Exile's Return

by Rebecca Mickley

  Ferreting out my harness, I slipped it on, clipped it and then pulled with my teeth to cinch it home. Being a snowshoe hare, as much as I am at least, you have to learn how to deal with limitations in dexterity. The lower one gave me less trouble, and I stretched and tried to adjust to the unfamiliar restriction. I slid off the voice collar that the captain had given me and took its power module, sliding it into the purple collar that held my service tags and my identity disk. Checking to see that I had everything, I dusted my paws a couple of times and began to head for the door.

  I caught my tiny mirror on the way out. How long had it been since I last looked? My fur was un-groomed and tussled, I looked like a wild animal, and I realized I had been living as one for a while now. Not much about me was different, aside from my wild appearance, still about 1.2 meters tall if you counted my ears. I’d really stand out among my feral cousins, since I was almost three times their size. I smoothed down my fur, self-conscious, and wiggled my stubby, almost useless paw-like fingers through my fur. I was about as non-morphic as they came, but rudimentary thumbs were useful even though mine still heavily limited me; I often ended up using my muzzle.

  I looked back from my mirror, and towards the door. It shook me out of my reflection and refocused me on my hate. God, I hated them, I didn't want to go with them, but he had outlined it well, I had little choice, I could choose a little time now or the rest of my existence. It was logical but it didn't stop hate from welling back up within my soul. I could feel my forepaws trembling, and dammit I didn't want to go quietly, but it was the only way, the only way I could get back here was to do their bidding. I sighed, letting old habits and old memories take over and teach me how to be. There was so much different now, and so much still the same.

  I thought back to the Lt. Commander, and what he had said. Aside from leaving, it didn’t sound so bad. They wanted me to talk to the Mendians, and then I could come back, no problems. Now, I didn't trust them to really keep their word, but if all they needed me for was to talk, maybe it would be as easy as it seemed. Something inside told me he was sincere when he talked about making it easy for me. If I was stuck, I was stuck. I just had to press on, get it done and get back home. Just a short mission, surely I could handle that.

  Chapter 2

  Heading through the forest, the next few hours passed quietly as we made our way through the world that was my home. My paws deftly navigated the uneven ground silently, but his boots made twigs snap and leaves rustle. The silence of the forest rang out and carried the air of a church. I was the only true inhabitant of the entire world. No animal life had ever been found here, and that suited me fine. Centioc One was a unique world. The biosphere was rich with plant life of all types but animals had apparently never evolved. In the spring the planet exploded with flowers of colors and shapes that were almost not to be believed. Valleys became heavy with the scent of pollen, and everywhere dandelion-like seed pods floated about. The forests were full of trees that spread by root systems, not by seeds, like giant woody vines. It was the perfect world for an herbivore. Here, I was the apex predator, and completely at peace.

  Centioc had a dimmer star than Earth, which made the nights darker and the days cooler. As a result, the plants had evolved a different respiration system than those back on Earth. The nighttime cycle of plants reabsorbed some of the oxygen produced during the day, part of a particular balance that kept the atmosphere from becoming an ignitable fireball, waiting for the perfect lightning strike.

  There was no chance of predators, but what was going on with my would-be prison guard was fascinating. I could smell him sweating through his cologne; he was nervous even though he knew there was nothing to fear. The quiet solemnity of the world was getting to him.

  My voice cracked the silence with an effect similar to thunder.

  "Awfully quiet, isn't it?" I grinned. He smelled like fear, even through his cologne. I felt a smug satisfaction at his torment.

  I saw him start at the sudden interjection of speech. He stumbled into a giant flower, and his clean and starched uniform became covered in pollen as he spoke. "How do you handle this? Not even a bird, or anything other than wind. It’s eerie."

  "It's rather easy for me Commander, but for you, it seems that tough guy routine was just an act," I said, but more for his benefit than mine. He seemed so much more manageable now, without the pistol in his hand.

  "I bet you find this damned amusing." The conversation obviously took his mind off the quiet of the forest.

  I stopped as a sudden realization struck me. His pistol wasn’t drawn. I could run! I could make a break for it. Every muscle in my body tensed as I sniffed at the air. My legs felt like coiled springs. I could be off and yards away before he could even get his gun out of the holster. This could be my shot!

  I was just about to make a break for it when reality set back in. He could track me. I was the only animal life on this planet besides him. There was no doubt his transport was equipped with enough sensors and gizmos to track me down. I could lead a good chase but in the end he would find me. I sighed deeply, and tried to put it out of my mind.

  “So why the threats? Why all the bravado?” I asked, genuinely curious.

  “I had to get you to come back. You know how it works, orders are orders. If it means anything, I don't like taking you from here any more than you do, but it’s not my decision. Things have changed since you left, Snow. Things are tense between us and the Mendians. You can’t expect Alliance Command to turn down an opportunity like this,” he said, sounding genuine. “I'm on a short schedule, and I expected you to be stubborn. I wouldn't think someone who would maroon themselves on a planet like this would be happy to see anything in a uniform, and besides, it worked, here you are.”

  “Yes, here we are. I am host to the brave conqueror of the galaxy, the UEA soldier, as he quakes in his boots on a nature hike,” I said, goading him.

  "I could stun you, but then I'd have to deal with this god damned forest again," he said. "Still, the ship’s only about five minutes out in a clearing. I think I may be able to handle it."

  "The choice is yours, brave leader. I mean, I could always use a nap." If I had the muscles, I would have smirked but decided to lapse into silence instead.

  I could see the clearing, and through the trees that obscured the view I could see silver glimmers of light. Gradually a large and impressive craft came into focus, a beautiful and sleek design that had the appearance of quicksilver. It was seamless. There were no visible doors or rivets to be seen. It was the first time I had seen anything made in an Earth port look so organic, so alive. I hopped up to the craft in awe. On the side in simple black lettering along the hull near the smooth and curved windows read L.R.R.C 1.

  "My God, that’s beautiful," I said, my muzzle slightly agape. "What is it made of? I’ve never seen anything like it."

  "Oh, so you’re impressed? This is just our new Long Range Reconnaissance Cruiser wait till you see the actual ship, this is just the appetizer," Charlie replied with a wide grin.

  "Wait a minute, you guys sent a full cruiser out here for me?"

  "No, we sent one of our newest ships in the fleet, The UEA Roam, Wanderer class, and very, very fast. It’s not just a cruiser, it’s the flagship." His words reflected his pride.

  "Just how serious is this, Commander?" I said, feeling the noose tighten further around my neck.

  "You will be fully briefed when we get on board. Now, after you, Madam Ambassador." I caught the smirk, but his eyes showed something serious behind his words.

  "Wait, what?" I looked at him with wide eyes.

  "Like I said, you will be briefed on the ship. Now, after you." He bowed and pulled out a small remote.

  I saw a seam ripple and emerge from the silver hull, and gradually the gap widened as a boarding plank descended from the back of the silver ship to the ground.

  I hopped aboard and found a seat that looked like it was made for me. It looked almost like a normal seat b
ut was a bit smaller, and the cushion was sewn in such a way that I could slide my hind paws into a pocket and a harness would secure me. I was happy to find there was even a space for my tail to not be cramped; still though there was no place to set my forepaws. The arm rests were completely useless to one in my configuration, so I let them hang in what, to many, must have seemed like a cute begging pose as the Commander helped strap me in.

  "There we go Miss. Comfortable?" he said, as he plopped down unceremoniously in his chair and put on his flight headset. "Can I get you something? In-flight carrot?"

  "Stuff it Commander. If I'm an ambassador I outrank you. I'll remind you to watch your tone." I shot him a dirty look and settled down into my seat, stifling a giggle.

  "Message received. Power goes to their heads so quickly when suddenly promoted.” He feigned an exasperated, put-upon look, then got serious again.

  I saw him going through pre-flight checks, my earlier outrage overridden by a piqued curiosity. His computer was testing each system, and I watched as it went from one to another. First it was engines, then it was life support, and then something I had never seen before. It read:

  Higgs Field Manipulator… Nominal… Artificial gravity, engaged.

  I felt a weird but brief pressure and saw a slight distortion of space just beyond that lasted half a second.

  “What was that?” I asked curiously.

  “That, my dear Ambassador, is the latest word in deflector and artificial gravity systems. The Higgs-Field Manipulator.” He sounded almost like a salesman.

  “So, I take it the ships don’t rotate anymore?” I asked, wanting to know more.

  “Some still do, but this is the wave of the future. The LRRC and the Roam are the first two ships designed around the new system.”

  “Fascinating,” I said, lost briefly to the wonder of new technology.

  “Just a moment, I need to call the tower,” he said, setting to his work. "This is Omega-621 LRRC calling UEAS Roam. Mission accomplished, Ambassador on board, requesting permission for lift off and flight path from control."

  "Roger that Omega-621, I have your transponder, sending flight guidance," came the reply from Roam Ops.

  I saw him punch numbers into his touch display, and the quicksilver craft sprang to life. There were no bumps, no shaking, just rising as if gravity were only an afterthought. Slowly it ascended up into the sky, gaining speed at a deceptive rate until suddenly the blue sky parted like a veil. Stars shone out over eternity, the cool blackness of space the perfect backdrop for their quiet brilliance. It took my breath away as it always had. My spirit filled with wonder, and I almost forgot my disappointment, blinded by reverence for the universe that was so vast but gave life to creatures so small. The ship turned, and I saw my world hanging like an ornament against the blacker than night sky with millions of stars blinking herald to untold worlds that lay beyond.

  My first look at the UEA Roam savagely snapped me back to reality and threw me once again to my anxiety and my quiet rage. While the LRRC was sleek and beautiful, the flagship looked like a gray painted monstrosity against the backdrop of black space. It was an ugly halting thing that reminded me again of the gravity of my situation. I was essentially a prisoner, regardless of my position or the comfort they had promised, my assignment was little more than a gilded cage.

  Struggling against emotion and instinct, I fought to keep calm. The morning had been as busy as anything I had experienced in years, and now in the quiet of the moment, with no forest, and the artificial walls closing in around me, I felt panic well up in my throat. My mind briefly drifted to my enlistment contract, signed so many years ago, the words INVOLUNTARY RECALL flashing large and violently through my brain. I thought I had run far enough, changed enough, and now an ugly creeping doubt assaulted me. Would I ever be able to run far enough? Would I ever really be free?

  I curled down on myself, contracting inward. I put my forepaws on my ears and tried to breathe, tried to control how I felt. I didn't dare look up. The Roam would be ever larger in the window. Panic clawed at me, my own mind suddenly my worst enemy. I had to think, I had to get control. I needed an anchor, a focus, something to occupy me. I needed answers.

  "Commander, it's time you answer some questions. Why are you calling me Ambassador? You said you just wanted me to talk to the Mendians, but that is a hell of a lot more official,” I said, watching as he swore quietly under his breath.

  He hesitated, took a deep breath and sighed. "You need to wait until the briefing. You have to understand that I’m not cleared to tell you anything. Just sit tight, you will know soon enough.”

  "God dammit, Commander! I have been very cooperative so far and quite beyond my normal tolerance. So far this morning, you have taken me from my home, thrown me back into a culture I hate, and threatened to shoot me. All I have done in response to this is pack my bags and keep my god damned muzzle shut. You owe me more than this, and you know it! Orders be damned, you don't just show up and wrench people from their homes. I have shown enough cooperation; now it’s time for you to show the same!” I felt my jaw quiver, feeling a strange mix of rage and despair. “Why did you have to do this to me?”

  I cursed my weakness. I had not meant to say that last bit, I hated how vulnerable that made me sound, but I was hurt. It had been so long, and I thought I could finally put this life behind me. Yet like a demon, my past was back again, staring me in the face. My paws shook, my brave facade was cracking, and if it were still part of me to cry, my fur would have been soaked with tears.

  "Please Commander, just tell me. What does Earth need with an astrogator over eight years out of date who isn't even human anymore? I need to know. Can't you understand that? "

  I saw the look in his eyes, and I saw his body language tense up. Clearly he didn't like this either. Perhaps unfairly, my thoughts drifted back to his rough bravado planet side. I remembered his excuse about being on a short schedule, orders being orders, but surely there were other ways, surely there was more to it than that.

  "Look, I'm sorry." He spoke calmly. "I knew this wasn't going to be easy for you, but if we didn't force you, you wouldn't have come. I meant what I said back at your camp. I am going to make this as easy as possible for you. You and I both know it's not going to be ideal, and it's not going to be fun. No one who could survive seven years isolated on an outer rim planet is going to enjoy being thrown back into the mix, but all I can tell you is we didn't have a choice. There was simply no one else. The Mendians asked for you by name,” he said quietly. "Now please, wait for the damn briefing."

  I scrunched down in my seat, doing the best job I could of looking pissed and not fluffy and cute. Charlie seemed to pick up on my body language and spoke.

  “You still mad about all those angry words planet-side?”

  I felt my ears flush, and shot him a cold and steely gaze. “You didn't have to be such a prick, you know!”

  “I know, I know. I'm sorry OK? Especially the gun part, but my back was against the wall. Do you actually think I could have gone back to the Roam, told the Admiral you didn’t want to come and not have my ass in a sling? They would have just locked me in the brig, and warmed up the cell next to me for you,” he replied honestly. “You don’t get to choose your orders.”

  “Fair point,” I said and then tried to change the subject. “Things sound pretty bad on Earth.”

  “Truth is, in some way things are fine. In other ways it seems like the whole shebang is about to come unraveled. There are random attacks on morphics going on, daily protests at the capital. It’s a mess, and in all of this, there are people calling for us to end our alliance with the Mendians.” I watched him punch some numbers into the console. He seemed genuinely distracted and worried about what was going on back on Earth.

  “And out of the blue the Mendians just asked for me? How long had it been since the last official transmission?” My curiosity as well as some distant concern had me asking questions about home.

  �
��Since you left? Let's see, first contact was 2071, you shifted in 2073 and left for Centioc. So seven years then,” he said, counting the years.

  “What was the message?”

  “I am afraid you are going to have to wait for the meeting Ambassador, because I haven’t been fully briefed yet. All I know is, they asked for you by name.”

  “What name did they use?”

  “Both,” he replied. “John and Snow Dawkins”

  I felt a chill run through my spine; somehow, the Mendians had kept tabs on me.

  “Now its time for me to ask a question,” the Commander said. “Do you have any idea why the Mendians want you?”

  I racked my brain, trying to figure it out. Ten years ago I had been on the first contact team as an astrogator, but I was involved in no negotiations and nothing more important than verifying star charts. Then, out of the blue I had a thought.

  “Commander, tell me, am I the only one of the contact team who has shifted?” I asked quickly.

  “I think so actually,” he hummed thoughtfully. “Do you really think that could be it?”

  “I don't know, but I was just an astrogator, I didn't handle anything diplomatic. The only thing I can think of is that I shifted,” I replied.

  “Maybe so. I guess we're going to have to wait to find out. They do love their Path of the Other.” I saw a light blink on his console and he tapped a few keys. “We'll have to talk more later, we’re on final approach. Welcome to the UEA Roam,” the Commander said.

  "Omega-621, on final approach, tower, requesting permission to land,” he announced, shaking me out of my deeper thinking.

  My new home loomed large in the window. Earth ships of my time were very long. This was a symptom of needing large Helium-3 tanks to fuel the fusion reactors that powered the ion drive engines and the ship. The Roam was obviously something new. She had no helium tanks visible and she possessed a boxy design. It seemed in my absence ship design had leaped forward immensely. The ship was angular and wider than any craft I had ever served on in my UEA days. Looking back though, I could see the Tri-Bell thrusters in their housing that ships had always had. It seemed strange-looking on the futuristic craft, like a drop of familiarity in an ocean of the strange and new.