Out of the Faold (Whilst Old Legends Fade Synchronicles)

by Laura Abudo

  “You don’t like castle life, do you?” Coral asked.

  “No. I’d rather be out on the road with the Marshalls. Or at home. I have no use for all of that.”

  “Yet you are here.”

  “You are here. My family is here.”

  “And this is where the spiritual leader of the land is needed. Not at home far away from everyone.”

  “That too,” she said quietly.

  “It’s a burden.”

  “There is not much to do other than be a trophy, a symbol, standing with the King.”

  “Is that all you are?” Coral asked. “I’m pretty sure that isn’t it.”

  “That is what I’m needed for here in Danyc. I give orders to the Brothers and Sisters of the Faold to rebuild. But there is still wariness among the people. Maybe I’ll arrange a trip to the Retreats, to the Sanctuaries. It will give me a purpose.”

  “Would you be running away?” Coral asked.

  “From what?” Pearl demanded.

  “All of this. The castle, the courtiers, the responsibilities. The Queen’s suite. The King.”

  “Why would I run from him?”

  “I don’t know. Why do you?” Coral asked.

  Pearl didn’t answer. She couldn’t. She didn’t know why she ran. But she just knew she couldn’t have stayed in that library any longer to endure any more kissing. If she had stayed she would have failed to keep her strength. She would have given it all away for passion. A passion that couldn’t lead anywhere.

  “We have talked before about Fredrick. You look at him the way I look at Amias. I know it.”

  Pearl squinted in denial. “He’s too old.”

  “Now you are making excuses to not love him when you do. What’s wrong?”

  “He’s a King,” she cried. “He’s not a Tucker. His family has ruled this land for a thousand years. Their portraits are on the walls all over this place. I have no business being here. I have no business being in his presence, let alone in the Queen’s suite or in his bed.”

  “If he wants you there you have every right to it,” Coral told her angrily. “I dragged you away from that life. You became a courageous, skillful child who has grown up into a beautiful powerful woman. You are educated. We took you as our own to give you a name and a title. No one can strip that of you now.”

  “He wants a wife. I just can’t be a queen.”

  “Then be his woman.”

  “Then he would be no better than Tucker and I would be no better than a whore.”

  “Pearl, that’s not true.”

  “Yes, it is. I am either a queen or a whore. I refuse to be either.”

  “So you will be Pearl the god-smiter. The King-smiter because you can’t allow yourself to love him. And you won’t let him love you.”

  Pearl had no answer to that accusation. She just teared up. “He wants me to talk to him and tell him what’s wrong. I just can’t.”

  “You’d better do it or I’ll drag you to him myself and tell him what’s what. And I’ll let him beat you for being stupid too.”

  Pearl gaped at Coral. “You think I’m being stupid?”

  “Yes,” she told her. “I do. I want you to be Pearl. I don’t know who this wishy washy rag is that you become sometimes but that’s not the Pearl I know who would pull off a god’s knockers and toss Sisters around like straw in the wind. I want to see the Pearl I saw sitting beside the King tonight, giving orders, encouraging her people and taking charge. I want to see the Pearl who sat in the Queen’s seat at dinner, sending men all around the castle to do her bidding in the face of unknown danger. That woman the King depends on to be strong with him not instead of him.”

  And Pearl stopped walking. Coral looked at her strangely. She grasped Coral in a hug and whispered, “Coral, there are times I don’t feel myself. I told you I can’t trust my heart. But the times I sit with him, when I act, when I am the woman you want me to be, that is when I am myself. At times when Fredrick and I fight I feel things that aren’t from me. Something is wrong. We are watched. Do you think…”

  And Coral knew. She drew herself away from Pearl and nodded, wiping away the tears from Pearl’s face. “So, if you are you when you are with him, he will help you fight. We must all fight. The Kusira are coming. We will get to the bottom of it. Go to him. You need him and he needs you.”

  Before they could take another step, Pearl and Coral heard a giggle further into the gardens. “Did they make up?” Pearl asked and carefully strolled toward the laugh. Coral was right behind her. But instead of finding a betrothed couple sharing a few moments together they saw a sight they never thought they would ever see.

  Up in a tree, with her feet dangling, crinoline on the ground, was Glory. And Jimm sat on the thick limb with her. She had a twig in her curled hair and her cheeks were more rosy than normal with the exertion of getting into the tree. She waved down at them and teetered.

  “What are you doing?” Coral asked with a laugh.

  “Well if Pearl can climb trees then I can,” she called out. “Though I’m not very good at it.”

  “She’ll be wrestling pigs next,” Jimm called down.

  Pearl hitched her robes up and grabbed at a limb. She hoisted herself up to sit on another large branch off to the side. Coral declined the invite to join them, saying she’d be a bad influence on Darius. She waved and left the three of them alone.

  “Remember when we were little?” Pearl asked. “We had so much fun in this garden.”

  “There’s Father,” Jimm said, nodding up to the window of the library, where he stood watching them.

  Pearl smiled up at him and waved. She glanced over to the windows that led to her new room. “Glory, my balcony is large enough for a few chairs. We shall have tea over the gardens when we get it fixed up.”

  “That would be lovely,” Glory said. “Do you think we could get someone to bring us tea here in the tree? I like it here.”

  “You are stuck, aren’t you?” Pearl laughed.

  “Maybe a little,” she said looking down. “But I don’t mind. I was always envious of you two. Playing in the trees, with the dogs, having fun.”

  “But you liked the dresses and the ladies and parties.”

  “I did,” she admitted. “But I wish I was more like you.”

  “You were, in your own way,” Pearl told her. “When faced with danger you took hold and became a god-smiter too.”

  “I’m impressed you could keep your dress clean and your hair curled doing it,” Jimm told her with a straight face then they all laughed. “Do you want to come on the hunt with me tomorrow?”

  “Me?” Glory asked. “You don’t really kill things, do you?”

  “Not really. It’s a gentleman’s version of a ride with the Marshalls. Though they don’t have stories nearly as good and they wouldn’t dare …”

  “Oh!” Pearl blurted, interrupting him. “You haven’t heard. The castle is on lockdown. The Kusira and Siri are riding in, two hundred strong.”

  “What?” Glory asked loudly. “The Kusira?”

  Before she could explain King Fredrick entered the gardens from the side and sauntered over to them. Pearl smiled at his mischievous grin. That was the real Fredrick.

  “Children in trees,” he called out. “I ordered these gardens closed.”

  “And I ordered them open for us,” Pearl said. “We are taking a vantage point to look for Kusira witches lurking in the bushes.”

  “And who are you to override my orders?” he asked coming to a stop before her.

  She just smiled.

  “I should get back to Coral and find out what’s happening,” Glory told them, looking for a way to get down.

  Jimm dropped off his branch and held his hands out to her. She gracefully accepted his assistance and slid down to his waiting hands. He steadied her and blushed.

  “Is that a beard I see growing in?” Fredrick asked his son.

  “A bit of one,” Jimm said scratching at the fuzz on his chin.r />
  “I see that. Good job.”

  Pearl looked at Fredrick for an explanation of their strange conversation. He whispered, “Pipe smoke.”

  Pearl looked between Glory and Jimm and back to Fredrick. He shrugged and smiled. She frowned. That wouldn’t be good. She was betrothed to Jimm’s older brother, who had the throne when Fredrick passed on. She was to be queen with Tomas as king.

  Jimm escorted Glory out of the gardens leaving Pearl with Frederick. He watched her. She looked like she had a lot on her mind. He held out his hands to her but instead of lifting her down he grabbed her and slung her over his shoulder.

  “What are you doing?” she yelled, laughing.

  “Just remembering old times. Though, either I’m smaller or you are bigger.”

  He carried her like that, kicking and laughing to the garden entrance then placed her on her feet. “Is everyone dispatched and on duty?” she asked, straightening her robes and brushing her hair back, still laughing.

  “Yes.”

  “Good,” she told him. “It’s time we got locked away.”

  “Is it?” he asked, surprised.

  “Yes.”

  “Library?”

  “Will we be disturbed?” she asked.

  “Definitely.”

  “My room then,” she said. “Post a few guards and tell them I’m not allowed to run under any circumstances.”

  “Done.”

  Pearl became angry. Then she became angry that she was angry. She knew that something was trying to control her. Trying to draw her away from Fredrick. And when she looked at him she saw that look of insecurity in his eyes. It just made her angrier at whoever or whatever was trying to drive her away.

  “Fredrick,” she whispered while they walked down the hallway. “Please listen to me without reaction.”

  “Yes?” he questioned.

  “Do you remember how we could see the puppies and the boys in the arch?”

  “Yes.”

  “It’s happening to us. And you know that feeling you have right now, that I don’t care about you, that you are losing me?”

  “Yes.”

  “It’s not real, is it?”

  He didn’t respond for long moments. “No, it isn’t,” he breathed.

  “Nowhere is safe.”

  In Pearl’s room with a guard posted at the door, she sat on the small bed. Fredrick sat on a chair, his head in his hands. They were silent, not knowing what to do. She felt an urge to fight with him. She felt an urge to run. She felt an urge to make love to him so strongly that she wanted to cry. And it all just made her angry.

  Fredrick looked so alone. He was determined to make her his, to make her submit to his wishes. Because he knew she didn’t want him, that she was just going to run away again. She had to be his queen. She had to love him.

  Pearl held out her hand. He stood and approached. She lay down and invited him to join her. They lay face to face, both insecure, both torn on her tiny bed.

  Pearl told him in whispers, “Something is trying to pull us apart. It isn’t right. Do you feel it?”

  He nodded. “The only time I feel myself lately is when I’m with you. Carrying you on my shoulder, watching you bark orders, when you kiss me or hold my hand.”

  “Not when we fight,” she said. “I want to tell you everything I am feeling. So you can understand why I sometimes run. I am being forced to run. That is not me. Coral gave me a tongue lashing tonight for not being myself and that’s when I realized what was happening.”

  He nodded. “I’m beginning to understand.”

  She placed her hand on his face next to hers and smiled. “I really do care about you. I always have.”

  “Good,” he said, taking her hand and kissing it.

  “I have given myself to you several times now and yet you have not believed it. And then I wouldn’t believe it. And we’d be torn apart again.”

  “Yes.”

  “I want to tell you about my past,” she started. “When Brother Karl found me I lived on the streets. I had no parents. I never knew my parents. I assumed my mother was one of the local whores who worked down by the pubs in Brynntown. I slept with dogs and ate scraps. People took care of me if they saw I needed something but I didn’t have anyone in my life. I would have ended up like my mother or worse if I had stayed there. Brother Karl gave me a new life. She and Amias have been the parents I never had, better than anything I could have imagined for myself. They taught me love and what it meant to band together. To fight if I needed to.”

  Fredrick watched her eyes intently.

  “When you asked me to be yours so many times it felt nice. It made me feel special. But in my gut I always knew I was a street rat. A street rat cannot be a queen. A street rat cannot even walk into a castle with her head held high. I was able to do that. But to be queen is beyond what I can be.”

  Fredrick protested. “You are the queen,” he told her, with a tear in his eye. “You have been the queen since the day you put on that blue robe and stood at my side as my friend. You are the warrior queen who takes care of her people, whether they are children like Darius or whores or Marshalls or Kings.”

  “I am not destined to be queen. That is Glory’s job.”

  “How are you so sure?”

  “Because she’s Glory!” she told him. “She has wanted to be queen since she was five years old she told me. It’s in her blood. She has been hanging onto Tomas since she found out she was betrothed.”

  “And yet she is now swinging from a tree with Jimm.”

  Pearl had no argument. Instead she kissed Fredrick softly on the lips. “I want to be yours,” she breathed against his cheek.

  “I want you.”

  “If I marry you I am queen and I am stubborn. I don’t want to take on that role.”

  “You already have.”

  “No, I am your god-smiter. I am an advisor, a general for your people. A queen is a pretty trophy who sits beside you in curls and frills and has no input except what to serve at dinner parties and squeeze out heirs for you.”

  “And that’s what you think Glory would do as queen? She’d be fluff next to Tomas?” he asked her seriously. “I want to tell you why I betrothed her to him. He is weak. He is incapable of being responsible. I gave him a little freedom and he got wobbly on my good ale and sick off pipe and insulted the one good thing in his life. He ruined the respect his father and brother might have had for him. Glory, beyond the frills and the lace and the curls, is one hell of a strong woman who is going to snap him into shape. I won’t accept a queen in this land who won’t stand by her man and make the most of him. If that means taking over in his stead then that’s what it means.”

  “And that’s the real you,” she smiled. “Do you see what I mean?”

  He nodded.

  “When we get strong in our convictions, tell what we feel, we are ourselves,” she said and stroked his lips with her fingertip. “I haven’t wanted to be queen so I’ve been so torn. I want to be yours. I want to be your wife even. But it is difficult for me to get past a street rat being queen. If I don’t marry you and simply be yours…”

  She shook her head. Fredrick kissed her cheek. “What is it?”

  “Then I am no better than my mother,” she whispered sadly.

  Fredrick grabbed her into a tight hug and held her as she sobbed. “So that’s why you kiss me so sweetly and run away.”

  She nodded against him. He released her and took her face in his hands. He kissed her with love and passion, allowing her to pull away when she needed to. With tears beading on her eyelashes she leaned forward. She slid her lips across his. She tilted her head sideways and smiled into his eyes.

  “Can we get married?” he asked. “Right this minute.”

  She giggled. Pearl’s expression changed to one of contemplation. She whispered, “I didn’t want to run that time.”

  “Good,” he said, kissing her again. Pearl melted into his arms and into the kiss. His lips wandered to h
er cheek, her ear, her neck and as her eyes glazed over and her back arched at his touch she heard Pearl.

  His mouth stopped. He lay over her, listening as though he heard it too.

  Pearl Faith Dog Doran in the eyes and hearts of the gods do you take Fredrick Pol Stener Curden as your life mate?

  “Yes,” Pearl sobbed looking into Fredrick’s eyes.

  Fredrick Pol Stener Curden in the eyes and hearts of the gods do you take Pearl Faith Dog Doran as your life mate?

  “Yes,” Fredrick breathed in shock.

  You are wed. Pearl, you have no time. You must push aside your fears and take him now. There is no ti…

  And the voice was gone.

  “That was her,” she told him. “The goddess.”

  “We are wed?” he asked.

  “I think so,” she laughed.

  “What are we doing in here then?” he asked, jumping up and pulling her up by the hand. “I need to test out my secret passage.”

  “That’s my secret passage,” she said, following him to the small door in the wall.

  They emerged into his suite, a grand room with a giant bed, a large fireplace and beautiful furniture. A writing desk sat in the corner. He led her to the bed and they sat.

  “Are you alright with this?” he asked her, concerned. “We can wait.”

  “She said we couldn’t. I don’t want to. I just got married. I want to be with you.”

  Pearl jumped over to the middle of the bed and pulled him by the hand to join her. She kissed him like she’d never kissed him before, driving a shudder through him, making him pull away to breathe. She smiled and pulled him back. No time… Hurry.

  A new desperation filled them. Pearl felt her robes pull away from her as his mouth found her skin. She called out unintelligibly when his beard brushed against her breast. He pulled one of her legs over his hip and moved closer. She grabbed his back with her grasping hand.

  Take him! Now!

  And she did. She cried out and buried her face in his shoulder.

  “I’m sorry,” he whispered in her ear, “I don’t want to hurt you.”

  Tears fell from Pearl’s eyes as she smiled at him and relaxed in relief. She moved with him and felt him tense up. She pulled him to her and let her tongue taste his neck and shoulder. She rolled over onto him. She laid her head against his chest. She listened to his breathing and his heart as they found their own rhythm together. One of his hands balanced her hip. The other touched her back in soft strokes. Fredrick’s breathing became labored. He looked into her eyes through half-closed lids. His entire body tensed under her, shaking with effort. She held onto him tightly with every scrap of her body until he relaxed, rested back into the bed. His hands drew patterns up her back and she shivered, laughing.