Out of Ruins

by Michele G Miller

  A few hollow ‘Mornings’ go out as the other standing patients make their way to their seats. The group’s therapist, West assumes, cocks her head to the side and looks at West.

  “You must be West. Come, come join us. We’re glad to have you join us today.” She smiles and takes her own seat; waiting and watching West behind her white glasses.

  She resembles a middle-aged hippie with her flowing skirt and loose, wavy hair. Not at all like the uptight therapists he’s been seeing for the past six months. West approaches the group cautiously; aware of the stares he receives.

  “Everyone, this is West and he’s going to be joining our group-” she starts, but West interrupts her immediately.

  “For the day,” he drawls pointedly. “I’m only here for the day.”

  The older gentleman to the right of the therapist frowns.

  “Well, yes…sure. I’m Hannah, by the way. Why don’t you tell everyone a little about why you’re here?” Her smile is overly bright and cheerful for someone who spends all day with a bunch of depressed people. It almost makes him feel guilty for not being friendlier. Almost, West thinks with a twisted grin.

  “My therapist said I had to attend one of these group meetings before I could be released. I don’t get the point.”

  There’s a smattering of laughter and Hannah makes a note in a small notebook sitting in her lap.

  “West,” she chides softly; a mother scolding her wayward son. “Tell us your story.”

  “My story?”

  “What brought you here?” she prods; nodding her head gently. “I know you've been told before, but I will remind you and everyone in this session that everything you say here is confidential. No one will ever use your story against you or to hurt you. It helps to share and talk out your problems with others who have been there.”

  It sounds like a rehearsed speech, like a direct quote from a sister poster to the ones he’s already read hanging on the wall of not only this room, but so many others throughout the facility.

  He scans the room and decides to check the other patients out. He recognizes a few from recreational time, but most are new to him. There’s an older woman with a sunken face and a man who looks to be a few years older than him, sitting on the edge of his seat; tapping the toes of his shoes on the cream and blue marble floor. Ten strangers who, for whatever reason, are also confined to this place to ‘get better’. He wonders what brought each of them here. His gaze falls back on Hannah with a low sigh.

  “I’m West. I’m here because I have a habit of giving up everything I love.”

  “Can you explain that, West?”

  “Do I have to?”

  “Well, you could wait and try to explain it at next week’s meeting. It’s your choice.”

  Damn! Her sweet hippie look is just an act, he thinks to himself as he rolls his shoulders and sits up straight.

  “According to my therapist, I give up things I love to punish myself.”

  “From what?” asks a small girl about his age. She’s twisted up; her slim legs crossed and wrapped around each other, her arms folded around her waist. She looks like a human pretzel. She wears long pants and sleeves, even in summer, and West guesses she probably has an issue with self harm. He learned early on in his stay that many of the patients here have serious issues. More serious than he thought his ever were. He looks at the girl. Her brown eyes are huge, almost like a cartoon Bambi's eyes popping out of her head. They’re misplaced amongst the other, more fragile features of her tiny face.

  “What are you punishing yourself for?” she asks, sitting straighter now. “What did you do?”

  “Danica!” Hannah warns. Danica ignores the reprimand and raises a dark brow at West.

  “Why are you here?” he counters snidely and leans back in his metal chair.

  The other members of the group sit quietly and look down at either their hands or the floor. West figures they’re probably happy to let anyone else take over the meeting if it means they don’t have to speak.

  Without blinking, Danica pulls the sleeve of her long, black tee up and flashes her arm at West. Her forearm is covered in precise little lines of scars. Row after row of white scratches attesting to the fact that she does, or did, self-mutilate. She’s not shy about it, though. She leans over and pulls up one loose leg of her sweatpants and then the other. He holds his breath as he takes in the massive scars covering her calves. They look like burn scars. Old and healed over, but they still cover her shins and calves.

  “I punish myself because I lived.”

  West says nothing; he just looks away as Danica pulls her clothing back over herself. The group leader moves on to Charles, a depressed ex-banker who tried to down about thirty pills too many when he lost his job, wife and dog.

  He walks over to stand before the girl with the scars, Danica, as soon as the meeting ends. “Soooo…I feel pretty low now.”

  “Oh? Why is that?” she asks; craning her neck to see him from where she still sits. She stands slowly, untangling her long limbs, and West is surprised to see how tall she is. No wonder she looked twisted and pretzel-like when she was sitting down.

  “I shouldn’t have asked why you were here. It’s not my place,” he explains; taking the metal folding chair from her hand and following the lead of the other patients, leaning it against the wall.

  Danica laughs lightly and follows behind him.

  “You really haven’t been doing group meetings, huh?”

  “No. It wasn’t part of my deal.”

  “Deal?”

  “Never mind,” he replies; not wanting to get into the real reason he’s at the clinic in the first place. Her round eyes study him and he shifts nervously under the scrutiny of those big, sad eyes. “I give up. You know, it's not really that big of a deal, but I screwed up and my dad made me come here, thinking I needed help for my ‘issues’.” He makes air quotes as he says ‘issues’. Walking back to grab the chair he’d been sitting in, he places it in a pile with the others.

  Facing Danica again, he adds, “I get out in two weeks.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Sure that I get out of here? Pretty much.”

  She checks her watch, grabs his arm with a sigh and pulls him out through the glass double doors in the back of the room. They step into the common area and she leads him over to a large oak tree. She closes her eyes, breathes deeply and lifts her face to the sun.

  “Are you sure that what you're giving up isn’t a big deal?”

  “You ask lots of questions,” he points out; leaning against the tree. “Look – I did something stupid, and to keep people from getting into trouble, I took a deal that landed me here. End of story.”

  “Is that what your therapist says, or you?”

  “I told you inside. My therapist thinks I’m punishing myself. It’s a load of crap.”

  “Why does he think that?”

  “It’s a she – Dr. Steel – and she thinks that because I had to walk away from my life when I came here.”

  “And?” Danica crosses her arms and watches him carefully as she asks her invasive questions. West likens her to the many doctors he’s had to talk to in the way she tries to poke him for answers. But for some reason he doesn’t try to hide them from her. Maybe it’s the way she so effortlessly showed off her own secrets in the group session.

  “I guess I go to extremes. When my mother died six years ago, I gave up the only thing I cared about at the time because I was so angry and blamed myself. Then six months ago, I had a car wreck and almost killed the one person in this world I loved more than anything. I took the deal to come here without a word to her.” He lowers his face, scratches his head and brushes back his long hair. He needs a haircut badly. “I haven’t spoken to her since.”

  “Your girlfriend?”

  “Yeah.”

  Danica lowers herself to the ground and West follows automatically. “Why did you do that? Leave without a word, I mean?”

  He thinks
about her question and goes back to the moment when he crawled his way out of the smashed Jeep and found her broken body sprawled on the side of the highway. He thought he cared about her when they were trapped in the Grier house after the tornado, but no. He never knew the real fear of losing her until the night of the wreck. His pulse races just thinking of it.

  “Hey?” Her skinny hand touches him, which causes West to jerk away and stand quickly. He’s still agitated by the touch of anyone who isn’t Jules.

  “Oh! Sorry,” she offers, surprised at his response.

  He stands there, looking up into the green foliage of the large tree, and doesn’t bother to reply.

  “You’re not ready to leave.”

  She says it with the authority of someone who should know. Stuffing his hands into his shorts, West looks at her sitting in the grass. Her hand rubs along her sleeved forearm. She reminds him of a junkie the way she taps her arm as if she’s simulating the pressure, the release, she would get if only she could run a blade over her skin.

  It’s the same thing he does to himself. When the pressure of losing Jules is too deep, he rubs his palm and visualizes her hand in his; the strength she gave to him with her touch.

  “I need to leave. I need to find her before school starts in a few weeks…to win her back.”

  Danica laughs. “Of course you do! You’re willing to give it all up for her, right?” She’s smart, he’ll give her that. ”You have to take care of you before you can take care of her.”

  “I’m fine.”

  “Really?” She stands and West steps back as she gets up in his face. “This isn’t my first trip to the rodeo. You’re not fine. You’re in denial. Do you love your girl? Then get strong for her.”

  “Damn, you're pushy. You remind me of Jules.”

  “Jules, huh?” She smiles again and backs away; her aggressiveness turning down a notch. “Pretty name.”

  “It’s beautiful. She’s beautiful.”

  “Look, I’m no expert, but I could be for all the therapy I’ve had. I don’t know your whole story, but until you admit your issues, you’ll never be healed. You want to end up here again? It may feel like a bunch of B.S. they’re feeding us here, but it’s not.”

  “Danica?” An older gentleman West recognizes as a doctor at the facility stands in the propped open glass doorway.

  She glances at her watch and waves her hand towards the doctor. “Sorry, I have a session. I hope I’ll see you around, West. Think about what I said.” When West doesn't speak, she nods and tips her head to the side. She jogs towards the doors slowly.

  “Hey!” he calls out after a moment. He balls his hands deep in his pockets to keep from pulling them out; to keep himself from rubbing on his palm. “Thanks for the advice. Maybe you’re right. Maybe I’m not ready yet, but what do I do?”

  “You stay,” she suggests with a shrug. “You get better.”

  He simply nods and turns the idea around in his head. “Thanks.”

  Storms come and go, but true love remains.

  All That Remains

  From The Wreckage, book 3

  Coming - August 28, 2014

  The Prophecy of Tyalbrook Trilogy - YA Fantasy Romance

  Never Let You Fall

  Never Let You Go

  Never Without You - Avail Late 2014

  The Last Call Series - NA Contemporary Romance

  Last Call (Suspense)

  From The Wreckage Series - Coming of Age Drama

  From The Wreckage

  Out of Ruins

  All That Remains - Avail August 2014

  A Note from the Author…

  Hi! Thank you so much for picking up Out of Ruins! First, I want to say that while there IS a real Tyler, Texas, this story features my own version of Tyler, Texas. In other words, it is totally made up and anything resembling any one or thing real is purely a coincidence.

  Second, if you’re enjoying Jules and West’s story, I’d love for you to take a moment and write a quick review on the site where you purchased the book or on other online book sites such as Goodreads or LibraryThing. It's super easy and it helps me out a bunch since I'm an Indie author and we need all the help we can get. I appreciate any time you take to leave a review and always try my best to read all of them. Also, share! Word of mouth is out biggest marketing tool so please tell your friends to check out the From The Wreckage series, I would appreciate it beyond belief.

  I love to hear from readers so feel free to chat me up on Twitter or my Facebook page. Check out my Pinterest page too for cool pics, quotes and other things that show you more of my creative side and inspirations when writing my stories.

  Most of all, keep reading! I hope that you will try out my other titles, but also those of other Indie authors. There are a ton of amazing stories out there waiting to be discovered by you!

  Acknowledgments

  Every time I finish a novel I feel as if I could write another one just to thank all of the people who keep me ticking every day. I could never thank everyone who touches me on a daily basis in one way or another. I can’t even begin to try.

  BUT, I shall…

  To all of the people who buy, read and review my books, thank you. Plain and simple. I am especially touched by those who take the time to send me notes on Facebook. I can’t tell you how I feel when I see a new note telling me what you think of a character or a new review talking about the storyline. A million thanks to each of you.

  My super readers and street team - Chele’s Belles - these ladies help give me advice when I’m stuck, they BETA for me, they check out the teasers I create and help pimp me out.

  For that I am forever grateful.

  Cheri Gracey, Samantha Eaton-Roberts, Kayla Hargaden, Danielle Young, Tanya Johnson, Megan Bagley, Jessica Smith, Chelcie Holguin, Mandy Anderson, Marla Wenger, Destiny Love, Megan Hornyak, Nancy Byers, Courtney Willging and Tess Watson

  To the hundreds of authors I am blessed to interact with, you inspire me to be better every day. Thank you for your guidance, laughter, wisdom and your sharing and pimping. They let me know I’m not alone in this imaginary world I create.

  My #Fierce5 sisters, Christy Foster, Mindy Hayes, Starla Huchton and Sarah Ashley Jones - words are not necessary.

  You girls complete me.

  To my Jonathan, Grayson, Gabe and Belle- thank you for letting me work so hard to achieve my goals. You go without so much sometimes so that I can work. You are my true inspirations!

  A Special thanks to the professionals who help me look good:

  Rick Miles and Kris Pittman with Red Coat Public Relations

  Stacy Sanford of The Girl With the Red Pen, Editor

  Starla Huchton with Designed by Starla, Cover Designer

  Playlist

  Music is a huge part of every book I write. Below is a list of songs that were played during the writing of Out of Ruins…

  Lily Lane – Nothin' but Trouble

  Boyce Avenue – Fix You (feat. Tyler Ward)

  John Legend – All of Me

  All Time Low – Therapy

  Ron Pope – Parts of You

  Jason Aldean – Tattoos On This Town

  Adelitas Way – All Falls Down

  Ellie Goulding – How Long Will I Love You

  Lifehouse – Everything

  ZZ Ward – Last Love Song

  Ed Sheeran – Kiss Me

  Brantley Gilbert – Bottoms Up

  Green Day – Wake Me Up When September Ends

  All Time Low – Time-Bomb

  Every Avenue – I Can't Not Love You

  The Icarus Account – So In Love

  Mumford & Sons – After The Storm

  New Found Glory – Hold My Hand

  OneRepublic – I Lived

  A Great Big World – You'll Be Okay

  To find the rest of the amazing songs I listen to you can check me out on Spotify

  About The Author

  Michele is the author of five books, ranging from Coming of Age
Fantasy to Contemporary Romance to New Adult Romantic Suspense.

  You can find links to purchase any of her titles HERE

  Having grown up in both the cold, quiet town of Topsham, Maine and the steamy, southern hospitality of Mobile, Alabama, Michele is something of a enigma. She is an avid Yankees fan, loves New England, being outdoors and misses snow. However she thinks southern boys are hotter, Alabama football is the only REAL football out there and sweet tea is the best thing this side of heaven and her children's laughter!

  Her family, an amazing husband and three awesome kids, have planted their roots in the middle of Michele's two childhood homes in Charlotte, North Carolina.

  Email: authormichelegmiller@gmail.com

  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AuthorMicheleGMiller

  Twitter: https://twitter.com/chelemybelles

  Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/chelemybelles/

  Website: http://michelegmillerbooks.com

  Goodreads: http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/6975382.Michele_G_Miller