Butterfly

by Ashley Antoinette

  “So you know, you can’t pull up here and not get out to speak. Ethic doesn’t receive disrespect very well,” she said.

  Meek blew out a breath of angst, then climbed from the car. “I don’t know if I’m welcome inside, Mo. Everything ain’t kosher with Ethic. The nigga don’t forget a face or a motive. My motives weren’t always good.”

  “Meek, I wouldn’t have brought you here if I didn’t trust you. It’s fine,” she said.

  She turned, and he followed her up to the massive brick home. She used her key to enter.

  “I’m back!” she called out.

  Alani hobbled into the room, carrying Yara in her arms. Her swollen face and round belly made Morgan smile. Pregnancy was doing a number on Alani but she radiated.

  “Why’d you have to come so early? We wanted the day with them. We were going to take them to the zoo,” Alani said.

  “I swear, you and Ethic are such an old couple.” Morgan snickered. “Just like grandparents, I tell you.”

  “Well, somebody made us grandparents early as hell,” Ethic stated, swaggering into the room. He pulled Yara from Alani’s arms. “She’s too heavy for you, baby. The doctor said take it easy.”

  “I’ve been taking it easy, Ethic. I can carry her just fine. I won’t break,” Alani answered. She looked to Mo. “Your dad is going to drive me crazy with this pregnancy.”

  Morgan smiled because she knew that Ethic’s protection could border on controlling, but with all the couple had been through, she also knew Ethic was afraid of losing another child. He would never say it, but she knew it. She could feel his tension, she could interpret the permanent lines that creased his forehead. She noticed the way his eyes locked in on Alani, following her around the room waiting, anticipating, her need for his protection. She knew him. He would be on edge until Alani gave birth. If anything went wrong with this pregnancy, it would be a devastating blow to their entire family, but no one would feel it like Alani.

  “Ethic, this is—”

  “I know who he is,” Ethic deadpanned. “Why is he in my house? Why are you in his possession?” Ethic held no punches. There were no niceties spoken, no hospitality granted when there were none felt.

  Morgan looked Ethic square in his eyes, one of few people who had the ability to do so … to bypass the intimidation and stand their ground. He had taught her that. To look a person in their eyes.

  “He’s my friend, Ethic. He’ll be where I am sometimes.” She wrapped a hand around his waist and put her head to his shoulder. “Be nice.”

  Meek extended his hand. “Good to see you, man. Long time.”

  “Long time? I’ve never seen you,” Ethic answered without acknowledging Meek’s hand. He kissed the side of Morgan’s head. “Where’s the corny nigga? Bash?” he gruffed.

  Morgan turned red. It was clear Ethic didn’t approve of this new friendship.

  “Ezra…” Alani was the leash on Ethic’s gangster. She kept it in check. Kept him reeled in, because if she let him off it, he wandered out the yard—and when that happened, it was dangerous for everyone. So she kept him on her porch, loving him, so he wouldn’t be provoked to do harm.

  “Call me when you get home; let me know you made it safe,” Ethic stated. He stopped at the threshold. He turned, marking Ahmeek with his glare. “Fucking get them home safe. You trying to fill shoes that ain’t made for you, homie. One scuff and—”

  Messari ran into the room, interrupting Ethic’s clear threat. Children were the perfect tension breakers, and Morgan thanked God for timing.

  “Mommy!”

  “Mommy’s Ssari!” Morgan just beamed whenever her son was in her presence. Her twins were day and night. While Yara’s love was soft, Messari loved her hard … his love was like his father’s, and Morgan needed that more than her son could ever understand. “Pop-Pop says him takings us to the soo.” Messari both signed and spoke the words.

  “Pop-Pop is an old grumpy man, so Mommy’s going to take you.” Morgan both signed and spoke as well. It was important to never leave Yara out of their interactions, so they spoke dual languages all the time.

  Alani snickered, and Ethic lifted one side of his mouth in a half frown, half smirk, to show his disdain as he swiped a hand behind his head, rubbing stress away. Always so serious.

  “Thanks for keeping them,” Morgan said. Alani wobbled over to the closet and pulled out the twins’ diaper bag and then handed it to Ahmeek.

  “I’ll unlock the door to the truck so you can grab the car seats,” Alani said. Ahmeek took the bag, nodded, and opened the door for Morgan, standing back so she could ease out first. Messari held her hand, and Yara was in her arms.

  “Yo, Ahmeek Harris…”

  Ethic’s voice stalled, and everyone turned, surprised that Ethic was addressing Meek at all. Alani reached for Ethic’s hand, lacing her fingers through his, and Morgan waited, holding her breath.

  “Walk light,” he said.

  Ahmeek nodded in full understanding. Ethic was displeased with his presence, with his relationship with Morgan—whatever it may be—and he had been warned. Fuck up and there would be repercussions. Morgan and Ahmeek made their exit.

  “That could have been worse, right?” she asked, snickering as Ahmeek escorted her to the car. Ahmeek shook his head and finessed the side of his face, brows lifted from the pressure of it all.

  “I’ve never held my tongue for a nigga a day in my life, but a nigga like his tongue. I’d like to do a few more things with it before Ethic rips it out.”

  Morgan laughed aloud and paused to wait while Ahmeek opened the door to Ethic’s Range Rover to retrieve the safety seats. He managed the load with ease and opened the back door to his car for her.

  He installed the car seats, and then Morgan loaded her kids inside before climbing into the passenger seat. He was patient, waiting to close her door before entering the car himself.

  “The zoo?”

  Morgan placed shocked eyes on him. “Meek, you don’t have to. I can take them. Seriously. There’s a zoo like fifteen minutes from my place. This isn’t your job.”

  “It’s no problem, Mo. I already canceled niggas today. You have me at your disposal. Besides two car seats, that big-ass stroller, diaper bags, and two babies. That has to be hard. I’m help. Accept help. Use me, Morgan Atkins.”

  10

  “When’s the last time you’ve been to the zoo, Meek?” she asked as she climbed out of the car.

  Ahmeek shrugged. “Shit, never.”

  Morgan lifted Yara out of her seat and looked at him, stunned. “Really? Never? How is that even possible?” She frowned.

  “Last thing I remember about the zoo is my fourth-grade field trip. I wanted to go, but it was twenty dollars and my mama didn’t have the shit, so I couldn’t go. I remember feeling fucked up over it, and by the time I got my bread up to take myself, I was too old for the shit. I just never got around to it.”

  “So, your first time at the zoo is with me,” she said, smiling. “We’ve got to make sure you have a good time, then. Create a memory or two. Can you grab him, please? They’ll have a wagon we can rent inside.”

  “Come on, man,” Ahmeek groaned as he bent down to pick up Messari.

  He lifted the toddler onto his shoulder, and the foursome headed inside. Messari beat on Ahmeek’s head like it was a drum, and Ahmeek took every lick, grimacing, as Messari’s hands went to work. When he felt the moisture from the teething two-year-old hit his head, he laughed. He lifted Messari from his neck and flipped him over his shoulder, eliciting laughter. “Yo, homie, I’m trying to be cool in front of a pretty girl, and you drooling all over a playa,” Ahmeek said, lifting Messari into the air and looking up at him. Messari laughed from his vantage point as Meek shook him playfully.

  Morgan smiled as Yara rested on her hip. Yara patted Morgan in excitement and pointed across the courtyard at a peacock casually strolling by.

  “That’s a peacock, Yolly Pop,” Morgan both signed and spoke. “Can y
ou show me the sign for bird?”

  Yara’s little hands moved on cue, and Morgan beamed. “That’s right. Now you both try peacock,” she said, repeating the sign.

  “Beacock!” Messari yelled while signing.

  Yara signed the word, and Morgan pursed her lips. “Give Mama kiss,” she signed. Yara leaned in and pressed her lips to Morgan’s before wrapping tiny arms around Mo’s neck.

  “They’re smart as hell, Mo. Did you know sign language at two?” Meek asked, looking on in amazement.

  Morgan nodded. “My parents found out I was deaf when I was born. Everyone in my family learned from that day forward,” she said. “Most people would be sad about having a daughter who’s deaf. I love it. I connect with my baby so much, but I also know what it feels like, so I can pour all the confidence into her in the world. I can do things that my parents missed and that Ethic missed because he couldn’t fully understand how I felt inside.”

  “She’s a lucky little girl,” Meek said.

  “No, I’m a lucky mom. I just want to do the very best job I can with them because they were made out of love.”

  His brows lifted, and Morgan’s heart plummeted. She hadn’t meant to let that out. “We can rent the wagon here,” Morgan whispered, changing the subject. She rushed to the window. “Hi, can we get one of the double wagons, please?” she asked.

  Ahmeek removed his wallet and put a platinum Amex on the booth countertop.

  “I’ve got it, Ahmeek,” she said, sliding his card back to him and pulling out her own.

  “Yo, Morgan, you got me real fucked up, love,” he said, snickering as he removed her card from the counter and slid it in his back pocket. He pushed his card forward. “I’ll give it back to you after the day is over. Fucking pulling out your money when you’re with me…” He said it like he was disgusted, like he was offended. “You know better.” He leaned back and looked Messari in his eyes. “Your mama showing out, homie,” he said.

  Morgan smirked and then placed Yara in the wagon as Ahmeek bent down to place Messari next to her. Yara reached for him.

  “Yolly Pop, you have to sit, okay?” Morgan signed and said.

  Yara’s bottom lip bulged as her eyes welled with tears. She was so accustomed to getting her way. She was so pretty that everyone always doted, always spoiled her.

  “How the fuck can you say no to that?” Meek asked, scooping Yara.

  Morgan chuckled. “Her and that lip. She’s a master manipulator. When she gets heavy, you’ll put her down.”

  Yara smiled and held on to Meek’s neck, hugging him tightly before sitting up in his arms and pointing ahead.

  “I guess she’s the boss,” Meek said, then headed in that direction.

  Morgan grabbed the handle of the wagon and pulled Messari as she walked next to Ahmeek. He wrapped his free arm around Morgan’s shoulder and pulled her toward him, kissing the side of her head before releasing her.

  She turned to him, shocked, and her feet halted like someone had put her in park.

  They stood there in the middle of the path as people maneuvered around them. She stared at him, eyes peering into him, heart fluttering, stomach sinking, common sense leaving.

  “You’re going to ruin my life,” she said. “I can see it coming.”

  His eyes melted in amusement, warming at her assumption, and he ran the pinkest tongue Morgan had ever seen across his chocolate lips. He trapped his bottom lip between white teeth. “Nah, I can’t see that.”

  “I don’t think you’ll mean to, but I know better than to expect anything else. I didn’t know better before. I know better now. So whatever this is—”

  “It’s friendship, Mo. It’s an apology. It’s a blessing.”

  “A blessing for me to have you in my life, huh? You’re cocky, Ahmeek. Who says I’m staying? Who says I want you here?” she asked.

  “A blessing for me, Mo,” he answered, disarming her.

  “Bears, Mommy! Bears!” Messari shouted. Morgan stole her eyes away from Ahmeek, struggling to focus on her son as she glanced back to him. Yara placed her hands on the sides of Ahmeek’s cheeks, and he inflated them for her, only for her to squeeze the air right back out. Morgan blushed. His ability to be childish for her kids, to be patient as they drooled on him and probed him curiously, made Morgan smile.

  “Okay, baby boy, let’s go see some polar bears,” she said.

  They moved through the exhibit, balancing two kids, diaper changes, snack time, a few temper tantrums, and grape juice spilled down the front of Ahmeek’s Burberry shirt. He didn’t seem to mind. The smile never left his face, and the patience never dissipated from his tone. Yara stayed tucked in Ahmeek’s arms, and as she grew sleepy, she refused to lie in the wagon. Instead, she made a pillow of Ahmeek’s shoulder, forcing him to carry her the entire time as Messari dragged Morgan around the entire zoo.

  As they made their way back toward the exit, a man dressed in stripes approached them. “Would you like your picture taken?”

  Morgan picked up Messari as Meek stepped aside. “Say Mommy’s Ssari!” Morgan baited.

  Messari practically leaped out of her arms. “Mommy’s Ssari!” they both screamed, eyes bright, smiles wide.

  “Now let’s get Dad and the sleeping beauty in the picture,” the man said, motioning for Ahmeek to join in. “You have such a beautiful family. We’ve got to get a group shot.”

  “Oh, he’s not … we’re not…”

  Morgan felt her face flush as she turned to Meek. “I’m sorry. You totally don’t have to.” Ahmeek stepped up and gripped her chin.

  “It’s just a picture, Morgan. It’s fine,” he said, calming her.

  She nodded.

  “Say cheese!” the photographer baited.

  Morgan felt Ahmeek’s hand loop her waist, and she held Messari on her hip as she leaned into him and smiled.

  “Beautiful!” the photographer said. He handed her a ticket. “You can purchase the photos on the way out.”

  “Yo, my man, can you take another one?” Meek asked, sliding the man a hundred-dollar bill and his phone. Morgan tucked herself right beneath Meek, and Messari kissed her cheek. The man snapped it at the perfect time. Morgan was mid-laugh and absolutely stunning.

  “Good man,” Meek complimented, shaking the man’s hand and giving him a firm pat on the back. Meek sent the picture to Morgan’s phone and then tucked his in his pocket.

  “I should get them home,” she said.

  They made the long trek to the car, laughing and talking. Morgan couldn’t believe how carefree it felt. He was like a cool breeze on a scorching summer day. She had never seen him be so lighthearted. Ahmeek the street king had a weakness for little girls who smelled like baby magic, little boys who liked to roughhouse, and sweaty mothers who had frizzy edges and swollen feet.

  They stopped for one more diaper change before loading up and heading home. When they arrived, Ahmeek walked Morgan upstairs. The twins were grumpy and exhausted, causing a ruckus as they went straight to the living room where their toy chest was located.

  “I’m going to give them a bath and put them to bed. You can stay if you want. We can finish season one of Grey’s? I mean, you don’t have to. I know you’re busy, and I’ve taken up your entire day, but—”

  “I’ve got to spin through the hood, Mo. Money can wait, but it normally don’t. When I’m done, I’ll call you, if that’s cool with you. Can I call you?” he asked.

  “I don’t really do easy, Ahmeek. Calling is easy. Texting is easier. I’m with the face-to-face. I need to see your eyes when you tell me something, so I can see if it’s bullshit,” she said. He heard her resentment. It wasn’t caused by him, but it was certainly aimed at him. Morgan didn’t trust people … men in particular, and he knew why.

  “I don’t bullshit,” he answered. “When I tell you something, you better believe it’s bond. Give me your phone.”

  She rolled her eyes and took her phone out of her crossbody purse. He FaceTimed himself, then a
nswered.

  “Face-to-face,” he said. “You can play Grey’s while I shoot this move. Give me the play-by-play, so I don’t miss shit.”

  She blushed, then a smirk spread on her face as she stubbornly snatched her phone. “That’s technically not face-to-face.”

  “The fuck it ain’t,” he protested. He held up the phone and backpedaled. When he was at the door, Yara came running in his direction, crying. She was already attached. Ahmeek had spoiled her all day. Yara had found a new sucker. Ahmeek’s heart melted as he bent to pick her up.

  Baby Yara put her head on Ahmeek’s chest, and he rocked her side to side.

  “Now I’ve got two pretty girls giving me a hard time about leaving,” he said. “Y’all Atkins girls don’t play fair.”

  Morgan smiled and lowered her eyes to her feet. “I’m being a brat. I know. I’m used to getting my way.” She pulled a resistant Yara from his arms. “Thanks for keeping us company.”

  “Anytime, Mo. It was a good time. I’ve been chasing paper since I was twelve years old. Never really took the time to do something so simple. It felt easy.”

  “Yeah, it did, didn’t it?” she whispered. They stared at each other, wondering, resisting, trying to figure out how he had become the one walking her to her door at night and gazing into her eyes. “Good night.”

  “Night,” he said.

  He stepped over her threshold and turned. Morgan closed and locked the door, then leaned against it as she kissed the top of Yara’s head.

  “Mommy’s playing with fire,” she whispered. She headed toward the bathroom. “Come on, Ssari. Bath time.”

  Morgan ran her babies a bath and then put them to bed.

  “I wuv you, Mommy,” Messari said and signed.

  “I love you most, Messari,” she returned. She looked at Yara. “Love you to the moon, Yolly Pop.”

  “Love you,” Yara signed.

  Morgan pulled out a book and leaned back in the rocking chair that sat between their twin beds. She opened it and signed while reading the words. Like usual, Yara’s eyes closed first, and her stubborn boy lasted an entire half hour longer before giving in to sleep. Her phone rang, and Morgan jumped at the loud noise. She hustled out of their room. She couldn’t stop the smile that spread across her face when saw the name … Ahmeek Harris. When had he become the one to make her smile like this? Better yet, how had he become the one to make her smile like this? She pressed the green button, and his face popped up on her screen.