Love Me Always (The Invisibles)

by Michelle Lynn

  Once we’re out on the sidewalk, Maura’s arms wrap around my shoulders.

  “I’m so proud of you for handling that.”

  I lean back and cock my eyebrow. “You handled it all. I said three sentences.”

  “You did good, Brady. You didn’t shut down.” She kisses my cheek, completely out of her comfort zone. “Now, go whisk your bride away and we’ll see you Friday night. I’ll help Maggie and Ida with everything. Don’t worry.”

  “Thanks, Maura.” I tighten my hold of her in my arms. She’s so much tougher than me. I wanted to say so much more to my mom, but her hurt eyes stopped me. After everything she’s done, I’m still her baby boy and I couldn’t bring myself to beat her down anymore than Maura already did.

  Maura digs in her purse. “I almost forgot, this is my financial guy, give him a call. You can trust him.” She hands me the card and I stare down at it. “I should have prepared you for it, but I never wanted you to jump into marriage before you were ready. After you met Sadie and she had all those financial problems with her dad cutting her off, I worried you’d do it just to help her. Now it makes a great wedding gift, right?”

  I smile understanding what’s she saying. “It’s okay, Maura. I’m glad you never told me until now.”

  “Good. Love you, little brother.”

  “Love you,” I mumble staring down at the card in my hand, still in disbelief.

  “Go kidnap your bride,” she urges and I kiss her on the cheek and run the other way.

  Sadie

  OUR BAGS ARE packed on the bed, but this feeling of dread won’t leave me. Something’s off with us leaving and I don’t know what it is. Brady’s feet climb the steps two at a time and I examine the stairs; I see his mop of brown hair before his smiling face. He’s excited and I don’t want to disappoint him, but at the same time I don’t know if I want to go.

  “Ready babe?” He claps his hands and I jump from the loud noise. Instantly, like always, he senses my reluctance. “Hey.” He eyes the suitcases on the bed.

  “Hi.” I sit down on the edge of bed and play with my fingers. “How did it go with your mom?”

  He rakes his fingers through his long strands. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

  “Brady,” I tilt my head and his eyes ping to the window. Dex has a laughing Chrissy in his arms across the street. We used to be happy and carefree like that.

  “You don’t want to go.” His voice sounds like a kid that just found out Santa isn’t real and my heart breaks that I’m going to disappoint him.

  “Can I ask you a question? Why do you want to go away?” Again, his eyes ping everywhere but at me. I position my finger under his newly-shaven chin and bring it up to meet my eyes. “Tell me.”

  He shrugs. “I just want us to be by ourselves.”

  “Which we will next week on our honeymoon. Why else?” This is Brady we’re talking about. Planner, organizer and everything stable I’ve always loved.

  He drops to his knees, swiveling around so his back rests along the mattress. I thread my fingers though his hair, smoothing out the disorganization he caused from the day. His head lays on my thigh, relaxing under my touch, but his shoulders tense, holding his problems like always.

  “You bored with me?” His voice is so low I thought for sure I didn’t hear him right.

  “Bored? Never.” I shake my head although he can’t see me.

  “Our sex life?” The puzzle comes together in my mind. The sex in the bathroom the other day. In the kitchen the next. He’s scared and that makes me love him even more.

  “Hey.” I slide out from behind him and cross my legs, dropping down in front of him. Those brown eyes that are usually lit up show sadness and in turn jabs at my heart.

  “You have no other choice but to tell me no. You don’t want to hurt my feelings.”

  “What are you talking about?” I inch forward, kidnapping his hands from his sweatshirt pockets.

  “Ordinary. You deserve a hell of a lot better than a normal life.”

  “I agree,” I say and his face bolts up. Shocked eyes fixating on mine and I laugh. “So, it’s a good thing I don’t have one.”

  He shakes his head again. “Sadie. I’m being serious. I don’t have it in me to be spontaneous and crazy. Hell, half the time when I have you in some weird-ass position I’m worried I’m hurting you.”

  I laugh and he gives me an exasperated look. “I’m being serious. What if years down the road—”

  I stop him because I can’t bear him to think these things.

  “You know what I remember from when we first met?” I crawl into his lap, and wrap my arms around his neck. My lips brush along his cheek.

  “My eyes.” He gives the answer he thinks because I always say his eyes did something to me that night.

  “That, but it was the safety in them. I was surrounded by utter chaos, with a head swarming about a million things from the previous years. Then out of nowhere, these caramel warm eyes came into view and I was saved. At least that’s what I thought at the time. No one had ever been able to bring the feeling of safety to me with one look. You were my savior, Brady.”

  He’s about to argue, but I shut him down. “Listen. I crave our life. Our simple life with nights on the couch watching television. Sunday game days with all our friends over. Cold nights when your feet warm mine under the covers. I love it, Brady. If you weren’t my rock, my stability, we wouldn’t be who we are.”

  A small crease of his lips lift and I know I’m on the right track. “You know, Theo always lived this got to have it now life. Five minutes was too long for him to wait for anything. The parties could never end, the drinking never ceased. He lived so high and so hard, I think I was always trying to catch him. After I met you, it was the first time in my life I took a true breath and relaxed into who I am.”

  “And who’s that?”

  “Hopefully Mrs. Carsen, wife of Brady Carsen, the most caring, sincere, and empathetic man I know.”

  He kisses my cheek and his hands rub along my waist.

  “Plus, the best lover I’ve had in bed. Brady.” I cradle his head in my hands. “I don’t need a whirl of a trip to Mexico right before our wedding. I don’t need you to screw me in freaky positions. I just need you and your warm arms because that’s where I love being the most.”

  “Maybe now, but what about down the line? Look at my mom.”

  Ahh . . . I see it now.

  “Your mom was missing something she thought she could find somewhere else. That’s the difference. I found myself with you. I was missing myself back home at Drayton, but here, in this house with you in our bed, is where I will always want to be.” Tears start to prick behind my lids and I realize something for the first time. The life I’m living wouldn’t have been Theo’s. We were so different, and although the guilt will probably always stay inside of me, I can’t change the past. I wish the gut-twisting feeling would go away, but maybe Dr. Hinkle will help me with keeping it at bay. I hope so.

  “Promise me.” Now his hands cover mine on his face. The intensity of his eyes piercing into mine surprises me. “You’ll talk to me before you ever leave.”

  I know words are not enough in this moment. “I don’t expect that to ever happen, but I promise with my entire heart.” His eyes bore into mine and I allow him to search my face for whatever he’s searching for. Whatever will make him know without a doubt, he’s perfect in my eyes and the last thing he needs to do is change.

  “I love you so much.” His own eyes well up and I know he’s dealing with his mom.

  “I love you, too.” I bury my head in his neck, the citrus smell confirming I’m home.

  “Don’t ever leave me.”

  I shake my head in the crook of his neck.

  “Never.”

  I shake again, unable to speak from the amount of tears rushing out of my eyes.

  “Promise me again?” he croaks out.

  “Promise,” I mumble against his soft skin.

>   Brady

  “BRADY!” TREY SCREAMS, opening the door to my house. My mind flickers to memories of the guys living here. The first time I brought Sadie here, not knowing what she would think of not only me, but the guys. Anyone could tell we had very different friends.

  “I’m up here,” I yell from the third floor.

  We rushes up, winded by the time he makes it up the two flights of stairs. “Jesus, you guys need to move down to the second floor.” He clenches his chest, tossing his tux on the bed.

  I haven’t brought this up to anyone, but I’m thinking about selling the house, giving my dad the money and building us a new house. I had the thought well before the news of my inheritance, but now we have some room to wiggle. Well, more than a little. Trey’s been working with an architect and I’m going to ask him to do it, but I have to check with Sadie first.

  He meets me in the bathroom and clasps my shoulder. “Today’s the big day.”

  “Yep.” I straighten my tie, my eyes fixed on the knot.

  Sadie and I never went away for the few days because she needed to be near her family this week. It was hard enough without Theo. Her mom has a beautiful picture of him and Sadie that will be positioned on the altar, along with a candle lit. She spent the night at Jessa’s last night and Grant stayed here.

  “Holly have the kids?” I ask him.

  “Yeah, they got in last night.” He sits down on the edge of the tub and stares at me through the mirror. “Everything good?”

  The concern etched in his voice tells me I’m not as transparent as I think.

  “Yeah. Sadie talked. I guess it’s just a constant state of talking?”

  He chuckles. “Throw three kids into the mix. I don’t even know if Kailey and I have time to think of problems. Maybe that’s your problem, you guys have too much time to harp on things that aren’t really problems.”

  “GUYS?” Dex’s voice booms through the house.

  “Up here, Hulk!” Trey answers and Dex and Rob climb up the stairs a second later. They’re already fully showered, dressed in their tux’s. I cock my eyebrow to Trey in jeans and a T-shirt.

  “Going,” he says and disappears downstairs.

  “Chrissy and Paige are on their way to the Bishop’s,” Rob says, moving next to me to stare at himself in the mirror. “Matty’s downstairs playing Xbox. I’m guessing that’s going away soon?”

  Dex fiddles with his phone. “No way. Marriage shouldn’t take away your love of games.”

  We laugh. “Where is your game system now?” I ask since he and Chrissy tied the knot a few months back.

  “Basement,” he lowers his head. “But Rob and I have a sweet hook up down there, don’t we?” He looks up at Rob for confirmation.

  “Yeah, but—” Then he stops and Dex picks up his head.

  “What?”

  “Paige and I were going to tell you this, but we’re moving.” He starts to move his hands through his hair, but stops, remembering the gel pushing it back.

  “Really?” Dex’s lips turn down for a second before they rise back up into a wide sly smile. “Okay,” he shrugs.

  “What’s the smile for?” I ask him and he shakes his head, standing and leaving the room.

  We follow and grab my jacket from the chaise lounge, carefully putting it on.

  “We love you guys and Matty is no problem at all, but sometimes . . . Chrissy wants to scream.”

  We laugh and I straighten out my shirt sleeves under my coat and follow them down the stairs.

  “I hate to break it to you, but you aren’t exactly quiet. Paige told Matty that you guys practice the wrestling moves at night because he asked us about it,” Rob tells Dex on their way down the stairs.

  I stay upstairs and my eyes scan our room. Sadie’s ponytail holders next to the bed. The framed picture of her mom and grandma on the dresser. Her perfumes lined up with her jewelry box next to it. My book laying on the nightstand with my phone cord sneaking out from the wall. Our mingled stuff brings a warmth to the pit of my stomach. We’ll be just fine. I’m sure of it.

  “We have ten minutes before we have to be at the church!” Grant yells up to the third floor and I descend the stairs.

  Grant’s waiting for me, fixing his tie in the hallway mirror. His blond hair gelled into place.

  “Hell of a lot of memories in this place,” he says, clasping me on the shoulder. “Remember when we stole Maura’s diary and your head went into the wall?” His hand grazes along the part of the wall smooth from plaster.

  “What about when she fell down the stairs when we put the marbles at the top landing?”

  He laughs, his fist covering his mouth. “Shit, she was pissed. I think I was actually fearful for my life at that moment.”

  “Yeah.” I nod, a flicker of memories running in my head.

  Trey leaves the confines of his old bedroom, walking our way and the slew of girls that walked up these stairs and up to these four rooms. But once each of us found our match, our lives shifted and only one girl would come up these stairs to our bedrooms. This is where my friendships were made and a small part of me wants my kids to have their friendships develop within the same walls as mine.

  “Let’s get you married,” Trey says, winking and running down the stairs. “Matty you got Drew, right?”

  “He left Drew with Matty?” I ask and Grant laughs. “They are much more trusting than Jessa and I.”

  My foot is off the top landing when Grant clears his throat. “Hey, Brady. Can I have a moment without the others?”

  I tilt my head and move back up to the landing. “What’s up, man?” I check my watch seeing we have some time. The church is only a few minutes away.

  “I just want to thank you. My dad left me a note in the mailbox saying they were going back to Florida. Thank you for handling that for me. I couldn’t do it. Just too much with my mom. You know?” He dodges my eyes, shifting his up to the ceiling and blinking his eyes a few times. “Jessa says I need closure, but I’m not sure I do.”

  I pat him on the shoulder. “I think when they deserted us, that was our closure. When we came together as friends again, that was the closure we needed. Not from them, but from ourselves. If that makes sense.”

  He smiles. “Perfect sense. Thank you. I felt so weak by dodging his phone calls and when he showed up at the house I almost went ballistic until Jessa put Addy in my arms.”

  “You could have called me, man.”

  “You had enough with the wedding and your mom. My badass wife handled it and told him to leave.”

  “She’s the best.”

  “Yes, she is,” he says and with a small nod, he ventures downstairs.

  “Let’s go, guys.” Rob’s waiting at the bottom of the steps with a dressed-up Matty.

  “You ready to carry the ring?” I ask, ruffling his hair.

  “Can I have it now?” he asks and I pat my jacket pocket.

  “At the church.”

  “That’s Uncle Brady’s way of saying he doesn’t trust you Matty,” Rob jokes and I shake my head venturing into the kitchen.

  A half hour later, “Never Stop” by Safetysuit begins to play through the church and goose bumps scatter across my body watching Sadie walk down the aisle. With her mom on one side and her grandma on the other, her white dress swooshes back and forth on her way down to me. I step down a step, but Grant’s hand stops me there.

  “Whoa killer, let her come to you,” he whispers and my eyes won’t leave hers.

  Even under her veil, I see the tears slowly filling her eyes and her small shallow breaths making her chest rise and fall. She’s beautiful and she’s mine. All mine for the rest of my life.

  Her mom and grandma’s make-up is smeared from the wetness falling down their cheeks. She reaches me a painstakingly two minutes later and her mom offers Sadie’s delicate hand to mine. I kiss her mom on the cheek. “Enjoy each other,” she says and I smile.

  I move over to Ida and she squeezes my arm tight in hers, alarm
ing me slightly. “If you hurt her, your good looks won’t get you out of it.” Then her hand grazes down and she slaps my ass.

  “Oh my,” Jessa snickers.

  “I’ll protector her with my life,” I tell her grandma and she lightly smacks my cheek.

  “I know. Now make an honest woman out of her.” She nods her head to the altar and I grab Sadie’s hand, leading to where I was a moment ago.

  “You’re beautiful,” I whisper over her sniffling.

  “Thank you. You look devastatingly handsome.” A smile gracing her lips undoes me.

  “Devastatingly, huh?”

  “Yes, so, remember after today you’re mine.”

  The preacher steps forward and the song slowly comes to an end.

  I lean forward, my breath tickling her neck. “I’ve always been yours.” She gasps and a tear slips from her eye, falling into the bodice of her dress.

  The older preacher opens up his bible, reading for us to finally say our I do’s. Sadie hands her flowers to Jessa and we link hands standing face to face.

  “The bride and groom have prepared their own vows,” Preacher Gregory announces to the packed church.

  My fingers shake as they slide into my suit jacket to find my notes. Sadie patiently smiles while my hands continue to dig and dig, coming up empty. “Shit,” I mumble. “Sorry,” I murmur to the preacher. I focus on Sadie with panicked eyes. “I forgot them.”

  My heart constricts and my throat dries.

  “It’s okay.” She turns to the preacher. “We’ll just say the traditional vows.” She changes course so fast, not an angry tick in her voice. Everything about her that I love floods my mind.

  “No, no. I got this.” The preacher smiles and I take her hands in mine once again.

  “Sadie Miller. I feel like we’ve been together forever, but maybe that’s because I can barely remember what my life was without you in it. You’ve allowed me to be me. I don’t have to put on a front, or act like the cool singer from The Invisibles. Your smile lights up my insides when I walk through that door. To know that I’ll have that for the rest of life brings an elation to me that I never thought possible. I promise to tell you how beautiful I think you are everyday. I promise to stand beside you during not only the good times, but the hard too. I promise to be your biggest supporter in anything you choose to do. What’s mine is yours, forever. I love you.”