I stood up and leaned in to hug him with my good arm. "Thanks so much for coming all the way out here to my rescue. I really appreciate it."
I held on to him tightly as I felt the heat of his hand resting on my back through the flimsy fabric of my robe. A jolt of awareness flooded my body. My breath grew shallow as I imagined his warm hands slipping under my robe and touching my bare skin. Tension coiled in my belly as I secretly ached for his touch.
I hastily pulled away, scared at revealing my crazy emotions and felt my robe gap open. Before I could move, Nick's eyes flicked to my exposed cleavage. The air around us crackled with tension. He shifted uncomfortably as he pulled his eyes away.
If I had been wearing panties, they would have melted right off. My pussy was throbbing with need. I had never experienced sex with a man, but I instinctively knew that there was only one way I could find the relief I needed so desperately.
I never considered myself a seductress; instead, I had always shied away from a man's advances. But there was something different about Nick and there always had been. I felt safe with him - protected. He would never hurt me.
My heart pounded in my chest as I stepped toward him. My eyes never left his as I climbed onto his lap, my knees straddling his waist. I could feel my bare pussy pressing against the denim of his jeans.
I'm not sure what he saw in my eyes. Did they mirror what I was feeling? Lust. Need. Trust. Even fear. I needed so much from him and it wasn't just a purely physical need.
He spoke one word. "Allie." It wasn't a question; it wasn't a rejection. It was just one simple word.
I leaned forward and kissed his lips. My body tingled and the air around us sizzled with electricity. He didn't move. Slowly, keeping my eyes on his, I untied my robe and shrugged it off my shoulders. I felt it slide off my body and fall to the floor.
Nick groaned, but his eyes never left mine. I was on fire for his touch. I sought his lips again, pressing my body close to his.
His protest sounded half-hearted. "Allie, you've just been through hell. This isn't right…"
My tongue slipped into his mouth and he returned my kiss for one dizzying moment before breaking off. "Allie, we shouldn't be doing this. You don't really want this."
Like hell I didn't. "Shhh. I want this." Since his mouth wouldn't cooperate, I started trailing kisses across his jawline and then down his neck. My fingers fumbled for the button on his jeans and managed to pop it open quickly. My hand slipped inside his pants and found his thick hard cock.
Nick reached for my hands to stop me. His voice sounded strained. "Allie, stop."
His words were like a splash of cold water to my face, instantly stopping me in my tracks. I flashed back to when I had told Rob to stop over and over and I felt shame flood through me.
My body tensed, my hands frozen in place. "You don't want me." It came out a whisper.
Nick looked pained. "It's not that. It's just not right, Allie, you're my sister…"
My laugh sounded bitter. "I'm not your sister!"
Nick eased my hand out of his pants. "Well, I've thought of you as a sister for a long time. And you've been through some serious shit tonight. I would be a real asshole to take advantage of all that."
I was on the verge of crying, but I couldn't back down now. "Even if it's what I want? It has nothing to do with what happened with Rob. I've wanted you since before all that. Nick, I need you. My body is burning for your touch."
Nick's stare had the butterflies dancing in my stomach again. I knew he was having trouble walking away or he'd already have been gone.
I looked up at him pleadingly. "Before you go, would you just kiss me once? Just one time and then I won't ever bother you again."
I could see the battle raging in his head. I knew he didn't want to hurt me; he was probably trying to figure out which choice would hurt me the least, giving in to me or walking away. I closed my eyes and waited nervously.
My insides fluttered when I felt his lips touch mine. I opened my lips to let his tongue slip into my mouth, as I hungrily demanded more of him. A whimper escaped my throat as he deepened the kiss, leaving my body shaking for more. His arms encircled me, pulling me against his hard length.
I didn't know my hands had slipped under his shirt until they were frantically feeling every inch of his toned abs. His mouth drank from me, robbing every last vestige of control that I had remaining. I felt his fingers tangling in my hair as our tongues entwined with one another.
Nick tore his lips from mine. "Allie, you're a danger to my sanity."
His kiss had left me breathless and shaken. On the edge of an abyss. Burning for him to take me over with him.
I was clinging to him. "Please, Nick, don't stop."
His hand slid up my side and I shivered when he cupped my breast. I gasped when a buzz of electricity shot straight to my core as his thumb swiped over my hardened nipple.
This time his voice sounded tortured. "Allie…"
I didn't want to give him time to think, or to wrestle with the demons in his head that taunted him, telling him this was wrong. I was almost mindless in my desire for him.
I pressed my sex against his cock as I whispered in his ear, "Nick, I want you. Please make love to me."
Deep in the back of his throat, a warning growl escaped. Within seconds, his hands were all over me, burning a path of fiery desire wherever they touched. His mouth captured mine once more and I sunk into an intoxicating oblivion of pure bliss. There was no more thinking, no more analyzing, no more doubting. I was completely overpowered by a swirling storm of passion, lust and desire.
A hand encircled my back and the next thing I knew, in one swift move, Nick had flipped me over, so that I was lying on my back underneath his body. Instead of feeling trapped by his weight, I felt secure. This was so right.
His mouth replaced the hand on my breast. I moaned with pleasure as his tongue flicked at my taut bud. When his teeth gently tugged at my sensitive nipple, I felt a molten heat invade my core. Of their own accord, my hips rose in mindless demand. It was a need almost entirely foreign to me, but so overwhelming and beyond any conscious control of mine.
Nick's hand slid down my stomach and over my mound. His fingers slipped between my legs, but instead of assuaging my crushing need, he only intensified it. His fingers slid everywhere, not fast and frantic, but slow and deliberate. I thrashed underneath him, seeking a release from the exquisite torture. An urgency grew within me, so frantic and insatiable that I began to plead for relief, "Nick, please."
His fingers circled my clit, teasing without mercy, before sliding through my folds and nearing my quivering pussy. A strangled cry flew from my lips when his finger pushed inside me. I was on the edge of climax, a climax far more intense than anything I had ever experienced before.
My fingers raked across the smooth skin of his back. "Nick, please, you have to help me!"
I wasn't even sure what I was asking for anymore, I was so frantic with need.
His mouth left my breast and he chuckled softly. "What do you need help with?"
His finger continued to slide inside me, rubbing against my inner walls and then withdrawing, circling through my juices and pleasuring my clit, before returning once again. With each stroke of his finger, the pressure and intensity for release grew to incredible new heights until I thought I would explode.
"Please Nick, don't leave me like this." I couldn't disguise the extreme desperation from my voice.
"Do you have a condom?" He sounded so in control.
My mind fought to process the situation; I could barely think. "No, but I'm on the pill. Please…"
His hands were still doing naughty things to my body, but I noticed his hesitation. Please don't stop. Please don't leave me.
He was thinking. He was having second thoughts. I reached up and pulled him close to me. My hands skimmed down his back as I kissed him. I wanted to guide his cock to my opening, but everything was trapped beneath his clothes and his kiss wa
s beginning to devastate my senses once again. I pressed my center into his fingers, needing to be filled.
I groaned my frustration as Nick broke our kiss and removed his deliciously taunting fingers from me.
My eyes flew open in panic. "Nick! Please don't leave me."
He settled a knee between my legs and pulled off his shirt. I drank in his beautiful form. I hadn't seen him shirtless in years and he was more perfect than I remembered. A new tattoo embellished his right shoulder and snaked around his arm. I wanted to find out what it was, but suddenly Nick was removing his pants. I didn't think my heart could beat any faster than it already was, but it seemed to do just that.
When he was finally undressed, I couldn't tear my eyes away from this thick hard cock. I shifted with embarrassment and felt heat rise to my face, but I just couldn't look away. It wasn't the first cock I had ever seen, but it was certainly the most magnificent.
Nick worked his knees between my legs, gently spreading them wider. I was completely exposed to him, but I didn't feel vulnerable. Just incredibly turned on.
Nick leaned down on his elbows, his face a few inches from my own. "Allie." He kissed my lips softly. "Are you sure? Just tell me if you don't want this and I'll stop right now."
If he stopped now, I felt as if I'd die. My answer was a tortured plea. "Please don't stop."
Nick branded me with another scorching kiss before he raised himself up. I watched in almost incredulous anticipation as Nick placed the tip of his cock near my opening. I waited for him to enter me, to ease the overwhelming desire I felt, but he was watching me.
My hips thrust forward. "Nick!"
He pushed slowly into me. "Ah. You're so wet. You feel so good."
The feeling was exquisite, as if I'd shatter into a million pieces. That is, until he plunged all the way into me. Well, I had expected it to hurt a little bit, but the pain was concentrated and intense. My body tensed and froze as pinpricks of tears gathered in the corners of my eyes. I gritted my teeth to keep from calling out.
He pumped into me again. "You're so tight it's incredible. I don't…"
He stopped. I opened my eyes and saw him staring back at me. "Allie, what's wrong?"
My voice was shaky. "Nothing." The pain was receding, but the magic I had felt building earlier had ebbed.
"What the hell is wrong?" He held himself still, filling me completely, as accusation burned in his eyes.
Oh God. I swallowed my panic. "Nick, please, why are you stopping?"
He ran a hand through his hair. "Because you're not enjoying this. It's almost as if you're in pain."
I desperately tried to think of something to say.
Realization dawned in his eyes. "Oh my God. Allie!"
Oh Shit! He knew. Did I really think I could get away with this without him finding out? Yes, I had hoped I would.
He looked horrified. "Am I right? Tell me Allie."
I couldn't think of a word to say.
He groaned and pulled out of me. "Shit. You should have told me."
Tears started trickling down my cheeks. "I'm sorry."
"This was a big fucking mistake." He slid off the bed and picked up my robe. He tossed it to me and then began getting dressed.
I'm not sure what I felt the worst about. That my fantasy night with Nick had all ended so poorly? That I had gotten a taste of pure heaven and would never find it again? That I had permanently damaged whatever relationship there had been between us? As I watched him getting dressed, it felt like the end of the world to me.
I began slipping into my robe as I desperately sought an explanation to give him. What could I say? How could I explain my complicated feelings?
"Nick, don't be angry with me, please. It's just that I trust you. I feel so safe with you. And I wanted to be with you…"
He cut me off. "If you trusted me so much, you should have told me, Allie. I would have been gentler. Oh, God." He rubbed his face with both hands in frustration.
I shook my head. "No. If you knew, you never would have touched me."
"You're right! Because it would have brought me to my senses. There can't be anything between us, Allie. This was a big mistake. You just went through some traumatic shit and you aren't thinking straight. And I couldn't fucking control myself. I took advantage of you when you were vulnerable. This isn't your fault. I fucked up. I just wish I could erase this all."
He looked a little shell-shocked and I wanted to comfort him. He was standing close enough to me that I could almost reach him. "No. I wanted to be with you, Nick. I've wanted this for so long. I've never felt this way about anyone before."
He was staring unfocused over my head. "I'm sorry I did this to you. You don't have to worry about me. I'll never hurt you like this again."
He left my room before I could answer. I thought briefly about chasing after him, but collapsed back on my bed instead.
Talk about screwing things up royally. My body had been awakened by Nick and now I would be tortured with the knowledge of what I had just lost. I lay on my bed uncertain, unsatisfied, and thoroughly confused by the events of the day. I waited for myself to crumple into a heap of despair, but it never happened. Instead, I fell asleep replaying the memories of Nick's hands running all over my eager body.
Chapter Six
I had been living back at my father's home for a few days, when I finally gave into temptation and went into Nick's old room. I hadn't seen him or heard from him in four months. Not since the night I lost my virginity to him.
I had recovered fairly well from my near rape, and thank god I had never heard from Rob again. But Nick's rejection had certainly stung. I spent the summer trying to resume a normal social life, partying with my friends and casually dating.
Dating had been strange. I wanted so badly to find a man that was not only fun to be with, but who invoked a passion within me. No matter how much fun I had going out with them or how sexually appealing they looked to me, no one could excite me the way Nick did. It was seriously pissing me off.
My hands smoothed down the same plaid quilt that had been sitting on the bed since Nick had moved out years ago. I surveyed the dingy navy blue curtains hanging in the window and the baseball pennants and posters still hanging on the walls. The only piece of Nick I could still see remaining in this room was the acoustic guitar propped up in the corner by the closet.
I dusted the room as quickly as I could, half-assing the job, and then left. My Dad would be home in about an hour, so it was almost time to start dinner. In the few days that I had already been there, I had settled into a routine quite quickly. I ducked into my room to check my e-mail before I started cooking dinner.
My room was just as depressingly old-fashioned as Nick's. Everything was pink and ruffled. Susan had decorated the room when I had first come to live there. It had seemed nauseatingly pink and babyish to me even when I was twelve. Unfortunately, Susan wasn't one for updating anything. This room would probably be stuck in the same time warp when I came back to visit twenty years from now.
I read through a few e-mails from friends and then finally replied back to my Mom. I had been in Texas for a week and still hadn't seen her, so I agreed to meet her for lunch the next day. The truth was that I was not looking forward to seeing her. I was sure to get an earful of grief about putting my life on hold for Susan.
About one week ago, Susan had broken her hip from a nasty fall from a ladder. A few days after her surgery, my father had called asking me to come back to Texas for an extended stay to help with her care. And since it ultimately meant that I had to give up my job, I had to think long and hard about it. I could have used the bad economy and lack of jobs as an excuse not to do it, but I felt obligated. They had taken care of me for years, after all, so what was a few weeks or even a month of my life? And besides, my job was nothing like I had expected it would be. It was constant drudgery with little chance of upward mobility. So, I packed up and headed back home.
Had I known what waited for me,
I would have instead insisted my father hire a nurse despite Susan's apparent objections. Actually, what they really needed was a housekeeper. Susan didn't want help with anything except taking care of the household chores. When she was forced to accept my assistance, I was treated with a bitter contempt. It turns out I'm not the most compassionate nurse. I'd had to restrain myself from wringing her scrawny unappreciative neck many times.
Despite her weakened position, she didn't hesitate to boss me around. She tried to keep me busy cooking and cleaning all day, but I had gotten wise to her ways. Now I stayed away from her as much as I could. I'd drop off meals to her temporary room on the first floor and bolt before she could give me a list of housework to complete.
Luckily my father was paying me for my trouble. But this job could never pay enough. As soon as I could, I'd flee back to Philly and start hunting for a new job. Reluctantly, I shut my laptop and headed downstairs.
The stairs made a faint creaking sound as I descended. Susan's hearing was definitely not broken. "Allison? Where have you been?"
I couldn't help but roll my eyes as I walked over to the doorframe and peered into her room. "I've been upstairs. Dusting. Did you need something before I start dinner?"
"Yes. I left my book over by the chair and I need some more water." She sounded petulant.
I retrieved the book and handed it to her. "You know, the doctor says the more you move about, the faster you'll get better. You need to get up and use that walker more often."
She grunted her disgust. "That's easy for you to say."
I shrugged. "Have you been doing the exercises the physical therapist told you to do? You're recovery will be slower if you don't exercise at all. I can't stay here forever, you know."
The last part slipped out, but damn, if she had been a more gracious patient, I'd have had a bit more sympathy.
The tone of her response was sneering and nasty. "You've only been here for four days, and already you want to leave? Is it that much trouble to help me out after all that I've done for you?"
I swallowed down a sarcastic reply, giving her the benefit of the doubt that her injury was making her even tougher than usual to deal with. "No, I'm happy to help out, but I just want you to get better. You should be following your doctor's advice."
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