She waved me off. "The doctor told me not to push myself. I'm not going to compromise my recovery by doing too much."
Oh lord. I saw ninety year olds show more gumption after hip surgery than she did and she was still in her fifties. "Okay. I gotta go start dinner."
I headed out of the room toward the kitchen. Susan called out from behind, "Don't forget my water." I pretended not to hear and kept walking.
After dinner was cleaned up, I informed my father I was heading out for the night and left to meet up with a high school friend for a few drinks. It was the first time I had gotten out of the house, besides grocery shopping, since I had returned to Texas.
I met up with my friend, Jill, at a local bar. We had been chatting for a while talking about what our mutual friends had been up to since graduating when she mentioned Nick.
"So, I saw your step-brother out the other night."
My ears immediately perked up. "Nick? Where did you see him?"
She was busy playing with the label on her beer bottle. "I was out at McCall's a few nights ago. He was there with Alex Lavigne and a bunch of girls. I wanted to go over and talk to him so bad, but I chickened out. I was going to use you as my excuse. 'Hey, how is Allie doing? I haven't seen her in so long…' That type of thing. But they were always surrounded by so many people."
I realized my pulse had quickened. "I guess he's in town then…"
Jill laughed. "Yeah, their tour is over. Maybe he'll be around for a while. Hey, if you go out to meet him somewhere, let me know. I've never met Alex before and you know I've always loved Tyler. Not that he would remember me or anything."
I took a sip of my beer. Nick was close by. Maybe he would visit his injured mother. Ugh. Don't get your hopes up Allie. "I'm not sure I'll be seeing him, Jill."
"Won't you be seeing him for Thanksgiving even?"
Thanksgiving? It was still so warm in Texas that I had forgotten that Thanksgiving was fast approaching. Four years of autumns spent in Philadelphia had made me overlook it was late November already. "I don't even know. With Susan still being laid up, I'm not sure we'll even do a real Thanksgiving this year."
But maybe I would see Nick while I was home. My stomach fluttered nervously at the thought.
***
Nick watched Alex and Lena as he took a long pull at his beer. Alex had been miserable without her while the band was on the road and they had gone through a huge rough patch when Lena had broken up with him, but now they were back together and inseparable. And he could see the profound difference in Alex. Even before he had reconnected with Lena, he had never acted so damn happy. It was almost sickening to watch.
He glanced away as he saw Alex sneak a feel of Lena's ass. He couldn't keep his hands off her. And it was obvious that Lena returned his feelings. Nick felt a pang of envy, but brushed it off quickly.
Marissa remained at his side, but he felt nothing terribly arousing about her presence. Their one-night stand had turned into a repeat hook-up. Before he knew it, she was blocking out other girls. If he had cared that much, he could have stopped it, but she was adventurous enough in bed so he didn't speak up. It was kind of nice to have a steady girl now that he was back home for a while. Unfortunately, deep down, he knew she was the wrong girl.
Being back home had inevitably led him to thoughts of Allison. Earlier in the night he had found out that Allison was back at home living with his parents after his mother's accident. Not wanting to face Allison and his shame, he had blurted out to his mother that he would be spending Thanksgiving with his girlfriend's family. He could tell his mother was disappointed, but he needed to keep his distance from Allie.
Since the moment he had learned she was in Texas, he couldn't get her off his mind. He had been fairly successful during the tour forgetting about his colossal mistake, but now all the emotions were churned up in his gut again.
He remembered how angry he had been when he had seen her bruised and swollen face. She was so vulnerable and trusting. But underneath all his concern and caring, he had been lusting after her. He had noticed her body. He had felt the fierce pull of desire.
He should have left as soon as he knew she was okay. When she climbed onto his lap and then dropped her robe, he was finished. She had seduced him so effortlessly. He grimaced at the path his thoughts were taking him. How could she seduce him? She was a virgin. He was just trying to excuse his horrible behavior. The whole disaster rested clearly on his shoulders.
His mood was turning sour. He had to face the facts. The night she had almost gotten raped, he had taken her virginity. And she was essentially his sister. It didn't get any more twisted than that. But worst of all, he still wanted her. Badly.
Marissa's hand absently rubbed his arm as she laughed about some joke with her girlfriend. He couldn't follow their conversations; they seemed to talk in some kind of code that he could never quite understand. But he didn't really care because it was all inane gibberish anyway. They seemed to be constantly on the prowl for men and it got tiring.
He checked his watch and noted that it wasn't even midnight yet. He wouldn't be able to drag Marissa away so early and he was already getting bored of the scene.
Alex broke away from Lena and approached him. "You looking to get out of here too? I think we're gonna take off."
Nick shook his head. "I wish I could, but Marissa will probably keep me here for hours."
Alex slapped his shoulder. "Why don't you promise her some of that Nick Hudson magic back home? She'll be dragging you out the door."
Nick just smiled and nodded. "Maybe. You two have a good time."
Alex started to leave, but then turned back. "Tyler's back tomorrow. He'll probably want to hit Ice. I'll let you know."
Ice was a huge club in downtown Dallas. It wouldn't be as mellow as their hometown bars, where everyone knew them and acted normal. Ice would be packed with tons of horny fan girls throwing themselves at the band. Just how Tyler liked it. Even the VIP area would be batshit crazy.
Nick thought maybe he should ditch Marissa for the night and have some fun. Or maybe he should bring her and have some fun anyway with or without her participation - see if their relationship meant anything to her at all. Or meant anything to him.
He put his arm around Marissa and pulled her against him. She was still giggling with her friend. She looked down absently at her drink and realized it was empty.
She turned to Nick and blinked, as if just remembering he was still there. "Can you get me another martini?"
Nick sighed. "Sure, babe."
He headed to the bar and caught the attention of Russ, the bartender. While he waited for the fresh martini, he checked his messages. For one brief moment, he thought about texting Allison. What the fuck? That would be stupid.
***
I turned my key in the lock and opened the front door. It was after eleven o'clock, so I was surprised when I heard voices. Normally, my father and Susan would have been asleep by then. I followed the sounds of voices to the family room, puzzled by the male voice that was not my Dad. Who could be visiting my parents at this hour?
As I approached the room, I could see Susan sitting in the armchair. It seemed that she had managed to rally herself to greet the mysterious guest. It must be someone important. Seconds later, my curiosity turned to surprise when I saw the man in the living room.
I recognized him instantly, and yet I didn't know who he was. My brain scrambled to figure it out.
He stood when he saw me and approached quickly. I remained paralyzed as he wrapped me in a smothering hug. "Little Allie. Well, well. Look at you, all grown up. I hear you've been taking good care of my mama."
He pulled away from me and winked. His words and his familiar appearance all clicked into place. It was Nick's older brother, John. I had met him only a handful of times in my life, but had heard snippets of conversations about him. Actually, they were more like arguments than conversations.
My father and Susan had fought about him many tim
es. My impression was that John was always in money trouble and my father was reluctant to ever loan him any money. They fought bitterly about it. Since I barely knew John, I mostly ignored the fights. But I did know that my father wholeheartedly disapproved of him.
"Hi, John." I saw my father scowling his displeasure as I returned John's cocky stare.
John oozed a sort of bad boy sexual charisma that probably drove women wild. He was undoubtedly as careless and reckless with women as he was with money. I stood my ground as I felt his eyes checking me out.
Two could play that game. I looked him over, noting his body was as strong and as built as Nick's. They were fairly similar in appearance, both quite handsome men, but John looked older and rougher around the edges where Nick just looked sinfully sexy to me. I finished my perusal and gave an indifferent tilt of the head as if dismissing him.
John laughed, a deep rumble in his chest. "Maybe I can help you out while I'm here?"
What? His devious, sexy smile caught me off guard. "You're staying- here?"
I was annoyed to hear my voice come out sounding so squeaky. Seconds earlier I had been proud that I showed him that I wasn't intimidated or impressed by him. Then with one sentence dripping with innuendo and that scorching smile, he had completely unraveled my cool demeanor. And judging by the smug look on his face, he knew it.
John flashed a smile at his mother. "I thought I would spend some time visiting with Mom while she recovered. It'll give me a chance to get back on my feet. Steve has been so kind to allow me to stay, at least till Thanksgiving." I heard the undercurrents of resentment in his voice when he spoke about my father.
Susan finally spoke up. "I'm so glad you're going to be here for Thanksgiving. Allison, we'll have to plan the Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow."
I looked at her alarmed. "But I've never made an entire Thanksgiving dinner before!"
As usual, Susan waved off my concern. "It'll just be for the four of us. It won't be a big deal. I'll write it all down for you to follow step by step."
Just the four of us? "What about Nick?"
Susan looked annoyed for a moment. "Oh, I spoke to Nick earlier. He's going to spend Thanksgiving with his girlfriend's family. Sounds like they're serious. I couldn't talk him out of it. Too bad he'll miss seeing you, John."
Nick's girlfriend? Disappointment slammed into me like a physical punch to the stomach. I guess I wouldn't be seeing Nick after all. I feigned tiredness and made my excuses so that I could escape to my bedroom and lick my wounds in private.
Chapter Seven
Now that I had been living on my own for a while, I was becoming much better friends with my Mom. Still, a lunch with her meant the inevitable prying into my life, her overbearing attitude and the constant knowledge that I didn't live up to her ideal of a daughter. And I couldn't wait to hear what she had to say about my moving back home to help Susan while her hip mended. That was going to be epic, I was sure.
I hadn't seen her in several months, but this time I was looking forward to it. I had some prying of my own to do. We met at a trendy downtown restaurant of her choosing. Personally, I would have picked the greasy bar & grill a few blocks down, but there was no changing my mother.
I had dressed carefully for our lunch, stylish and sophisticated, but not stuffy. When I walked into the restaurant, she saw me right away and came over to kiss me. She led me back to the table assessing my appearance along the way. I grinned as I saw the smile light up her face; I had passed inspection. Our initial meeting always reminded me of that pivotal luncheon over four years ago where she had found me utterly lacking and had sent me on a new path in life. And despite all our differences, I was always grateful for that.
We ordered and caught up with each other's lives. I was having a great time; the conversation was light and carefree. I was particularly stunned that she hadn't brought up Susan's injury and the reason I had temporarily moved back to Texas. Maybe she didn't want to ruin our moment together either.
But things had been bothering me lately, between moving back home and all the dynamics swirling in my family. They were dark, uncomfortable issues that I had hidden from my mind, refusing to dwell on. Things my mother might be able to clear up for me. After our waiter arrived with our food, I decided to broach some of the things that had been haunting me for years.
I twirled the pasta around my fork. "Mom, why did you send me to live with Daddy? Why didn't you want me with you anymore?"
I heard the sharp intake of her breath, but I couldn't bear to look at her face. I concentrated on my pasta, waiting for her answer.
"Honey, I didn't want you to leave. I fought like hell to keep you with me. Frank and I both did."
I was silent. If she had really wanted me, she would have moved heaven and earth to keep me. No judge would have taken me away from her without a reason. I wanted to believe her, but it didn't make any sense.
She put down her fork. "Your father and I battled it out in court for two whole years before it happened. With Frank's money, we could have outlasted your father forever. But then two things happened that changed everything."
I looked up at her. She looked as pale as a ghost. "What changed everything?"
She shook her head, struggling with her memories. "I shouldn't be telling you this. It's all ancient history. You don't need to deal with all that old crap."
What was she talking about? "Mom, I need to know. I don't understand anything. Please, I'm an adult now. Tell me."
She sighed quietly. "After two years of bitter court hearings, your father was almost out of money. In fact, he was in financial ruins. I thought it was finally going to be over. That he would stop harassing me about custody. His visitation rights were very generous, and he paid no support. Of course, we didn't need any help with all of Frank's money."
I prompted her to continue when she paused. She went on, "Then, when it seemed like we would win, there were some nasty insinuations made about Frank. They weren't true at all, but they could have wrecked him."
She was shaking her head, obviously sad remembering the situation. "Mom, what were the allegations against Frank?"
She waved her hand as if to brush it off. "Oh, that's not important. Just that he was willing to keep fighting and risk everything for us despite it all."
I had come too far to only learn half-truths. "Mom, tell me. I need to know."
I felt a lump forming in my throat as I saw the tears gathering in her eyes. "Oh, baby. It was all lies. Little whispers and suggestions that he liked young girls. That he had been seen behaving inappropriately towards you."
"What!" I was shocked. Frank had always been a gentleman. I couldn't believe that of him. I had always resented the hell out of him for stealing away my mother with his money, but he had never been anything but kind and generous to me. "Mom, who said they saw Frank behaving inappropriately to me?"
My mother looked down at her plate. "Susan."
Susan. My step-mother. "But I was never even with both of them together. It doesn't make any sense."
My mother dabbed at her eyes with her linen napkin. "I know honey. Susan always bitterly hated me. She wanted to win at any cost. And while Frank and I were prepared to battle the nasty rumors, because that's all they were, honey. If I ever had even one little suspicion of someone treating you like that, I would have-"
I lifted my hand. "Stop. I know that it was a lie. You don't have to convince me. But what happened? You said that two things got in the way."
I held my breath as I saw the tears start to stream out of her eyes and down her cheeks. She struggled to compose herself and I braced myself waiting for her answer. "Oh, honey. It was the absolute worst day of my life. I still can't even think about it without sobbing."
Wiping at my own tears, I whispered around the lump in my throat, "You have to tell me."
She blotted her watery eyes and smiled bitterly. "It was the day you finally testified at your custody hearing. The only time you were ever in court. You told th
e judge that you didn't want to live with Frank and I, that you wanted to live with your father."
Her words hit me like a punch in the stomach. I immediately saw the courtroom in my mind. Funny how in almost ten years, I hadn't thought back to that scene once, but now I could remember it like it was yesterday.
I was sitting at the front of the courtroom. I squirmed because everyone was looking at me. Even the bored looking judge. And I was all dressed up in the ugliest looking dress. With bows in my hair. I was almost twelve years old and my mother had put bows in my hair. I glanced over at her and she smiled weakly at me. I saw Frank's hand grab hers under the table.
The judge cleared his throat. 'Allison, take your time. This is a very important question, so think about it.'
I looked over at my father sitting at the other table with my stepmother, Susan. She nodded her head knowingly at me.
We had discussed this question just the other day. Susan and me. While we were eating brownies. She told me that if anyone ever asked me who I wanted to live with I should tell them my father. Because my mother was too busy with Frank and wanted to travel and she couldn't do that with me around. And that I could live with my father, just for a little bit. And then, if I wanted to go back to my mother's house, I could. It would be a test run.
I wasn't fully sold yet, but she slid another brownie my way. Mom never let me eat brownies, let alone two of them.
And then Nick walked through the kitchen. 'Tyler's coming over to practice.'
Susan turned to him. 'In the basement. You know how Steve hates all that noise.'
I turned to Nick, 'Can I listen to you practice?'
Nick shrugged. 'Sure. Just don't bother us.'
I shook off the memory, disturbed at how easily I had been manipulated. "I wish I had known all of this back then. Things might have been different."
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