The Chesapeake Bride

by Mariah Stewart

  Monday led into an even longer Tuesday. It seemed that after almost two years of avoiding Owen, Cyndi couldn’t spend enough time with him. Late that night, when he crawled into bed, he’d had little to say, and Cass hadn’t pushed him because she hadn’t been sure how. She was trying to be understanding, trying to feel what he felt after learning he’d had a child who’d been deliberately kept from him. She wished he’d talk to her about it, but his thoughts, his emotions, seemed tied up inside him.

  On Wednesday morning, Owen was already in the shower when Cass awoke. She tossed on a short robe and went downstairs to make coffee. When he finally came into the kitchen, she handed him a mug of coffee fixed just the way he liked it.

  “Thank you.” He pulled a chair away from the table and sat for a moment. He looked tired and worn-out. Even his tan seemed to have faded.

  “You okay?” she asked.

  He shook his head. “Cassie, I’m sorry. I know I should talk this out but I don’t know how I feel about any of this. I’m so out of my element. I don’t know how to be a father. I don’t know if I’m ready to take on this child—hell, I don’t even know this little guy, but he’s mine. I know I’m supposed to feel a certain way, but I don’t know how.” He ran a hand through his hair, wet strands falling onto his forehead.

  Cass filled a mug for herself and sat across from him at the table, and let him talk.

  “I’ve been pretty much on my own since I was eighteen and I left for college. I’m not used to having anyone depend on me. I’ve never had to be responsible for anyone but myself.”

  “You took care of Lis when she was little,” Cass reminded him. “When your mom was at work and your father didn’t bother. You made dinner for her and you read to her at night.”

  “That was different. I’d known Lis my whole life. We were really close back then. I knew what she liked to eat and what books she liked to read. I know absolutely nothing about my son. I don’t have that emotional connection to him yet. What if I never do?”

  “You must have learned something about him since you’ve been with him and Cyndi for the past couple of days.” She tried to keep an accusatory edge from her voice, but she wasn’t sure she’d succeeded.

  “I’m sorry.” He reached out for her hand. “I should have called or texted. I just lost track of time, I guess.”

  “Are you sure it was only time you lost track of?”

  “If you mean us . . . no, I’m sure of us. I’m just not sure of anything else right now.” His fingers locked with hers. “He’s a cute little guy, isn’t he?”

  “Adorable. He looks so much like you. I look at him and I see what you must have looked like at that age.” I see the son I thought we’d have together one day.

  “Gigi said he looks a lot like me. And I’ll give Cyndi credit. He doesn’t whine or act up much. I mean, he doesn’t seem bratty or anything. I just wish I knew . . .”

  “Knew what?”

  “Knew what to do about him. How do you learn how to be a father in a couple of days? He and I, we’re total strangers. I don’t even know how to talk to him. It’s like he and Cyndi have their own language and I don’t understand most of it.”

  “You’ll catch on.”

  “When will I do that? She’s going to take him back to Connecticut. How am I even supposed to get to know him? I swear, I’m wearing myself out from walking on eggshells around her. Like if I say the wrong thing, she’s going to scoop him up and disappear with him and then whatever chance I might have had to try to be his dad will have disappeared.”

  “Do you want to ask for partial custody?”

  “She’ll never let me take him away, even for a weekend.”

  “That’s not really her decision, is it? I mean, if you sue for custody and it goes before a judge, he gets to decide. I would think, under the circumstances, after you explain that J.J.’s very existence was deliberately kept from you, a judge might tend to lean toward you when it came to custody. What do you want, Owen? Deep down inside, what do you want?”

  He was quiet for a very long moment.

  “I want to know my son. I want to have a place in his life. I want him to know that I’m his father. I want to have a role in who he grows up to be.”

  “Then that’s what you need to work out with Cyndi. And if I could make one suggestion? I’d tell her to get this guy she’s marrying down here so you can check him out yourself. If he’s going to be with your son on a day-to-day basis, you need to know firsthand what kind of a man he is. And the three of you are going to have to work out a custody agreement and make it legal.”

  Owen nodded slowly. “I should call Jesse Enright and talk to him. He’s a lawyer in town.”

  “Sophie’s brother. Yes, I’ve met him. That’s a good start.”

  “I guess working out the custody thing is the right thing to do. But what if J.J. doesn’t like me, doesn’t want to be with me?” He rubbed a hand over his face. “And what if I’m no good at being a father? What if I never learn how? I am so confused right now, Cassie.”

  “Maybe you should stay at the store with Gigi until you figure things out.” She hated to say the words but she could sense he needed some space.

  He blew out a long breath, and Cass could tell he was conflicted.

  “Maybe you’re right. Maybe what I need is time to myself to think things through.”

  Cass could hear the reluctance in his voice, but they both knew she was right. She disengaged her hand slowly. “You left a few things in the dryer the other day. I’ll get them for you. . . .”

  CASS WAS ON-SITE at the island with the crews as they cleaned up one lot after another and the dock construction began. She couldn’t help but wonder what Ruby thought of all this. On Thursday afternoon, Cass headed toward the store.

  “Hi.” Cass waved a greeting to Ruby, who sat at the table near the window.

  “Hello, Cass.” Ruby nodded but didn’t lift her head from whatever she was reading. “Haven’t seen you these past few days.”

  “I’ve been busy. You know, all the stuff going on here on the island. What do you think of the progress we’re making?” Cass tried to sound casual, referring to the construction that had begun.

  “I know all about what’s going on here, and I know what I be thinking.” Ruby turned to Cass. “What you be thinking?”

  “I don’t know.” Cass felt the tears begin to flow down her cheeks. “I don’t know what’s going to happen, Ruby.”

  “Now, you come right on over here, girl, and you sit with me. . . . That’s right, pull that chair closer.”

  “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.”

  “Do? Not for you to be doing. That be someone else’s burden.” Ruby reached for Cass’s hands and patted them as if to comfort her. “Choices be made, but not by you. Wait and see what those choices be.”

  “I’m not a very patient person, Ruby.”

  “Then maybe one of those choices be yours after all.” Ruby patted Cass’s hands again. “You just be you, Cass. That be all you can do. Just be Cass.”

  “I’m afraid, Ruby. What if that’s not enough?”

  “Fear be for the weak. And if you not be enough, then you be in the wrong place. Girls not as smart as you know that much. Uh-uh.” Ruby stood and folded the newspaper she’d been reading. “If you not be enough, that be on that fool boy of mine, not on you.” Ruby walked toward the counter shaking her head and muttering something under her breath.

  Cass followed Ruby and got a bottle of water from the cooler. When she went to pay for it, Ruby waved her off. “No charge for family.”

  Cass’s eyes filled with tears again. She had felt like part of this family, had wanted to be part of what held them all together, Ruby, Owen, Lis, and Alec. She’d started to feel as if she belonged here. Now she wasn’t sure where she belonged.

  “Thanks, Ruby. I’m going to head back to work.”

  “Your people be taking apart the old Collier house today. ’Bout time. That place been
tilted on the foundation for the longest time. You think you be saving anything there?”

  Cass nodded and brushed away her tears with the back of her hand. “There’s some decent wood on the floors in the back of the house. The floors in the front are all water stained and soggy, I can’t reuse them. The brickwork is good—I’ll use that for the back patio. There’s a piece of one of the door surrounds where someone marked off the height of a child as he or she grew. I’m going to try to save that, try to find a use for it. It’s such a personal thing to that house.”

  “Alfie Collier. Only child that family had. Died when he was eleven or twelve.” Ruby nodded slowly. “Had the leukemia. They took him all the way to Baltimore for the doctors there, but it didn’t help. Didn’t seem right for a child to suffer so and then die anyway.”

  “No, it doesn’t.” Cass turned to go.

  “You have a good heart, Cassidy Logan. A good heart and true.”

  “Thank you.” Cass watched Ruby’s face, unable to read what she saw in the old woman’s expression. “You know, don’t you.” It wasn’t a question but a statement of fact. “You know what he’s going to do.”

  “Can’t say either way. Just have to wait and see.”

  CASS HADN’T BEEN kidding when she told Ruby she wasn’t patient. By the end of the week, she was worn-out from worry and speculation. It was almost as if the time she and Owen had spent together before Cyndi came back into his life had been a dream.

  And there was no question Cyndi was back in his life. Owen might have needed some space, but Cyndi was certainly occupying more than her share of it. So Cass was surprised when, on Saturday morning, he called her cell. “Would you come over to the island today?”

  “Sure,” she managed to say. “What’s up?”

  “I want you to meet J.J.”

  “I’d love to meet J.J. How are you getting along with him?”

  “It’s slow going. I’ve actually been spending these past two days working. Jared left me with his ship and two divers and a contract with the Maryland Historical Society that needs to be honored.” He paused. “I’m sorry. I should have been in touch more.”

  “It’s okay.” She hadn’t wanted to hear him say he was sorry. She’d wanted to hear him say, I still want you. I love you. I choose you.

  “It’s really not okay. I don’t want you to think this changes things between us, Cass. But this is my mess and I have to find a way to make things right for everyone.”

  Cyndi created this situation when she decided not to tell you that you had a son. Why is it on you to clean it up? It’s her mess.

  Aloud, Cass said, “You will. You’ll do what’s best.”

  “I’m trying. Look, her fiancé is driving down from Connecticut today. He and Cyndi and J.J. will be at Ruby’s by around noon. I’d really like you to be there, too.”

  “Okay. I’ll see you there.”

  Cass disconnected the call, and for the first time in a week, she felt that maybe—just maybe—things could work out after all.

  CASS PARKED HER car on the point and stopped at the cottage to give Alec an envelope containing her rent payment.

  “Boy, what a mess,” Lis complained when Cass walked into the cheery kitchen.

  “Actually much less of a mess than the first time I saw this place. It’s actually quite charming now.”

  “I wasn’t talking about the house.” Lis had been drying off a glass, which she then put into a cupboard.

  “I know.” Cass sighed. “I’m just trying to find a little levity where I can these days.”

  “I hear you. Honestly, I could smack that girl. I can’t understand why Owen is being so nice to her.” Lis dried another glass and put it away, her back to Cass. “Well, except for the fact that she has his son right now and she could make things tough for him if she thought he was pulling attitude with her.”

  “I guess there’s that. They’ve been spending an awful lot of time together this week. I guess they’re getting reacquainted.”

  Lis spun around to face Cass. “Do not go there. He’d be an absolute idiot to even think about getting back with her.”

  “Lis, they have a son together.”

  “No, they made a son together. She’s had their son.” Lis’s anger flashed. “The son she kept my brother from knowing about. There’s no together there.” Lis slapped the counter with her dish towel. “I cannot forgive her for what she’s doing to him. And you know, if it weren’t for this fiancé of hers—who apparently has shown more heart and better sense than she has—Owen still wouldn’t know about J.J.”

  Lis folded the towel and slid it onto a rack. “Have you seen him yet? J.J.?”

  Cass nodded and told Lis about the first encounter with Cyndi in Bling.

  “Holy crap, are you serious?”

  “I had this feeling—the day after your wedding, Owen and I were in Cuppachino and she was in there—and I swear, I just knew. I told him about seeing the little boy and he was adamant that it must have been one of her sister’s kids.”

  “She was bad for him back then, and she’s even worse for him now. I told him to get a lawyer involved immediately. I don’t know what she’s up to. I don’t know what she wants from him at this point, and what she’s willing to give. I’m so angry I could spit.” Lis growled. “I hate her for this. I used to think she was okay before, but now I hate her for what she is doing to my brother.”

  “Her fiancé is coming today, so maybe he’ll help to get things resolved. At least maybe he can help work out some sort of custody agreement. I would think she’d need his input since she’s going to marry him and he’ll be J.J.’s stepfather.”

  Cass took the rent envelope from her bag and handed it to Lis to give to Alec. “I guess we’ll see.”

  “You’re liking the house?” Lis asked as she walked Cass to the door.

  “I am. I love the house.” She forced a smile. At least I did when Owen and I were sharing it. Now . . . not as much.

  Cass headed to Ruby’s, her heart in her mouth. She didn’t have a good feeling about what was going to unfold, but she knew she had to put one foot in front of the other and see it through.

  Cyndi and her fiancé had already arrived at the store and were sitting on the back porch with Owen when Cass drove up. J.J. sat on the floor between his mother and soon-to-be stepfather. When Cass joined them, Owen rose to kiss her cheek and offered her his chair, which she declined. Before he could begin to make introductions, Cyndi extended her hand to Cass.

  “Owen’s told me so much about you.” Cyndi’s smile appeared fixed, and Cass couldn’t tell how sincere it really was.

  “Likewise.” Cass turned to the man on Cyndi’s left. “You must be . . .”

  “Kevin. Kevin Cook.” He stood and shook Cass’s hand. He was a nice-looking man in his early forties who was the same height as Cyndi.

  “Cass Logan,” Cass returned the greeting, then turned to Owen. “So what’s on the agenda?”

  “There’s no agenda. We—that is, Cyndi and I—thought we should all get to know each other.”

  Cass sat on the top step, where she could observe the child, who played with two little cars and who had no idea that he was the heart of all the drama that had been going on around him for the past week.

  Every once in a while J.J. looked up at his mother, or at Kevin, but not at Owen and certainly not at Cass. The situation was so awkward, Cass began to feel uncomfortable. She tried to engage Owen’s son, but he totally ignored her. He’d obviously deemed her unimportant in his world.

  Kevin and Owen were making small talk about the island and fishing and water-skiing. Cyndi tried to make conversation with Cass, but everything Cyndi said sounded to Cass like a challenge.

  Finally J.J. got up and took himself down the steps and into Ruby’s garden. Cyndi watched as he went from flower to flower, announcing each time, “Flower,” which earned him the praise of his mother.

  “Good, J.J. That’s right. Flower.” Cyndi beamed at his
obvious brilliance.

  “Bee,” J.J. announced. “Bee.” Then he screamed.

  Cyndi and Owen were off the porch in a flash. Owen got to him first and picked him up. J.J. sobbed and reached for his mother, holding out his finger; he’d apparently gotten too close to the bee. They carried him, still sobbing, into the store, where Ruby could fix him up with one of her miracle salves.

  Kevin and Cass chatted until Owen and Cyndi returned with J.J., who had stopped crying and held a Popsicle in both hands.

  “I see he’s been in Ruby’s cooler,” Cass said.

  Owen nodded. “Nothing like an ice pop to make things all right with the world.”

  If only it were that easy, Cass thought.

  J.J. toddled off onto the dune with his mother trailing behind. A minute later, she called to Owen to come identify a bug they’d found.

  Owen sat on the sand and pointed to something on the ground, and J.J. leaned over to see, then sat next to his father, who held J.J.’s rapt attention. Soon Cyndi sat, too, and the three of them continued to look at whatever J.J. had found. Cass and Kevin sat on the porch watching the scene on the dune play out, and Cass wondered if Kevin felt as much like an outsider as she did. To Cass’s eye, the three sitting together—talking and laughing together—appeared to be the perfect family. The image burned itself into her brain.

  Finally, she could no longer deny the obvious. She wasn’t blind.

  Cass stood and turned to Kevin. “It was nice to meet you.”

  She picked up her bag where she’d dropped it on the porch and walked to her car. She knew she should have said good-bye to Owen, but she just couldn’t bring herself to intrude on that perfect little family of three. She drove back to Lincoln Road, packed her bags, locked the door behind her, and headed to Baltimore.

  CASS SAT IN front of her parents’ home for several minutes trying to collect her thoughts. She tilted the rearview mirror and peered at her tired face, then searched her bag for the little jar of concealer she always had with her. She couldn’t erase the dark circles completely, but maybe she could mask them just a little. She grabbed the suitcase she’d packed and the tote holding her laptop and swung her bag onto her shoulder. Straightening her back, she followed the cobbled walk to the big front door and knocked before she opened it. At that moment, she needed nothing more than a hug from her mother.