And Nick knew exactly what that kiss had done to me. He was so experienced with women; I undoubtedly seemed so uncouth and unsophisticated to him. Plus, that kiss hadn't affected him at all; he had been just teaching me a lesson. A humiliating one. I would play it cool at the Arts Center tonight. There was no way I could work my feminine wiles on him, twisting him around my finger as I could so many other men. He could outplay me in a second.
Because I loved him.
Crap. I had to let that go before I made an even bigger fool of myself. For the hundredth time since our kiss, I remembered him pressing me up against his rock hard cock. He had probably meant to scare me away - to show the inexperienced little girl that I was in way over my head.
But it had shown me something else, that I wanted him with a burning intensity. Even now, thinking about it, my pussy throbbed with a deep longing. The damp heat spreading through my core and the ache between my legs confirmed one thing for me. There was nothing wrong with me. I wasn't a cold calculating tease as I had been accused of before. Yes, I was still a virgin, but I certainly had very normal sexual desires. I just needed to find the right man.
I looked at the clock. I definitely could spare five minutes. If I went to this concert so damn horny, it could be disastrous. I couldn’t afford to make a fool of myself again. I threw down my towel and jumped onto my bed naked. I leaned back against the pillow and closed my eyes. Of course, it was Nick's face that popped into my head. I was quite good at rationalizing. It was okay to fantasize about Nick, I just had to keep myself under control when I saw him later that night.
My hand slipped between my legs and started rubbing. Remembering my passionate kiss with Nick had left me wet and aroused. My fingers slid through my juices and circled my clit. What would it feel like to have Nick's cock inside me? I imagined him on top of me, kissing me, pressing his cock near my opening. I groaned as my finger slid into my pussy.
"Holy Fuck! That's the sexiest thing ever!" A voice growled from the door.
My eyes flew open as sheer panic set in. My boyfriend, Rob, was standing in the doorway, his mouth hung open, watching me masturbate on the bed.
I scrambled off the bed searching frantically for the towel. "Oh my God! Rob! How did you get in here?"
His eyes never left me. "Vickie let me in. She said she'd be back in an hour. Hey, don't stop on account of me…"
Snatching the towel off the floor, I shot him what I hoped was a withering look, but in reality, I was completely humiliated. I quickly wrapped the towel around my trembling body. "I can't believe you just barged right on in here."
Rob took a few steps towards me. "Hey, baby. Don't get mad at me. You don't have to be ashamed. You have needs and I can help you with that. Trust me, I could make you feel so much better than that."
I shouldn't have let him see my slight hesitation. I really wanted to lose my virginity, but not with him. "No, I don't think so. I have to leave anyway or I'll be late."
A flash of annoyance lit his face. "What? You've been avoiding my texts and calls all day and now you're leaving? Where are you going?"
I didn't have time to argue with him now. "I made plans. It's Saturday night. I'll give you a call tomorrow."
He put his hands on my upper arms, as if to keep me from leaving. He was getting agitated. "Just like that? You're going to dismiss me? After that little display you just put on? You're a real piece of work, you know that, Allison."
I should have dumped him long ago. "I wasn't putting on a display, Rob. I had no idea you were there, believe me. And I really have to go now before I'm late. We'll talk about this tomorrow."
His face softened. "What you were doing was really hot." He pulled me against his body. "I've wanted you for so long now. You're driving me crazy with this hot and cold act. I can't take it anymore."
I don't know why, but I felt kind of bad. I wasn't sure why I didn't want to have sex with him. He was attractive, had a fantastic body and was usually fun to be around.
My quietness must have spurred him on because I felt his fingers slipping under my towel. "Rob, I'm not trying to play games or hurt you. I'm just not comfortable with you yet."
His fingers started loosening the towel. "You just need to lighten up a little bit. Give me a chance, baby."
A hand slipped up my back and I felt his fingers glide under my long hair. His lips sought mine as I felt his hand firmly guiding my head closer towards his mouth until he was kissing me. Here I was, standing in my bedroom, half naked, with my boyfriend kissing me, and I felt nothing. I was busy trying to figure out the quickest way to get rid of him without hurting his feelings. The burning desire I had felt moments before, just thinking about Nick, was gone.
Rob's free hand must have worked the towel loose, because suddenly it fell to the floor leaving me naked in his arms.
I broke away from his kiss, but he kept me trapped in his arms. "Rob, I really need to go."
He looked angry again. "Jesus, Allie. You can't leave me like this. At least blow me before you go. Where the fuck are you going anyway? I'll come with you."
No! I didn't want him with me. Maybe if I gave him a blowjob, he would leave faster. It was the last thing I wanted to do, but maybe I did owe it to him to some extent.
"I'm going to the Arts Center in New Jersey to see the Cold Fusion concert with Maddie. And I've got to get going soon if -"
His anger was explosive as he squeezed my arms hard. "You just fucking saw them last night. You blow me off all day and now you're going to go out all fucking night and see that show again? What? Are you fucking one of the guys in the band?"
Now I was getting angry. I didn't have time to hold his hand and nurse his wounded pride or whatever it was. I didn't care how angry he was, he didn't have to insult me. And to think I had almost talked myself into giving this asshole a blowjob.
I struggled out of his tight grasp and angrily rubbed at the red marks on my upper arms. "When my brother's band is playing in the area, yes - I'm going to go to their show. And don't try to insult me with your nasty insinuations. I'm not fucking anyone; I told you that I'm a virgin."
Rob shook his head as his eyes slithered down my exposed body. "Bullshit. Not after the show you just gave me. How do you expect I'm going to react to that? You're just a fucking cock tease. We've been together for months now!"
My heart was thundering in my chest, I was so pissed. It was time to end this ugly scene. "I wasn't aware there was a time limit, a few dinners, a few dates and I have to put out for you?"
"Yeah, that's how it normally works." Rob's stare was getting uncomfortable.
I fought hard not to cover my body; I didn't want to give him the satisfaction of cowering before him. "Well, it's not going to happen with us. In fact, I don't think we should see each other anymore."
The chilling look that passed over his face frightened me. His hand snaked out and grabbed my wrist. "Really? Just like that. Suddenly I'm not good enough for you? After months of teasing me, of flaunting your body in front of me…"
This wasn't the first time he had accused me of being a tease. I should have put a stop to this a long time ago. "Rob, you need to leave. Now."
He laughed bitterly, but didn't let go of the iron grip on my wrist. "I'm done playing your little games. Teasing me, turning me on and then running cold. Leaving me with blue balls every fucking time I see you."
As he talked he stepped closer to me. Without thinking, I backed up and he advanced again. He was backing me up towards my bed. As insanely naïve as it sounds, that was the first time I actually started feeling physically threatened.
I tried to calm him down. His near righteous anger was intimidating. "I'm sorry that I upset you, that was never my intent. But this isn't working out, Rob. I just don't feel that way about you."
The back of my knees hit the bed as I looked up into his hard glittering eyes.
He was staring savagely at me, breathing heavily. "You don't feel that way? Did you feel that way when you s
pread your legs in front of me, moaning as you were touching yourself?"
Before I could reply, he fell against me, pushing me back against the bed. No, this wasn't happening. His lips descended, but I turned my head so that he couldn't kiss me. He began kissing my neck as I struggled to get away.
"Get off me! Now! I don't want this. I want you to leave." I pushed at his hands, but suddenly they were everywhere. Touching me. His heavy leg lay across my own legs, effectively trapping me.
His hand swept over my breast, fondling and squeezing, as I desperately tried to get out from under him.
"You do want this. You've been begging for this for months. Look how your body responds to this. You must like it rough." His fingers squeezed my nipple causing it to harden even more.
My hands couldn't budge him, so my fists started pounding on his arms and back. "Stop! I said no. I don't like this. Stop."
I had clearly refused his advances. There was no ambiguity. And yet he wasn't stopping. In fact, he gathered up my hands and easily pinned them over my head with just one of his and continued on with his cruel torture.
How could I be so helpless to stop him? How could I be so weak? He was going to rape me.
The reality of the situation dawned on me with sickening clarity. My struggles were pitiful against his strength. They even seemed to excite him more. I needed to do something fast. I stopped moving.
He looked up at me and chuckled. "Tired of pretending you don't want it already?"
"No. You aren't listening Rob. I told you to leave." Nothing was working. His mouth closed over my breast and he began pulling on my nipple with his teeth. His other hand started sliding down my side, slipping between my legs.
I felt a sickening knot of despair in my stomach. Any moment he would violate me beyond imagine. I couldn't knee him in the balls or kick him. I couldn't punch or scratch at his eyes. My body was completely trapped beneath him. No one would hear my screams. Mounting terror spurred me on. Words would not stop him. I did the only thing that I could think of to stop him. I sunk my teeth into the meaty part of his shoulder. Hard.
He jerked up and let go of my hands. But all in the same motion, the back of his hand slammed into the side of my face. "You bitch!"
A yelp escaped my lips as tiny lights exploded inside my head where my face absorbed the forceful impact. Pain and shock left me momentarily stunned.
I forced my eyes to open. Rob was inspecting the wound I had left on his shoulder. In his preoccupation, his weight was mostly off my legs. I began pulling them free to get away from him. I tore free and backed up the bed towards the headboard.
Rob poked at his shoulder and then looked at me with murderous eyes. "You're going to pay for that, bitch."
He sounded calm. Too calm. And then he started slowly advancing on me. Wildly, I looked around for anything I could use to defend myself. A small table lamp on my night stand. A box of tissues. All useless.
I made a move to scramble off the side of the bed, but his hand shot out and grabbed my ankle. I kicked at him with my loose foot as the upper half of my body twisted and slid over the side of the bed. He pulled hard on my leg and then let go.
My body landed on the uncarpeted floor with a thud. Pain exploded in my upper arm and shoulder as it took the brunt of the fall. Tears stung my cheeks as I gently rolled off my arm and onto my back. I needed to get up and escape, but I was wracked with agony.
Rob suddenly loomed over me as I lay on the floor. I swallowed a sob of panic. The words came out somewhat garbled, "Are you going to rape me now?"
He stared at me for a few moments and then turned and left the room.
I was paralyzed, except for the horrible shaking of my body and my chattering teeth. I'm not sure how long I laid there. My mind was numb. I fell asleep.
Someone was banging on my door. "Allie! Allie! Maddie keeps calling. She wants to know where you are."
I groaned and gingerly sat up. The entire left side of my face was throbbing with pain and I could barely move my right arm. The banging at the door didn't stop.
"Just tell her I'm not going to the concert after all. Something's come up last minute." The effort to speak made my face ache even more. I could feel the swelling as I talked.
"Okay." I heard her voice through the door explaining to Maddie. I must have left my cell phone in the living room. It grew quiet outside my door. "Allie, are you okay?"
Stifling a moan of agony, I stood. Suddenly, I felt nauseous. "Yeah, I'm fine."
I sat on the bed unmoving until the nausea passed. I glanced at the clock. It was well past 8:00. I must have slept for over two hours. Maddie must be furious with me!
I needed to get some ice on my face, but the thought of getting dressed was daunting. I spied the tank top and skirt tossed casually on the top of my dresser. There was no way I could twist my arm into a tank top right now. I stood and pulled a pink satin robe out of my closet. Very carefully, I slipped into the robe and tied the sash.
Opening the door quietly, I tiptoed out of my room hoping that Vickie had been on her way out for the night and was already gone. I passed through the living room and into the small kitchen without seeing her. I scrounged for a clean dish towel and then loaded it up with ice from the freezer using only my left hand.
"Aha! I thought you and Rob must be -" Vickie stopped as I spun around startled, dropping ice cubes all over the floor.
Her eyes flew to my face. It must have already looked horrible because she gasped in shock. "Oh my God, Allie. What happened to you?"
I felt tears pricking my eyes again. "Nothing."
Her hand flew to her open mouth as she looked at me with sympathy. "Oh my God. Did Rob do that to you?"
I couldn't look her in the eyes; I was so ashamed. She took a step towards me her arms outreached, ready to wrap me in a hug.
Panicked, I squeaked, "No. Don't touch me. My arm. It hurts."
Her arms dropped uselessly to her sides. She looked over her shoulder. "Is he still here?"
I shook my head.
She bent down and started picking up the scattered cubes off the floor, but not before I saw the tears in her eyes. "I'm gonna call the cops."
"No!" My heart started beating frantically. "No. Don't. Please, Vickie. I just need to be alone right now. Maybe tomorrow I can figure it out when I have a clearer head. Please Vickie."
She stood up and dropped the errant ice cubes into my towel. "You can't let him get away with this. What if he comes back? Just let me report it."
My head was pounding and my legs felt shaky. "Please, Vickie. Please just give me some time. I just need some pain meds for my headache and then I just want to go to sleep."
She seemed reluctant to let it go, but thankfully, she finally did. She filled up a glass with water and handed it to me. I watched while she dug through the messy kitchen cabinet and found some ibuprofen.
She fished some pills out of the plastic bottle. "This should help with the pain and the swelling."
"Thanks. I'm just gonna go lie down. It looks like you're ready to go out. Don't worry about me, I'll be fine." I swallowed down the pills, grimacing at the pain radiating in my skull.
Vickie didn't move. "Allie, let's talk about this-"
I shuffled past her towards my bedroom. "Can't right now. We'll talk in the morning."
I closed my door and laid down on my bed, waiting for the ibuprofen to kick in and relieve the pounding misery.
Chapter Four
Nick finished his beer and searched the crowded room again. Where the hell was she? Their set had finished almost an hour ago and they had finished up all the post-show bullshit. Everyone was heading out to a big party and Allison was nowhere to be found.
Maybe she had decided not to come to his show tonight. After the way they had parted last night in D.C., he wouldn't blame her. He should feel relieved. It would have been a frustrating night, babysitting her and a friend again, while trying to maintain an emotional distance between them.
&
nbsp; He had to admit to himself, though, that he was disappointed she didn't show up. In fact, he realized that he had been anticipating seeing her all day. And he might have even put special effort into his performance on stage thinking she was somewhere in the audience. Hell, just thinking she was watching him had kept him hard as a rock most of the concert. It was definitely for the better that she didn't show.
The guys were getting ready to leave. He would just check again and make sure she was okay and then once he knew, he would forget about her and enjoy the night. He'd find two hot chicks to make up for the night before. After Allie had left, he just wasn't in the mood for sex with a random woman, but he wasn't about to let her ruin another night.
He checked his cellphone. She still hadn't returned the numerous texts that he had left her. But Rosie had finally texted him back saying that Allison had never shown up to pick up the passes. So she had decided not to come. Even though he told himself that it was probably for the best, he felt his mood plummet.
Tommy walked by and slapped his back. "C'mon Nick. We're heading out. Alex is anxious to leave for the party."
Nick felt his mood improving when they got to the bar. He pounded a few beers and practically had to fend off the swarming women. They must have been attracted to his sour mood. If he could just forget about Allison, he could have a good time. They had parted on an awkward note and he knew he wouldn't be seeing her again for months. The tour was taking them south and far away from Philadelphia.
He thought about it. If he really wanted to get her off his mind, he needed to give her a call and make sure he left everything okay between them. He would act as if everything between them was normal and then say his goodbye. Then there would be plenty of women available to help him forget about her.
He disengaged himself from the two girls currently competing for his attention. They were both making suggestive advances, but he didn't really care which one he ended up with. Actually, both would be much better. But he couldn't even seem to get in the mood until he made this call to Allison.
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