Heartbreak Warfare

by K. B. Webb

  I start getting ready for my lunch with Dani and Linda Gail while Ryan digs through the clean clothes that he has laid out on my bed trying to find something to wear.

  “Hey Jasmine, toss me my deodorant,” I find it sitting on the counter and throw it to him. I take a good look around my bedroom. He has shoes lined up against the wall, the dresser on his side of the bed has his phone, wallet, and keys sitting on it. I step back in my bathroom and see pretty much the same thing. Ryan’s stuff is all over. His toothbrush is next to mine in the holder, his shaving cream and razor are sitting on the counter, and his favorite cologne is right next to it. Without even realizing it, Ryan has made my home his home. I guess it’s not too surprising since we spend most nights here, but what is surprising is how happy it makes me to see his things comingled with mine. There’s even a post it on the mirror in his handwriting that says ‘Yes your ass looks great in those jeans.’

  Ryan turns on the radio and folds clothes as I dry my hair. I watch him as he dances around and plays air guitar. He looks so fucking adorable right now.

  “Hey,” I shut my blow dryer off and stand in the door way, “move in with me?”

  Ryan doesn’t answer me. Instead he turns the radio off and looks at me like I’ve grown three heads, “What did you just say?”

  “I said move in with me. You basically already have, but let’s make it official.”

  “You realize if I move in with you I’ll be here all the time, right? Like annoying the shit out of you because I don’t put my clothes in the fucking basket and leaving the toilet seat up.”

  “Well as long as you remember to not leave wet towels on the floor and I don’t fall in the toilet, I think I’ll be OK.”

  He walks across the room and wraps his arms around my waist, “You’re serious about this. You want me to move in with you?”

  “Hell yea I want you to move in with me. You cook and wash the dishes. It’s really for my benefit not yours.”

  He laughs and kisses me, lifting me up in the air and spinning me around.

  “You promise to cook pancakes?”

  “Every Saturday.”

  “And this will always be a bra free zone?”

  “Well of course.”

  “You promise to wear my old shirts to bed every night?”

  “Only the ones with holes in them. They’re my favorite. You promise to watch girly shows with me?”

  “As long as I get a blow job after.”

  “Deal.”

  “Then yes, hell fucking yes I will move in with you!” I don’t remember the last time I was this excited about something. Ryan Davis is going to be living with me. Never thought I would say those words.

  “There’s only one problem,” well shit, “I signed a lease and my landlord can be a real bitch sometimes.”

  I laugh at his description of Dani because it is so true. “Well lucky for you, your bitch landlord is my best friend and owes me big time. I think I can work something out.”

  “That’s probably a good thing since I’m unemployed now.”

  The happy feeling in my heart is instantly replaced with hurt. Ryan can tell I’m upset because he instantly begins to try and make light of the situation. “Jasmine, I swear, I was just kidding. I mean, I am unemployed but I’m not stressing about it. Don’t let my dumb ass joke ruin this, ok?”

  “OK.” He kisses me again and goes back to folding clothes and singing along to the radio while I continue to get ready.

  I try to let his joke about being unemployed go, but I just can’t.

  “Hey Ry.”

  “Yea baby?”

  “You promise you aren’t stressed about not having a job?”

  “I can’t promise that because it does bother me, but I know I’ll find something. It may just take a little while. You don’t need to worry about it though.”

  “But I am worried because I know you’re worried.”

  He walks into the bathroom and stands behind me so that I can see his face in the mirror while I finish doing my hair. “Don’t worry about me please. I will be fine. There will be other jobs.”

  “But you loved your job. You told me so.”

  “I also told you that I loved you and you are more important than any job.” He turns me around, hugging me and kissing my forehead, “I will be fine. I would rather be here with you talking about moving in together than working at any job, so you have nothing to worry about.”

  I just nod into his chest even though I am still worrying about everything.

  I finish getting ready and leave for lunch with Dani and Linda Gail. I tell Ryan to go to his apartment and start packing and bringing stuff over, and I’ll talk to Dani about getting out of his lease at lunch.

  I pull into the parking lot of River Grill next to Dani’s jeep. I don’t see her or Linda Gail in the car so I walk inside.

  I find them sitting on the patio, Dani with a Jack and coke in one hand a cigarette in the other and Linda Gail with a glass of wine in front of her.

  “Hey ladies, sorry if I’m a little late.” I give them both hugs, take a seat, and order a sweet tea when the waitress comes by to bring me a menu.

  “You’re not drinking?”

  “Nope. Not right now at least.” I’m still running on the high of hearing Ryan say he will move in with me, I don’t need any kind of alcohol to bring my spirts up.

  “So, I hear you and mom had a fun night last night?” When Dani and I first became friends, I heard her talk about her mom all the time and the amamzing relationship they had. I felt myself being jealous pretty often, but I never let her know that. After a while, I wound up talking to Linda Gail over Skype a few times a week when she would call Dani, and after her first visit here, she and I instantly bonded. Initially, I worried that Dani would think I was trying to steal her mom away, but she let me know early on that she could never feel that way. I was her best friend and she knew everything that I had been through. She knew that I was in need of an amazing mother figure, and she had an amazing mother, so she has never had a problem with sharing her.

  “Yea we did. I felt like I was going to die when I woke up this morning.”

  Linda Gail downs the rest of her glass, “Well, I gotta die, death by wine doesn’t sound like it would be so bad.”

  “Good lord mom, did you drink that already?”

  “Don’t judge me Dani Gail. This is my vacation.” I laugh and choke a little on my tea. The relationship between Dani and her mother is so very different than the kind of relationships I assume most daughters have with their mothers. They are honest with each other about almost everything, and can find the humor in any situation. Linda Gail is so accepting of Dani and everything about her. It’s a beautiful, sometimes hilarious, thing to watch.

  “Mom, you drink like that at home too, so don’t use vacation as your excuse,” Dani rolls her eyes at her mom and turns to face me again.

  “Anyway, how’s Ryan? I heard the talk between him and Molly didn’t go well.”

  “Who did you hear that from?”

  “Well, Molly.”

  “What did she say happened?”

  “Just that she couldn’t support y’alls relationship so she and Ryan weren’t on speaking terms right now.”

  “That’s it?”

  “Yep. I assumed there was more, but that’s all she told me. I think she knows that I won’t let her talk shit about you so she left out the major parts.”

  I scoff, “Major parts. Yea I guess you could call her telling Ryan that I slept with Colt in high school and then asking him to choose between her and me major parts.”

  “She said that! Holy shit!”

  “Wait, wait, I’m lost,” Linda Gail sips on her second glass of wine, “Molly is Lucas’ little brother’s girlfriend, right? Works at Ricky’s?”

  “Yep, that’s her. She’s also Ryan’s best friend,” Dani answers her.

  “Well,” I cut in, “she was his best friend till yesterday.”

  “So Mol
ly is, well was, Ryan’s best friend and she is accusing you of sleeping with some guy named Colt when you were in high school?” Dani nods as I answer her, “Yes. And Colt was Ryan’s brother, who was also Molly’s boyfriend. He died a few years ago.”

  “Holy shit. This is complicated. I think I’m going to need more wine for this conversation.”

  “Geez mom, of all the things I think you need right now more wine is not one of them!”

  “Well,” I address Dani, “when I tell you the next part, you may need more whiskey.” She spins around slowly in her chair so she’s facing me.

  “Why would you say that? What did you do?”

  “Um, well, you’re going to have to find a new tenant for your apartment.”

  She raises an eyebrow at me, and I catch Linda Gail wearing the same expression, “Why?”

  “Because Ryan’s moving out.”

  “Where’s he moving Jasmine?”

  I smile and try my best to put on my sweet face, “In with me.” Part of me thinks Dani will yell at me for fucking up the lease Ryan signed, but more of me is scared she will tell him this is a terrible idea. I know that things are moving fast between Ryan and I, but it works for us. We’re happy.

  “Well Jazzy, I only have one thing to say,” ahh shit, “congratulations! I am so happy for you!” She jumps up from her chair to hug me and Linda Gail follows.

  “Really? You aren’t pist about his lease or worried I am moving too fast?”

  “Oh sweetie, not at all. I can find someone else to rent that apartment, no problem, and I think you’re moving at a pace that is right for you and Ryan. Y’all need to do what makes y’all happy.”

  They both sit back down and we order lunch and talk about how I should redecorate my apartment now that I will have a boy living in it.

  My phone buzzes and I am surprised when I see it’s a text message from Jason.

  We need to talk. My office, 30 minutes.

  “Who is that?” Dani looks worried.

  “Jason.”

  “I figured. He came by Ricky’s last night.”

  “What did he want? To try to convince you that I’m a whore and Ryan just wants me for my money?”

  “No actually, he came by to try to talk to me about his side of things. I still think he totally overreacted and is being a major dick head right now, but I kind of get it.”

  “What is there to get Dani? He called me a whore and basically disowned me. What could he have said that would make any of that ok?”

  “Jasmine, he really loves you, and you know that. He said some terrible, terrible things to you that you didn’t deserve, but have you ever thought that being hard on you is the only way he knows to show you that he loves you?”

  “Ya know, when he used to chew my ass when I didn’t make straight A’s, I kinda thought that. When he told me countless times throughout high school and college that I deserved better than the guys I was dating, and then scared those guys off if I wouldn’t break up with them, I kinda thought that again. But when I stood outside his house and he told me that I was a disgrace to our family name, I never thought that. When he fired my boyfriend from his job because he doesn’t believe that someone can really love me without wanting my money, I never thought that. I know the difference between Jason being hard on me because he loves me and Jason being hard on me because he’s a selfish prick.”

  “He said last night that he thinks he fucked up, with you and Ryan.”

  “Well good because he did.”

  “He thinks he’s protecting you, and he feels like he has to do that because he’s your big brother and that’s his job, but I explained to him that you aren’t a little girl anymore, you don’t need protecting. And with Ryan, well he says he didn’t realize till he fired Ryan that everyone who works for him is incompetent and doesn’t know jack shit about the gym. Ryan was only there a month but he did a great job of getting shit organized. He was gone for one day and shit started falling apart.”

  “I’m happy shit’s falling apart. Ryan didn’t deserve Jason’s bullshit. It’s me he’s mad at, not Ryan.”

  I excuse myself to the restroom, I need a minute to myself. I walk into the bathroom and lock myself in a stall, putting my hands on my head to try and catch my breath. I know Dani thinks she’s helping me by telling me these things, but she’s not helping at all. I want to be pist at Jason, and part of me is, but a bigger part of me is just hurt. He’s my brother, my family, and knowing I don’t have his approval to be with a guy who genially loves me for me is killing me.

  I calm down and walk back out on the deck. I glace at my watch and realize I have to leave now to meet Jason. I don’t know if talking to him right now is the best idea, but it has to be done sooner or later.

  “Well ladies, I’m gonna have to bail on the rest of our girls day. I have to go meet my shit head brother at his office. Wish me luck!”

  I leave some cash on the table and hug Dani and Linda Gail goodbye. I promise Dani I will be nice to Jason, even though God knows I don’t want to be.

  Right before I leave River Grill, I text Ryan and ask him to meet me at Jason’s office in 10 minutes. He asks if this is a good idea, and even though I know it’s not, I tell him it is.

  I know why Jason wants to meet with me, he wants me to sign over my portion of Slade Industries, and I don’t know if I can do that alone. I need Ryan there to back me up, no matter what decision I make.

  I also want Ryan standing beside me when I tell Jason that we’re moving in together and there isn’t jack shit he can say or do that will change that. I know he probably won’t take the news well, but as long as Ryan is standing beside me, I don’t give a shit what he thinks.

  This is a terrible fucking idea, but when Jasmine called and asked me to meet her at Jason’s office, I couldn’t say no.

  “Look,” she stops me right before we walk into the door of the large office building that holds Slade Industries corporate offices, “I’m gonna say some things that you aren’t going to like, but I need you to go along with them and support me.”

  “What are you planning on saying?”

  “You’ll find out soon. I just need you to support me, OK?”

  “Alright.” I nod in agreement, but I have a terrible feeling about this. She must be planning some shit she knows I won’t approve of if she’s telling me all this, but I told her I would be supportive so I guess that’s what I have to be.

  We walk into the building hand in hand, and ride the elevator to the 8th floor. We step off the elevator into the waiting area of Slade Industries. There is a large picture on the wall of Jasmine, Jason, and their parents that looks like it was taken not long before their parents died. Jasmine couldn’t have been more than 12 or 13.

  “Come on,” she tugs at my hand and walks right past the receptionist and giving her a go to tell look in the process.

  We reach Jason’s office and she pauses for a moment, taking in a deep breath before she walks in without knocking.

  Jason’s sitting at his desk, and two other men in suits are sitting at the chairs across from him.

  “Well Jazzy, how nice of you to join us even though you’re almost 10 minutes late.”

  “Get them out of her Jason. I need to talk to you.”

  “Get him out of here then,” he nods his head towards me.

  “No can do man,” I address Jason but look at Jasmine, tightening my grip on her hand, “she wants me here so I’m not leaving.”

  There’s a stare down between us for a moments before he speaks to the men sitting across from him, “Gentlemen, could you give us a few minutes alone please.”

  The men stand to leave and Jason stands also, shaking their hands. They leave and once the door shuts awkward silence fills the room.

  “I’ll sign over my portion of the company if you give Ryan his job back.”

  “Jasmine, no,” she cuts me off before I can say more.

  “You said you would be supportive, so shut up and be suppor
tive.” I’m caught in a fucked up internal battle right now. I want to be supportive because I know standing up to Jason is hard as hell for her to do, but I don’t want to be the reason she gives up Slade Industries. Her parents left her a portion of the company for a reason, and she shouldn’t throw it away because of me.

  “You would sign over your portion for this shit head?”

  “Jason if we’re going to talk about all this, you cannot talk shit about Ryan. I will not stand here and let you do it.”

  Jason clenches his teeth and sits down, Jasmine and I do the same.

  “Jason, you’re all the family I really have left. I love you, but I love Ryan. Ryan is good for me. He’s supportive of me in everything I do. He takes care of me when I get too drunk and makes me food to sober up. But more than anything, Ryan loves me Jason. You may not be able to see that, and I hate that you can’t, but he does. He truly loves me, and he wants nothing more than to see me happy.”

  “You want her to be happy but you’re going to let her do this?” Jason address me.

  “Hey I don’t agree with this at all. I told her this morning that I could find another job, but she apparently didn’t listen to me. I honestly don’t even know if I want my job back. But I do know I want your sister to be happy and do what she thinks she needs to do, and I support whatever that is even if I don’t like it.”

  “Seriously Jason,” Jasmine’s voice has a bit of an edge to it, “why don’t you talk to me? I’m sitting right here!”

  “Jazzy, I’m just trying to understand what’s going on right now.”

  “No you’re not, you’re dismissing me like you always do.”

  “I do not dismiss you.”

  “Yes you do! You always have. Here I am, trying to actually talk to you and you completely ignore the fact that I’m the one talking to you and speak to Ryan instead. You always do that shit Jason. Just because I am your little sister does not mean I am incapable of making my own decisions. Ryan has nothing to do with this, hell he didn’t even know this was what I planned on doing until I told you.”