wouldn’t be right. She eased up a little, preparing to climb off of him.

  His face went through so many different expressions she couldn't figure out what he was thinking, but then he smiled, slow and steady. "I’m sure. " He thrust gently and she gasped as her body accommodated his girth. He was still huge, but she was very, very wet and she wanted him very, very badly. She grabbed his shoulders and forced herself down, savoring the heat of him as he rubbed against her throbbing clit.

  "Yeah, that's it, baby," he said, hands moving to cup her ass.

  She looked down, shocked at how much the sight of their bodies joined aroused her. In a split second she went from deeply aroused right to the edge of orgasm. "Matt, I'm so close. "

  "Let go," he murmured, kissing up her neck.

  She shuddered and he put a hand on her mound, thumb slipping over all the right places just right. She cried out as pleasure rushed through her, hot and crazy. She climaxed, and Matt's hips jerked, sensing it. He thrust once, twice, then he came, too, face twisted into a harsh grimace. She hung on as he arched his spine, grinding his dick into her so hard she knew the hand on her ass would leave bruises. She didn't care.

  When they finally stopped panting, Lily chuckled.

  "What?" he asked, arms coiled around her waist. He cradled her against his body.

  "I can't believe we did that," she said, kissing his shoulder. "We're in your brother's truck. "

  He laughed. "Alex won't mind. Especially if we never tell him. Which we won’t. "

  She grinned and kissed him again, this time on the lips. "Never ever. My lips are sealed. "

  Matt snorted, then the smile slipped from his face. "No condoms. "

  Lily's heart gave a sick thump. She hoped he wasn't upset about it now. She instinctively clenched her inner muscles, trying to hold onto him. She wanted his child. She buried her face in his neck, not wanting to see the regret in his eyes.

  Matt shivered under her touch, still semi-erect and firmly lodged inside her. "No, don't worry, Lily. I’m not upset. Not at all. " He hugged her, hips beginning to move again as his cock hardened again. "I want this. I want you. " He tipped her head up. "And I know it's insane, but I'd love it if you had our child. "
r />   He's serious, Lily thought, examining his expression. His eyes were dark with emotion. "You mean it. "

  He smiled suddenly. "I do. I'm forty-three and I'm not getting any younger. I want you to stay here with me, Lily. "

  "Jesus, Matt, you sure know how to just go for it, don't you?" She laughed, heart suddenly light.

  He leisurely fucked into her, kissing the side of her breast. "I'm an ex-SEAL, remember? I once jumped out of planes for a living. "

  "Yeah," she gasped as his groin bumped into hers. "I remember. No way to forget that. " She ran her hands over his well-developed muscles, enjoying the smoothness of his skin. "Fuck me, Matt. Come on. "

  He shifted in the seat, then abruptly lifted her off of him.

  "What? No, come back," she said, reaching out.

  "These jeans have got to go," he said, shoving them down over his hips.

  Lily trailed her hands over his back, admiring the view. When he was naked, he turned to her and grabbed her hand.

  "Come with me," he said.

  "What? We're stark naked," she cried as he pulled her out of the truck. "And I have no shoes on," she muttered, gingerly stepping onto the dirt track.

  "That’s okay," he said, swinging her into his arms.

  "Oh my God, Matt, put me down! I weigh a ton. "

  "Don't be silly," he said, easily carrying her. "You're not heavy at all. " The muscles in his biceps flexed gorgeously.

  Holy shit, he's strong, she thought, not for the first time. She wound her arms around his neck. "Where are we going?"

  "You'll see," he said, taking off down a path she could hardly even tell was there.

  A minute later, he walked out onto a deck that looked out over a deep valley. The sun was just peeping over the horizon, painting the view with a lovely pink luminescence. When Lily looked up, she gasped. "That's your house?"

  He nodded, still not putting her down. "Yes. This is the lower deck. " He walked to a bench and set her down on the cushion. "I'm going to make love to you right here, as the sun rises. "

  Lily sank into the soft pillow and blinked back tears. "I must be dreaming. "

  "Oh baby, I promise, I’m real. You’re really here. I know you've had it rough. You deserve better. " He went down on his knees, propping her up against some more pillows. "I want to make you so happy you can't remember what it was like to be sad. "

  Before Lily could respond to that incredible statement, he dipped his head in between her legs and kissed her right on her clit. Matt teased her until she couldn't sit still, couldn't think. She twined her hands in his hair and hung on, not even flinching when he slipped a finger into her pussy.

  "This okay?" he asked.

  Is he joking? she wondered, shivering as he wrung waves of pleasure from her body. Of course it was okay! "Yes," she managed, and he slipped his finger from her pussy and teased at her asshole until she thought she'd go mad. When he slipped in her anus, she moaned, caught between wanting more and feeling completely overwhelmed. He mouthed at her clit some more, and then he knelt up on the bench, fingers still working.

  "Yeah, that's it, Lily. You're mine," he murmured.

  She clung to him, hips moving. "Matt, please—"

  "Please, what?"

  She forced her eyes open. The rising sun painted his face with gold. Lily'd never seen anyone so beautiful—golden eyes, golden skin, muscles taut and rippling above her. "Please fuck me," she said, digging her fingers into his biceps. "Matt, please. I need you. "

  He pressed his forehead to hers. "You've got me," he said, and took himself in hand, pressing his cock-head against her. "Ready?"

  She nodded, fluttering her internal muscles around the finger in her ass. He flexed his hips and slid inside her pussy with one, swift stroke. He began to fuck her, hard and fast, one hand on her hip, the other still working her ass. She wasn't sure she could stand it—everything felt so good. So intense. When the sun finally hit her face, she climaxed, unable to hold back against the pounding of his body into hers. He was big and strong and knew exactly what to do to drive her insane. She thought she screamed, but he didn't seem to care. She curled her legs around his hips and held on. Matt froze, then fucked her even harder until he came, too: head thrown back, teeth clenched. When he finally collapsed on top of her, breathing hard, Lily gently ran her hands along his back.

  I think I’m in love, she thought very quietly to herself. The sun rose over them. Soon enough, Matt’s warmth lulled her back to sleep.

  Chapter Six

  "Look, Alex, we're not coming down to town. Just gather up the rest of her stuff for me and bring it to my place. " Matt pinched the bridge of his nose. He loved his brother, but sometimes the man drove him crazy. "All this shit happened in the middle of the night and Lily is finally asleep. She’s been dealing with crap like this for years. I'm not waking her up. "

  "Harry wants to talk to her," Alex said.

  The tiny speaker on the phone made his brother's normal baritone difficult to hear. Matt pressed the phone to his ear harder.

  "I don't care what Harry wants. He's an ass. You know that. Tell him we'll see him maybe tomorrow. " Matt wondered if his exasperation was coming through clearly enough. If not, he'd make sure to emphasize it next time he saw Alex. With a sharp smack to the back of his head.

  Alex sighed, loudly enough that Matt heard even over the bad connection. "Fine. You owe me for this one. "

  "Yeah, whatever. Just like you owed me for that Mustang enthusiast I sent your way a few months ago. How much business did that net you?" He could sense his brother's irritation from miles away.

  "You suck," Alex responded.

  "Thanks, bro. Love you too. " Matt smiled and brought the phone down, killing the connection. He glanced down the hall. The entire back of his house had floor to ceiling windows that lit the kitchen, the living room, and his bedroom. The space was awash with light now that it was nearly noon, illuminating the living room over a half-wall.

  After they'd made love on his lower deck, Matt had carried the sleeping Lily up from outside and tucked her into his bed. She'd woken slightly, but when he assured her she was safe, she'd snuggled her head into his neck and gone right back to sleep. He'd been struck dumb by that simple, unconscious gesture of trust. He tucked the memory of that moment into a corner of his brain, savoring it.

  She looks good in my bed, he thought, walking down the hall. He'd curled in behind her and slept for a few hours. When he'd woken, she'd still been deeply asleep, so he pulled on an old pair of jeans and went to the kitchen to make some coffee. He suspected that she hadn't been getting enough rest, probably hadn’t been for a very long time. He watched her for a while, still amazed that she'd let him make love to her without a condom. He couldn't believe that the thought of her growing big with their child didn't freak him out, but for some reason he felt strangely calm about the idea.

  He leaned against the doorjamb, gazing into the room. She looks good in my home, he mused, wanting to wake her up so he could hold her, but not wanting to disturb her. The door wasn't latched, so all he had to do was walk in, but he hesitated as the memory of the intruders barging into Lily's room flashed across his mind.

  Shit. He rubbed his face as a sharp pain flared in his temples. What was he doing, bringing her to his house like this? She wasn't safe here. If they found out where he lived—

  He put his hand on the wall and leaned his forehead on his wrist, willing himself to just breathe. Flashes of taking down the men who'd threatened her threaded through older memories: swimming in an icy sea, ducking gunfire behind an embankment, infiltrating a desert cave that supposedly held an American student but instead held only death. His heart gave a hard thump, then began pounding so hard he thought he might pass out. Sparkles crashed across his vision. His arms grew clammy.

  Fuck, he muttered, clenching his fist. Breathe, you idiot. In and out, slow and easy… He forced his mind to slow down, focus on one thing only: the rising sun over the trees. He didn't let anything
else in, until the sudden image of Lily lying against his arm, face peaceful, interfered with his usual meditative fix. Her face helped even more than trees and sunlight. He breathed some more, letting his heart rate settle before straightening up. It had been so long since he'd had one of these stupid flashbacks… It must have been the men going for Lily that triggered this, he thought, scrubbing a hand through his hair brutally.

  "Matt?" a soft voice intruded. He looked up. Lily stood in the doorway, wearing only his shirt and her sleep-mussed brown hair. She frowned at him worriedly.

  "I'm okay," he said quietly, eyeing the way her breasts moved under the fabric. She was so fucking gorgeous and didn't even know it. He inhaled sharply, immediately struck with an arousal so hot, his cock went hard in the space of a heartbeat. She looked amazing in his shirt. His eyes drifted down her curves until he saw her toes curling against the floor. He swallowed, forcing himself to calm down. Goddammit, his emotions were all over the place suddenly.

  "You looked really stressed," she murmured, putting a hand on his arm.

  He shrugged. "I'm okay," he repeated, more firmly.

  "What happened?" Her thumb traced circles on his skin.

  Even that simple touch enflamed him, but Matt looked at her stubborn expression and knew she wouldn't welcome sex right now, not that he blamed her. He wouldn't want to fool around if he was worried about her, either. Her expression told him she wasn't going to let this go. He steeled himself. Suck it up and don't be a coward about this. He owed her an explanation.

  "I have anxiety attacks, sometimes. I remember some bad stuff, and it makes me worry about what's happening now, even when it's nothing," he said quietly.

  She chewed on her lip. "It's not nothing, though. "

  She had a point. "True. But we're safe here. " He put a hand over hers, stilling her random movements. He wanted to kiss her, take her up against the wall…

  "You thought we weren't safe?" she asked.

  He sighed and nudged the bedroom door open with his bare foot. "I worried we weren't, but that's just my paranoia talking. " He tugged her inside the bedroom with him.